• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

LGBThread |OT4| We're (still) Here! We're (still) Queer!

Status
Not open for further replies.
H

Haly

One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
Sounds like he is pretty deep in texting culture, where emoji serve as punctuation.

(Hit it)
 
V

Vitanimus

Member
It's not like I don't see the signs mostly, it's more knowing if/when I should act on them. I dunno if I even like this person in the same way or if it's just the attention or the idea that it COULD happen and stuff. Stuff like this always makes me nervous.
 
V

Vazra

irresponsible vagina leak
Vitanimus said:
It's not like I don't see the signs mostly, it's more knowing if/when I should act on them. I dunno if I even like this person in the same way or if it's just the attention or the idea that it COULD happen and stuff. Stuff like this always makes me nervous.
Click to expand...

Hmmmm perhaps see how things keep developing. If you are not sure yourself you shouldn't think too much about it until it gets more obvious.
 
U

umop_3pisdn

Member
Vitanimus said:
It's not like I don't see the signs mostly, it's more knowing if/when I should act on them. I dunno if I even like this person in the same way or if it's just the attention or the idea that it COULD happen and stuff. Stuff like this always makes me nervous.
Click to expand...

I find if I "don't know", that's actually a kind of strong no. It generally means that I'm trying to be agreeable or conjure some kind of chemistry that isn't really there just by evaluating the 'possibility' of the situation.
 
A

Aarglefarg

Member
Regardless of the specifics of the situation, the gif is a good illustration of biphobia. Homophobia too, but assumptions 'oh he's off limits' 'all the good men are 'gay' based on mandancing.
 
V

Vitanimus

Member
umop_3pisdn said:
I find if I "don't know", that's actually a kind of strong no. It generally means that I'm trying to be agreeable or conjure some kind of chemistry that isn't really there just by evaluating the 'possibility' of the situation.
Click to expand...

I think I just feel a bit silly being overly nervous over nothing that's materialized. Oh well! Thanks guys. I'll just let it play out.
 
C

Caladrius

Member
umop_3pisdn said:
It's weird because phrasing it that way sort of makes it seem like I made a conscious decision at some point, but I didn't and it's how it has always been, even when I was super naive. But back then it was a bit more of a "I like you, so I'm going to avoid you and act coldly towards you" sort of thing, then once I became a little more aware the aloofness carried over to being 'friends' with those people. Like I can be friendly, but why on earth would I act like I want to be friends? :p It takes too much guile, I'm great at diplomacy and playing nice, but I'd consider myself extremely guileless, and the people I like spending time with are those I don't have to wear as much of a mask around. So in a way 'self-preservation' as it is often presented isn't really much part of the decision, so much as me not enjoying the company because I'm the only one aware that there's some degree of pretense and I hate having to be responsible for that, or being aware of what I'd consider artifice in general. I think a part of me unconsciously questions the value of a friendship that's on such uneven footing.

Attraction on its own isn't hard to deal with, I'll have sexual thoughts about anyone remotely sexy, my impulses in that area aren't particularly discriminating. Being friends with those people generally isn't a challenge, sometimes you catch your animal brain checking them out before your conscious awareness goes "this is weird" and you stop. No big deal really. It's only when you have a harder time stopping there because there's more to it than just a superficial attraction that it becomes hard, I think.

I don't really have any suggestions to be honest, I find I'm capable of maintaining like two real friendships at once and they're always strong confidants. Everyone else usually has a quality of impermanence of moving in and out of my life with no real form or structure.
Click to expand...

So your priority is more to be straightforward and unambiguously accepted without having to filter your behavior extensively?

I like it.

I wish I could be a bit more similar, though my situation has always forced me to compromise. I get at most two years to keep friends, so I usually have to put on faces (at worst making myself into a blank slate to be more palatable to the other person or leaving critical details about my cultural identity out) and act more confident than I actually am to get anywhere quickly. With my sexuality and being a bit of a cold social outcast in private, I usually project a far different person than I actually am.

It's probably fitting that most of my friendships tend to be pretty shallow because people know very little about the "real" me, with what I want to do and how I want to act around people having virtually nothing in common with what I force myself to in order to remain easily relatable. (well, being afraid to get attached is a huge thing too, but still.)

