exmachina64
Banned
Here's a sign for the door:
These are pretty good, btw.
-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Pregnancy Scares
- Thread starter egruntz
- Start date
- Status
These are pretty good, btw.
Two years for her, three years for me.
I know this sounds completely heartless/cold, but being honest, I don't think I want anything to do with a kid. I just can't comprehend that thought. I have no desire or ability to be a dad right now. I just don't. But I love this girl, and I've always had the intention of marrying her and I still will despite this. I won't leave her over this, but I have no idea how to best go about it. I truly think we would be better off in the long run if we waited to have kids when we were financially and emotionally able. We're not able right now. I don't understand why she doesn't see that.
Ugh don't remind me for fuck sakes
Seven Force
Banned
Here's a sign for the door:
Considering OP's circumstances, I really shouldn't have laughed at this as hard as I did at this.
Dr.Guru of Peru
played the long game
Leave her. Its not your kid. No matter what anyone says, its not your kid.
CapitalismSucks DonkeyBalls
Banned
No I didn't. Maybe a 2k pair of ear rings will entice her to getting an abortion and saving their futures.
terrisus
Member
Fair enough. I should say that the post I responded to was missing that in its calculation. Since, it certainly is a noteworthy point - and for that reason.
Welfare
Member
exmachina64
Banned
We have courts that can compel paternity tests.
CapitalismSucks DonkeyBalls
Banned
A point that can't be reiterated enough. A thoughtful gift had led to a kid. I'd take that necklace and return it or destroy it in the fires of Mount Doom.
terrisus
Member
OP should also be aware of the factor that gestational and neonatal care plays in a child's development.
Services such as WIC provide for expecting mothers so that they can provide the baby with what it needs.
Also, other important factors should be considered, such as smoking, alcohol, and stress.
exmachina64
Banned
She does see that, but she's in a situation where she's stressed and her true beliefs are coming out. She might not go to church or follow rules about premarital sex, but she does hold the belief about abortion strongly. It's probably a belief she's been instilled with since childhood.
I've seen enough mixed faith/lapsed Christian couples to know that.
I know you don't want anything to do with a kid, but you're really going to have to think this over. If you're serious about staying together and eventually getting married, that's probably going to include a kid.
Regarding college, it might work financially if one of you drops out.
Depending on what kind of health care plan she's on, neonatal services are covered under Essential Health Benefits of plans that meet ACA standards.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
ok, these are the facts:
you dont want a kid, but you will have one
you want to marry her, and still will despite this.
what you do now is accept you are having a child and to create as little friction between you guys as possible at this point. you're going to have a battle against the parents, as it seems, and you probably would rather have the support of your girlfriend/future wife than not once the shit hits the fan in that regard
the fact is you're going to have to warm up to it if you want to have a good relationship with her, so make the best out of the situation you can. you might turn around once you think it through a little more, but its totally understandable to feel the way you are.
terrisus
Member
Yeah, my study on this predates ACA, so I'm sure there are some good benefits to make use of there as well.
Either way, care from today through the next year+ are extremely critical.
Don't just ignore it until it pops out of there.
Glorified G
Member
You won't feel that way in 9 months. Ask most parents who didn't plan their kids how they felt when they knew they were going to be parents. Most likely the same attitude. As soon as the kid is born it will be the most important gift you've ever had and you'll feel you can't live without him/her. It'll happen.
Sucks for the kid that there will be audio footage archived on the internet of his/her mom swallowing your jizz and thanking you, but outside that, this doesn't seem so bad.
exmachina64
Banned
As long as he doesn't say anything...
terrisus
Member
I can see it now...
"Hey Dad, I just found this new website... Neo Jaff. It seems like a fun place."
"No son, not Neo Jaff. Neo Gaf... Wait... Neo Gaf... NeoGAF... Son... Son!... SON! NO!"
Welfare
Member
The kid will probably thank the OP.
You are not going to find answers here OP, this is something you have to find for yourself.
