Have any of you tried
http://www.calm.com/ ?
I find it very relaxing.
I haven't tried that particular website before, but I have done a lot of work with meditation and mindfulness and found them both tremendously helpful.
Thanks for the recommendation!
The background animations are so damn cool.
Gaffers I need pointers. Iam trying so hard to ignore my feelings but iam truly dead inside now. I have lost another job and may not be able to goto e3 this year because of financial issues. I only have a few hundred dollars in pocket, and for the longest now I have been wanting to move to another state.
How can I attempt to just get up and move away and start a new with few cash? I have a plane ticket reserved for LA for e3 still and always wanted to move there. Is this a sign to do so?
First of all, I wouldn't bother trying to ignore your feelings. In my experience feelings aren't going to go away until you take the time to feel them, resolve their source, or both. You can fight your feelings for your entire life and you'll never win.
Without knowing you, without knowing your situation I can't really say whether or not you should up and move to LA. There are some people that are the type who can do that - I've known a few folks who have moved somewhere on a whim, knowing noone or almost noone with just some money in their pocket and some craigslist knowhow and made it work.
There are also people who can't do that sort of thing. I couldn't, I need stability and predictability in my life most of the time. If I'm going to be moving I want it to be somewhere where I have support and I want a lot of time to figure everything out.
If you're really not sure, you can always flip a coin and, while it's in the air, see which side you hope it lands on. That'll tell you what you really want deep down.
The thing is, there are things that I enjoy. There are things that I find fulfilling. There are still things that I would like out of life. But I feel like, with the situation that I've set myself up in, there's not much I can do. And that, at this point, there's no way I can really get out of this situation, to anything even close to the life that I had wanted, or a life that I would want now. That it's basically just passing time until I die.
It's clear that, given the circumstances, you cannot live what you once considered your ideal life, or your life goal. That being said, as long as you have things in your life that are meaningful, things that you consider worth working towards, things that give you a sense of fulfillment, I think there are ways to integrate them into your present situation.
The first step, though, is going to be coming to some sort of peace with the nature of the situation you're in. I don't know the specifics of your disability and why you're unable to work at present so I can't level any sort of great wisdom about how, exactly, things could fit into your life, but I can tell you that there are always going to be certain aspects of our lives and present situations that are more and less flexible. It's difficult, it's painful, it's frustrating and most of all it's terrifying but one must try his or her best to work toward not trying to flex the inflexible - for to do so is impossible, and putting forth the herculean effort to try is sure to be draining.
In my experience, that's been the toughest part. Letting go. There are experiences I've had, decisions I've made, situations I've been in that still hurt to think about. For a long time I would ruminate and agonize over how I would have approached them differently, and how that may have changed my life presently. I was pouring great amounts of energy into what is essentially a bottomless pit; no matter what I did, that chance to change the past would never come. The longer I held onto it the more my present was empty, flat and unfulfilling. I finally had a day, in 2011, when it dawned on me that I could never go back. I could not change what I had done, I could not change what had happened to me. I could only move from this point forwards. And that line of thought led to a really life changing shift in perspective over the following months and years.
Of course, I didn't develop that change completely on my own. Medication, therapy and meditation / mindfulness helped me tremendously.
And, of course, I still hold on to things. Letting go is my biggest struggle. I can't let go. Letting go hurts. But I have gotten better. And that has paid off tremendously.
I can't make you believe anything I'm saying but I can assure you that I, for one, firmly, absolutely believe that you can develop a fulfilling life, one that gives you purpose and a will to live. I can also tell you it will be very different from the plan you had in mind for your life and it will take a lot of ongoing work and effort. I think that effort will be worth it.
And again, it may not seem it, but with a PhD and some idea of what's fulfilling you're already starting from a promising position. I mean, let's say music is meaningful to you. Just within that one category there are a staggering number of ways to integrate it into your life and have it bring you fulfillment - you could work (as a teacher, performer, writer, analyst), be a hobbyist (in writing, performing), a patron (going to local concerts in jazz, classical, rock), an enthusiast (building an encyclopedic knowledge, reading, collecting) ... and that's not even to mention the million other semi-related pursuits you may also enjoy (group dance, theater, so on). Truly there isn't enough time in this life to do it all. And I agree with you that sitting around, being entertained by a screen until you die sounds like a bit of a drag.
Is your disability situation such that you are able to partake in hobbies in activities? Will you ever be able to return to the workforce? Sorry for the personal questions.
Even if not, remember your interests are the flexible part. No matter how inflexible some life circumstances chances are there is a way to bend and shape what you find fulfilling to have it fit into your lifestyle.
