I disagree. I think the lack of progress may indicate that you are not compatible with this one particular therapist and with that one particular medication.
Perhaps your optimism stems from knowing just how many other options there are out there?
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
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I disagree. I think the lack of progress may indicate that you are not compatible with this one particular therapist and with that one particular medication.
Perhaps your optimism stems from knowing just how many other options there are out there?
Question for people who have had success with SSRIs:
Did the positive effects just all of a sudden "click" one day, or was it kind of a slow build?
The reason I'm curious is because I'm 7 weeks into my SSRIs now and I still haven't noticed any changes. I'm starting to become a little bit skeptical that they're going to work. I'm certainly going to keep taking them because it gives me hope just doing anything that could fix my depression, but I am starting to think they might not be doing anything.
Anyone have any similar experiences?
Also, does anyone else find it just impossible to share about your depression with people in real life? I've really wanted to quite a few times, but haven't been able to do it. Literally the only person not on the internet who I've told about my depression is the doctor.
One of my best friends even has depression and talks to me openly and nonchalantly about it, but I can't even bring myself to tell her. It's pretty weird.
Did the positive effects just all of a sudden "click" one day, or was it kind of a slow build?
The reason I'm curious is because I'm 7 weeks into my SSRIs now and I still haven't noticed any changes. I'm starting to become a little bit skeptical that they're going to work. I'm certainly going to keep taking them because it gives me hope just doing anything that could fix my depression, but I am starting to think they might not be doing anything.
Anyone have any similar experiences?
Also, does anyone else find it just impossible to share about your depression with people in real life? I've really wanted to quite a few times, but haven't been able to do it. Literally the only person not on the internet who I've told about my depression is the doctor.
One of my best friends even has depression and talks to me openly and nonchalantly about it, but I can't even bring myself to tell her. It's pretty weird.
Doctor question:
I went to my General Practitioner/Family doctor with these 3 symptoms:
-constant fatigue
-anxiety
-inability to focus/concentrate
We did extensive blood work, and the results came back great except for a Vitamin D deficiency. So the nurse calls me, tells me to take 3,000iu of D3 daily for 6 months and the Doctor wants a Vitamin D blood check in 6 months. And that was it. It was pretty much "thanks, see ya, goodbye."
Vitamin D deficiency might very well be the reason why I feel tired all the time, but a day later I thought to myself "he didn't even want to follow up on the anxiety and focusing stuff".
Should I bail out and see another doctor? Or just revisit the same one with the same symptoms?
Edit: also, would I be better off going straight to a psychiatrist?
I went to my General Practitioner/Family doctor with these 3 symptoms:
-constant fatigue
-anxiety
-inability to focus/concentrate
We did extensive blood work, and the results came back great except for a Vitamin D deficiency. So the nurse calls me, tells me to take 3,000iu of D3 daily for 6 months and the Doctor wants a Vitamin D blood check in 6 months. And that was it. It was pretty much "thanks, see ya, goodbye."
Vitamin D deficiency might very well be the reason why I feel tired all the time, but a day later I thought to myself "he didn't even want to follow up on the anxiety and focusing stuff".
Should I bail out and see another doctor? Or just revisit the same one with the same symptoms?
Edit: also, would I be better off going straight to a psychiatrist?
Astral Dog
Member
What are you on? When I took some, it was Lexapro and wellbutrin. Lexapro took a while to work especially by itself while wellbutrin was much faster when my psychiatric added it later. You're almost two months on them, but feel absolutely no change? I'd ask your doctor if I was in your place.
It slowly built up for me with Lexapro until I didn't need it about a year later and then slowly started to lower the dose with my psychiatric's advice until I was completely off it. Your doctor might change the dosage or tell you to wait a bit. No harm in asking though. Oh and never get off them cold turkey.
Also, I don't find not telling others about your depression as weird. Some people's reactions may add unnecessary stress or overthinking although that friend of yours who is sharing with you might be a good person to talk and share with about this kind of thing.
Reminds me of when I had insomnia for too long and the general doctor gave me sleeping tips and papers about how to sleep better and to only use my bed to sleep or sex. My reaction could be summed up as ".........."
See a psychiatrist. Someone who will actually hear what you're saying.
T
thepotatoman
Unconfirmed Member
I'm glad it could help.Interesting, I do that all the time. In my case I have constant discussions and debates with people (imaginated discourse), stuff like confrontations play an important role 'in my head'.
It connects with social anxiety when I imagine people backstabbing or betraying me, adding up to my already low trust in other people.
Thanks for posting this
You're fighting the thought pattern, not the emotion. That's why I like the addiction comparison. When you're craving something, you can't command the craving to go away, but you can command yourself to not feed that craving by giving into it. The cravings will die down by themselves over time by virtue of you not feeding them what they want.
I'm allowed to feel any emotions my mind and body wants to feel, but I'm not allowed to try to read minds to figure out how people think of me. The moment I notice myself analyzing past events in a negative way is the moment I focus on thinking "analyzing that past situation and its possible consequences is not allowed", repeatedly telling myself that until my mind gives up and puts me on another train of thought I am allowed to be on. The emotions are something that are just along for the ride.
I suppose what you tell yourself to distract yourself from the bad train of thought is up to you, but I think that's the wording that works best for me. I like "not allowed" because I like the anti-rumination thought being louder than my rumination thoughts, and I personally don't perceive it as a negative towards me personally. There's nothing negative in saying I'm not allowed to continue partaking in a bad habit that I want to get rid of.
