It turns out I lost my passion.
Quick facts about our ex-relationship:
We're both 29.
We own a house, two cars, and have some credit card debt all together.
We have a son. (not my Bio son, who cares)
She has no job, is going to college and DESTROYING college and has a very limited but very guaranteed income. Anyway, the breakup...
This is pretty much the most boring breakup you could imagine.
It was more of a mutual thing. We'd been kind of just coasting along for the last 3 years and we both knew it. There were times when she'd want to split up before now but I had convinced her to let us keep going and that I'd change and things would get better.
They never really got better in the ways she wanted them to get better and so here we are, after seven and a half years, living NOT together.
Again, it was mutual. After a long conversation way late at night we kind of both decided that the thrill ride needs to end before we end up resentful or dead or super fat, most importantly we didn't want to end up hating each other. So as far as breakups go this has EASILY been the best one for me... except a few things. For one, we have a son. This kid is the best, seriously, and while I'm not his bio dad that doesn't mean I'm skipping out of his life. I want to be there to make sure she doesn't convince him that Marvel is better than DC and other, less important stuff, like watching him graduate.
We have to work very hard and very closely together to ensure even though we don't love each other the same way we did all those years ago, he still has all the love and support he needs to flourish in this life. Every day we need to talk, about him and us and right now about splitting up the finances.
The problem is that I'm still feeling all these weird emotions about her and our life together and it's getting all mixed up. So I see him and I feel proud as fuck because he's awesome but I also feel regretful and wistful and guilty. Of course, there isn't much that doesn't make me feel regretful and wistful and guilty right now. I don't know if he can tell, but 8 year olds are more insightful than you'd think so I imagine he can tell. I feel like that's unfair to him. I need time and space to work out these feelings but given the circumstances I can't afford that time and space so I have to, I don't know... talk to someone about this shit.
Which brings me to my other problem. I've never been good at being a human. I'm one of those assholes who finds most other people boring and dumb. I don't want to share with them and I don't want them to share with me. All of my much needed social interactions came at the expense of my now ex-girlfriend. She was the only one in the better part of the last decade that I could open up to and just be a normal person with. I think this is one of the major reasons for our breakup to be honest... but that's a bit of a digression. I have my family, which is nice, but as much as I love my sis I need to be out there and taking the world by the horns or whatever, also she's 3 time zones away.
I'm almost 30 years old and I don't know how to socially interact with other people beyond superficial bullshit like "how was your day" and "this weather huh?". That's why I post on GAF so much. I don't have to be sociable to have a conversation here. Instead of doing things that a 30ish dude living in a big city should do, I'm sitting in an apartment drinking Yuengling Light (holy shit that stuff is gross, but hey, 99 calories) and playing Hearthstone.
I don' t know what I'm asking of GAF really. I could go on and on about what exactly led up to our breakup, how I feel about her and our life together... all that... but this is rambling enough as it is. I just needed a place to vent and Livejournal sucks.
What's an overweight, introverted boy with a gap-toothed, crooked smile to do in 2015? (besides go to the gym)
TL;DR - Long term SO broke up with me and now I need to learn how to be human like some alien in a sitcom before I go nuts and start drinking more Yuengling Light.
Quick facts about our ex-relationship:
We're both 29.
We own a house, two cars, and have some credit card debt all together.
We have a son. (not my Bio son, who cares)
She has no job, is going to college and DESTROYING college and has a very limited but very guaranteed income. Anyway, the breakup...
This is pretty much the most boring breakup you could imagine.
It was more of a mutual thing. We'd been kind of just coasting along for the last 3 years and we both knew it. There were times when she'd want to split up before now but I had convinced her to let us keep going and that I'd change and things would get better.
They never really got better in the ways she wanted them to get better and so here we are, after seven and a half years, living NOT together.
Again, it was mutual. After a long conversation way late at night we kind of both decided that the thrill ride needs to end before we end up resentful or dead or super fat, most importantly we didn't want to end up hating each other. So as far as breakups go this has EASILY been the best one for me... except a few things. For one, we have a son. This kid is the best, seriously, and while I'm not his bio dad that doesn't mean I'm skipping out of his life. I want to be there to make sure she doesn't convince him that Marvel is better than DC and other, less important stuff, like watching him graduate.
We have to work very hard and very closely together to ensure even though we don't love each other the same way we did all those years ago, he still has all the love and support he needs to flourish in this life. Every day we need to talk, about him and us and right now about splitting up the finances.
The problem is that I'm still feeling all these weird emotions about her and our life together and it's getting all mixed up. So I see him and I feel proud as fuck because he's awesome but I also feel regretful and wistful and guilty. Of course, there isn't much that doesn't make me feel regretful and wistful and guilty right now. I don't know if he can tell, but 8 year olds are more insightful than you'd think so I imagine he can tell. I feel like that's unfair to him. I need time and space to work out these feelings but given the circumstances I can't afford that time and space so I have to, I don't know... talk to someone about this shit.
Which brings me to my other problem. I've never been good at being a human. I'm one of those assholes who finds most other people boring and dumb. I don't want to share with them and I don't want them to share with me. All of my much needed social interactions came at the expense of my now ex-girlfriend. She was the only one in the better part of the last decade that I could open up to and just be a normal person with. I think this is one of the major reasons for our breakup to be honest... but that's a bit of a digression. I have my family, which is nice, but as much as I love my sis I need to be out there and taking the world by the horns or whatever, also she's 3 time zones away.
I'm almost 30 years old and I don't know how to socially interact with other people beyond superficial bullshit like "how was your day" and "this weather huh?". That's why I post on GAF so much. I don't have to be sociable to have a conversation here. Instead of doing things that a 30ish dude living in a big city should do, I'm sitting in an apartment drinking Yuengling Light (holy shit that stuff is gross, but hey, 99 calories) and playing Hearthstone.
I don' t know what I'm asking of GAF really. I could go on and on about what exactly led up to our breakup, how I feel about her and our life together... all that... but this is rambling enough as it is. I just needed a place to vent and Livejournal sucks.
What's an overweight, introverted boy with a gap-toothed, crooked smile to do in 2015? (besides go to the gym)
TL;DR - Long term SO broke up with me and now I need to learn how to be human like some alien in a sitcom before I go nuts and start drinking more Yuengling Light.