I think the fact that my friend is one of the very few (by which I mean 3 across my entire life, including family) people I don't need to filter myself very much to probably does not help the problem.

Haly said:
DDDDDDDDDDD
Click to expand...

I don't think those tits could fit in the doorway.
 
R

Replicant

Member
Mumei said:
TSmXMu2.gif
Click to expand...

LOOOOOOOOL. Where is this from and did she ask her friend to tape it for her?
 
S

sophora

Member
My BF and I are taking a break for a while. Stuff has been bothering him lately, more of how different we are from each other personality wise I guess. He says I'm not driven enough and socially awkward, which yeah it's true. He is finishing up school this year and has a job lined up from his relative's connections at work. Me on the other hand, I'm just floundering and having bouts of depression, not doing anything. It's not hard to see why he would want to take a break. I know I became too comfortable with him always being there for me. It hurts so much though, the thought of him not being there.

Despite that I've managed to get into getting back into school for my BA with help from friends/family, keeping me from falling too hard when I have my episodes of sadness. I need to build my own life together so I can go out and see the world, have fun and not worry anyone. I know I can take care of myself. Still...this sucks a lot.

My resolve is back. Partly thanks to him...he still talks to me and cheers me on. Seems like he's looking to date around though while we are on a break. Hurts a lot but...I just need to focus on getting my shit together I guess...bleh. He assured me with last night's conversation sending me this;

"I want to go places, ya know. I want to have nice things. and i want him to be able to have the same. if he wants something I want him to be successful enough to be able to get it. not sitting at home, feeling bad for himself. i want him to go grab it ya know."

"I know. I couldnt sleep last night so I stayed up a bit and we talked about it. I'm not giving up, just catching my breath, regaining perspective. I could never just up and disappear, we will always be close no matter what, theres just too much there, to ever drift apart like that. we both have way too much history, its more like...well..i been slacking myself and not being as appreciative of his company and love as I should be, and I need some time to let it sink in. and as crude as it sounds, im hoping itll push him into pursuing life goals"

which was from an earlier conversation he had with a good friend of him and I that he goes to for advice. I was melancholy telling him that I was confiding in my friends/family for support about us taking a break and he sent me that. It's all so confusing...

I am parts sad and gleefully happy...I just know I have to get my own life together first so I can have much more fun in the future...
 
F

Faith

Member
I love YouTube. I'm always ending up somewhere totally unexpected. I was watching game videos and somewhere this video showed up as a suggestion. Besides that he is fucking hot as a girl I wondered how they hide their balls and stuff. I came to this tutorial video and out of curiosity I made one myself out of old boxers (upper band) and old socks. And I was so amazed how good this actually works lol. Tried it on with boxers covered and it looked like I have a vagina. It was also way more comfortable than expected.

Well, does that make me weird?
 
Jinfash

Jinfash

needs 2 extra inches
4OBWHB6.gif


As someone who doesn't post in this thread frequently, nor participate in pop-GAF, it's becoming increasingly difficult to parse the latest lingo. My lexicon needs some serious updating. Are there any resources or crash courses I can take? Tired of acting...

HhTef.gif


(Just turned 30 a few days ago and I'm already feeling crotchety)
 
U

User 73706

Banned
Econ sucks. Knicks suck.

Is anyone else reading that "have you ever measured" thread in off-topic? I always love when they come around because just about everyone on GAF's an adonis with a 36" dick.

Did someone say LGBThread measuring time?
 
H

Haly

One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
I wonder how much of those threads are people lying through their teeth and how much is bias, since, it makes sense that you wouldn't self-report unless you had something to show off.

It's probably both, tbh.
 
H

Henchmen21

Banned
Jinfash said:
4OBWHB6.gif


As someone who doesn't post in this thread frequently, nor participate in pop-GAF, it's becoming increasingly difficult to parse the latest lingo. My lexicon needs some serious updating. Are there any resources or crash courses I can take? Tired of acting...

HhTef.gif


(Just turned 30 a few days ago and I'm already feeling crotchety)
Click to expand...