For her, having an abortion is killing, do you think she will be the same if she does the abortion? This is the kind of stuff that changes people. If she goes through with the abortion and then regrets it she is going to blame you.
If you love her... maybe you should just suck it up.
giancarlo123x
Banned
Happened to me once. For about almost a week straight my ex kept waking up feeling like shit and was throwing up for no reason. We always had unprotected sex(fucking dumb, etc) but were always careful. After a pregnancy test she left it on the floor and made me look at it. It turned out negative. We high fived, fucked, then took a nap. First and last scare.
adamsappel
Member
First thing I'd do is sell that necklace. You're gonna need the cash.
terrisus
Member
"We always had unprotected sex... but were always careful?"
Unprotected?
Time to man up to your deed. There is a reason why this stuff is taught in sex Ed.
Right now focus on saving what little you can and be prepared to be a father. You're really not in a bad situation, you will simply have to learn to adjust. There are others that are in far worse situation than you two and are raising their kid well. Don't be afraid to look for help and support.
Right now focus on saving what little you can and be prepared to be a father. You're really not in a bad situation, you will simply have to learn to adjust. There are others that are in far worse situation than you two and are raising their kid well. Don't be afraid to look for help and support.
exmachina64
Banned
Could be a daughter.
terrisus
Member
giancarlo123x
Banned
Communication and yeah. Like I said, dumb. Not in my life anymore so I don't have to stress her anymore. And I did realize this thread was a few days old and had a exciting story going to it already. Congrats OP.
exmachina64
Banned
Egruntz is worried enough already, terrisus. lol
terrisus
Member
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
CitizenCope
Member
The wife and I also had this happen with the pull out many many years ago. Not smart.
We went the abortion route because of money so I understand your concerns. We actually told our daughter about it when she was 18. She understood and it felt good to talk about as a family.
Good luck OP.
We went the abortion route because of money so I understand your concerns. We actually told our daughter about it when she was 18. She understood and it felt good to talk about as a family.
Good luck OP.
Zippedpinhead
Member
If you love this girl as much as I think you do, then this is happening. Your lady is just as scared and unsure about what is going on as you are. What she wants to hear is that you love her no matter what, and that nothing changes that, baby or otherwise.
Are either of you close to your families? You will need help in the future, with or without your girlfriend. You need to focus on making your self stable and future forward. Once your child is here your life will change.
Also, most of us men feel confused and frightened when our girls say "I think I'm pregnant" or "I'm pregnant".
Lactose_Intolerant
Member
or when she doesn't know why she stopped taking birth control or "thank you" after sex.
You've scared my penis into hibernation, egruntz. It's all the way inside right now. Not coming out again unless I have at least two condoms ready for it.
Good luck. I have friends who got pregnant unintentionally at your age, and most of them are doing alright today. One married the guy and he's a piece of shit, but a couple others are all settled down now. One of them even pooped out 3 more over the next few years. Having a kid kinda forces you to grow up and get your shit together, so you should be alright.
You should get a Vita.
Good luck. I have friends who got pregnant unintentionally at your age, and most of them are doing alright today. One married the guy and he's a piece of shit, but a couple others are all settled down now. One of them even pooped out 3 more over the next few years. Having a kid kinda forces you to grow up and get your shit together, so you should be alright.
You should get a Vita.
Was your wife initially against abortion? If so, how did conversations go about? If not, how soon was it planned in her head that that's what she wanted to do?
I did pull out.
I wouldn't see it as killing, not this early, but she doesn't see the same. I've always known she was kind of picky with what religious beliefs she follows. It's just really weird to me cause out of all of them this one seems to have the most practical impact and usually she makes decisions based on what's better for herself. (Not saying she's selfish, but just in a more survivalist kind of way. If something religious didn't make sense, then forget it basically. But not this?)
RadioJoNES64
Banned
Pulling out isn't safe because iirc women can get pregnant from pre cum. I hope the future is good for you OP.
Perfect example of a time that this should be said.
superdeluxe
Member
Really push for adoption, lay out all the reasons/how difficult it is to have children (I mean she is in school). Good luck.