Maybe telling yourself something like "that is rumination, and you don't want to do that" or "this is the time to think about xyz, not ruminating" or "wouldn't you rather think about something else" would be better phrases to use. Hell, even "that is rumination, therefore it's time to think about puppies" if it gets you to stop ruminating. Anything to cut off rumination as early and as often as possible.
Again, remember these are trains of thought we're talking about changing, not emotions. You might be anxious as hell for a long time as you force yourself to think about puppies, not feeling the happiness you usually feel when you think about them, but as long as you're not negatively overanalyzing situations from the past, you're making progress. I suppose that's why I don't like saying "think of puppies instead" because anxiously thinking about puppies is weird, and can easily seem like you're not doing it right if you're still anxious after switching your train of thought to puppies, even though you are doing it right.
I'm not really sure how one can start slow here. You'll make mistakes, but even with mistakes, quitting cold turkey is still what you're actively doing. It's a little different from something like training yourself to stop avoiding stressful situations, where you do have to start small and train yourself up to doing the harder stuff.
pixelation
Member
Yeah, what irked me the most is that i intended to have some pizza from this flea market that i really happen to like, but since it was raining it was closed, oh and i wasn't able to do my daily jog and go train. But yeah the cake was quite tasty!!!
Yes.
It seemed like a good fit for me given that I hate memorizing music and I'm an excellent sight reader. When I was working, I became notorious for being able to play anything that people put in front of me. It was enjoyable work when all the cards stacked up right. When they didn't stack up right, they became "take the paycheck and run" gigs. But then, I suppose we all have those. I miss it a lot. I was great with singers. Everyone said they loved me. Maybe that's the part I miss the most. 
I don't know, bro. A lot of it depends on your tolerance for the age group you're going to be working with. I'm terrible with kids so I personally dodge working with them. Teenagers might be easier but they're also teenagers.
Would you be comfortable being straightforward about your concerns about mental health issues? It's possible that the doctor assumed that because you didn't say anything about your mental health you didn't have any issues. Of course it would've been much better of him to inquire about that, but since he didn't perhaps it would've been good to be straightforward. I'm only going off of anecdotal evidence here (from around the web and based on my own experience) but I think most doctors are pretty willing to prescribe medication for mental health issues if you say you want it.
If you have the means to go to a psychiatrist, that'd probably be a better bet, but if going to a primary care physician is more do-able, you should be able to get the help you need there as well.
Thank you for the advice on both points. I really appreciate the response.
I'm on Lexapro (well, the generic, Escitalopram) as well. Not on Wellbutrin though.
And I'm pretty sure I feel absolutely no change. It's hard to say for sure since the side effects at the beginning increased my depression. I'm obviously feeling better than I was when the side effects were in full effect, but I'm pretty sure I don't feel any better than before I started taking them. At least not noticeably.
Thanks for the advice about calling the doctor. I have another blood test looking into low testosterone, so I might wait until the low testosterone situation is sorted out before looking into changing meds or anything because that could be the cause of my depression (in which case no anti-depressants would do anything). Until then I'll just keep taking them since it does give me some comfort knowing I'm doing something. So yeah, I definitely won't be quitting cold turkey.
I'm glad to hear Lexapro worked for you and that you felt good enough to get off of it though! That's really great.
And thanks for the advice regarding telling people about my depression. That's kind of the view I have as well. I feel like telling people could do more harm than good in most cases. And I also think it would probably be good to tell the friend who has shared with me... but it's nearly impossible for me to bring myself to say anything. Oh well. It's not super important that I tell anyone, so it's not that big of a deal. I was mostly just curious about other people's thoughts/experiences, so thank you!
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
Sleep hygiene is a legitimate strategy.
You know, ever since I wrote that post yesterday about how I don't think my meds are having any effect, I've been thinking about it more closely and I actually do think I've made subtle improvements. Nothing major, but I do think I've had slight improvements in most of the areas I was struggling. It's still hard to say for sure since it's all relative and subjective, but yeah.
User 479360
Banned
I've told people that I've never had a panic attack, but that may not be true. Maybe I just don't know how to classify a panic attack.
I went to Walmart in my boxer pants and a t-shirt, with a female friend. I was staying over there for the night and just wore those. I brought new clothes for the next day, though.
Anyways, she wanted to go get pop out of the blue and said I looked fine, so we quickly went to Walmart to get some. I was really nervous and anxious about going in there in my pajamas, even at night and in another town that I don't live in, but I did it. I just kept worrying that people were looking at me and judging me, and she told me to calm down.
To her, that was a panic attack. Just not a full blown one. A mild one.
Is that true? Because, if that's all it takes to classify a panic attack, I've had a lot of them.
I went to Walmart in my boxer pants and a t-shirt, with a female friend. I was staying over there for the night and just wore those. I brought new clothes for the next day, though.
Anyways, she wanted to go get pop out of the blue and said I looked fine, so we quickly went to Walmart to get some. I was really nervous and anxious about going in there in my pajamas, even at night and in another town that I don't live in, but I did it. I just kept worrying that people were looking at me and judging me, and she told me to calm down.
To her, that was a panic attack. Just not a full blown one. A mild one.
