loganclaws
Plane Escape Torment
Let it go.
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
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Let it go.
True Savior
Member
You have her facebook. No need for her number. You should have asked her on a date or whatever you wanted to do with her.
And yes , message her again in a few days. Some funny comment about the silence. The worst that can happen is the same thing.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
I did suggest going for a drink.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Only thing I can change is weight, which I have been doing over the past few years.
I'd argue in re: my facial symmetry, girls that say I'm handsome are in the minority.
I've known girls who are so passive they agree to dates and even keep texting up to the date in question, then flake to get the message of disinterest across (because they're "too nice to say no").
Nope. I follow the 1:1 response ratio most guys preach. Keep messages short and sweet without being curt.
W/e, it's happened before and it's gonna happen again. I'm just bummed that at almost 26, despite a world of improvement in mental and physical health I'm just as unable to attract women or exude sex appeal as I was ten years ago.
True Savior
Member
Perhaps it was a tad too much then.
Still.. try to engage in a conversation again. Just let it go for a couple days.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Hmm, not sure if it was too much because she was like "yeah sure, where do you live".
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
stn
Member
Just do nothing. You messaged her, she saw it. If she wants to go out with you, she'll reply.
Gotdatmoney
Member
If they wanna talk they will resond. You did what you had to do, now just wait and see. Forget dating in regards to this topic for a sec, if someone on fb or texting messages you and you don't feel like talking, do you respond? Same applies to this. Anyone who wants to talk to you will make it obvious.
True Savior
Member
That's not true all the time. There are girls who get tons and tons of messages. Also people sometimes are busy , doing stuff professionally or academically , on vacations , whatever , and they just forget. Heck , i forget to reply sometimes. I read the message , i think to myself i'll respond later and i forget. Nobody expects to leave such a big impression on facebook messages that the girl will remember you for eternity.
Sure , if the conversation is flowing naturally and there's a silence after asking something like that ..its kinda obvious. Still , what's the problem off messaging back ? Yay , another silence. Well now you know...
I gotta agree with you there. Oftentimes I forget to reply to FB messages because I only check FB sparingly throughout the day, and when those stupid heads pop up I almost immediately x them out... which makes me forget to respond, lol.
I don't see the harm in sending her another message in a day or two. If still no response, then there's your answer.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
I definitely thought it was flowing, she wasn't using one word answers and was asking questions as well. She did say she was at work before I asked for her number, so I guess I'll message her again some time later and I'll see what comes of it. Hard not to take these things to heart when you have rock bottom self esteem and having to build a social circle up from scratch. I keep having to remind myself that this happens to everyone, even to really attractive guys that are successful in dating.
stn
Member
You can message her again, sure. I'm just thinking that a girl who likes you WILL find a way to reply to you. And if she truly does have an interest in you, she won't forget to do so. This is how I've always treated girls I was into. And I always got the same treatment back.
Message her again, you have nothing to lose. But don't be surprised if nothing comes of it.
Message her again, you have nothing to lose. But don't be surprised if nothing comes of it.
luckyboyceo
Member
For as tough as your situation has been, on the positive side, it sounds like you know your self-worth, which is important. It's easy to get discouraged and fall into a downward spiral after repeated rejections, but remember that any girl willing to stand you up wouldn't be worth your time in the long run anyway. Sure, maybe it's cliche to say, but it's true. If it wasn't this, it was just going to be some other issue down the road.
I'd encourage you to take a step back from dating and focus on improving other aspects of your life, whether that's physical health, career, social (non dating), whatever. Not for the sole purpose of meeting women, but so that you can feel better about yourself, because when you're comfortable with who you are and what your life is, that's when you start to attract others. Besides, if you've been working on this dating thing for awhile, it might be nice to take a break from it and decompress. We all need it from time to time.
Hello, this is the first time i post here though i have lurked a bit, and i apologize if something sounds weird, english is not my main language.
Ok, so like one week ago i was practicing harmonica in my college and this girl aproached and started talking to me, the thing is i instantly fell for her.
Since then we have gone to a concert and talked a lot and with every new thing i learn from her i like her more.
The thing is that i don't know if she is with somebody else (it would be awful) and i don't know how to ask it withput being too obvious that i like her, i know it sounds dumb, usually im pretty good with girls but with her i feel like i don't know anything. Pls help, i feel so dumb.
Ok, so like one week ago i was practicing harmonica in my college and this girl aproached and started talking to me, the thing is i instantly fell for her.
Since then we have gone to a concert and talked a lot and with every new thing i learn from her i like her more.
