Does finding the act of gay sex repulsive, make you prejudiced?

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This is a weird one for me, I'm a fairly laid back guy and I don't mind lesbian porn but I feel uncomfortable at the idea of watching two or more dudes getting it on with each other.

On the other hand I can adknowledge that a guy such as Ryan Gosling is handsome but I'm in no way sexually attracted to him or any other man, I just feel comfortable enough that I can agree with someone if they say "Oh hey XXX is looking great" etc.

Does that make me prejudiced? I hope not as I'm very supportive of GLBT rights and I have a few gay friends.
It doesn't make you prejudiced. You like lesbian porn because it's girls, why would you like gay male porn if you're straight? That's pretty normal. Although plenty of people like porn that they wouldn't want to participate in real life, it's a fantasy - so maybe some straight guys out there like gay porn who knows!

Thinking "urgh! That's disgusting, don't even talk to me about that shit EVER!" is when you've got problems.



In my case, although I know you're asking in general, I just think we men are fucking hideous on a plain old aesthetic level.
Now this type of thinking I don't get (for either sex). What does it say about your opinions of the girls you date - that they are attracted to disgusting hideous things, and why are they? It's a strange thought process to me.
 
It doesn't make you prejudiced. You like lesbian porn because it's girls, why would you like gay male porn if you're straight? That's pretty normal. Although plenty of people like porn that they wouldn't want to participate in real life, it's a fantasy - so maybe some straight guys out there like gay porn who knows!

Thinking "urgh! That's disgusting, don't even talk to me about that shit EVER!" is when you've got problems.

Yeah I certainly don't think that it's disgusting or anything like that, if for whatever reason I saw some dudes doing it i'd be uncomfortable and I'd switch it off or walk out depending on the situation.
 

ICKE

Banned
I have to say that I'm only tolerant of gay males, because the act of them kissing in public makes me uncomfortable - acceptance would probably mean something more but I just can't stop myself from having a negative reaction. Obviously I will hide it as to not cause emotional distress.
 

Frodo

Member
There are miles of difference between recognising that other people will find Brad Pitt attractive and actually being attracted to Brad Pitt. Has little to do with fragile masculinity, but rather with not being attracted to men.

Did you read what I wrote?

So, in theory, we all know what constitutes a good-looking male and what constitutes a beautiful female. You have all the right on earth to not be attracted to one of them or even both, but I'm sure you DO know how to differentiate from a conventionally good-looking or attractive person from a not so good-looking one, regardless of their gender

I'm taking about some posts in this very thread that approached the subject saying they think all men are ugly, or whatever, thus making every single sexual act in between two men repulsive. I'm talking about the notion that even acknowledging a man's look is pleasant to the eyes is seen as a thing men shouldn't do, and disputing that notion. I thought I was clear enough differentiating in between acknowledging the beauty in a male and being physically attracted to it. This is something women don't have any issues about. They all recognise the beauty in other women and are not necessarily sexually attracted by it. It is only men that struggle with that, and try to pretend they think all men are ugly or vicious looking gorillas or that the notion of recognizing beauty in a male body is repulsive somehow. Mostly because they want to protect their masculinity and avoid the chance to be mistaken by a gay man because of that.
 

Seanspeed

Banned
True, but changing someones opinion once formed is almost impossible. It's more important to show other people the respect they deserve.
Its not impossible, nor is it 'almost' impossible when dealing with people open to reason, who may not be in extreme abundance, but they do exist in fair enough numbers to not rule out this approach and I imagine their numbers are growing all the time.

And of course its important to respect people, but you do not have to respect every view/opinion a person has. There, again, is an important distinction people often fail to make. Lots of people believe lots of prejudiced, ignorant or inaccurate things in their life with topics ranging from the mundane('what's the best toothbrush?') to extremely important human rights issues('is homosexuality a choice?'). Doesn't mean we shouldn't try and spread truth, critical thinking and tolerance wherever possible. Even among people who like to think they are good, non-prejudiced people, I tend to see a lot of intolerant and prejudicial attitudes in other areas, which I think is awful and a sign that we're still not going about this right. And among the people who just keep their thoughts to themselves, by staying silent on the issue, they may not be actively serving to hurt anything, but by not speaking their mind on the right side of things and not helping, they are indirectly hurting things, by slowing progress from what it could be.
 

Frodo

Member
I have to say that I'm only tolerant of gay males, because the act of them kissing in public makes me uncomfortable - acceptance would probably mean something more but I just can't stop myself from having a negative reaction. Obviously I will hide it as to not cause emotional distress.

I have to say I respect you for acknowledging that. Somethings are too deeply ingrained to immediately change. But I'm glad you are able to recognise it and even pretend to be okay to not cause any distress. Sometimes acceptance is a long road, and it might take time. It is a good to stay questioning yourself to why you feel that way, but I don't think I can blame you for not being totally accepting when it is clearly you know that already.
 

jorma

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Did you read what I wrote?