Is that true? Because, if that's all it takes to classify a panic attack, I've had a lot of them.
Yeah, I agree that it is legitimate and works. However, it wasn't what I was struggling with at the time. Back then, I would be in bed for hours every night at the same time without falling asleep. Add depression and tons of college studies then it becomes really problematic.
Reading your other post, I'm glad that you seem to have it figured out for what you want to do about it. If the low testosterone turns out to be real, then yeah, it will change things a lot.
I'm not surprised that they are very subtle changes. The side effects from Lexapro kick in almost immediately while the positives take a while. Either way, good luck!
Daydreaming about quitting this job and practicing piano tuning full-time so that I can do that as a job.
Most days I wonder if I'm just wasting a year of my life at this mind-numbingly boring job. I know that it's going to be very helpful for me long-term since it will really help my resume and the extra money in savings will be very helpful, but then I wonder if it's worth sacrificing a year of my life to do that. Then I remember that I probably wouldn't be doing anything much more useful with my life if I did quit, and either way I'm still in the process of getting better, so if I'm going to be struggling I might as well be making money while I'm struggling.
That kind of thought process goes through my head pretty much on a daily basis at this job.
Thanks for the well wishes and replies!
Most days I wonder if I'm just wasting a year of my life at this mind-numbingly boring job. I know that it's going to be very helpful for me long-term since it will really help my resume and the extra money in savings will be very helpful, but then I wonder if it's worth sacrificing a year of my life to do that. Then I remember that I probably wouldn't be doing anything much more useful with my life if I did quit, and either way I'm still in the process of getting better, so if I'm going to be struggling I might as well be making money while I'm struggling.
That kind of thought process goes through my head pretty much on a daily basis at this job.
Thanks for the well wishes and replies!
Does anyone have experience with taking a break from medication or coming off it entirely? I ask because I'm currently on my 4th medication and admittedly the trial and error is wearing me a bit thin to the point where I'm a bit confused as to where the effects of the medication end and where my natural feelings begin.
My situation has changed a lot for the better since before I was taking medication - new job, house, city, etc - so I'm wondering if I can manage on my own unassisted. Generally I don't feel the same severe lows as I did pre-medication, but merely hover around neutral most of the time (which is the reason I'm considering taking a break - I have yet to experience that definitive "lightbulb turning on" moment that my doctor describes I would feel if it was working).
My situation has changed a lot for the better since before I was taking medication - new job, house, city, etc - so I'm wondering if I can manage on my own unassisted. Generally I don't feel the same severe lows as I did pre-medication, but merely hover around neutral most of the time (which is the reason I'm considering taking a break - I have yet to experience that definitive "lightbulb turning on" moment that my doctor describes I would feel if it was working).
QuantumZebra
Member
I feel there is a mental placebo in effect with medications (be they ADHD, anti-anxiety, etc...)
Try finding herbal/natural remedies that assist with what you take medication for, and use those to replace it. Then quit taking the herbal ones for a bit after a while. It will make the transition easier.
I did it with adderal -> caffeine/st. john's wort/ginkgo -> just occasional tea/st john's
Regarding the placebo effect, to be clear, there are many studies showing that these medications are more effective than a placebo. There may be some placebo effect at work, but there's also real/non-placebo effects. That's probably what you meant, but I'm just clearing that up.
To add to this - and I'm not recommending you do go off your medications necessarily Mr. F, but if you do decide to - remember not to go cold turkey. I would definitely talk to your doctor before doing anything.
Also worth noting that a lot of herbal/natural remedies don't have proven effects (St. John's Wort in particular). If it's working for you, then by all means go for it, but just fair warning.
She's just had bad experiences with doctors and paints a broad brush about it. I dunno what her hang up is about medication specifically...besides just the general "It's bad to rely on them / it hurts your body" crap some believe?
My older sibling sought therapy and got medication and my mom gave so much flack about it. Like "how do you know the medication really works" "that diagnosis sounds like bullshit, you just don't try enough!" And my dad didn't really do anything about it. Maybe he told them on the side "Just try to ignore your mom," but I saw nothing. My mom has some mental hang ups of her own that she denies (she's the type to shove all her problems onto other people), so...she's a mixed bag of fun is what I'm saying.
I do intend to try the counselor services here during the fall but for now I'm really stuck. My grades are falling and I don't have time in my schedule to retake anything if I fail so it's tough. I just got a 68 on an exam yesterday that's supposed to be easy, and it was open book....blegh.
Oh yeah, I know all about the pitfalls of cold turkey. Definitely would opt to wean off gradually. I'm planning to speak to my doc one way or the other, just something that came to mind to consider, especially since I don't entirely feel like myself while on medication but at the same time don't feel I'm getting enough of the benefits for that to be worth it.
Okay, cool! Just making sure!
And I gotcha. That sounds like a good reason to at least give going off medication a try. Worst case scenario you realize there are benefits to the medication and so it is worth it to not feel entirely yourself since it's better then the alternative. And best case scenario is obviously that you don't need meds anymore!
Since your external circumstances have improved significantly, there is a pretty decent chance that you're doing well enough that you won't need your meds anymore.
Either way, best of luck! I'm glad things have improved for you enough that you're looking to come off your meds!
Astral Dog
Member
Im waiting to see a psychiatrist, i hope he can help me, been a rollercoaster these past days, sometimes i feel sad, or angry, or could be crying, or even happy, recently i have been thinking about suicide, wich is something that has not happened in years.
