Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.

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I have suffered from clinical depression for some years. I've attempted to use anti-depressants but I suffer scary side effects like Urinary retention, which always scares me enough that I refuse to take them anymore. I've tried multiple types, Zoloft being the latest.

Eh, I tend to think I have it under control anyway. It isn't really crushing depression as it is perpetual melancholy.
 
ok, I asked. I just hope people are nice enough to help me.

If it doesn't work out, don't give up. Maybe PM a few of the top posters directly and ask them that way. You're more likely to get a response from someone who actually knows their stuff, and you won't get drowned out in the conversation.
 
How do I stop getting slight panic attacks when I make plans with someone and text them about the meet-up and they don't text back? It happens a lot and there's usually a reason but I always end up panicking and thinking that they're mad at me or something.

I used to suffer from this exact same thing when I was younger. It took a while, but with a little confidence boost I overcame. I used to think that they were ignoring me or that I was a bore to them or even not worth hanging out with. It's not the case sometimes because people just end up getting busy. Try to see it from their perspective. They may be preoccupied with day to day activities. They're not angry at you unless you gave them a good reason to be. If it's a girl, at worst case scenario she may be disinterested, but you can't let yourself be discouraged over one person. If I had a dime for every time I got rejected I'd be Warren Buffett. I usually text someone, "hey are you still up for tonight?", and if they don't reply for an hour or two I'll give them a call since you may have to give them a slight push. During that hour or two try to keep your mind preoccupied with things. Get busy somehow and try to avoid staring at the clock every so often otherwise time will seem to go alot slower and you may get anxious. If they don't reply after that then I just scrap the plans.

To this day, I've still had friends and girls give me the cold shoulder when it comes to making plans. Stings worse when they're good friends and as cliche as it may sound, you shouldn't give anyone the time of day if you can't make time for you. If they can't even give you the common courtesy of a "sorry I can't make it, can we reschedule?" then they're not worth your trouble.

I still get small anxiety attacks when I don't hear back from a love interest in more than a day though. Kinda what my above problem has been about. It's just irrational insecurity on my part though that I need to work on.
 
I used to suffer from this exact same thing when I was younger. It took a while, but with a little confidence boost I overcame. I used to think that they were ignoring me or that I was a bore to them or even not worth hanging out with. It's not the case sometimes because people just end up getting busy. Try to see it from their perspective. They may be preoccupied with day to day activities. They're not angry at you unless you gave them a good reason to be. If it's a girl, at worst case scenario she may be disinterested, but you can't let yourself be discouraged over one person. If I had a dime for every time I got rejected I'd be Warren Buffett. I usually text someone, "hey are you still up for tonight?", and if they don't reply for an hour or two I'll give them a call since you may have to give them a slight push. During that hour or two try to keep your mind preoccupied with things. Get busy somehow and try to avoid staring at the clock every so often otherwise time will seem to go alot slower and you may get anxious. If they don't reply after that then I just scrap the plans.

To this day, I've still had friends and girls give me the cold shoulder when it comes to making plans. Stings worse when they're good friends and as cliche as it may sound, you shouldn't give anyone the time of day if you can't make time for you. If they can't even give you the common courtesy of a "sorry I can't make it, can we reschedule?" then they're not worth your trouble.

I still get small anxiety attacks when I don't hear back from a love interest in more than a day though. Kinda what my above problem has been about. It's just irrational insecurity on my part though that I need to work on.


I do try to see it from their perspective but then I start thinking if they'd behave any differently if it was one of their other friends texting them and that they aren't putting any effort into texting me back because I'm disposable or something.
 
Ok, there are some posts who wanted me to be more specific on the topic about anime. I really haven't thought about it. However, I do want to write about art styles.
 
Oh god. What a day. I had such horrible, horrible anxiety. It took me forever to even remotely calm down. I never used to be this way until the past year. I've been so good for so long. It felt like the depression was just a period in my life, that I had worked through and I might be able to go off the medication. But now I'm not so sure and I just feel disappointed in myself, however irrational that sounds.
 
I'm sorry for randomly posting in this topic but:

I'm tired of being sick
I'm tired of feeling like a burden
I'm tired of being a bother
I'm tired of being trash
I'm tired of seizures
I'm tired of being sick
I'm tired of taking 14 different meds a day
I'm tired of not sleeping
I'm tired of the only thing I have to do is play videogames and surf the net
I'm tired of having a leg that doesn't work and is completely numb
I'm tired of not being able to drive and begging ppl to take me places
I'm tired so so tired

This is stupid I know, but goddamn I had to say something somewhere
I feel like doing something which I know is extremely stupid but I can't take much more...
 
