Does finding the act of gay sex repulsive, make you prejudiced?

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Vashetti

Banned
It's sinful to act upon the desires, but there's a Third Way.

Check out this video... incredible: http://vimeo.com/m/93079367

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ngower

Member
Why are straight people thinking about gay sex to begin with? I don't sit here thinking about sex between a man and a woman, so why are y'all? Just seems superfluous and silly.

There's also that whole psycho-social thing about finding some sort of suppressed desires repulsive...but let's not go there.
 

Wilsongt

Member
Ok I'm curious, what are the contents of the video? A bunch of "ex"-gays talking about their conversion or something?

Just the first two minutes is a string of snippets showing gay and lesbians being violent, cops in riot gear, preacher talking points about gays and lesbians going to hell, etc.

I assume converted/ex-gay people are going on and on about family problems and broken relationships with their mothers and fathers.
 

Ahasverus

Member
Ok I'm curious, what are the contents of the video? A bunch of "ex"-gays talking about their conversion or something?
They say they are gay and can't change it, but that acting gay is a sin, so they chose " accept themselves but don't act in sin" and dedicate their lives to love god. Not the most offensive video, surely, but still backwards, uneccessary and ridiculous.
 

Malleymal

You now belong to FMT.
I am not repulsed by it at all. I will see two guys holding hands or kissing each other and I don't think that should be an issue. I haven't watched sex between two guys and don't intend on doing so, but that is meant for people as a whole to be done in the privacy of their own homes or cars or whatever. Thats perfectly fine.
 
Does finding the act of gay sex repulsive, make you prejudiced?
If an internal personal feeling is the only outcome . . . then no.

But repulsive feeling seems to drive many people to become prejudiced. If you listen to a lot of the anti-gay zealots they'll often start talking about various aspects of anal sex. WTF? Why are they even thinking about it? They are not interested in participating in it so stop there. But they obsess about it and use disadvantages of it to power and rationalize their bigotry.
-Never mind that lots of gay men don't even participate in anal sex at all!
-And the ones that do spend a lot of time & effort on mitigating the disadvantages of it.
-And straight people often do it.
 
Just the first two minutes is a string of snippets showing gay and lesbians being violent, cops in riot gear, preacher talking points about gays and lesbians going to hell, etc.

I assume converted/ex-gay people are going on and on about family problems and broken relationships with their mothers and fathers.

They say they are gay and can't change it, but that acting gay is a sin, so they chose " accept themselves but don't act in sin" and dedicate their lives to love god. Not the most offensive video, surely, but still backwards, uneccessary and ridiculous.

Ah. I see. Wait.... if not acting on sexual urges is the third way what the hell are the first two?

1. Acting on it
2. ????? (Conversion therapy?)
3. Not acting on it
 

BLunted

Banned
I dont not believe it makes you prejudiced so long you recognize LGBT rights. I have no doubt that LBGT find hetero sex repulsive, but doesnt mean they hate hetero people.
 

Wilsongt

Member
Ah. I see. Wait.... if not acting on sexual urges is the third way what the hell are the first two?

1. Acting on it
2. ????? (Conversion therapy?)
3. Not acting on it

Acting on it
Not acting on it and lying to yourself by being in a straight relationship
Being gay, knowing you are gay, and just not having sex for the rest of your life.

The whole video is Catholic-based, so not only do they spin the not having gay sex because you can't make babies angle, but they also swing the anti-contraceptive angle.

There are enough people having babies in the world. A few gay and lesbians having sex and not making babies isn't going to kill the world's population.

Also, I love how they don't use the term "gay" they use same sex attraction, or some shit. It's very deceptive in its calmness after the initial bullshit intro.
 
Ah. I see. Wait.... if not acting on sexual urges is the third way what the hell are the first two?

