Busting a FEMALE masterbating to porn on a laptop/PC...does it exist?
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Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Girl walks in catching her guy jacking it: GROSS!
Guy walks in catching his girl jacking it: CAN I JOIN?
Guy walks in catching his girl jacking it: CAN I JOIN?
Opus Angelorum
Member
My girlfriend loves watching me tug my boat, especially when I cum.
That's what I said!
Girls have it easier when jerking it because they dont have a protruding piece of meat that is a part of the experience. All they gotta do is lift up their hands abnd be like "I'm all good in the hood" guys have to go in the crouchy position and hope to god that the person who caught them isn't looking at the bulge going on
I can understand the punching part, but clown? Why the hell would it be a clown?
Paddling insinuates that an oar is involved...
Ultimadrago
Member
That PhoenixDark post...
I'm done.
DONE!
I'm done.
DONE!
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.
So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...
Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:
-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen
All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.
me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
Her face immediately shifted likeand she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
You are the true GOAT, congrats
Wind's Howling
Member
This entire thread is a thing of beauty.
Tears have been rolling from my eyes because of pure laughter and joy the last couple of pages.
Sunhi's GIF is the cherry on top of the wonderful cream filled cake.
Tears have been rolling from my eyes because of pure laughter and joy the last couple of pages.
Sunhi's GIF is the cherry on top of the wonderful cream filled cake.
Here OP:
Best Answer
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.
So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...
Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:
-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen
All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.
me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
Her face immediately shifted likeand she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
Here OP:
zer0blivion
Member
Here OP:
This is just like that fairy-tale, The Princess and the Cucumber.
FrankCaron
Member
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.
So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...
Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:
-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen
All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.
me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
Her face immediately shifted likeand she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
I will always remember where I was on this day, when another star was added to the skies of the greatest hits archive.
Reizo Ryuu
Member
Here OP:
The ending holy shit I'm rolling.
Wow, that is pretty gross.Here OP:
No vegetables for me now for the next few days until I got this story out of my head. :x
PseudoKirby
Banned
he a member? I just heard him on the adam carolla podcast. why is he all the rage all of a sudden
PhoenixDark
Banned
crossposting from the NFL thread
haha, awesome. He's a Path of Exile fanboy like me.
Thanks everyone. What is life without lols. This thread is full of hilarious posts.
terrisus
Member
She wanted you to have that cat, daddy.
terrisus
Member
Here OP:
The best part is that "cucumber" is an adword.
You know, so people will click it and buy some cucumbers.
D
Deleted member 13876
Unconfirmed Member
Some people might not have known about this use for them yet.
CadetMahoney
Member
FantasticMrFoxdie
Mumber
lmao fuck. Based Sunhi and PD posts got me good.
ShinRPGamer
Member
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.
So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...
Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:
-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen
All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.
me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
Her face immediately shifted likeand she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
Here OP:
Thread of the year!
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.
So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...
Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:
-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen
All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.
me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
Her face immediately shifted likeand she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
Amazing. Still laughing
EmCeeGramr
Member
if you want a remastered telling of this modern classic, please install the first plugin on this page and start from the beginning
edit:
edit:
Lionel Mandrake
Member
Bustin' makes me feel good.
deltatheta
Member
if you want a remastered telling of this modern classic, please install the first plugin on this page and start from the beginning
edit:
I didn't realize that other people read that word this way!
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.
So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...
Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:
-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen
All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.
me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
Her face immediately shifted likeand she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
AMAZING.
terrisus
Member
if you want a remastered telling of this modern classic, please install the first plugin on this page and start from the beginning
edit:
Hot Coldman
Banned
I always knew PD had some hidden potential left in him.
Dictator93
Member
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.
So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...
Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:
-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen
All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.
me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
Her face immediately shifted likeand she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
Stay classy GAF, stay classy.
Here OP:
Someone I knew on facebook just randomly sent me some pics of her with a cucumber "inserted" in herself. I told her "wrong person, I'm sure". Afterwards she just casually messaged "sorry, but save it if you want ;-)." I didn't respond back cause I'm a pretty firm believer in karma and faithful to my lady, but needless to say had I been single...it would have led to a much longer exchange of words.
After a few months, on her page she claimed to have given her life to God and deleted her page and started over with her given name since the page previously was under "Tastylicious" or something like that. I don't even remember how I ended up being a part of her friend list...I think she added me cause we had mutual friends or something to that effect.
Now that I think about it, that message with pics might still be in my inbox
if you want a remastered telling of this modern classic, please install the first plugin on this page and start from the beginning
edit:
Alright I legit laughed out loud
Here OP:
So the Dad stayed and lectured to his bottomless daughter for 5 minutes??
YianGaruga
Banned
Yup. Pretty much zero chance that the story is made up.
PetriP-TNT
Member
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.
So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...
Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:
-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen
All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.
me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
Her face immediately shifted likeand she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
I'll just quote this post again because I have been laughing to it all day today. People must have thought I was crazy when I was laughing so much that I was crying on the bus today
Lionel Mandrake
Member
For those of you just joining us...
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BassForever
Member
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.
So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...
Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:
-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen
All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.
me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
Her face immediately shifted likeand she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
Hahahahahahahaha
/dead
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.
So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...
Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:
-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen
All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.
me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
Her face immediately shifted likeand she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.
So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...
Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:
-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen
All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.
me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
Her face immediately shifted likeand she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
Last line slayed me
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Here OP:
masturbating with a rotting cucumber is probably the worst part.
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.
So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...
Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:
-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen
All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.
me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
Her face immediately shifted likeand she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
GODDAMN. I love you, man.
I really should know by now that when a seemingly stupid thread goes for so long, there is usually a very good reason for it.
You can troll with impunity for all I care now, you earned it.
Dayum.I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.
So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...
Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:
-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen
All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.
me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
Her face immediately shifted likeand she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
You can troll with impunity for all I care now, you earned it.
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.
So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...
Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:
-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen
All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.
me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
Her face immediately shifted likeand she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
You have won the internet. Oh my god I nearly died.
Artofwar420
Member
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.
So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...
Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:
-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen
All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.
me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
Her face immediately shifted likeand she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
PD, that is some Norm McDonald level shit. Masterpiece.
- Status