Whatever, went out with some classmates today for awhile,a new team, they were asking questions about me, family, sex, hobbies, etc.
ugh, i feel disgusted, i hate talking about myself, i dont like to talk about my family, or me, or problems, etc. its just very difficult, i need to be the one starting a conversation. and just "feel" like doing it, i was just starting to open to my old team and they left.:/
Im not going to continue at that school in a month, but i dont know how to deal with this, i figured talking with my new team was going to be of help, but its kinda stressful, i want to tell them that i cant hang out with them, but its rude? or should i try to talk with them more?
Whatever, went out with some classmates today for awhile,a new team, they were asking questions about me, family, sex, hobbies, etc.
ugh, i feel disgusted, i hate talking about myself, i dont like to talk about my family, or me, or problems, etc. its just very difficult, i need to be the one starting a conversation. and just "feel" like doing it, i was just starting to open to my old team and they left.:/
Im not going to continue at that school in a month, but i dont know how to deal with this, i figured talking with my new team was going to be of help, but its kinda stressful, i want to tell them that i cant hang out with them, but its rude? or should i try to talk with them more?
Well, at least my eye is making rapid recovery, 90% of patients do not see so clearly until 3rd month after surgery and I totally shocked my doctor and probably they will include me into science article 
Otherwise very shitty week...constant arguing at work and at home..my head is so full that I think that I will have another breakdown soon
good thing is that I have three days off now and Blind Guardian concert on Thursday evening \m/
Otherwise very shitty week...constant arguing at work and at home..my head is so full that I think that I will have another breakdown soon
good thing is that I have three days off now and Blind Guardian concert on Thursday evening \m/So I met this girl bouldering last week and I saw her again last night. I really like her and I'm pretty certain she likes me too.
This kind of thing is already overwhelming for perfectly healthy people, so for me it's frustratingly overwhelming mentally. Can't seem to think about anything else and I don't necessarily enjoy being able to think about nothing else. It sounds pretty ridiculous being annoyed about this kind of thing. Haha
With that said, this is the first girl I've liked in probably three years. My very low libido due to depression and/or low testosterone makes this kind of thing a rare occurrence. So I guess it can only be a positive thing that I'm interested in a girl.
It also feels pretty nice to think that a girl is interested in me. WIth my low self-esteem/self-confidence it's pretty hard to comprehend that. But I was noticing that she seemed to like me and my two other good friends I was bouldering with who are level-headed and sincere people told me (without me even mentioning that I liked this girl) that they thought she liked me.
I'll probably see her again when I go bouldering tomorrow, but until then I'll have to deal with these unending thoughts in my head that I can't do anything about until then.
Anyways, I feel kind of silly sharing this, but I can't really help but want to talk about it.
This kind of thing is already overwhelming for perfectly healthy people, so for me it's frustratingly overwhelming mentally. Can't seem to think about anything else and I don't necessarily enjoy being able to think about nothing else. It sounds pretty ridiculous being annoyed about this kind of thing. Haha
With that said, this is the first girl I've liked in probably three years. My very low libido due to depression and/or low testosterone makes this kind of thing a rare occurrence. So I guess it can only be a positive thing that I'm interested in a girl.
It also feels pretty nice to think that a girl is interested in me. WIth my low self-esteem/self-confidence it's pretty hard to comprehend that. But I was noticing that she seemed to like me and my two other good friends I was bouldering with who are level-headed and sincere people told me (without me even mentioning that I liked this girl) that they thought she liked me.
I'll probably see her again when I go bouldering tomorrow, but until then I'll have to deal with these unending thoughts in my head that I can't do anything about until then.
Anyways, I feel kind of silly sharing this, but I can't really help but want to talk about it.
Yes.
Damn, I really envy that. More than anything I want good sight-reading skills, both vocally and on the piano. It's so practical and so often under-valued.
I don't know, bro. A lot of it depends on your tolerance for the age group you're going to be working with. I'm terrible with kids so I personally dodge working with them. Teenagers might be easier but they're also teenagers.
Turns out that every age group has its ups and downs. I'm taking an Elementary Ed class in the fall that'll involve some field work in Elementary schools, so hopefully that'll give me some perspective. I've already spent quite a bit of a time in middle and high schools.
For me it's usually a slow build, though there is a sort of "click" on the first day I notice a difference. That being said when a medicine wasn't right for me there wasn't a build or a click, just an onset of side effects. If you haven't noticed anything at all (or just very little, as your later post said) the medication might not be for you. Even within SSRIs/SNRIs there is a lot of variability in what will work and not work for you.
If it's been seven weeks with no noticeable improvement it might be time to consult with the doctor again. Before you switch, though, it's worth thinking through / writing down all of the ways it makes you feel different, even if it doesn't make you feel better, and the side effects you got, as it's information your doctors will want to use in making medication decisions going forward.
A few years ago I started keeping a log of every different medication regimen I've been on and how they affected me and the doctors I've seen really appreciated it when it came time to make medication decisions.
What sorts of subtle improvements? More relaxed? Happier? Or just more "neutral"?
I would call that anxiety, not a panic attack.
Panic attacks have a defined set of symptoms and are characterized by their sudden, extreme onset. That being said I've also heard panic attack used to refer to "existential panic" which is less physiological, and more a sudden, extreme existential crisis, where your mood suddenly and extremely swings into total and complete hopelessness.