I'm sorry for randomly posting in this topic but:

I'm tired of being sick
I'm tired of feeling like a burden
I'm tired of being a bother
I'm tired of being trash
I'm tired of seizures
I'm tired of being sick
I'm tired of taking 14 different meds a day
I'm tired of not sleeping
I'm tired of the only thing I have to do is play videogames and surf the net
I'm tired of having a leg that doesn't work and is completely numb
I'm tired of not being able to drive and begging ppl to take me places
I'm tired so so tired

This is stupid I know, but goddamn I had to say something somewhere
I feel like doing something which I know is extremely stupid but I can't take much more...

Random posts are fine and nothing is stupid about what you said. We all suffer, you should come in as much as you want. We have a lot more in common than you think.
 
Anyone else get to the stage where you stop being upset and sad and you just become tired? I'm not in tears or anything. I'm just tired.
 
Anyone else get to the stage where you stop being upset and sad and you just become tired? I'm not in tears or anything. I'm just tired.

Yeah, I've been there and it's not a good place to be. I'm not sure if you are at the point were you're completely apathetic about life, if so get help.

I hit that point and found myself looking to end it because maybe I would feel something again even for the briefest of moments. I was fortunate enough to have a lucid moment because I couldn't find my weapon and at that point called for help. That was about a year ago and I can say I feel better now, but I look back and it still scares the hell out of me.
 
Anyone else get to the stage where you stop being upset and sad and you just become tired? I'm not in tears or anything. I'm just tired.

That happens when I shed a lot of tears, because of anxiety, as I lay on bed. When that happens, I randomly sleep. I like sleeping because it takes that feeling away.
 
I tried EMDR for the first time last week. We're using it on something that isn't trauma related, so I don't know how it'll work. I'm really down on therapy at the moment. I'm meeting with my therapist twice a week, but my sessions are so all over the place that I feel like I'm not making progress. I'm such a mess right now that there are so many things I think need to be worked out that I'm completely overwhelmed by how fucked up I feel.

so who else wanted to hang themself in their closet after watching this TED video in that other thread: http://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20

I know I did.

It's just a TED talk. I don't know why people seem to want to accept them as gospel. I didn't watch it as I really can't stand TED talks, but please don't let it get to you. That person doesn't know you, your life, or what you're capable of. Don't give it another thought.
 
Yeah, I've been there and it's not a good place to be. I'm not sure if you are at the point were you're completely apathetic about life, if so get help.

I hit that point and found myself looking to end it because maybe I would feel something again even for the briefest of moments. I was fortunate enough to have a lucid moment because I couldn't find my weapon and at that point called for help. That was about a year ago and I can say I feel better now, but I look back and it still scares the hell out of me.

Usually happens after some sort of disappointment. Instead of being upset or mad, I just get tired.
 
Anyone else get to the stage where you stop being upset and sad and you just become tired? I'm not in tears or anything. I'm just tired.
Yeah I've been there for about two weeks. I'm tired of getting upset over stupid shit, so I just stopped caring instead. I don't really give a shit about getting better or trying to get shit done, I'm done with getting angry at myself for not being able to get shit done. The good part is that I cry less, the downside is that it's really hard to make progress when you don't care about life.

I'm just trying to spend my time doing menial stuff like gaming, watching shows, etc. to take my mind off of everything.
 
I spent a week on an inpatient unit several years back. Collete and I traded our stories way back when. We had very different experiences. To shorten one of my longest posts ever (which is saying something!), I had a very positive experience.

I think a very important thing to note is that you have to be very sick to end up in inpatient care these days. If you go to get medical help and you're not in complete crisis, the first step is not going to be to admit you to the hospital.

I know it's scary to go get help, or just to admit that you might need help, but there's just no reason to go on suffering when there is help out there. I don't know your family; I can't help you there. I was scared to tell my family that I thought I needed to see a doctor. This is despite the fact that they have always been extremely supportive and almost every member of my extended family suffers from depression.

I can only hope that your family would be supportive if you told them you wanted to go get more help. The fact of the matter is they probably already know you're depressed. We all think we hide it way better than we do. What they think you should do about it is another matter. We can talk more about that if you'd like.

If you're in school, you can usually get mental health help through your school, without involving your family at all.

If you're at the point where you're in this thread, saying you need help, and you've obviously already said it to yourself, I'd say it's time to go talk to somebody. There's no reason to go on suffering when there are ways to get better.

There are plenty of people to talk to in this thread, including me, if you want to talk via PM or continue posting in the thread.