The thing is that i don't know if she is with somebody else (it would be awful) and i don't know how to ask it withput being too obvious that i like her, i know it sounds dumb, usually im pretty good with girls but with her i feel like i don't know anything. Pls help, i feel so dumb.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Ask her out on a date. You'll instantly find out all of the answers to all the questions you've mentioned here. It's slightly complicated because you've already been to a concert together, which means you have to be explicit. You can't get away with "Do you want to get drinks together?" anymore.
In your native language, is there a word for "date"? If so, use that.
Do this soon, by the way.
True Savior
Member
Why don't you want it to be obvious ? Ask her if she's single. Or if she wants to go on a date. That's really it.
You have to be obvious. This is very important.
DaanMuffin
Member
Recently got out of a toxic relation on which i wasted 4 years of my life. I lost all my friends except for 3. and i completely abandoned any form.of social life.
I wanna get back out there so i made a tinder and okcupid account. And man this is crushing my soul, i never thought i was that unappealing. But i've only been matched with bots or people who don't respond to my messages. Someone please explain me how this works.
I wanna get back out there so i made a tinder and okcupid account. And man this is crushing my soul, i never thought i was that unappealing. But i've only been matched with bots or people who don't respond to my messages. Someone please explain me how this works.
Shuggananas
Banned
Take a better picture ? Lower your standards ? Don't try too hard with your description too.
Now on tinder I pretty much like everybody and then sort out the matches, it's much less of a hassle and it's not like I get tons of matches anyway
DaanMuffin
Member
The swipe limit really sucks. Standards are probably the issue, not that my picture is all that great.
vicissitudes
Banned
I drew a painting of the issue that many guys run into:
Also realize that the x-axis is "attractiveness of photo". I would say it's something like 60% how good-looking you are and 40% quality of the photo itself.
Here's an old experiment done to see # of unsolicited messages girls and guys get on okc. The author used five fake female profiles rated 1-5 (unscientifically) and five fake male profiles rated 1-5 (unscientifically):
Just to give you an idea of what you're up against.
DaanMuffin
Member
That's good to know. A friend of mine claims he gets tona of matches and messages, maybe i shouldn't believe him.
n64coder
Member
Interesting stuff. I would like to know the ratio of men/women on these dating sites. I have to think that it's something like 80% guys, 20% women.
EDIT: I see that the photos are of younger women/men. It would be interesting to do an experiment using older people in their 30s/40s. Does this change? I would have to think yes.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Facebook girl didn't reply, so on to bigger and better things (well people, in this case). Going to place her firmly in the 'defriend and never speak to again' category, which is where she deserves to be. The fact that this happens to basically everyone on Earth doesn't make such blows any easier, but I'll just have to keep on trucking.
ZackieChan
Member
I would leave her as a friend and do super exciting shit. Make her jelly that she ain't with you, every time you show up on her feed!
I'm realizing I got super lucky finding my ex online. I don't mean to be shallow or judge mental, but most people in my area are "country" and just don't have the depth I'm looking for in a person or have 5 kids by 23... Most list their first date ideas as "backroading" or "mudding". Is it crazy that I really wanna move out of this state and into a big city? Not just for dating, though I imagine dating would come a lot easier for me.
Gotdatmoney
Member
You don't forget to message someone you are romantically interested in back for several days. You don't even forget to message your friends that you constamtly talk to back for several days. Someone who takes 3-4 days to be like "hmm why hasn't so and so messaged me" really isn't that close with so and so.
ZackieChan
Member
You live in a global job market. Move out of whatever country-ass town you're in!
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Alright so even though I got the girls number, she seems to not want to engage in conversation with me. (too busy?) Even when I texted her last night she said she was tired.
Maybe I'm overthinking it, but yeah, I guess I should talk to other people?
Maybe I'm overthinking it, but yeah, I guess I should talk to other people?
STILLethal
Member
Ive been in Europe for 2 months and recently met a girl that Ive see around 8-10 times...she fell in love with me...but I just couldnt find a connection, something held me back - some physical and personality qualities of hers didnt click.
Ive told her how I feel last night and of course it felt horrible and Ive felt like shit because Ive hurt her, and she's truly...truly an amazing person. Will it get better GAF? Im scared god will curse me for this because Ive hurt someone who has a pure soul and feel like I'll never be able to find 'the one'
Im going back to my lonely introverted self in 3 weeks (aka living in USA) and dont see a bright future in the dating world over there.
What do?
