Yep, another girl thread

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DevilWillcry

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I have this pesky girl problem that I'm hoping GAF can help me with. There is this girl in my psychology class that I'm attracted to. I'd like to approach her and talk to her but there are a few problems that I feel are preventing that:

First of all, I don't know where to approach her. I think she has another class right after psychology and then she leaves, so I can't catch her in the student lounge. I suppose I could talk to her before class begins, but it would just seem so awkward to talk to her and possibly ask her out in front of other people in the class (I could get rejected, and then psychology class would be awkward for the rest of the semester). Would it be rude to stop her and talk to her in the hallway after class?

Secondly, I don't even know if this girl has a boyfriend. I even tried to look her up on Myspace to see if she has a boyfriend (I know it's creepy, and I felt dirty for doing it), but I don't even think she has a Myspace. I've casually listened in on a few of her conversations in class and she never seems to mention anything about a boyfriend. But then again, I don't feel like I've heard enough of her conversations to be sure. She's very good looking and thus likely to have a boyfriend, so I'd like to be sure before I even try talking to her. Is there a way to know for sure that she has a boyfriend before I embarrass myself?

Finally, I don't think she knows I exist. I'm a pretty reserved guy and I generally only talk in lecture when I'm asked to. I also get some mild social anxiety when approaching and talking to new people, so I guess I'm a little "shy". As you can imagine, this type of attitude makes me pretty much invisible. I'm not a bad looking guy and I'm pretty good at establishing solid connections once the conversation has started. The Problem is: how do I approach this girl without looking like an idiot?
 
Oh man, you have no chance if you're asking GAF.

Tips:
- Quit being a pussy and at least make smalltalk
- Just pretend she does have a boyfriend and drop a joke about it, she'll correct that fact if she wants you.
- Funny and cocky
- FHTUA
 
Wii said:
- Quit being a pussy and at least make smalltalk
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Heh, it has very little to do with being a pussy or not but I recently discovered I really lack the skill of small talking. Quite frustrating!
And attempting to talk to women outside of bars/clubs is something I doubt I'll ever figure out. I always feel like it'd be rude.

1. Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal.
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I hear this all the time but it really seems to lack any meaning?
 
RevenantKioku said:
Heh, it has very little to do with being a pussy or not but I recently discovered I really lack the skill of small talking. Quite frustrating!
And attempting to talk to women outside of bars/clubs is something I doubt I'll ever figure out. I always feel like it'd be rude.
Click to expand...

The key to small talk is to get rid of that false feeling
 
I'd advise against randomly asking this girl out. :lol I'd also say you shouldn't stop her right after class unless you have some reason for doing that.

Just talk to her in class. Start off with something about the class, and then move on to subjects outside of class. Casually mention a movie you saw recently or something. And don't assume that every attractive girl has a boyfriend.

And like grandjedi said, you should be looking on Facebook.
 
RevenantKioku said:
I hear this all the time but it really seems to lack any meaning?
Click to expand...
If you want a woman, it's really not all that difficult to get one. People who post these sort of things often think it's far more difficult than it actually is.
 
RevenantKioku said:
Heh, it has very little to do with being a pussy or not but I recently discovered I really lack the skill of small talking. Quite frustrating!
And attempting to talk to women outside of bars/clubs is something I doubt I'll ever figure out. I always feel like it'd be rude.


I hear this all the time but it really seems to lack any meaning?
Click to expand...

It means stop acting like women are a totally different species. They're human. They fart, they burp, they shit. Lots of guy assume that attractive girls only go for certain guys, so they shoot themselves down before they've even taken off.

Would you think it was rude if some random girl started up a conversation with you? Your average girl (even with a boyfriend) isn't going to be offended that you made some small talk.

I don't know, I worked in retail toy store for a couple years. So I had to make small talk with hundreds of people a week. 99% of people like talking about themselves or something they've done, so they'll rarely turn down the chance to talk about it.
 