1. Acting on it
2. ????? (Conversion therapy?)
3. Not acting on it
In the beginning of the video, the "third way" seems to be an alternative to homophobia or bigotry with how people deal with homosexuality. It was also good that the video made a point that it wasn't a phase or a choice, but at about 6 minutes in, I'm starting to get the feeling that they're going with an "abuse makes you gay" angle.
 

azyless

Member
Not being turned on by gay porn? Completely okay. Being repulsed by the idea of doing that yourself? Sure.
But being "repulsed" (what a strong word btw) just thinking about 2 guys having sex? Yeah I think that's prejudiced.
 
I dont not believe it makes you prejudiced so long you recognize LGBT rights. I have no doubt that LBGT find hetero sex repulsive, but doesnt mean they hate hetero people.

How are you so sure? I don't find hetero sex repulsive and neither do any gay men I know.
 

Wilsongt

Member
In the beginning of the video, the "third way" seems to be an alternative to homophobia or bigotry with how people deal with homosexuality. It was also good that the video made a point that it wasn't a phase or a choice, but at about 6 minutes in, I'm starting to get the feeling that they're going with an "abuse makes you gay" angle.

After going further into the video, the third way is indeed being chaste. So, basically, sure you can be gay, but don't ever have any gay sex or any sex because you're not married.

Essentially, become a nun or a priest: No sex for you. And, we all know how Catholics feel about masturbation...
 

AlexMogil

Member
I'm not repulsed by it... but if I put a completely random set of porn on autoplay and it's just two dudes making out, I'm probably going to hit the 'next video' button.

So I'm not turned on by it.
 

Rayis

Member
Why doesn't the catholic church make a video like that but for all the pedophile priests instead? now THAT's sinful.
 
I dont not believe it makes you prejudiced so long you recognize LGBT rights. I have no doubt that LBGT find hetero sex repulsive, but doesnt mean they hate hetero people.

I imagine even LGBT individuals who hate the idea of heterosexual sex aren't repulsed by seeing heterosexuals hold hands or kiss in public though.
 
After going further into the video, the third way is indeed being chaste. So, basically, sure you can be gay, but don't ever have any gay sex or any sex because you're not married.

Essentially, become a nun or a priest: No sex for you. And, we all know how Catholics feel about masturbation...
I mean, I'm already "chaste", but I don't think that would change how homophobes would view me. There's just something I find nefarious and pervasively disgusting about straight religious people telling gay people to give up having relationships or any physical intimacy with anyone for the rest of their lives since they themselves would probably never be able to do so. (Or they'd be more okay with straight people "accidentally sinning" through dating or having sex before marriage.)

They want gay people to deny their humanity and to give up being people. To never be allowed to feel love for someone, or be loved in return, encouraged through implicit threats of everlasting consequences, or that they'd be doing something wrong or sinful if they were to do so. It's a cruel and inhumane crime against humanity. It destroys people emotionally and mentally through abuse and brainwashing, as the video shows.
 

goldenpp72

Member
It seems to me that you pretty much confessed to being prejudiced to ugly people.

When it comes to observing them in the act of sex? Yes that would be accurate, would you want to observe something you found unattractive having sex? It kind of goes against the entire concept, of course, what is ugly or not is entirely personal opinion which is why most people can still get the hook up :p
 
I mean, I'm already "chaste", but I don't think that would change how homophobes would view me. There's just something I find nefarious and pervasively disgusting about straight religious people telling gay people to give up having relationships or any physical intimacy with anyone for the rest of their lives since they themselves would probably never be able to do so. (Or they'd be more okay with straight people "accidentally sinning" through dating or having sex before marriage.)

They want gay people to deny their humanity and to give up being people. To never be allowed to feel love for someone, or be loved in return, encouraged through implicit threats of everlasting consequences, or that they'd be doing something wrong or sinful if they were to do so. It's a cruel and inhumane crime against humanity. It destroys people emotionally and mentally through abuse and brainwashing, as the video shows.

I will never understand why they're focussing so much on this ''sin'' and completely disregard the ''sins'' they commit every single day.
 
I will never understand why they're focussing so much on this ''sin'' and completely disregard the ''sins'' they commit every single day.
Religion is certainly no stranger to hypocrisy. In general, though, people tend to be less critical of their own shortcomings or less empathetic about something until they themselves experience it.
 