That being said, you may need some help letting go of the inflexible and beginning to work with the flexible. You've mentioned medications, which can help tremendously. You've also mentioned therapy in the context of your marriage, which could also be a big help, as your marriage is (obviously) a large part of your current circumstance. Perhaps you can aim for personal counseling as well at some point in the future, if the fates allow?
I'm sorry to go on, and I'm sorry to be so disorganized; I think there's something I'm trying to say here but I don't seem to have the brain fuel left after today's schoolwork to put it together in the best way. Hopefully you're able to get the gist of what I'm saying.
I have a few. My best friend moved about a year ago. We still keep in touch fairly often and I go visit her whenever I can. My other close friend was one that I knew in high school and we go to the same college. We used to hang out a lot on campus and we both had disney passes so we hung out at Disneyland as well. But now we both have part time jobs and she spends any spare time that she has with her boyfriend or her family. She doesn't really even have time to text me anymore so I see her around significantly less than I used to, and I don't expect that to change any time soon. Those are the two friends that I speak/spoke to on a regular basis, but I have some other friends that I occasionally talk to and I did make a new friend through GAF.
Do any of those friends have other friends or a friend group they can introduce you to? I found that to be a great way to meet new people; if you like this person, chances are you'll like a lot of the people they like. If you feel comfortable, you could even straight up ask if they know anyone else you could meet. Many people have been short on friends at some point in their life and may be willing to help you out.
Hi Mental Health GAF. I'm new to this thread. Recently I've been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder which has been manifesting itself as runaway, uncontrollable hypochondria. I've probably diagnosed myself with cancer six dozen times in the past few weeks. I hate this, I'm a very rational person and I understand that this is all self inflicted (for lack of a better term), but that's not making it any easier to deal with. My doctor has put me on cipralex, but it hasn't started working yet. I haven't been eating since it got out of control and I've lost about ten pounds.
I hope the meds kick in soon
Simon Belmont -
I'm sorry for your suffering. I haven't had much similar experience to draw insight from but I'm glad you've joined us here and I hope you do keep us updated.
Also, amazing username. Do you enjoy just the classic Castlevanias or the Metroidvanias, too?
I had a great time, it's just that, like I have previously stated before, all my friendships are becoming dull, even with my best friend of almost 9 years.
I also feel like I don't have enough friends. I don't have enough friends. I know saying that, not having enough friends sounds a bit selfish and fucked up, but I literally only "have" 3 friends, and those friends I've known two of them for 5 years in November, and the other one, 9 years in September, all the way back from middle school. I've had other friends along the way, but nothing has lasted very long, and I know it isn't how it works, but I feel like I need/want new experiences, new people in my life, and like always, I recognize the problem, I just don't actively try to solve the problem.
Do you think 9 years is a sort of natural expiry for a friendship, or do you think it has more to do with the way you relate to these friends? Have you simply fallen too deep into the grooves of familiarity with them?
Any idea why the new friendships haven't lasted long?
Sorry for the bevy of questions; I really am interested.
The way friendships grow and change, for better and worse, has really surprised me as I've gotten older.
I hope you can see that the rut you're in is far from inescapable.
I want to make a huge post venting how I feel but my head's so paradoxical and full of contradictions that I can't even find the words, and even if I could it would amount to nothing that even makes sense.
I was started on antidepressants for the first time a few weeks ago and they don't appear to be having any effects at all, positive or negative. I know they're meant to take a while to kick in anyway but there's nothing at all, not even slight side effects. I don't know.
Just why does life have to be so fucking crap?! Suicide is not something I genuinely consider as an option (at least not right now) and yet it's just about all I think about. My first waking thought every day for the last half a year or so has been "Why couldn't I just die in my sleep?"
Worst part is, there's nothing bad I can point to in my life as being the source of my issues. I hate my job, sure, but everyone keeps telling me that's normal (and yet seem to think I should be pleased with this). I just want to not be.
If it's been more than four weeks and you've noticed no effects from your medication it may be time to consult your doctor about a next step. Are you seeing a psychiatrist regularly whom you can speak to?
I'm sorry you're suffering. Life is a lot of things a lot of the time. Fucking crap is one of them. But I hope you can know that it's not the only one.
And just because others hate their job and still manage to function doesn't mean your job MUST work for you. If you hate it and it doesn't work, then you hate it and it doesn't work. Of course, some thoughts must be made to circumstance, career field, and so on, but if there is flexibility then hating your job may be a time to flex in a different direction.
Unfortunately, I think that would depend on who you ask. I'm no angel. But I'm glad I was able to help you.