These days I try to describe the former as panic attack and the latter as "existential panic" or "existential crisis" so I'm clear with those I'm speaking with.
First of all, you know how to tune pianos?! That's so freaking cool.
I don't think it's quite accurate to think of it as a total waste. Obviously you're getting paid, but beyond that, you're gaining insight into what you do and don't want to do and what you do and don't need out of a job. You wouldn't be having this train of thought and considering what career path makes the most sense for you were it not for this job. Maybe it'll feel like a waste if you stay there forever just ruminating on how much you dislike it, but I think there's probably a positive way to engage with it, at least for a while.
I can't really weigh on with many specifics because I don't know your situation or medications, but in my experience not every medication has a "lightbulb" moment. Something like LexaPro, which I'm on currently, just sort of phased in over a few weeks and I noticed myself not bottoming out nearly as low as I did before and staying more stable in general.
I'm of the camp that believes that you're losing very little by taking the medication, particularly if you're not having significant side effects, so if you have something that can support you in feeling better even if it's not CAUSING you to feel better, why not keep taking it and keep feeling better? Plus it's often not realistic to expect a medication to just flip the whole script and bring you back to the light - mental health, as you've noticed, is tied to circumstance as well as chemistry.
Or perhaps stopping your medication for a short while will be illuminating. At a few points in my life I didn't realize how much my medication was doing (and what, precisely, it was doing) until it was gone for a spell.
Either way, please, please, please, please do not change your medications without consulting a doctor.
There is always some placebo effect in receiving attentive care and medication, but the efficacy of psychiatric medications is greater than placebo. They are not placebos.
And I, personally, would strongly, strongly recommend not doing this. Generally not a good idea.
Even if your dad doesn't do anything about it talking to him may give you a sense of support within your family that will allow you to stand up to your mother and seek treatment. Could you talk to your sibling who sought therapy also? If you feel like you have the support of multiple folks within your family it may still be possible to seek treatment. One would hope your mother cannot hold your mental health hostage.
Do you hate talking about yourself because there's a lot of hurt and it's difficult to talk about, or because you feel uncomfortable and insecure about what you say, or because of social anxiety? Or is it something else entirely?
Well, at least my eye is making rapid recovery, 90% of patients do not see so clearly until 3rd month after surgery and I totally shocked my doctor and probably they will include me into science article
Otherwise very shitty week...constant arguing at work and at home..my head is so full that I think that I will have another breakdown soon
Glad to hear that things are looking better
har har har
Because it's exciting! It's invigorating! As long as you can keep it positive, keep enjoying the energy!
Thanks for the advice!
Keeping a log of how the medication affects me is a very good idea too. Thanks for sharing that.
I still think I'll probably stick it out a little longer and see what happens with the low testosterone thing before going through the process of starting a new anti-depressant. And I also kind of want to see if I notice any more improvement. I mean, I went through all the pain of the side effects, I want to give it a reasonable shot before giving up on it. I'll definitely talk to my doctor about switching medications if I continue to not really feel a difference though.
It's hard to say if I'm more relaxed, happier, or any other general term like that because it's hard for me to look at that kind of thing and compare how I felt on average at two points in time, if that makes sense.
However, the main things I've been able to tell the difference in are very specific things. For example, walking up the stairs to work I used to just feel so weak (I'm in shape, so it's not like that's the issue, it was purely mental) and it would be a major struggle. That's not a problem at all anymore. And I haven't been noticing that "everything is a chore" feeling like I used to. And I haven't been dreading work as much as I used to; in fact, I've been able to enjoy it some days now (though that could possibly be down to getting to know my coworkers better). Just some minor, specific stuff like that that's a little easier to compare between now and before I started meds.
I've also just noticed a tiny bit more general stability in my mood. I haven't had any huge depressive moods in quite a while, probably ever since the first week or two of the side effects.
There definitely hasn't been any sort of "lightbulb moment" or anything along those lines though. Everything still feels the same, it's just when I really think about it that I realize I'm probably better now than I was. So yeah, subtle improvements I guess.
Thanks! I just got into it recently. It's something I wanted to do for a while but I finally bought a piano tuning kit and started tuning my own piano (though I'd like to start tuning other people's pianos soon). I really enjoy it. It's pretty tricky but very satisfying.
And thank you so much for the perspective. That does really help.
Haha yeah, true. Thanks!
Go on and invite her for a drink. You have nothing to lose and do not rush, take it slow.
I am extra careful around ladies now, learned a hard lesson with last relationship. To be honest, I will probably stay single for some (quite some) time.
Glad to hear that things are looking betterhar har har
Yeah, as I said, at least something good this week. Plus I got a cold, my nose is full and my throat still hurts.
I hate the responses I got when I talk to friends and family about possibly having depression. Advice that does nothing but make me hate feeling like this more and more, I know there are worse problems in the world than being depressed. Maybe I should just feel shitty for feeling shitty and being affected by it I guess. I hate this. I don't even like talking about personal stuff. It feels easier to just lie to them about how I feel, since it seems like all the "help" I get just makes me more upset. Better to just act happy and joke, than be depressed and bring people down.