EmiPrime

Member
I imagine even LGBT individuals who hate the idea of heterosexual sex aren't repulsed by seeing heterosexuals hold hands or kiss in public though.

Tell that to all the gay men who find it necessary to express just how gross and repulsive they find vaginas. There is a lot of casual misogyny among gay men.
 
omg why isn't this thread over yet.

the obvious glaring answer is yes, anything else is closet homophobes and 'what about me' straight guys.
No offense, but that comes off pretty naive and also prejudiced for yourself. You don't know how human mind works. It might be prejudice, and for a lot of people it certainly is, but it's not necessarily that for some people. Human mind is an incredibly complex thing.

It seems to me that you pretty much confessed to being prejudiced to ugly people.
Or maybe he just finds sex in general, if there is nothing he/she can be attracted to, "gross".
Why are straight people thinking about gay sex to begin with? I don't sit here thinking about sex between a man and a woman, so why are y'all? Just seems superfluous and silly.
I don't think anyone actively thinks about it. It's more like that sometimes you run might run into it and discover that feeling that it feels displeasing.

Honestly I am not convinced that being repulsed by gay sex is indicative of active hate. However, I don't buy the notion that it is a natural feeling. I think that in large part, what we find attractive/repulsive is influenced by culture. The easiest way to see that is with food. Surely something such as what we find tasty must be purely biological right? Well it clearly isn't. Americans aren't born with a genetic predisposition to find things like duck necks, bull testicles, cow heart, etc... disgusting. We aren't genetically predisposed to find those eggs with the dead chicken in them disgusting. We find those foods disgusting because we simply aren't exposed to them often in our culture.

I think that finding two gay men kissing "gross" is likely only repulsive to many because our culture is in many ways still homophobic. Straight men can be accepting of gays, but can't actually show acceptance of gay acts because then they might be seen as gay. So the simple way to show you aren't gay and don't want to participate in gay acts is going "ewww gross." That doesn't make the person saying that actively homophobic, but the act is definitely rooted in more subtle homophobia.

The good news is that it actually can be changed. I'm going to guess that people exposed to gay public displays of affection eventually become desensitized to it and no longer find it gross. Nudist communities aren't made up entirely of smoking hot nude people. There are people we would find "gross" naked, but other nudists don't see it as gross because they are so frequently exposed to it.
Quoting many pages back, but that's actually a good point.

However, I wouldn't say finding two gay men kissing "gross" to be repulsive is necessarily even because of the homophobia of our culture (it's certainly for many, but I don't think it's necessarily that or only that for a lot of people), but looking at it in bigger scale, it might be that humans tend to find a lot of things that are new to them, unappealing or even displeasing. This way, nature would still tie to it in a way, but culture would be a major factor too as displays of homosexuality, or actually almost anything sexual outside of the most common sexual things we see, (i.e. young'ish, good looking heterosexual people that we see all the time everywhere) have always been and unfortunately still are, very rare.
 
Tell that to all the gay men who find it necessary to express just how gross and repulsive they find vaginas. There is a lot of casual misogyny among gay men.

I would suggest you reread my post emi. I specifically said even those people probably aren't repulsed by heterosexual hand holding or kissing.
 

Ikael

Member
No, not at all. You can hate and have disgust at something and that doesn't make it inmoral at all. The trick is to be conscious enough to realize that your dislike for gay sex is instinctual and has no rational basis or whatsoever. It is the post-rationalization that we make in order to validate our feelings what screw us up. See also: "violent videogames are icky, therefore harmful".

People that dislike gay sex are no more bigoted than, say, people who dislike bukake, snots or David Lindelof. Conversely, gay sex, gore movies and everything else that makes many people feel queasy is not inmoral, either. Let's all stop putting our reptilian instincts into a pedestal and create a better world instead.

As for the subliminal bigot hunters, lay down the pitchforks, thank you very much.
 

EmiPrime

Member
I would suggest you reread my post emi. I specifically said even those people probably aren't repulsed by heterosexual hand holding or kissing.

Guess I shouldn't rush post while on Hearthstone, sorry.

