Why are you so boring? (to Tabris)

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numble said:
I’m not the one agreeing to spell it out for me and drawing me a picture in the same breath:




That is just metabolizing the sugar--that isn't about the tolerance to the alcohol's effects and the tolerance of the kidney, right? I think your claim is false--alcohol tolerance is more dependent on habit and weight--an obese alcoholic has more alcohol tolerance than a healthy and lighter person with a faster metabolism and without a habit of drinking alcohol.
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I never ever said that metabolism had anything to do with alcohol tolerance, so no... I'm not going to explain why it does. Get it?

The one time I don't bold the precise thing I'm responding to and this is the result.
 
Because having kids takes up a lot of your fucking time and makes marriage or relationships very strained.

I do agree with you on people who can only talk about a few things: their kids, TV, or shopping.

This seems to be the way for most people who have had kids.

I think most people are boring though. People who only talk about all the money they blow every week at the bar and at restaurants are boring too. Getting drunk and being a slob doesn't make you an interesting person either.
 
Taking care of a baby is draining. After that and work I'm spent. The little free time I have I'm not wasting it sitting in a bar listening to single people problems.
 
I had my kids real young, when I was 22 and 24, so my non-parent friends (which was literally all of them until 4 years ago) were still at the height of their young, single lives of fun and debauchery.

And you know what? It never fucked up our friendship. I still went out from time to time on my own, but I put a serious focus on making sure that my wife and I went to social events together too, and had lots of parties and get-togethers at our place so we could stay in touch with people.

Maybe I've just got more boring friends than OP, but the bulk of every conversation with most of them has always been about the latest movie, TV, music, book, or game. None of that changed with people settling down and having kids.
 
I agree with you mostly OP, and it's something that parents get super defensive and touchy about. (i.e. saying you're the boring one, too ignorant, you'll never understand until you have kids, etc)
 
Hey Dude said:
Going to bars to sit and pay for overpriced beers is boring. Id rather buy a 6 pack and chill at my own house.
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Yeah, and to me, that's not even an age/parent thing. I've never really enjoyed paying a bunch of extra money for an environment that's less enjoyable than my own home.
 
Tabris said:
Giving up on trying to schedule anything with them. It's annoying. It requires long term scheduling and that's generally not how I live my life. I like making plans as things come up.

"Wanna go to Vegas this weekend?" Answer is always yes.
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As a parent I don't really need people with this attitude in my life. A lot of your friends probably feel similarly.

We'll just go on being boring and you can keep living the playboy party lifestyle. That to me is the definition of a shallow, boring person.
 
Tabris said:
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Once you have a child and the responsibility of caring for a life is thrust upon you the need to consistently entertain your demanding friends is put into perspective and becomes far less important.

Also, they're likely exhausted and stressed.

Also also, their entire lives are probably spent caring for said child, you run out of experiences to talk about that people will give a shit about.
 
Hey Dude said:
Going to bars to sit and pay for overpriced beers is boring. Id rather buy a 6 pack and chill at my own house.
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Going to restaurants to sit and pay for overpriced food is boring. I'd rather buy food and prepare it myself and chill at my own house.
spectre-what.gif
 
It's an odd scenario but the reality is they probably think OP is dull now, priorities change going out on the ale all the time isn't exciting in the slightest for a lot of people when they have children and a change of perspective.
 
Good fucking luck having a kid in your 40's. That's going to go real well for you.

But anyways, it's probably a perception thing or a matter of your friendship (you probably had a shallow one if your friends now can't talk about "interesting" things with you anymore)

I am a relatively new parent, but I talk with my friends about the same stuff I used to talk about.
 
McGreevious said:
As someone who has pretty recently become a parent, that's pretty rude of you. Giving up on friends? Because they have a child? You should be thrilled for them and if you were good friends with them you should want their kid to be a part of your life as much as they are. When one of my good friends had a kid a few years ago I was thrilled for him and made extra effort to keep in touch with him and to socialise with him. You don't know what it's like to have good friends almost instantly drop you from their life just because you had a child, it's a horrible feeling and you should feel ashamed of being guilty of that.
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This. OP is not a good friend.
 
If your friends are boring when you go out to the bar, do something other than go out to the bar with them.

Newsflash: bars are boring. Sitting and drinking is boring.
 
low-G said:
Good fucking luck having a kid in your 40's. That's going to go real well for you.

But anyways, it's probably a perception thing or a matter of your friendship (you probably had a shallow one if your friends now can't talk about "interesting" things with you anymore)

I am a relatively new parent, but I talk with my friends about the same stuff I used to talk about.
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I know plenty of people that had a kid in their 40's. It's not exactly unheard of.
 
Everyone do whatever makes them happy and everyone else be happy that someone else has found something that makes them happy and it'll all be fine.

My wife and I we don't have kids and don't want kids. We travel a lot and play lots of video games. We love our lives and we're happy the way things are. If kids make your lives more complete more power to you.
 
The_Darkest_Red said:
As a parent I don't really need people with this attitude in my life. A lot of your friends probably feel similarly.

