Yes.

It seemed like a good fit for me given that I hate memorizing music and I'm an excellent sight reader. When I was working, I became notorious for being able to play anything that people put in front of me. It was enjoyable work when all the cards stacked up right. When they didn't stack up right, they became "take the paycheck and run" gigs. But then, I suppose we all have those.

I miss it a lot. I was great with singers. Everyone said they loved me. Maybe that's the part I miss the most.
Damn, I really envy that. More than anything I want good sight-reading skills, both vocally and on the piano. It's so practical and so often under-valued.
I don't know, bro. A lot of it depends on your tolerance for the age group you're going to be working with. I'm terrible with kids so I personally dodge working with them. Teenagers might be easier but they're also teenagers.
Turns out that every age group has its ups and downs. I'm taking an Elementary Ed class in the fall that'll involve some field work in Elementary schools, so hopefully that'll give me some perspective. I've already spent quite a bit of a time in middle and high schools.
Question for people who have had success with SSRIs:
Did the positive effects just all of a sudden "click" one day, or was it kind of a slow build?
The reason I'm curious is because I'm 7 weeks into my SSRIs now and I still haven't noticed any changes. I'm starting to become a little bit skeptical that they're going to work. I'm certainly going to keep taking them because it gives me hope just doing anything that could fix my depression, but I am starting to think they might not be doing anything.
Anyone have any similar experiences?
For me it's usually a slow build, though there is a sort of "click" on the first day I notice a difference. That being said when a medicine wasn't right for me there wasn't a build or a click, just an onset of side effects. If you haven't noticed anything at all (or just very little, as your later post said) the medication might not be for you. Even within SSRIs/SNRIs there is a lot of variability in what will work and not work for you.
If it's been seven weeks with no noticeable improvement it might be time to consult with the doctor again. Before you switch, though, it's worth thinking through / writing down all of the ways it makes you feel different, even if it doesn't make you feel better, and the side effects you got, as it's information your doctors will want to use in making medication decisions going forward.
A few years ago I started keeping a log of every different medication regimen I've been on and how they affected me and the doctors I've seen really appreciated it when it came time to make medication decisions.
You know, ever since I wrote that post yesterday about how I don't think my meds are having any effect, I've been thinking about it more closely and I actually do think I've made subtle improvements. Nothing major, but I do think I've had slight improvements in most of the areas I was struggling. It's still hard to say for sure since it's all relative and subjective, but yeah.
What sorts of subtle improvements? More relaxed? Happier? Or just more "neutral"?
I've told people that I've never had a panic attack, but that may not be true. Maybe I just don't know how to classify a panic attack.
I went to Walmart in my boxer pants and a t-shirt, with a female friend. I was staying over there for the night and just wore those. I brought new clothes for the next day, though.
Anyways, she wanted to go get pop out of the blue and said I looked fine, so we quickly went to Walmart to get some. I was really nervous and anxious about going in there in my pajamas, even at night and in another town that I don't live in, but I did it. I just kept worrying that people were looking at me and judging me, and she told me to calm down.
To her, that was a panic attack. Just not a full blown one. A mild one.
Is that true? Because, if that's all it takes to classify a panic attack, I've had a lot of them.
I would call that anxiety, not a panic attack.
Panic attacks have a
defined set of symptoms and are characterized by their sudden, extreme onset. That being said I've also heard panic attack used to refer to "existential panic" which is less physiological, and more a sudden, extreme existential crisis, where your mood suddenly and extremely swings into total and complete hopelessness.
These days I try to describe the former as panic attack and the latter as "existential panic" or "existential crisis" so I'm clear with those I'm speaking with.
Daydreaming about quitting this job and practicing piano tuning full-time so that I can do that as a job.
Most days I wonder if I'm just wasting a year of my life at this mind-numbingly boring job. I know that it's going to be very helpful for me long-term since it will really help my resume and the extra money in savings will be very helpful, but then I wonder if it's worth sacrificing a year of my life to do that. Then I remember that I probably wouldn't be doing anything much more useful with my life if I did quit, and either way I'm still in the process of getting better, so if I'm going to be struggling I might as well be making money while I'm struggling.
First of all, you know how to tune pianos?! That's so freaking cool.
I don't think it's quite accurate to think of it as a total waste. Obviously you're getting paid, but beyond that, you're gaining insight into what you do and don't want to do and what you do and don't need out of a job. You wouldn't be having this train of thought and considering what career path makes the most sense for you were it not for this job. Maybe it'll feel like a waste if you stay there forever just ruminating on how much you dislike it, but I think there's probably a positive way to engage with it, at least for a while.