Welcome to the club.

about to hit 34 in a few months.

Sub-Zero at a Starbucks said:
Econ sucks. Knicks suck.

Is anyone else reading that "have you ever measured" thread in off-topic? I always love when they come around because just about everyone on GAF's an adonis with a 36" dick.

Did someone say LGBThread measuring time?
Click to expand...

Only 36in? Thought it'd be bigger.
 
Jinfash

Jinfash

needs 2 extra inches
I've actually had this conversation recently. As a late bloomer most of my friends are straight people. The only gay people I know are people I'm currently dating, exes, and their respective friends (whom I lose contact with after break-ups). It never really bothered me until now, as I don't think it's generally healthy to lose access to gay circles and social events the minute I'm single.

The other issue I need to work on is code-switching. I need to tone it down. About time I stick to one mode of conduct.
 
T

The Abominable Snowman

Member
Jinfash said:
I've actually had this conversation recently. As a late bloomer most of my friends are straight people. The only gay people I know are people I'm currently dating, exes, and their respective friends (whom I lose contact with after break-ups). It never really bothered me until now, as I don't think it's generally healthy to lose access to gay circles and social events the minute I'm single.
Click to expand...

It isn't healthy, because quite recently I've started google searching my personal problems instead of talking through them with someone who would understand :/

I literally just stopped myself and said "What the fuck am I doing?"
 
Jinfash

Jinfash

needs 2 extra inches
The Abominable Snowman said:
It isn't healthy, because quite recently I've started google searching my personal problems instead of talking through them with someone who would understand :/
Click to expand...
Heh, I only vent to my therapist these days, but the situation isn't far off. Sometimes it isn't about finding the solution as much as being in the presence of people who can express genuine empathy and understanding. Having that could foster my sense of belonging... Since as you can guess, is sorely lacking.
 
M

mantidor

Member
I have only one gay friend, at most, I would consider the rest of my social gay circle aquaintances.

It's probably not a good thing.
 
R

Rayis

Member
Having only straight guys as friends is fun but ultimately too alienating, they try too hard to be macho and one up each other and I just can't relate to that.

Having only straight girls as friends is also fun but in a different way, they are MUCH more open than men and you can form deeper connections with them more easily, however, I'd miss the eye candy too much (I'm such a shallow whore)

having gay friends is kinda like the best of both worlds cuz you get the eye candy with the openness of girls

don't take this too serious, I'm just stereotyping based on personal experiences

/foreveralone.jpg
 
R

RM8

Member
Rayis said:
Having only straight guys as friends is fun but ultimately too alienating, they try too hard to be macho and one up each other and I just can't relate to that.

Having only straight girls as friends is also fun but in a different way, they are MUCH more open than men and you can form deeper connections with them more easily, however, I'd miss the eye candy too much (I'm such a shallow whore)

having gay friends is kinda like the best of both worlds cuz you get the eye candy with the openness of girls

don't take this too serious, I'm just stereotyping

/foreveralone.jpg
Click to expand...
Lol, I completely disagree. Guys are uncomplicated, fun, silly, supportive, brother-like. Girls are actually less open to some stuff, there are things you really can't talk about with female friends, and you can't make harsh-ish jokes on them without them getting genuinely furious and stuff :p In my case, I have never really bonded with female friends as I do with male friends. YMMV indeed.

Also it's far less likely to have female friends who are gamers. Male friends can beat you at KOF :p
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Witcher 4 Dev talks about Ciri fan reaction: "Ciri is called a witcher in books", "we're not suddenly making up stuff just because we want to", etc
News Game Dev 2 3 4
177
10K
Gonzito replied
Neil Druckmann Says He Never Plans for Sequels: ‘That Requires a Level of Confidence I Don’t Have’
Opinion Game Dev
34
2K
Fbh replied
Are gamers more negative, pickier, and more entitled than they used to be?
2 3 4
170
6K
Da1337Vinci replied
A Concord (beta) review from the biggest Live Service fanboy known to man...
2 3
107
10K
Saturn Dragon replied
Shawn Layden on PS games releasing on Xbox: "I don't know what the business imperative would be to do that"
37
3K
cormack12 replied
Top Bottom