Yeah, saw that update coming OP. It happens, I created a thread about it too. I found out the same day I got a part time job. So we both had part time jobs. 24 and 23. I'm doing well now for what it's worth. It's doable, so if you're certain you want to be with her, you'll make it happen. That kid needs strong parents.
superdeluxe
Member
Time to suck it up man. You say you love this girl, Step up and be a good father.
Adoption is much different for a woman than a man. She'll be carrying the child for 9 months and she'll have a different kind of attachment. Just giving up the child after birth isn't easy.
It's scary right now. The sooner you both tell your families the better. They're gonna be pissed. But in the long run will most likely be supportive. You're gonna need the help.
superdeluxe
Member
Its natural to have a little fear about being a father man. You just do it and get it done.
Falcs
Banned
egruntz... listen to me very carefully. Give up on abortion. Do not mention it again. It seems pretty clear that she does not want to go down this path. Not to mention her family will most likely be against it. The sooner you accept that this isn't a road that you can go down the better. Let me explain why.
There are two possible outcomes for you:
A: She ends up getting an abortion.
B: She has the baby.
Now if A ends up happening, there are again two possible outcomes:
A1: She ends up deciding on her own that she wants to do this (This is so extremely unlikely that it's not even worth considering).
A2: She ends up doing it, but then ends up regretting it for the rest of her life AND/OR ends up resenting you for the rest of her life.
If B ends up happening, once again there are two possible outcomes:
B1: You accept responsibility, focus on "this is happening, I MUST deal with it" and accept that you will be a dad. Marry her, support her, support the kid, be a father, and have a happy family life.
B2: You break up with her (either now or in the future) and you have to live the rest of your life raising a kid with a broken relationship.
These are the main outcomes and the only ones that end in happiness for both you and her, is A1, and B1. Scenarios A2 and B2 will most likely produce unhappiness for both of you.
Now here's why I said to give up on Abortion.
If you keep mentioning abortion and Scenario A happens, you will most likely end up at A2 (unhappiness), where she will resent you, or she will be depressed... who knows.
If you keep mentioning abortion and scenario B happens, it will be very difficult for her to trust you, it will cause a shit load of drama, and you'll most likely end up at scenario B2.
Now you said you love this girl and you did plan to marry her.. So then accept your fate, be the man/father that she needs you to be. Support her, love her, commit to her and the kid, and aim for the best possible outcome - B1. Live a happy family life.
Use this opportunity to grow in your relationship with your girlfriend. Be there every step of the way during the pregnancy and support her, and you will find that when the child is born you'll love him/her just as much as she does and you'll actually be happy that this all happened!
But you need to stop thinking of yourself, stop thinking about abortion because it'll only make everything shittier, and realise and accept that your life is now about 3 people, not just 1.
Edit: Oh and something very important, if she at some point decided that she will go ahead with adoption, she may change her mind once the child is born no matter how much she might be convinced that she'll do it. There's nothing you can do about this.
It's better that you don't get hung up on it because if you do:
1. You'll be bitterly disappointed and it'll most likely end in scenario B2.
2. If she goes through with the adoption, you'll very likely end up at scenario A2.
Listen to this dude.
Just leave her. Tom Brady did it and he has an entire region of the country worshiping him.
BeforeU
Oft hope is born when all is forlorn.
Dat tag hahahahaha
On serious note, try to convince her for abortion man, if its not possible then tough luck
Listen to falcs.
+ as a dad myself, my daughter is one of the best things that has happened in my life. It may be too soon, but it's happening. Best you see that and start preparing. Support her and be there for your child.
Also, get your GF on prenatal vitamins. Folic acid is super important for the baby.
+ as a dad myself, my daughter is one of the best things that has happened in my life. It may be too soon, but it's happening. Best you see that and start preparing. Support her and be there for your child.
Also, get your GF on prenatal vitamins. Folic acid is super important for the baby.
- Status
Similar threads
- Poll