I'm definitely a "take it very slow" type of guy (probably to a fault), so that will be the easy part. Haha. I just plan to get to know her at the bouldering gym more first before asking her out or anything, since that will be the most easy and comfortable way of going about things and it seems like we'll be going on the same days anyways, so I'll probably see her quite a bit from now on.
Thanks for the advice! I hope you're able to come back from your last relationship okay.
blast processed
Member
Went back to work yesterday after almost 3 weeks of being out from my panic attacks. I was only there for about 3 hours, started off pretty shaky thinking I was going to have to leave because I started breathing heavy and was getting anxious. I didn't want to push so I left after awhile.
Today was better I was in more of a go-getter attitude when I went in and stayed for 6 hours. Tomorrow I'll try a full day and see what happens.
I haven't had any panic attacks since Saturday so heres hoping.
Today was better I was in more of a go-getter attitude when I went in and stayed for 6 hours. Tomorrow I'll try a full day and see what happens.
I haven't had any panic attacks since Saturday so heres hoping.
Gray Matter
Member
There are days, weeks (like this week so far) where I feel fine.
I think I'm mildly depressed, I'm not entirely happy with my life although a lot of things are going well. I have a job, my bills get paid, I can help out my mom financially, but everything keeps coming back to the same thing, I'm lonely. I hang out with the same 2 friends on occasions, while I love them, our friendship is getting dull. All we do is go out to a restaurant, eat, talk and that's it, sometimes we do something else, but that rarely happens. It also doesn't help that we have very few things in common hobbies wise. And then there's the personal side, like I mentioned in my previous post, not having a romantic relationship with someone really sucks, to put it lightly. Sometimes I forget about it, but it's always there in my head.
I think I'm mildly depressed, I'm not entirely happy with my life although a lot of things are going well. I have a job, my bills get paid, I can help out my mom financially, but everything keeps coming back to the same thing, I'm lonely. I hang out with the same 2 friends on occasions, while I love them, our friendship is getting dull. All we do is go out to a restaurant, eat, talk and that's it, sometimes we do something else, but that rarely happens. It also doesn't help that we have very few things in common hobbies wise. And then there's the personal side, like I mentioned in my previous post, not having a romantic relationship with someone really sucks, to put it lightly. Sometimes I forget about it, but it's always there in my head.
pixelation
Member
Perhaps you lack a bit of self-confidence?, i've seen you post pictures in Face-Gaf and you are one good looking guy. I can relate to your post entirely though...
So I just turned 21 and the thing is that I'm 21 and have done nothing with my life, no college, no car. Just wasting time by staying in this house because i'm scared, I lack courage and have nobody to blame but myself and just don't know what to do, I have no money for college even though college seems like my only hope to get a life since I can't find a job . I would say that i'm trying little by little but i'm still waiting, before my next birthday I want to be happy and at least have something by then that can lead to me getting it together. Sucks knowing that your 21 and seeing what other 21 year olds have accomplished so far, most have nice looking cars and all I have is generic shoes to go walking on the sidewalk. I believe
I was in the same boat around your age. (look at the date, then go to last page)
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172860
Anyway, I think you should keep these two things in mind.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others: This will totally cripple you if you let it. You're not them, and they're not you. You don't know what their experiences were or what they've done, and it shouldn't affect like this. The best thing you can do with these feelings is turn them into something positive. If you feel like you haven't done much yet, then go do something. Anything, really. Be more productive.
2. You're 21: You are in your second year of your twenties, you're still in the beginning of adulthood. In the U.S.A, you're legally allowed to consume alcohol, yet you're not old enough to rent a car. You're still a kid, and you have plenty of time to find your way.
You really need to change your outlook. You have more opportunities than you realize.
I've been facing some serious depressions as for the late regarding not knowing what I want to do in the future as I haven't really accomplished anything to be proud of in a long time, my girlfriend leaving me for another person making me feel incredibly unattractive and ugly, and I've come to realize that I have nobody to trust or talk to about any of these problems who doesn't make me feel like they are judging me on the side.
I feel so incredibly worthless, forgettable and replaceable. I haven't slept properly for days, recently started harming myself and have been dealing more and more severe wounds to myself, and I just feel overall it wouldn't matter if one day I go overboard, and at this point I am terrified of myself but it's all overshadowed by a general lack of care about what I'll end up doing to myself.
I've tried calling a suicide hotline to talk about any of these things hoping there might be some perspective they could provide me, but I know for people like that it is tough to be much more than just a person sitting there and listening when there are so many others calling in with their share of individual problems as well, so I know you guys might laugh at me for the thought of it but if you guys handled any of these problems before I could really use some insight right now since I have no idea anymore what I am doing with myself.
I feel so incredibly worthless, forgettable and replaceable. I haven't slept properly for days, recently started harming myself and have been dealing more and more severe wounds to myself, and I just feel overall it wouldn't matter if one day I go overboard, and at this point I am terrified of myself but it's all overshadowed by a general lack of care about what I'll end up doing to myself.
I've tried calling a suicide hotline to talk about any of these things hoping there might be some perspective they could provide me, but I know for people like that it is tough to be much more than just a person sitting there and listening when there are so many others calling in with their share of individual problems as well, so I know you guys might laugh at me for the thought of it but if you guys handled any of these problems before I could really use some insight right now since I have no idea anymore what I am doing with myself.
Gray Matter
Member
You're right, I have a self confidence issue, for a long time now.