Ive told her how I feel last night and of course it felt horrible and Ive felt like shit because Ive hurt her, and she's truly...truly an amazing person. Will it get better GAF? Im scared god will curse me for this because Ive hurt someone who has a pure soul and feel like I'll never be able to find 'the one'
Im going back to my lonely introverted self in 3 weeks (aka living in USA) and dont see a bright future in the dating world over there.
What do?
family_guy
Member
If you're a male do as little as possible. Don't message anyone unless they like or message you first. If you're not good looking then don't waste your time with online dating. You're better off joining meetup groups where women will be around. Tinder is bottom of the barrel if you actually want to date someone and not just hookup so I'd not spend anytime on it.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Pure soul? You didn't date someone you're not interested, I'm sure I see the problem. How old are you by chance?
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Everybody gets hurt, we're equipped to get over it. As long as you didn't break up with malice, and intend to hurt someone, you have nothing to feel guilty about.
STILLethal
Member
Im 26 and so is she. I thought if we kept seeing each other more - I would develop stronger feelings for her, and even though I did a little, I still only have 3 more weeks here, that might have held me back as well. But I just hope she forgets me asap, moves on and finds someone who will love her cause holy shittt she is the sweetest most gentle girl Ive ever known
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/88_kim
Can anyone for sure tell me if this girl seems like a fake profile or not? I'm pretty sure it is. I messaged her anyway and we started talking and her English and punctuation was pretty bad. She or maybe he (lol) asked me a question again that she/he already asked me so then I was like, "Lemme guess, you aren't the person in your photos." Then she/he basically told me off and told me to go fuck myself. Seems pretty obvious she's fake but out of the very obvious fake profiles I've seen in the past it'd be a bummer if she actually really wasn't because she seems pretty cute.
Can anyone for sure tell me if this girl seems like a fake profile or not? I'm pretty sure it is. I messaged her anyway and we started talking and her English and punctuation was pretty bad. She or maybe he (lol) asked me a question again that she/he already asked me so then I was like, "Lemme guess, you aren't the person in your photos." Then she/he basically told me off and told me to go fuck myself. Seems pretty obvious she's fake but out of the very obvious fake profiles I've seen in the past it'd be a bummer if she actually really wasn't because she seems pretty cute.
Those pics are of adult model Ivy Jean / Ivy Snow. Warning: googling her is very NSFW.
Haha I knew it, thanks for the confirmation.
Doominated
Member
I guess this makes me feel better about the fact that I get about a half dozen "unsolicited" messages a week?
luckyboyceo
Member
Re: online dating. Keep in mind, a lot of girls just have a profile there as a means of attention/entertainment, rather than actually looking to meet someone. If someone comes around that they're actually interested in, then maybe they'll entertain the idea of meeting up, but for the most part it's just a steady stream of compliments/self-esteem booster and nothing else.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Never thought I'd see that term used here.
Self-respect.
I really could never understand this mindset. What an utter waste of time. Unable to get real-life attention or something?
It's narcissism and exhibitionism.
The moment you thought to yourself "I don't think she sees me in that way." it was done. No idea what you're expecting here.
Saying it was easy to get her number and everything, what was the point of that? Are you convincing yourself it is easy and then not acting upon that? Do it with other women. Without a tutor having to introduce you
From these posts you just don't sound confident with yourself and you're just asking for us to tell you to move on
luckyboyceo
Member
It's definitely annoying, but honestly not a whole lot different than how mainstream social media is used nowadays.
electricshake
Member
I do. I have a terrible memory and I'm a rubbish texter. Thankfully all my friends know this so it's never been a problem.
I might come off as an ass saying this, but the notion of being "a bad texter" is nonsense to me. Either you care about texting and not making the people around you feel ignored (not everyone does, but many definitely do), or you don't. If you wanted to be good at texting, wouldn't you take steps to improve? Like try to find spots where you can respond, perhaps set up reminders to check what people wrote you? I mean if you don't care about texting then by all means go ahead, nothing inherently wrong with that. But I for example can feel ignored and neglected if someone takes way too long to respond to a text (or even two) for which I expect some kind of response. Obviously depends who I'm texting though - a close friend is no big deal. Someone I'm romantically interested in though, I'll probably conclude disinterest.
True Savior
Member
Most important thing is to have a good first pic. I've tried several stuff on Tinder with the same person (me....) and the difference in the amount of matches is quite surprising.
And a girl is going to be romantically interested in you because she exchanged a bunch of messages with you on facebook ? Is that your expectation with every girl who talks to you ? Love at first message.
Also friends that i constantly talk are definitely the ones i forget to reply. Because i talk often. If i didnt reply its most definitely because i forgot.
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