My schools mental health services have already told me that I should get help elsewhere because all they can do is counseling. I know that it is hard to be committed but I know that if I am 100% honest then would be for a minimum of 72 hours. I want help but I don't want to lose my freedom and I feel that if I don't tell the whole truth then they cant truly help me. I kinda omitted some details when I talked to the school counselor and I feel bad about that.

I am under my mother insurance and there is no way I can seek help without her knowing. My mom is very controlling and often take advantage of others and I dont trust her. When my brother was committed she took steps to have him declared incompetent( It fell thru). There was some genuine love there but it often came down to power. I know that can't trust my family when it come down to power or money. My brother place in the family changed when he was committed from the "smart guy" to the "black sheep".

I want to move out and then seek help but I don't make enough to do so. I just feel so lost because I can see the solution but I am too scared to go thru with it .
 
Why is psychotherapy so fucking expensive even with insurance? Might as well not even be covered at all. I can't afford this shit.
 
Why is psychotherapy so fucking expensive even with insurance? Might as well not even be covered at all. I can't afford this shit.

That is why I dislike The ACA .it is helpful but it doesn't go far enough to reduce medical cost in the us. Single payer was the right way to go but America is too scared of the idea. Blame the AMA for stopping healthcare reform for the past 100 years . that and doctors are on average 250,000$ in debt after they graduate .
 
Been sleeping so much lately and I don't know why. I go to take a quick hour nap and wake up 14 hours later. Missed dinner two days in a row because of these naps. (napped from 4pm to 6am)
 
i have been suffering from depression for a few years on and off i have never seen a therapist or anything like that and i thought i kicked depression last year but nope. its back and man i dont know what to do. its been months and its getting wrose my grades are suffering adn i just dont give a damn about anything. its like all shit in my life has just built up into this and im angry but i dont even want to continue on anymore. i dont want help just vent
 
I tell ya i just have a complete inability to connect with people. Makes it impossible to meet anyone. Im pretty certain ill be killing myself in the next few years. Once this current job ends, if it does, i dont really have the willpower or energy to try at another. I basically just worked for most of my 20s. I dont even know why im working. Its pointless.
 
I tell ya i just have a complete inability to connect with people. Makes it impossible to meet anyone. Im pretty certain ill be killing myself in the next few years. Once this current job ends, if it does, i dont really have the willpower or energy to try at another. I basically just worked for most of my 20s. I dont even know why im working. Its pointless.

I know what you mean. I usually start with an open ended question so that I learn something about the other person. If it's something that I'm knowledgeable about I'll try to hold a conversation about that for a bit. If it's something I know nothing about then I'll ask more about it and hope that it's something that they're interested enough in to tell me about. If you keep that up you'll find at least one topic that you can speak to them about.
 
I over hear students in my class who finished the homework that I'm unable to finish for C programming. I'm so impressed and jealous that they finished the problems I've been working a lot on. Thanks to Notrollious for helping me, but I'm so mad that everyone finished the problems I've been having a hard time doing. Except one where I was about to ask Notrollious help on which was the infinite series code. And students in my class didn't finish that problem.

It's so frustrating that I can't figure out anything or think outside of the box.
 
I over hear students in my class who finished the homework that I'm unable to finish for C programming. I'm so impressed and jealous that they finished the problems I've been working a lot on. Thanks to Notrollious for helping me, but I'm so mad that everyone finished the problems I've been having a hard time doing. Except one where I was about to ask Notrollious help on which was the infinite series code. And students in my class didn't finish that problem.

It's so frustrating that I can't figure out anything or think outside of the box.

Try your best not to compare yourself with others. You really need to focus on your progress and be happy about it.
 
I over hear students in my class who finished the homework that I'm unable to finish for C programming. I'm so impressed and jealous that they finished the problems I've been working a lot on. Thanks to Notrollious for helping me, but I'm so mad that everyone finished the problems I've been having a hard time doing. Except one where I was about to ask Notrollious help on which was the infinite series code. And students in my class didn't finish that problem.

It's so frustrating that I can't figure out anything or think outside of the box.

I could possibly help you out if you have any questions, already been through the C/C++ grinder.
 
I failed my drive test today and feel really shitty. It's annoying because I have to pay again, and I have already had to pay so many expenses this year and plus, I need my license asap for university in a couple of months. Also, I feel like I am going to do worse next test, as I am going to be so self-conscious and nervous that I'll do a stupid mistake. I have put off getting my license for a number of years compared to my friends and this just makes me feel stupid and incompetent.
 