RoyaleDuke
Banned
Checking in because it's been awhile and I finally got to see the psychologist for meds.
Good news and bad news there, she gave me a prescription for my nightmares(Cyproheptadine) but she wants to wait to see the results of my bloodwork that I did for my regular doctor because he is prescribing me new SRA and Fibro meds and she doesn't want to give me something that will have a bad chemical reaction with whatever pills she decides to prescribe.
She says that she would like to start me on Lithium, which I've been on before and thorazine, but that's all pending my blood test results and which SRA medication my doctor decides to put me on(he is also thinking about signing the paper work for an MMJ red card on top of the nedications).
I feel okay today, really exhausted and I hurt all over. Last night I had another breakdown, and I didn't get to sleep much.
Good news and bad news there, she gave me a prescription for my nightmares(Cyproheptadine) but she wants to wait to see the results of my bloodwork that I did for my regular doctor because he is prescribing me new SRA and Fibro meds and she doesn't want to give me something that will have a bad chemical reaction with whatever pills she decides to prescribe.
She says that she would like to start me on Lithium, which I've been on before and thorazine, but that's all pending my blood test results and which SRA medication my doctor decides to put me on(he is also thinking about signing the paper work for an MMJ red card on top of the nedications).
I feel okay today, really exhausted and I hurt all over. Last night I had another breakdown, and I didn't get to sleep much.
It sounds like your medication is at least moderately effective, just perhaps not as effective as you were hoping for. You're right that it makes sense to wait out the other results before jumping around to other medications. I do hope you keep us posted.
Wait WHAT? You can buy piano tuning kits?
(looks on Amazon)
Whoa. The question is, do I have the guts to toy around with my parents' piano?
I certainly don't have the balls to go messing with the pianos at school!
Sometimes advice from others can be helpful, sometimes it can just cement how much we feel that they don't understand our problems or the magnitude of our suffering. Hopefully you're able to take some solace in the fact that they care, even if their caring isn't translating into words that you find useful or supportive. Have you considered seeking medical treatment? A doctor could help you sort out whether you're depressed and what to do about it.
Also, there is no sense in comparing our suffering, our problems to the suffering and problems of others. There will always be better and there will always be worse. What matters is that it's significant to you - that alone makes it significant, generally.
Progress! I hope today went smoothly.
It sounds as if you're hoping for a shake-up in several parts of your life. Rest assured there are many more potential friends out there and many exciting aspects of life yet to be surveyed. It could help to catalog a few of the main things you're dissatisfied with about your life / lifestyle and then directly brainstorm methods for changing them. Do you think you'll be able to find the motivation to do so, or has the malaise sapped you of that energy?
I'm sorry you're suffering, Dunkley. No doubt the breakup is casting a long shadow over your emotions. I've been in some dark places that may have been similar, a couple specifically from breakups. Have you considered seeking mental health treatment?
I'm glad to hear that you're making progress, however incremental it may feel. Those increments do add up.
That being said, I'm sorry you had a rough night, man. Hopefully you're able to sleep more soundly tonight. Keep us posted.
<3
Gray Matter
Member
I think it has, I've been feeling alone (as my post described) for so long that I don't see it even changing, but that's my own fault because I don't actively try to change, because every time I try, it just never works out.
pixelation
Member
We are in a very similar situation it would seem.
And additionally, I've pretty much been having all good days since Friday I think. It could just be an abnormality, like one of those random good weeks I used to get every once in a while, but it could also be the meds taking effect. Either way, it's been pretty awesome actually having good days again.
So yeah, not to jinx it or be speaking too soon, but the meds could possibly be kicking in pretty well now.
I'll definitely keep posting updates!
Yeah! Though fair warning, piano tuning kits are one of those things that you really get what you pay for. If you are interested, you'd probably want to spend at least $100 on a kit or else you're just going to get frustrated trying to tune a piano with awful tools.
Also, this book is HIGHLY recommended. After reading just the chapters on tuning (the majority of the giant book is full of how to repair and restore pianos, which I'd love to also learn how to do), I felt confident enough to tune my piano and not mess anything up. It gives you ways to practice so that you start off really slow and don't do anything bad or unfixable.
If you're interested, I'd really recommend getting into it! I really enjoy it, and it's just something that's really nice to know how to do. Now whenever I'm playing piano and there's one note that's a little off and is bugging me, I just open up the piano and fix it real quick.
Anyways, if you have any questions or anything, feel free to PM me about it!
Gray Matter
Member
How so?
MisterLuffy
Member
My last final is tomorrow. I hope I do at least decent but knowing that I did bad on the quizzes and midterm, my chances of passing c++ course are slim. I'm not happy that summer break is here since it means I'm going to be at home all day, and being pestered in finding a job. I do want to find a job so I could earn money and save for something I want or need. Seeing that pick up thread at the game forums made me want a job so I can buy things I want. But knowing me, I'm picky with jobs and I hate dealing with customers. Even though I have to deal with them, I don't want my mistakes to be the reason why they yell at me. I make so many mistakes, repeatedly without learning. I do want to succeed and make my life better, but I'm struggling with myself. I'm preventing myself from succeeding.
Various Artists
Banned
Honest question. Should I tell my work and boss about my depression? Most resources I've read seem to lead to no.