My post is on topic even though it doesn't work so well as a reply to you.
 
No, not at all. You can hate and have disgust at something and that doesn't make it inmoral at all. The trick is to be conscious enough to realize that your dislike for gay sex is instinctual and has no rational basis or whatsoever. It is the post-rationalization that we make in order to validate our feelings what screw us up. See also: "violent videogames are icky, therefore harmful".

People that dislike gay sex are no more bigoted than, say, people who dislike bukake, snots or David Lindelof. Conversely, gay sex, gore movies and everything else that makes many people feel queasy is not inmoral, either. Let's all stop putting our reptilian instincts into a pedestal and create a better world instead.

As for the subliminal bigot hunters, lay down the pitchforks, thank you very much.

Do you realise that you just compared gay sex to gore?
 

Sai-kun

Banned
No, not at all. You can hate and have disgust at something and that doesn't make it inmoral at all. The trick is to be conscious enough to realize that your dislike for gay sex is instinctual and has no rational basis or whatsoever. It is the post-rationalization that we make in order to validate our feelings what screw us up. See also: "violent videogames are icky, therefore harmful".

People that dislike gay sex are no more bigoted than, say, people who dislike bukake, snots or David Lindelof. Conversely, gay sex, gore movies and everything else that makes many people feel queasy is not inmoral, either. Let's all stop putting our reptilian instincts into a pedestal and create a better world instead.

As for the subliminal bigot hunters, lay down the pitchforks, thank you very much.

lmao noooooooooooo i'm weak
 

Izuna

Banned
It's cool to see you having an introspective moment after coming across this in real life. Cheers for sharing.

Like, I had bi and gay friends in school from both genders, and before I never used to judge them but I realise that because I showed so much discomfort when it came to the discussion of gay PDA, they never wanted to show it. It is kinda like how when lesbians kissed on a bus and everyone stares or looks away.

Having felt PDA be frowned upon in Japan, I can now make that connection. What if one guy is open and doesn't care what others think, but his partner is worried by what others will think. I know exactly what that feels like and I never imagined that it is how gay people feel, just much worse.

I feel like a jack ass. I never understood why Pride had to be so huge, but now I do. Because when normal straight people see pride in person, they will understand that they are just people in love and now maybe gay people can Express their love the way they want to.

It is okay for me to flaunt and tell everyone how beautiful my girlfriend is at work, and that may be annoying, but to feel like everyone was scoffing and repulsed by the idea of me loving her?

I still have conversations which are homophobic with old friends, and it is not a thing we can help. We are so used to using gay as an insult that it just comes out. I hope the next generation, and my kids, won't get used to doing that.

I also hope that the day comes where having gay friends isn't a way to boast openness, like having a black partner or friend was"proof" once wasn't racist.

Also, fuck that video. I have never cringed at gay porn or violence as much as I cringed at the idea of so many people hating on their own feelings to love others.

I am extremely straight, but because of this thread, I hope I'm no longer a bigot.
 

Ikael

Member
Do you realise that you just compared gay sex to gore?

Both are things that makes some people feel repulsion and that in turn, many people likes to label as "bad" even if they don't harm anyone. Other than that, both are nothing alilke.

My point is that "ewww that's disgusting how can you do / like that" it's a line of "reasoning" that deserves a sound "cool story, bro" as an answer.
 
Repulsive is a strong word.

For me gay sex is as repulsive as sex between two obese people for example. There's a difference between thinking it's wrong and not being appealed in the least by it.

Of course people will say "oh but you have to think this way, otherwise you're bla bla bla". I mean come the fuck on, I don't have to be neutral about the image of a man fucking another man and so on.

As long as that doesn't affect the way you treat people, then it's just a bunch of noise from people who feel like somehow they have the right to something they don't. Like the right to be attractive to others. Shit doesn't exist.
 