I'm taking about some posts in this very thread that approached the subject saying they think all men are ugly, or whatever, thus making every single sexual act in between two men repulsive. I'm talking about the notion that even acknowledging a man's look is pleasant to the eyes is seen as a thing men shouldn't do, and disputing that notion. I thought I was clear enough differentiating in between acknowledging the beauty in a male and being physically attracted to it. This is something women don't have any issues about. They all recognise the beauty in other women and are not necessarily sexually attracted by it. It is only men that struggle with that, and try to pretend they think all men are ugly or vicious looking gorillas or that the notion of recognizing beauty in a male body is repulsive somehow. Mostly because they want to protect their masculinity and avoid the chance to be mistaken by a gay man because of that.

I think you are projecting a lot of things on these men (about them protecting their masculinity) that aren't neccessarily true.
Personally, I can obviously identify a man that would be considered "pleasant to the eyes", but for me watching two "studs" hump wouldn't be any different from watching to ugly looking gorilla-men hump. Zero attraction. I just can't imagine myself watching gay porn and thinking "man, these actors are too ugly, this would be so much better if they were hotter"

I'm not sure why this is so unconcievable for you.

But in all honestly i'm not even sure were talking about the same thing anymore.
 

BossLackey

Gold Member
I don't find it repulsive per se. Just not my cup of tea. I couldn't care less what people want to do with their bodies as long as it isn't hurting anyone.
 
I think you are projecting a lot of things on these men (about them protecting their masculinity) that aren't neccessarily true.
Personally, I can obviously identify a man that would be considered "pleasant to the eyes", but for me watching two "studs" hump wouldn't be any different from watching to ugly looking gorilla-men hump. Zero attraction. I just can't imagine myself watching gay porn and thinking "man, these actors are too ugly, this would be so much better if they were hotter"

I'm not sure why this is so unconcievable for you.

But in all honestly i'm not even sure were talking about the same thing anymore.
It's not about enjoying the sight of two men copulating, it's about being able to appreciate the human male body. It's a bit of jump from one to the other.

Like, if you look at Michelangelo's David and think the human male body is disgusting and gross, that seems not normal. I can look at Canova's Three Muses and think a woman's body is beautiful without also feeling any desire towards it.
 

Son Of D

Member
In my case, although I know you're asking in general, I just think we men are fucking hideous on a plain old aesthetic level.

This can come off as pretty wrong to some people. Some people could interpret it as you saying that straight women, gay men and bi people have bad taste because you're saying that they're attracted to hideous people which could lead to a negative reaction. I'm not accusing you of such things myself, but I can guarantee that someone will interpret that differently.

Yeah I certainly don't think that it's disgusting or anything like that, if for whatever reason I saw some dudes doing it i'd be uncomfortable and I'd switch it off or walk out depending on the situation.

How do you react if you see a gay male couple kissing or showing a public display of affection? That's a better indicator in my eyes. If you confront them and tell them to stop, then I'd say that's prejudice. If you just let them go about their business that's fine. If it makes you feel a bit uncomfortable then that could be for various reasons but I doubt it's because of prejudice (unless it literally makes you feel sick).
 
I know gay people that find the female body, especially the vagina, very unappealing. So it can definitely go both ways, and you don't need to worry about what other people do behind closed doors.

Also, always find it a bit odd when I see guys say they could never understand finding a guy's body appealing. If you workout, you admire your body. It's not that far removed to admire someone else's.
 
D

Deleted member 1235

Unconfirmed Member
How do you react if you see a gay male couple kissing or showing a public display of affection? That's a better indicator in my eyes. If you confront them and tell them to stop, then I'd say that's prejudice

seems balanced. GAFs reaction is as always hilarious. seems like there is no right answer and everything must be ridiculously analysed. That one fool that got banned, perfect example of how not to stop talking when you should.

I watched the movie 'shortbus' once. I was in no way expecting that much gay porn and neither were either my girlfriend or dude friend. we watched the whole thing because we thought the dude jizzing in his own face would be the one really OTT thing. It wasn't... there was a lot more. 3 dudes singing the star spangled banner into each others wangs as microphones was memorable.

I guess that would make it the first time I ever actually saw the gayness happening. It was.... not appealing and I don't ever seek to repeat it. Guess I felt a bit more comfortable with myself afterwards because 'it didn't move'

I would imagine the feelings I felt were similar to what a gay dude feels looking at some hardcore hetro boinking with a nice vagina close up. Kind of an 'eeehhh lame' feeling.

Movie was horrible though, because they totally bait and switched out really hot girl getting banged at a party showing full penetration and then switching out to 2 or 3 dudes doing it. That's not cool movie guys.
 