@Piano: I don't really go to my sibling for help cause they were pretty abusive to me in the past. I would try to forgive them because they were young and they're still family and such...but they deny doing anything. So I felt it was healthier to just let them fade from my life for the moment. :/ Maybe try to patch things up when we're both in a better place mentally.
School is my biggest stress so I think I will be fine during the summer break and can just wait until fall break to seek aid at the school. Is that really so bad, to wait? Because the way I see it, I live so far from home, that it would be too much trouble to set up a therapist at home and then leave during the fall to go back to school. Just hoping I don't screw up my grades this quarter and making friends next school year is easier.
IMO...I think it works? It doesn't help when I'm at a really low depressive episode, but if there's a particular thing really bothering me in life, I'll try to lie to myself about it positively, and if I keep at it and try to stop thinking about the negative, I end up feeling better about the situation. It's basically a placebo effect.
I think the important thing is that you're not dwelling on the negative. Instead you're focusing your thoughts on the positive, so it perks up your mood a little. But it definitely won't work right away. You have to keep at it. What helps for me is, if I have a negative thought, I pause and question why I'm having that thought, and if it's really true. And get some perspective, like..."If my friend was in this situation, would I be telling them what I'm telling myself right now?"
Unfortunately that's really hard to do when in a low, low mood.
School is my biggest stress so I think I will be fine during the summer break and can just wait until fall break to seek aid at the school. Is that really so bad, to wait? Because the way I see it, I live so far from home, that it would be too much trouble to set up a therapist at home and then leave during the fall to go back to school. Just hoping I don't screw up my grades this quarter and making friends next school year is easier.
IMO...I think it works? It doesn't help when I'm at a really low depressive episode, but if there's a particular thing really bothering me in life, I'll try to lie to myself about it positively, and if I keep at it and try to stop thinking about the negative, I end up feeling better about the situation. It's basically a placebo effect.
I think the important thing is that you're not dwelling on the negative. Instead you're focusing your thoughts on the positive, so it perks up your mood a little. But it definitely won't work right away. You have to keep at it. What helps for me is, if I have a negative thought, I pause and question why I'm having that thought, and if it's really true. And get some perspective, like..."If my friend was in this situation, would I be telling them what I'm telling myself right now?"
Unfortunately that's really hard to do when in a low, low mood.
Shit shit shit. I have to something next Wednesday. Or by it. But i can't recall what, or how for that matter. It is frigging important for sure.
What a fucking week anyway. I can't sleep and feel terrible constantly but i am not sick, perhaps it is just extreme stress? Yesterday i went sleep early because of this, woke up 1AM and couldn't sleep for the next 5-6 hours, mostly feeling really hot as if i had fever but didn't have any, and when i finally get to sleep, it is sleep disturbed by semi-nightmares.
I should get that frigging doctor's appointment but calling anywhere just feels too difficult. And i fear i can't get one soon so it kind of discourages me. Probably should just go to on call duty or whatever it is called... would be easier for me in theory but somehow i doubt i have anything they feel would warrant that.
And i can't relax. So, i can't do anything about that stuff right now, so i should not worry about it. But i can't focus on anything else either, meaning i keep worrying.
Is that called negative-feedback loop or something like that? I hate how i've never been taught how to avoid one or break one...
What a fucking week anyway. I can't sleep and feel terrible constantly but i am not sick, perhaps it is just extreme stress? Yesterday i went sleep early because of this, woke up 1AM and couldn't sleep for the next 5-6 hours, mostly feeling really hot as if i had fever but didn't have any, and when i finally get to sleep, it is sleep disturbed by semi-nightmares.
I should get that frigging doctor's appointment but calling anywhere just feels too difficult. And i fear i can't get one soon so it kind of discourages me. Probably should just go to on call duty or whatever it is called... would be easier for me in theory but somehow i doubt i have anything they feel would warrant that.
And i can't relax. So, i can't do anything about that stuff right now, so i should not worry about it. But i can't focus on anything else either, meaning i keep worrying.
Is that called negative-feedback loop or something like that? I hate how i've never been taught how to avoid one or break one...
Astral Dog
Member
If you think that calling the suicide line is going to help you , do it
Sometimes we need help, and we can't deal with sadness alone, consider going to a psychologist that might help you (because sometimes they can't :/) get medicine because you need to think positive and be constructive.
Focus on what you want, what you think will make you happy, but its going to be piece by piece. you just need a little push and hopefully get better.
Well, may be all three, there are some things im ashamed to say, and can start to feel anxious or uncomfortable,
These last months i even struggle with speaking and making coherent sentences, so its a bit difficult.
Well, only if you think they will be comprehensive, what's the relationship with your boss and co workers? this will help to make a decision.
Supposedly good companies need to be supportive of their employees when depressed too, unless you have been problematic
I'm still just giddy from liking this girl. For the past few days I've just been grinning all the time. This is probably the happiest I've been for the longest period of time (as in, I've been happy for a span of days rather than just for an hour or two, like it usually is).
I'm not sure if it's the fact that I haven't really liked a girl like this in a few years that's bringing about this feeling or if my meds kicking in is allowing me to feel like this again. Only time will tell I suppose. Either way, being happy feels fantastic.
I'm not sure if it's the fact that I haven't really liked a girl like this in a few years that's bringing about this feeling or if my meds kicking in is allowing me to feel like this again. Only time will tell I suppose. Either way, being happy feels fantastic.
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