Grizzlyjin said:
I'd advise against randomly asking this girl out. :lol I'd also say you shouldn't stop her right after class unless you have some reason for doing that.

Just talk to her in class. Start off with something about the class, and then move on to subjects outside of class. Casually mention a movie you saw recently or something. And don't assume that every attractive girl has a boyfriend.

And like grandjedi said, you should be looking on Facebook.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I was thinking I just need to approach her and talk to her for a few weeks (or months) before asking her out. If I can just approach her the first time and effectively communicate my personality to her, I think I'll have an idea of how compatible we are. It will probably still take a few weeks of talking (if she's interested). I don't wanna be too forward.
 
Go and sit next or near her?
Instead of worrying too much and putting pressure on yourself by asking her out, you could just try talking to her, which will also make clear you take an interest in her.

Don't worry either about 'making a good first impression' and all that (which will only work against you, not for you), just be yourself and have some confidence. Asking her out could be a little bit intimidating if you are a complete stranger. Tact!
 
RevenantKioku said:
Heh, it has very little to do with being a pussy or not but I recently discovered I really lack the skill of small talking. Quite frustrating!
And attempting to talk to women outside of bars/clubs is something I doubt I'll ever figure out. I always feel like it'd be rude.
Click to expand...
It is!
But you gotta do it if you wanna get anywhere.

Just make silly corny non-intrusive jokes, at least it's not crap like 'isn't the weather great today!'

DevilWillcry said:
What type of joke would reveal that information?
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Bad example: "Won't your boyfriend be jealous if I eat your pussy?"
DON'T USE THAT

You can think of other more appropriate scenarios to ask something similar.
And of course, wait til you know her better and you're about to eat lunch together or something.
 
DevilWillcry said:
It's actually college.
Click to expand...

ok then. First, facebook, now. Second, try to engage in more extracuricullars, particularly ones she might be in. Your primary goal is simply to talk to her enough times to be remembered positively. Just talk to her above all else, no reason not to

P.S. Facebook
 
DevilWillcry said:
Yeah, I was thinking I just need to approach her and talk to her for a few weeks (or months) before asking her out. If I can just approach her the first time and effectively communicate my personality to her, I think I'll have an idea of how compatible we are. It will probably still take a few weeks of talking (if she's interested). I don't wanna be too forward.
Click to expand...
Few weeks or months? This will send you on a path straight to an LJBF scenario. It's harder to move from a friend thing to a sexual/dating thing than just going straight from nothing to declaring interest in her in a "more than friends" kinda way. Trust me.
 
DevilWillcry said:
Yeah, I was thinking I just need to approach her and talk to her for a few weeks (or months) before asking her out. If I can just approach her the first time and effectively communicate my personality to her, I think I'll have an idea of how compatible we are. It will probably still take a few weeks of talking (if she's interested). I don't wanna be too forward.
Click to expand...
Weeks/months?!
What the shit is this?!

If you haven't asked her out within a week (fortnight at the latest), you're doomed to be just a "friend" and nothing more.
 
Ah yes, since you are in the same class you have a great advantage. Talking about class is a great form of small talk
 
grandjedi6 said:
Ah yes, since you are in the same class you have a great advantage. Talking about class is a great form of small talk
Click to expand...
Yeah, you can make her laugh by making jokes about the lecturer.
But seriously, setup a study session, it'll give you more chances to see her and start chatting about non class stuff
 
Furoba said:
Go and sit next or near her?
Instead of worrying too much and putting pressure on yourself by asking her out, you could just try talking to her, which will also make clear you take an interest in her.

Don't worry either about 'making a good first impression' and all that (which will only work against you, not for you), just be yourself and have some confidence. Asking her out could be a little bit intimidating if you are a complete stranger. Tact!
Click to expand...
Forgive me if I'm over thinking things, but won't she be curious as to why I chose to sit next to her that day? What do I tell her if she asks why I am sitting with her? Should I make a joke or something?
 
DevilWillcry said:
What type of joke would reveal that information?
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Knock knock.