Of course not. And neither am I. But I feel that it says a lot that I'm able to see many good qualities even through the impersonal, text-only nature of a message board. They have not gone unnoticed. I hope that can be of some small solace to you.
That I don't know. I guess I would just want to be able to give myself some time to fix myself. Do what I can to try and raise my mood and to stop feeling so low.
I asked how long because, personally, I can get into some real ruts when I have more than a few days off with no structure and I lose my "momentum". You may or may not function in that way but it is something to be cautious about. If you're able to keep your life structured enough to keep functioning or have a specific period or purpose to your time off then perhaps it will be a good thing. If, however, you want to take time off in order to escape, ignore things and hope the time off never ends, like I often did, it may not be such a good idea and may put you down into a place that's hard to climb out of.
What sorts of things would you want to do to "fix yourself"?
Glad that such a community exists here on GAF. It's really nice to see!
Tomorrow morning I am calling to make my first appointment with a mental health professional. I have always been against seeking help for mental health problems (old cynical/grumpy me) but now I understand how pivotal and helpful it can be after attending a few support groups with a friend.
I am going to see a psychiatrist and I'm glad that my insurance lets me schedule that without prior authorization. I do hope for the best as it'll be my first time seeing any kind of counselor/psychologist/psychiatrist.
It's wonderful to hear that you were able to clear your mental hurdles and make an appointment
. Welcome to the community and I do hope you keep us posted!
thes last days have been a bit weird, like im crying thinking about killing myslf one day and the next im almost happy and full of life, is this normal? im used to being depressed but not changing moods that frequently.
It sounds as though you may be having some difficult mood fluctuations. Are you seeing a therapist and / or psychiatrist?
I don't know what to do. I contacted the recruiter, she sort of acknowledged what I said, and said she was willing to help find me a new job. Nothing else has come out of that yet.
I'm still concerned no one is going to want me just because I have lost two jobs due to performance. I don't know what to do. I just feel so fucking worthless right now and that I can't really do anything right.
First of all, I think the recruiter saying she could help you find a new job is a positive development. Good on you for having the guts to put yourself back out there and talk to her.
I don't know anything about programming so I can't offer much specific advice, but is there anything you can work in the interim to improve at the problems that have cropped up at the last two jobs? You may feel more self-confidence and less anxiety if you feel you've made even a small amount of progress in improving your struggles.
Also, if you feel no difference at all on the Vyvanse it may be time to consult your doctor about a next step, possibly a higher dose or a different medication. It's a short acting drug so, to my knowledge, the effects should be clear pretty quickly.
Having GAF has done wonders for me. Having a place where people are listening and understand. I mostly hang in the MGS GAF area, but I'd like to come around here a little more often. I could use people in my life who understand that darkness and anxiety and are just as eager to move ahead with me
I'm glad you came to join the community! And it's wonderful to hear that you've made some real steps forward. I hope your positive momentum continues, and do let us know if there's anything we can do to support you.
Had an interview at Target, it didn't go so well. We spent so much time going over the schedule because I wasn't sure if I'm going to take classes this summer. The interviewer told me that education is more important which I know since I was planning on dropping my classes if I get hired. I should've said something like "I have to make sacrifices" but I didn't think of that till I left. Also, I didn't answer the questions very well. He said he was going to let me know in few days which translates that I didn't get the job. I know school is important, it's just I want to be ready for the world when dealing with people I can't avoid and knowing how to communicate very well. I want to earn skills from a job for future career, and especially earn money.
Even if you don't land this job, it's already clear that you've learned a thing or two (at least) from this job interview. Job interviews are tough! I don't know anyone that enjoys them. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that jobs are opening up all the time, so there will always be another shot to be taken. Also, I've heard people sometimes get in touch with employers after hearing back and ask for feedback on their interview - I've never done it but perhaps it's something to consider?
After having a fairly good couple of months I think I'm going back into my depression again. I think this might have to do with not exercising anymore as that helped a lot with improving my mood. Thing is, I can't afford a new stationary bike or the motivation to go to the gym.
I'm also not really enjoying my job so much right now. Everyone seems so two-faced and I don't really think I have any real friends there anymore. It sucks.
Have you considered jogging? It's free, it requires very little equipment, and if you keep a moderate pace it's quite good for you.
I used to hate it, and still sort of do, but have taken it up in the last few months just because it's so much less of a production than lifting weights or biking. I just go outside and run. Don't even have to measure anything if I don't want to, just run as long as I can, take a break, and then do it a couple more times and boom, I'm done.
<3