How do you react if you see a gay male couple kissing or showing a public display of affection? That's a better indicator in my eyes. If you confront them and tell them to stop, then I'd say that's prejudice. If you just let them go about their business that's fine. If it makes you feel a bit uncomfortable then that could be for various reasons but I doubt it's because of prejudice (unless it literally makes you feel sick).

I honestly don't bat an eyelid, I've been in gay bars on nights out with a group of gay and straight friends as we have a few good ones here (or used to) and I saw heavy petting from both sides and I just carried on doing whatever I was doing.
 
I honestly don't bat an eyelid, I've been in gay bars on nights out with a group of gay and straight friends as we have a few good ones here (or used to) and I saw heavy petting from both sides and I just carried on doing whatever I was doing.
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Ok, i was responding to the dude who claimed (or at least i interpreted his post as a claim) that it's unlikely that i would find all men unattractive because i should be conditioned to know what an attractive man looks like by now. And i agree with one of his premises - i am conditioned to know what an attractive man looks like.
But i'm still not attracted.

And why is their perceived good looks of any importance in your second scenario? Can't it be nice for them even if they are ugly looking men?
That these hollywood hunks who are kissing on screen are good looking doesn't change anything for me personally. They could just as well be "ugly gorillas" kissing for all i would care.

Cuz there was a dude in here that was like, men are fucking hideous, as if saying only pretty people are acceptable to kiss in public :<

As for my stance, here's what I said earlier. And more things.


Look, base line is no one is making anyone watching sex. Of whatever kinds.

For me, the struggle is more about how samesex people are not accepted in the mainstream sphere. Inwardly, a lot of people remain on the side of: "I am cool with the gays, but two men kissing in my field of vision grosses me out."

Like I said, instead of going: "Oh, its just two consenting adults showing love for each other. That's nice for them."

That difference, that inner repulsion at samesex couples, makes me sad. As if we are 'deformed' and 'wrong' and therefore must be minimised.. even erased, from the public's field of vision.
 

The Adder

Banned
Cuz there was a dude in here that was like, men are fucking hideous, as if saying only pretty people are acceptable to kiss in public :<

And again, please point to a single post where I said anything of the sort. I will direct your attention to

Only if finding the act of old people sex repulsive is prejudiced against the elderly.

Two people I find entirely sexually unattractive going at it, not my thing.

I know it's happening. I'm legitimately glad they're getting theirs and no one's stopping them. I just don't want to see it. Ever. Please.

Now having that kind of reaction to two people kissing in public? That's when I start to think someone has some hate in their heart.

And

Meh. Different people are different.

For one thing, on a TV show or movie (unless it's porn) you don't actually see two people having sex. I am very specifically talking about actual coitus.

Do you not have that reaction to old people sex, btw? I used that as an example because it seems pretty universal for people below a certain age.

I would kindly ask you not to put words in my mouth. Especially when that very same mouth had previously said literally the exact opposite.
 
And again, please point to a single post where I said anything of the sort.

Oh. Sorry. I dont mean to say that you have huge problems with samesex people being affectionate.

I was extrapolating on how hard it can be to be treated as 'fucking hideous' by someone.

But, I can see that your stance is.... that of .... tolerance.

So, apologies!
 

The Adder

Banned
Oh. Sorry. I dont mean to say that you have huge problems with samesex people being affectionate.

I was extrapolating on how hard it can be to be treated as 'fucking hideous' by someone.

But, I can see that your stance is.... that'll of .... tolerance.

So, apologies!

If you consider my reacting to picturing (or actually seeing, however that strange turn of events happens) you and another guy going at it the same way as I react to picturing two elderly people, two particularly unattractive women, my parents, or straight porn filmed from that godawful "all man ass and balls because we don't know how the fuck a camera works" angle doing the same as mere tolerance, I think you may have a rather high threshold for acceptance.

Also, you seem to be taking the statement "we men are fucking hideous on a plain old aesthetic level" as "gay men are fucking hideous." I assure you I meant what I said (in a less exaggerated for humor sense) and nothing beyond.
 
omg why isn't this thread over yet.

the obvious glaring answer is yes, anything else is closet homophobes and 'what about me' straight guys.
 
If you consider my reacting to picturing (or actually seeing, however that strange turn of events happens) you and another guy going at it the same way as I react to picturing two elderly people, two particularly unattractive women, my parents, or straight porn filmed from that godawful "all man ass and balls because we don't know how the fuck a camera works" angle doing the same as mere tolerance, I think you may have a rather high threshold for acceptance.

Also, you seem to be taking the statement "we men are fucking hideous on a plain old aesthetic level" as "gay men are fucking hideous." I assure you I meant what I said (in a less exaggerated for humor sense) and nothing beyond.

Yes, I might have a higher threshold for acceptance, I guess

Is that bad?