Monocle

Member
Crossposting from the LGBT thread:

The "eww gross" thing is one more little straw in the gigantic haystack of attacks on LGBT people's dignity, one more daily reminder that we're still not normal in the eyes of the straight majority. Those reactions are easy to overlook by themselves, when they come from people who are generally reasonable and tolerant, but since they're aimed at a group that's already heavily stigmatized, they're damaging. They salt wounds inflicted by real bigots. In fact, it's exactly that kind of widespread, socially acceptable, apparently benign ignorance that puts the burden on LGBT people to keep a low profile. We aren't free to be ourselves as long as our romantic and sexual lives are considered disgusting. "Eww gross" reactions are a direct obstacle to social equality for anyone who doesn't fit the heteronormative mold, because those reactions reinforce homophobia.

When a gay guy says that vaginas are gross, he's not contributing to the miasma of nastiness and unease centered around straight people, because it doesn't exist.
 
Crossposting from the LGBT thread:

The "eww gross" thing is one more little straw in the gigantic haystack of attacks on LGBT people's dignity, one more daily reminder that we're still not normal in the eyes of the straight majority. Those reactions are easy to overlook by themselves, when they come from people who are generally reasonable and tolerant, but since they're aimed at a group that's already heavily stigmatized, they're damaging. They salt wounds inflicted by real bigots. In fact, it's exactly that kind of widespread, socially acceptable, apparently benign ignorance that puts the burden on LGBT people to keep a low profile. We aren't free to be ourselves as long as our romantic and sexual lives are considered disgusting. "Eww gross" reactions are a direct obstacle to social equality for anyone who doesn't fit the heteronormative mold, because those reactions reinforce homophobia.

When a gay guy says that vaginas are gross, he's not contributing to the miasma of nastiness and unease centered around straight people, because it doesn't exist.
I agree completely people really shouldn't say it out loud. It can help strengthen the idea that it's gross on others if people say it out loud.

If one has that kind of reaction purely internally I don't think it's bad though, but if one has that and also has the attitude "don't shove it to my face / I don't wanna see you 2 guys kissing on the street" etc etc, then that's definitely not fine. But simply having an internal reaction "eww that's slightly gross to me" just isn't bad in itself in my opinion, because you can still recognize gays should obviously be able to show signs of affection on public places too and you don't try to avoid it. Even then, you should try to get rid of that feeling of course.

Well that's productive.
 

Koppai

Member
I still have conversations which are homophobic with old friends, and it is not a thing we can help. We are so used to using gay as an insult that it just comes out. I hope the next generation, and my kids, won't get used to doing that.

I am extremely straight, but because of this thread, I hope I'm no longer a bigot.
You can change that by not using that kind of language and saying that it's not cool to bash people like that. I judge people by their actions not their background. Making justification because that's how things were when you were growing up does not make it okay to continue.
 

ronito

Member
I don't think finding it repulsive makes you homophobic any more than not finding it repulsive makes you homosexual.
 

Monocle

Member
It's sinful to act upon the desires, but there's a Third Way.

Check out this video... incredible: http://vimeo.com/m/93079367
Hey homos! Check out this one weird trick to not be a filthy creature in the eyes of the Lord!

I agree completely people really shouldn't say it out loud. It can help strengthen the idea that it's gross on others if people say it out loud.

If one has that kind of reaction purely internally I don't think it's bad though, but if one has that and also has the attitude "don't shove it to my face / I don't wanna see you 2 guys kissing on the street" etc etc, then that's definitely not fine. But simply having an internal reaction "eww that's slightly gross to me" just isn't bad in itself in my opinion, because you can still recognize gays should obviously be able to show signs of affection on public places too and you don't try to avoid it. Even then, you should try to get rid of that feeling of course.
Right, all it takes is enough goodwill and self-control to stop calling gay stuff gross. This is not the threat to free speech that some are making it out to be. No one has to broadcast every ugly thought that pops into their heads. No one is any less free to have their own opinion when they decide to soften the truth a little to avoid insulting others.

Again, the reason these small acts of tolerance are important is that society is already extremely homophobic. "Eww gross" reactions add to the negativity and make it that much harder for LGBT people to live without concealing our attractions and hiding huge pieces of our lives. No one should have to worry about putting a family photo on their desk at work or talking about a date they have on the weekend.
 
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