Support NeoGAF

[Dahbomb]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

At first I was like:

And then I read the ending...

 

[Funky Papa]

If two people who are in a relationship and one of them gets horny and the other is down to do stuff too but it's like "naa, don't worry, i'll get myself off today, i don't feel like the hassle", that would be weird to me. Whether it was a guy or a woman.

Well, according to him, this particular situation happens because he isn't down to it. We are talking about a marriage with problems of sexual compatibility; I wouldn't dare to call this common nor uncommon, but it's certainly something that they to get fixed before it gets worse.

I'd also add what does menstruation have to do with anything?

I'm not sure if I understand your question. Plenty of people, men and women alike, are grossed out by the notion of having sex while menstruating. And nobody wants to deal with the bloody mess it leaves behind, particularly during the worst part of it.

But this is basic sexuality, so I should probably go read a book I guess?

Go ahead. I still do it.

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

Astounding.

 

[kyser73]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

It gives and gives and gives, and at the end gives just that little bit more.

 

[IrishNinja]

thread is now about PD's evolution to masterclass

 

["D"]

I'm totally a very hot famous white dude holding a gun y'all.




On topic, holy shit, just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean their hands/body are suddenly yours to use whenever you feel like. There exists another person there, who has wants/needs/emotions as well, and there is always going to be times when your partner isn't in the mood, isn't feeling well, is tired, or just doesn't want to at that exact second.. That is not 'withholding sex'. That's a 'relationship with another person'.

Never said that at all. My opinion didn't lie with the idea of being denied but the act that follows. It's totally fine if your other doesn't want to do anything with you cause yeah, they are a person too.

My thing was masturbating when there's another person there that may/may not be willing. In terrisius case he isn't really the willing party, but masturbating without the other person's knowledge or not trying to get the other person involved or asking them for intimacy, to ME, is a little selfish especially, like terrisius' case, they are around to 'possibly' please the person if they are in fact willing.

Using myself as an a loose example, my gf actually gets OFFENDED if I don't tell her whenever I'm in the mood or tell her if i'm wanting her (if she's not around to please me) Weird to some people but normal for others.

 

[Turin]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

That ending!

PS: Props for using the Larry Merchant face.

 

[ishibear]

Is this part of a greater trend to avoid female? Or is this your own personal pet peeve?

Pretty sure we all do it when we refer to either gender in a more clinical sense.

I wouldn't call a woman at a party "that female over there" but I would have had no problem when talking about them in a medical journal, a police lineup, a casting call. etc.

The bolded is what's expected of anyone. Female itself is a normal word and there's no damper on it, however, when used to refer to women without the situation necessary, it's to demean the female gender. I answered this earlier btw, but I want to make it clear there's a difference between using female where necessary and using it to address women in other instances.

When we see those "females be like..." sayings, it comes off more like insinuating women have problems solely because we are a different gender as if men and women are reserved to single specific traits, nothing shared. We all know it isn't true so, disrespect of the female gender in that regard is really gross and unfounded. That is where people draw the line, not every single time female is used.

 

[Enter The 36 Chambers]

PD tha gawd

 

[Snowman]

I'm not sure if I understand your question. Plenty of people, men and women alike, are grossed out by the notion of having sex while menstruating. And nobody wants to deal with the bloody mess it leaves behind, particularly during the worst part of it.

I've seen it argued here that being grossed out by the notion of having sex while menstruating is sort of naive too, that's all.

 

[Mechazawa]

Holy shit that sleight of hand from PD.

 

[F0rneus]

This goddamn thread keeps on giving. My year is made. Damn hahahhaa

 

[HGStormy]

It's not really offensive like "omg you asshole!" It's more a term to try and not use unless necessary. I said earlier it is evolved from the term bitch, instead of female dogs now it's simply, females.

The bolded is key. No woman would prolly pick a fight with you over it, but I recommend to every guy I meet that they stop using it. Female is equal to male and they shouldn't refer to us as if our gender is some strange entity that exists to perplex the male gender.