Does anyone have experience with taking a break from medication or coming off it entirely? I ask because I'm currently on my 4th medication and admittedly the trial and error is wearing me a bit thin to the point where I'm a bit confused as to where the effects of the medication end and where my natural feelings begin.
My situation has changed a lot for the better since before I was taking medication - new job, house, city, etc - so I'm wondering if I can manage on my own unassisted. Generally I don't feel the same severe lows as I did pre-medication, but merely hover around neutral most of the time (which is the reason I'm considering taking a break - I have yet to experience that definitive "lightbulb turning on" moment that my doctor describes I would feel if it was working).
I can't really weigh on with many specifics because I don't know your situation or medications, but in my experience not every medication has a "lightbulb" moment. Something like LexaPro, which I'm on currently, just sort of phased in over a few weeks and I noticed myself not bottoming out nearly as low as I did before and staying more stable in general.
I'm of the camp that believes that you're losing very little by taking the medication, particularly if you're not having significant side effects, so if you have something that can support you in feeling better even if it's not CAUSING you to feel better, why not keep taking it and keep feeling better? Plus it's often not realistic to expect a medication to just flip the whole script and bring you back to the light - mental health, as you've noticed, is tied to circumstance as well as chemistry.
Or perhaps stopping your medication for a short while will be illuminating. At a few points in my life I didn't realize how much my medication was doing (and what, precisely, it was doing) until it was gone for a spell.
Either way, please, please, please, please
do not change your medications without consulting a doctor.
I feel there is a mental placebo in effect with medications (be they ADHD, anti-anxiety, etc...)
There is always some placebo effect in receiving attentive care and medication, but the efficacy of psychiatric medications is greater than placebo. They are not placebos.
Try finding herbal/natural remedies that assist with what you take medication for, and use those to replace it. Then quit taking the herbal ones for a bit after a while. It will make the transition easier.
And I, personally, would
strongly, strongly recommend not doing this. Generally not a good idea.
She's just had bad experiences with doctors and paints a broad brush about it. I dunno what her hang up is about medication specifically...besides just the general "It's bad to rely on them / it hurts your body" crap some believe?
My older sibling sought therapy and got medication and my mom gave so much flack about it. Like "how do you know the medication really works" "that diagnosis sounds like bullshit, you just don't try enough!" And my dad didn't really do anything about it. Maybe he told them on the side "Just try to ignore your mom," but I saw nothing. My mom has some mental hang ups of her own that she denies (she's the type to shove all her problems onto other people), so...she's a mixed bag of fun is what I'm saying.
I do intend to try the counselor services here during the fall but for now I'm really stuck. My grades are falling and I don't have time in my schedule to retake anything if I fail so it's tough. I just got a 68 on an exam yesterday that's supposed to be easy, and it was open book....blegh.
Even if your dad doesn't do anything about it talking to him may give you a sense of support within your family that will allow you to stand up to your mother and seek treatment. Could you talk to your sibling who sought therapy also? If you feel like you have the support of multiple folks within your family it may still be possible to seek treatment. One would hope your mother cannot hold your mental health hostage.
Im waiting to see a psychiatrist, i hope he can help me, been a rollercoaster these past days, sometimes i feel sad, or angry, or could be crying, or even happy, recently i have been thinking about suicide, wich is something that has not happened in years.
Whatever, went out with some classmates today for awhile,a new team, they were asking questions about me, family, sex, hobbies, etc.
ugh, i feel disgusted, i hate talking about myself, i dont like to talk about my family, or me, or problems, etc. its just very difficult, i need to be the one starting a conversation. and just "feel" like doing it, i was just starting to open to my old team and they left.:/
Im not going to continue at that school in a month, but i dont know how to deal with this, i figured talking with my new team was going to be of help, but its kinda stressful, i want to tell them that i cant hang out with them, but its rude? or should i try to talk with them more?
Do you hate talking about yourself because there's a lot of hurt and it's difficult to talk about, or because you feel uncomfortable and insecure about what you say, or because of social anxiety? Or is it something else entirely?
Well, at least my eye is making rapid recovery, 90% of patients do not see so clearly until 3rd month after surgery and I totally shocked my doctor and probably they will include me into science article
Otherwise very shitty week...constant arguing at work and at home..my head is so full that I think that I will have another breakdown soon

good thing is that I have three days off now and Blind Guardian concert on Thursday evening \m/
Glad to hear that things are
looking better
Anyways, I feel kind of silly sharing this, but I can't really help but want to talk about it.
Because it's exciting! It's invigorating! As long as you can keep it positive, keep enjoying the energy!