I just thought all kinds of people should be allowed to have an ease of mind to show affection without fearing that others find them 'fucking hideous'

:<

Maybe I'm approaching this from the wrong angle?

But I've always been able to see unusual people going at 'it' with the notion of "Oh, they are in love! That's wonderful for them!"... maybe because I'm pining for the same kind of reaction towards my own relationship....

But, again, The Adder, apologies if you took that I was going at you.... I wasn't >__<
 
if you've ever pleasured yourself to anal or lesbian pornography and you find gay sex repulsive then that's probably prejudice. delicious prejudice with a side of hypocrisy.

also, the word "repulsive" for this seems misused if you consider the scope of humanity. to be repulsed by harmless sex stuff that has nothing to do with you, well, i think you should put your energy of being repulsed by things worth being repulsed by.
 

Zelias

Banned
'Repulsive' is a pretty strong word. If you actually find gay sex to be repulsive, then, yeah, I'd be willing to bet you're prejudiced.
 

Izuna

Banned
I hope my first post after being banned due to this thread doesn't get me banned again...

Coincidentally, a day after I posted that being repulsed by homosexual acts was normal, a male gay couple moved into the room next door to mine, the same as my hypothetical example.

Hearing them make love through the wall isn't any more gross (it's not gross) than heading a straight couple. Also, seeing them kiss doesn't gross me out at all.

So it seems that there is a difference between how I feel in real life vs. when I see it on television or such.

So I guess, I disagree with myself from before &#128521;

I realised that I'm not too big on seeing straight kissing or straight sex on telly either.
 
I hope my first post after being banned due to this thread doesn't get me banned again...

Coincidentally, a day after I posted that being repulsed by homosexual acts was normal, a male gay couple moved into the room next door to mine, the same as my hypothetical example.

Hearing them make love through the wall isn't any more gross (it's not gross) than heading a straight couple. Also, seeing them kiss doesn't gross me out at all.

So it seems that there is a difference between how I feel in real life vs. when I see it on television or such.

So I guess, I disagree with myself from before &#128521;

I realised that I'm not too big on seeing straight kissing or straight sex on telly either.
Good example of how people need legitimate personal experience to really understand these things.
 

Buzzman

Banned
Gay people making out/having sex makes me feel uncomfortable in the same way seeing two 90 year-olds doing it.

I mean, who am I to say anything about it? They can do whatever they want if it makes them happy, it's more that I need to get over it.
 
I hope my first post after being banned due to this thread doesn't get me banned again...

Coincidentally, a day after I posted that being repulsed by homosexual acts was normal, a male gay couple moved into the room next door to mine, the same as my hypothetical example.

Hearing them make love through the wall isn't any more gross (it's not gross) than heading a straight couple. Also, seeing them kiss doesn't gross me out at all.

So it seems that there is a difference between how I feel in real life vs. when I see it on television or such.

So I guess, I disagree with myself from before &#128521;

I realised that I'm not too big on seeing straight kissing or straight sex on telly either.
It's cool to see you having an introspective moment after coming across this in real life. Cheers for sharing.
 

goldenpp72

Member
Not in my mind, I find it gross in concept just as i'd find it gross watching anything I find unattractive having sex, doesn't result in me wanting them to lose any rights, but a simple truth.

I'd not want to watch two fat chicks going at it either, if it's two hot women it's fine because well, I find both attractive. Nothing to do with being 'gay' so much as the visual or thought being gross, just like some might love doing it with heavy set ladies, to each their own.

People who consider it hypocritical are trying to blend two concepts I consider unrelated, being gay isn't bothersome, sex between things you don't want to imagine doing that are.
 
Of course it doesn't. Plenty of straight people find the idea of homosexual sex acts kind of gross, just as plenty of gay people find the idea of heterosexual sex acts kind of gross. I think in general people find the idea of sex with someone/something they are not attracted to to be kind of gross.

Indeed. It's like watching someone eat radishes if you think radishes taste totally nasty.
You don't have any problem with people eating radishes, that would be dumb as shit. Why the hell would you have a problem with that? But it still might make you go "ew" if you imagine eating one. Just doesn't jive with your own tastes. It's normal. They'll enjoy their snack and you'll enjoy yours and everyone is happy.
 
Not in my mind, I find it gross in concept just as i'd find it gross watching anything I find unattractive having sex, doesn't result in me wanting them to lose any rights, but a simple truth.

I'd not want to watch two fat chicks going at it either, if it's two hot women it's fine because well, I find both attractive. Nothing to do with being 'gay' so much as the visual or thought being gross, just like some might love doing it with heavy set ladies, to each their own.

People who consider it hypocritical are trying to blend two concepts I consider unrelated, being gay isn't bothersome, sex between things you don't want to imagine doing that are.

It seems to me that you pretty much confessed to being prejudiced to ugly people.
 
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