The bolded is what's expected of anyone. Female itself is a normal word and there's no damper on it, however, when used to refer to women without the situation necessary, it's to demean the female gender. I answered this earlier btw, but I want to make it clear there's a difference between using female where necessary and using it to address women in other instances.

When we see those "females be like..." sayings, it comes off more like insinuating women have problems solely because we are a different gender as if men and women are reserved to single specific traits, nothing shared. We all know it isn't true so, disrespect of the female gender in that regard is really gross and unfounded. That is where people draw the line, not every single time female is used.

This makes a lot more sense than saying the term female is derogatory, which didn't compute in my tiny brain. I've only ever heard "female" and "male" used in a medical context. Both of them, male and female, are very odd terms to use in general every-day conversation, but I wouldn't exactly call them derogatory. I'm a guy though, so obviously I'm speaking from that perspective.
Thank you for taking the time to explain it.

 

["D"]

I'm sorry, what?

So in your opinion partners who masturbate by themselves, or themselves in the presence of their partner, have a fetish; and that you or your partner should basically be up for it whenever the SO feels like it?

So basically if you come home from work horny your partner, irrespective of their mood, should just service your your needs, as opposed to you nipping to the loo to sort yourself out? Is this what your opinion boils down to?

I never said anything about some sort of "at my beck and call" type of exchange between the two lovers. All I'm saying is why do that when you have someone there who MIGHT want to please you had you asked them, but you intentionally leave them out of it. That's kinda selfish to me but that's just my opinion. Just see if they want to be involved. If not, fine.

As a whole yes, I stand by what I said. I feel like if you have someone there to please you then why masturbate? Now depending on if they are WILLING or not then that's up to the situation and in that case should resort to masturbating, but the idea is attempting to get them involved. I never said anything about forcing it on the other person at all

 

[Syph Medwes]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

did not expect that ending
goddamn PD tha gawd

 

[Snowman]

Okay well, I can understand that, but it's still very very odd to me, and I too am an American.

Personal question, I know a lot of guys masturbate in the shower in the morning, do you? And if so, do you stop just because your in a relationship?

It's just really odd to me to have that sort of attitude in a healthy relationship. Humans as a species tend to well....want to masturbate a lot. Like I said before, my husband still masturbates. I do as well. We also still have sex. 14 years married, and we still do this. And it's honestly not uncommon at all.

Wait, like every morning? As just like a thing they do every time they have a shower? I've never heard that before

 

[RoKKeR]

What is going on in here? The OP trying to save face is embarrassing as hell-wait what is this...

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

HOLY. SHIT.

 

[Atraveller]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

Jesus!

 

[Krixeus]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

 

[Funky Papa]

I've seen it argued here that being grossed out by the notion of having sex while menstruating is sort of naive too, that's all.

While there's nothing biologically wrong with period sex, some women are specially tender down there during those days -which may make it uncomfortable-, the smell/taste is unpleasant for plenty of people and it can leave an infanticide-sized mess on your sheets.

I fail to see how anything of that has to do with being ingenuous.

 

[cdyhybrid]

I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

 

["D"]

Okay well, I can understand that, but it's still very very odd to me, and I too am an American.

Personal question, I know a lot of guys masturbate in the shower in the morning, do you? And if so, do you stop just because your in a relationship?

It's just really odd to me to have that sort of attitude in a healthy relationship. Humans as a species tend to well....want to masturbate a lot. Like I said before, my husband still masturbates. I do as well. We also still have sex. 14 years married, and we still do this. And it's honestly not uncommon at all.

If my gf is around and willing to engage in relations with me then nope. If she doesn't want to then maybe.

 

[Ran rp]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

I'm in tears. The OP, sunhi, this post.

 

[Rur0ni]

At first I was like:

And then I read the ending...

Essentially.

 

[wanderingprostheyltite]

Wait, like every morning? As just like a thing they do every time they have a shower? I've never heard that before

As a guy, never heard about the shower thing either. This just made me think of that scene from American Beauty of Kevin Spacey jerking it in the shower, a movie 10 plus years old. I don't think this is the norm. Also, shower water does not a good lubricant make

 

[Funky Papa]

Warm water is generally shit for sex and masturbation. It numbs your D like fucking novocain.