But seriously, you're doomed. You're overthinking and putting too much pressure on yourself to "perform", instead of just talking to her to see if you even get along.
 
DevilWillcry said:
Forgive me if I'm over thinking things, but won't she be curious as to why I chose to sit next to her that day? What do I tell her if she asks why I am sitting with her? Should I make a joke or something?
Click to expand...

Why would she ask you? She would never ask you, ever
 
DevilWillcry said:
Forgive me if I'm over thinking things, but won't she be curious as to why I chose to sit next to her that day? What do I tell her if she asks why I am sitting with her? Should I make a joke or something?
Click to expand...
Say the other side of the class stinks and is killing your grades.

But I would suggest, don't sit next to her til you've made some sort of smalltalk (sat behind her a row or something, made a small joke or two about something silly about the class)
 
Shaneus said:
Few weeks or months? This will send you on a path straight to an LJBF scenario. It's harder to move from a friend thing to a sexual/dating thing than just going straight from nothing to declaring interest in her in a "more than friends" kinda way. Trust me.
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Ok, so one week like Wii said then I have to ask her out (if we're compatible enough) otherwise I'm in friend territory. Got it.
 
Knox said:
Knock knock.

But seriously, you're doomed. You're overthinking and putting too much pressure on yourself to "perform", instead of just talking to her to see if you even get along.
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This, I have the exact same problem. If only it was as easy as flipping a switch in your mind.
 
DevilWillcry said:
Ok, so one week like Wii said then I have to ask her out (if we're compatible enough) otherwise I'm in friend territory. Got it.
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'One week' is not a rule, it's a recommendation :P
'Two weeks' is a rule though, but there are exceptions...

And you start counting from the time you start talking to her.
 
Wii said:
Say the other side of the class stinks and is killing your grades.

But I would suggest, don't sit next to her til you've made some sort of smalltalk (sat behind her a row or something, made a small joke or two about something silly about the class)
Click to expand...
I'll try to sit somewhere near her where I can make small talk with her.
 
DevilWillcry said:
Yeah, I was thinking I just need to approach her and talk to her for a few weeks (or months) before asking her out. If I can just approach her the first time and effectively communicate my personality to her, I think I'll have an idea of how compatible we are. It will probably still take a few weeks of talking (if she's interested). I don't wanna be too forward.
Click to expand...
Good luck getting friendszoned.

edit; I should really refresh before I hit the reply button. Anywaayy, I just realized my drunk ass told a girl 'too bad I don't do pickup lines' last week. Too bad she was kinda stuck-up and saw it coming from a mile away. Still got some cute smalltalk out of it though.
 
Your thinking too much. You do not need a routine or plan of any sort, procrastination always leads to over doing.

If you want to talk to her, just go talk to her. Make a general funny comment to everyone around you, if she pays attention, perpetuate it.
 
DevilWillcry said:
Ok, so one week like Wii said then I have to ask her out (if we're compatible enough) otherwise I'm in friend territory. Got it.
Click to expand...

Things like these aren't that time bound IMO. Really, don't break a sweat if it takes you longer than a week. What's main is to make contact and to create opportunities to talk with just her.
 
DevilWillcry said:
Forgive me if I'm over thinking things, but won't she be curious as to why I chose to sit next to her that day? What do I tell her if she asks why I am sitting with her? Should I make a joke or something?
Click to expand...

What the hell. I'm bailing out.
 
First, you should just chill, you seem really worked up. Here's what you do, find something class-related and mention it, just to find out more about her. Ultimately you'll have to work up the courage to ask more relationship-wise questions, like if she has a boyfriend, that's the worst part because women are more adept at this and she can deny you right there. Then, if you get past the whole, yaknow, actually talking her part, I think you'll be good. And lastly, stop stalking her, haha, she'll catch on to that rather quickly.
 
just ask if you can copy her homework ? lol ok i'm kidding, just ask her about school work, i'm pretty sure she's helpful
 
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