Try your best not to compare yourself with others. You really need to focus on your progress and be happy about it.

My friend said that to me. I try not to, but I have a habit of going back to that thought. It's hard to focus because of stress, frustration, and depression. I really want to get rid of them.

Alchemy said:
I could possibly help you out if you have any questions, already been through the C/C++ grinder.

Thank you, Alchemy. Now I have you and Notrollious to ask for help in C.
 
Anyone else get to the stage where you stop being upset and sad and you just become tired? I'm not in tears or anything. I'm just tired.

yup I'm going through this right now. Been going on since the new year started, longest bout of depression and I haven't been able to "climb out of the hole" yet.
 
I over hear students in my class who finished the homework that I'm unable to finish for C programming. I'm so impressed and jealous that they finished the problems I've been working a lot on. Thanks to Notrollious for helping me, but I'm so mad that everyone finished the problems I've been having a hard time doing. Except one where I was about to ask Notrollious help on which was the infinite series code. And students in my class didn't finish that problem.

It's so frustrating that I can't figure out anything or think outside of the box.

You'll get a LOT better if you keep at it. When I started programming a few years ago I had no idea what I was doing and was sure that I'd never figure it out. You'll be amazed in a few years about the little things that used to give you trouble. It's just a different way of thinking (for most people, some people are very good at it naturally). I'm pretty good at C but I don't have much knowledge about C++. Feel free to PM me or post in the programming help thread if you need it. I try not to give out answers (for the inquirer's sake) but can help a lot with technical/theoretical questions .
 
You'll get a LOT better if you keep at it. When I started programming a few years ago I had no idea what I was doing and was sure that I'd never figure it out. You'll be amazed in a few years about the little things that used to give you trouble. It's just a different way of thinking (for most people, some people are very good at it naturally). I'm pretty good at C but I don't have much knowledge about C++. Feel free to PM me or post in the programming help thread if you need it. I try not to give out answers (for the inquirer's sake) but can help a lot with technical/theoretical questions .

Thanks. I really need all the help I could get. I don't think my college has any tutors who knows C.
 
I hate feeling this way, it's like I have no control over my body and/or mind. I want to do things but every fiber of my body is against it, and that's a fight I lose more often than not.
 
I been having some weird dreams lately . In these dreams I have a girlfriend or significant other . this is kinda nice because I am 25 years old and I never been on a date(save for the prom). In the dream I see myself and this other person in what seems like a happy relationship but then it switches to my inner voice and I see that that I am just using them . In the dream I say something to the effect that I am using them for self esteem , sex ,money, or image . The significant other 'in the dream is never the same either . sometime she is black or Asian, fat or skinny , and sometime it is a guy. I am not so sure that I am 100% straight but that still was kinda left field for me .I usually don't think much of dreams but I think that it is a sign that my lack of a love life could mean that I could enter a relationship for the wrong reasons . that ted talk just confirmed what the voice in my head has been saying for years . if it don't stop lollygagging and start dating then I will be alone forever. I want to date but I am just so scared of being rejected . I am just unhappy with myself and How I have turned out .
 
Okay, I went to my instructor's office for help on finding a central idea for a research paper on anime. I'm glad and thankful that I have the best English teacher because she's very helpful and nice to me. She's very patient even though my verbal communication sucks. I always want to explain something but it comes out the wrong way. Also, I couldn't find the words to explain what I mean by this or by that.

Can I PM someone to read my central idea? I don't feel like sharing it because of spoilers.
 
Hey guys. I know I'm not a frequent poster around here, so maybe this doesn't mean much, but I just wanted to come in and say that I care about you all and I hope you overcome whatever it is you are going through. This is a really great community. <3
 
Wednesday again means another painting....Shit's been awful again this week...but bleh...anyways another painting:

tumblr_n2cphsUyQw1sjx7hbo1_1280.jpg

Kazegami

Now normally Kazegami doesn’t have long flowing hair as I painted here, but I thought it would look nice to have him as a majestic horse…Just imagine this is him with a hair straighter!

As to those who don’t know, this horse is from a game called Okami in which majority of the game is drawn with an ink style hence the heavy black outlines. Enjoy.
 
Wednesday again means another painting....Shit's been awful again this week...but bleh...anyways another painting:



Kazegami

Now normally Kazegami doesn’t have long flowing hair as I painted here, but I thought it would look nice to have him as a majestic horse…Just imagine this is him with a hair straighter!

As to those who don’t know, this horse is from a game called Okami in which majority of the game is drawn with an ink style hence the heavy black outlines. Enjoy.

I really need to play Okami some day. :O
 
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