I'm not going to say I've never done it, but it can take some real effort.

 

[Chance Hale]

Masturbating in the shower is terrible. You have to turn away from the shower head(because otherwise it feels terrible like all sex and water activities) and then your legs get dried out and just ugh. Not recommended!

 

[terrisus]

Re: The PhoenixDark post - I can't figure out if that's a real story with the ending put on there, or a made-up story to lead up to the ending.

I'm inclined to think it's real, since it certainly seems real enough/like the sort of thing that happens quite often. And that the ending was just added on.

Spoiler

Although it's possible the ending was part of what really happened to, as a real-life troll >.>

 

["D"]

I'm just asking, again, but there's never been a time where you're say, late for work, sporting morning wood, and just quickly take care of it during your morning routine? Where you don't have to time or energy to go through the process of having sex and just bang one out real quick?

That's sorta baffling to me.

In a situation like that, I'd normally wait. Its not that "crucial" for me to rub one out right then and there when, if i wait until I get home, I can get a WHOLE SORT of sexual delights done to me/on me.

And if i'm too tired or lazy for intercourse then getting oral is perfect. Especially if she loves giving it. No work required other than to just "enjoy the ride" so to speak.

If I know I have a source of sexual pleasure in the form of a person around then of course THAT will be my first choice, while masturbation coming in second. But maybe that's just me. Why jerk it when I can get foreplay/submission/requests and the list goes on? It's like having Chick-fil-A connected to your house but you opt to eat the Great Value chicken breasts from Walmart.

 

[robotrock]

phoenix dark man holy fuck. post of the year

 

[terrisus]

I'm just asking, again, but there's never been a time where you're say, late for work, sporting morning wood, and just quickly take care of it during your morning routine? Where you don't have to time or energy to go through the process of having sex and just bang one out real quick?

That's sorta baffling to me.

I don't recall ever having "morning wood."
I'm sure it may have happened, but not that I've really noticed.

And I definitely have never done that in the shower.
Or before work at all, for that matter.


But then, we know by now I'm well out of the ordinary >.>

 

[Snowman]

I'm just asking, again, but there's never been a time where you're say, late for work, sporting morning wood, and just quickly take care of it during your morning routine? Where you don't have to time or energy to go through the process of having sex and just bang one out real quick?

That's sorta baffling to me.

The thing about morning wood is it doesn't just carry on until you deal with it, it'll go away pretty quickly on it's own if you're actively doing other things/have other thoughts on your mind. Right? I've never ever had it that bad anyways.

 

[BumRush]

I love that the thread title specifies laptop or pc only. I once caught a girl using a vibrator while watching porn on her mac, but I guess that's for another thread.

 

[chancellor]

Even when I stop gaming I know I am still going to come onto GAF because of threads like this.

Legendary.

 

[Fjordson]

Masterful shit from PD.

 

[cdyhybrid]

I don't recall ever having "morning wood."

Do you have ED or do you just not go through REM sleep?

 

[kyser73]

[QUOTE="D";136045753]I never said anything about some sort of "at my beck and call" type of exchange between the two lovers. All I'm saying is why do that when you have someone there who MIGHT want to please you had you asked them, but you intentionally leave them out of it. That's kinda selfish to me but that's just my opinion. Just see if they want to be involved. If not, fine.

As a whole yes, I stand by what I said. I feel like if you have someone there to please you then why masturbate? Now depending on if they are WILLING or not then that's up to the situation and in that case should resort to masturbating, but the idea is attempting to get them involved. I never said anything about forcing it on the other person at all[/QUOTE]

Ah, that makes more sense.

Yeah, kinda agree - I'd say if nothing else wanting to be alone frequently instead of with your partner would indicate a personal issue with the relationship, especially if it had been made clear your SO wanted some and you actively avoid having contact but then sort yourself out.

 

[terrisus]

I love that the thread title specifies laptop or pc only. I once caught a girl using a vibrator while watching porn on her mac, but I guess that's for another thread.

No love for Palm Pilots either =(

/hug You are fine man, just see a doctor if it bothers you and you already know my opinion on your current situation and I won't restate it cause it bothers you <3

/hug No worries, not bothered by stuff here really. As long as things are in good nature and everyone's happy, things are good =)

 

[terrisus]

Do you have ED or do you just not go through REM sleep?

Well, I'm sure I do dream, but, I never remember my dreams >.>

 

[Dahbomb]

I dedicate these video to you OP:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zJc2l517fE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n32YYJW9y64

 

[StopMakingSense]

[QUOTE="D";136047577]In a situation like that, I'd normally wait. Its not that "crucial" for me to rub one out right then and there when, if i wait until I get home, I can get a WHOLE SORT of sexual delights done to me/on me.

And if i'm too tired or lazy for intercourse then getting oral is perfect. Especially if she loves giving it. No work required other than to just "enjoy the ride" so to speak.

If I know I have a source of sexual pleasure in the form of a person around then of course THAT will be my first choice, while masturbation coming in second. But maybe that's just me. Why jerk it when I can get foreplay/submission/requests and the list goes on? It's like having Chick-fil-A connected to your house but you opt to eat the Great Value chicken breasts from Walmart.[/QUOTE]

Have you asked your partner if they masturbate?

 

[Matt Attack]

.

I think I just said "Holy shit" louder then I've ever said it before. Amazing.

 

[John Kowalski]

Masturbating in the shower is terrible. You have to turn away from the shower head(because otherwise it feels terrible like all sex and water activities) and then your legs get dried out and just ugh. Not recommended!

also you can slip and bang your fucking head open like a watermelon

it's a dangerous game

 

[Aselith]

[QUOTE="D";135992386]Yeah but its kinda different when you're married, especially for females. If a guy is watching porn then unless the woman is open minded, they look at it as themselves being inadequate to suit his fantasies or something. It may just be porn to us but you'd be surprised how many women are threatened by knowing their husband/sig other still watches it while having them around.[/QUOTE]

Truly the sweeping generalization of a mature adult person.

 

[BocoDragon]

The bolded is what's expected of anyone. Female itself is a normal word and there's no damper on it, however, when used to refer to women without the situation necessary, it's to demean the female gender. I answered this earlier btw, but I want to make it clear there's a difference between using female where necessary and using it to address women in other instances.

When we see those "females be like..." sayings, it comes off more like insinuating women have problems solely because we are a different gender as if men and women are reserved to single specific traits, nothing shared. We all know it isn't true so, disrespect of the female gender in that regard is really gross and unfounded. That is where people draw the line, not every single time female is used.

Ok then I'm totally with you. I subconsiously just wouldn't use that word because it feels clinical and dehumanizing in everyday situations.

I similarly bristle at statements like "typical male.... (x)"

 

[batrush]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

10/10.

 

[Aselith]

Caught my little sister once when she was in middle school. Closed the laptop lid really fast so I opened it back up and lo and behold. She was embarassed as fuck.

I just told her that its normal and to be careful what sites she goes to.

Why the fuck did you open the laptop

 

["D"]

Truly the sweeping generalization of a mature adult person.

Sarcasm aside, yes its true. It don't apply for every woman out there but its somewhat common, perhaps depending on country or location. I know it isn't a far-fetched idea from personal experience from talking with female friends who might've been experiencing some relationship problems and were open about their sex life to me and just needed to vent.

My own gf even feels that way, although she is more accepting of the idea if she's not around to pleasure me then its like "well get it the best way you can, as long as its not stepping outside of the relationship via another person"

 

[Htown]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

Post of the Year 2014

I mean holy shit

 

[Man God]

For difficult cases of 'morning wood', not every morning, but not like, once a week? I dunno, not a guy, so it's hard for me to know anything other than what I've read/been told.

It's very common in college dorms.

 

[Diablos]

ethics in gaming journalism