We'll just go on being boring and you can keep living the playboy party lifestyle. That to me is the definition of a shallow, boring person.
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Its funny how people, read couples, always add in a backhand comment like this towards single people.

"This person doesn't like hanging out with people like me, I must insult their lifestyle!"

Couple always have this weird habit of needing to validate their life choice by insulting all single people.
 
Tabris, your post comes across as pretty clueless. I am pushing 40 and am childless. Most of my friends have kids. None of them want to listen to a know-it-all blather on about the liberals or politics.

That's why your friends seem uninteresting to you - it's because you are uninteresting to them.

You need some perspective, and I mean this with respect. ;)
 
Karl Hawk said:
Congrats, you just called my brother and sister-in-law miserable freaks
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Do they spend time talking shit about their chidless friends that still go out a lot? Because if they do... yeah, they kinda are.

SolarMystic said:
Lol, more like most of us are married or getting married, talking about trying to have kids, that sort of thing.
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Won't lie, the few times i ran into a "we're trying to conceive" convo, i wanted to get the fuck away from it fast. Stuff turns sad quick.
 
Shuggananas said:
Well that's your opinion.
Went to the bar last saturday and there were people ranging from 18 to 45. They didn't seem bored at all.
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It's boring if it's the only thing you do. The bar is where you go to share experiences that you have outside the bar. If you don't have anything to share, or anything in common with the people you're there with, it's boring.
 
SliceSabre said:
Its funny how people, read couples, always add in a backhand comment like this.

"This person doesn't like hanging out with people like me, I must insult their lifestyle!"
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I went to a huge party school in college and even then chose not to hang out with those types of people. I was also single the majority of that time. You go enjoy your "fun" lifestyle but to me it's as boring and vapid as it gets.

I have never been one to grovel at the feet of others for their friendship either. If you find me boring then good riddance.
 
New parents are usually boring, but OP sounds pretty boring himself. What going on is so exciting in your life? Posting about boring people on a video game forum?
 
Tabris said:
So I'm at the age where some of my old friends are married and having their first children (early 30s) and without fail, the same truth always emerges - they become boring.

So first, caveat, I am not the best person as it'll probably won't be until I'm 40 before I have my first kid as currently I tend to only date women in their early 20s. But this also gives me a better perspective having my foot in both ponds (early 30s and early 20s) and I've just noticed this more and more.

I could never ask my friends this. And I know the answer will be about your time being prioritized around your child as they are the most important person in your life blah blah. I get that. I understand people not being able to go out as often if barely at all. I don't have an issue with that, I've had moments like that when I was doing part time school when I was younger and lately working on my startup.

The issue is that when they do get a chance to go out - they have nothing interesting to talk about anymore. We'll be at the bar and they'll just talk about either 1) the child and what's happening with them. 2) what they just watched on tv. Zzz.
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All of these statements are completely objective. 'Boring' and 'interesting' are your opinion. They may find themselves to be quite interesting and enjoy their lives quite a bit with their new child.

Also, the fact that you tend to go towards 'early 20s' women is a pretty strong point that you don't, and won't 'get it' for some time. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, but clearly you are at a different stage of life than your 'friends'.

Note: I'm a late 20s with no kids.
 
Your friends are probably just as bored by you blathering about one or both of the Mannings.
 
Risible said:
Yes, that's exactly it. Congrats an cracking the secret parent code! Hope the kegger is fun this weekend breh.
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The best part is people like that think parents never did these "fun" things before having kids. I've been to keggers and such after my kid was born and I thought to myself, "ugh...I don't miss this crap at all" and ended up going home early. The joy I get out of waking up without a hangover and taking my kid to bobble around the park on a Saturday morning far exceeds the joy I got out of trying to remember the rager I had the night before, if I needed to send any apology texts, or trying to figure out how I actually spent that much at the bar the night before.
 
A lot of judgemental little bitches on here. While I wouldn't quite put it how the OP did, I understand where he is coming from. My experience with people who have children (or even some people who get into a very serious relationship suddenly) is they tend to withdraw from their friends because they don't have time or money to be more involved with other people. This kills the friendship because they don't talk to you at all and you eventually become so withdrawn from their lives that there really isn't any reason to keep communicating.

I had this exact experience where I had a friend who had a child unexpectedly, I sent them congratulations and a gift for the child and to this day I haven't heard any reply from them. Not even a simple, thank you - I don't have children but I can't imagine they take up SO much of your time you can't even text someone back a two word response. Oh well, I can accept your child is your total priority now but at least you can't say I didn't try. "See you in another life" and move on is the best way to handle flaky friends whether they have children or not.
 
While I'm not having kids yet, when I "settled down" with my then gf now fiancee, my buddies all started getting bored with everything I was saying about my relationship. They told me straight up I was a boring person.

Yet I was getting bored listening to the constant stories about booze and weed and partying.

Perspectives change. It's all about which side you're on. Once you shift, the other becomes boring.
 
B!TCH said:
.

I had this exact experience where I had a friend who had a child unexpectedly, I sent them congratulations and a gift for the child and to this day I haven't heard any reply from them. Not even a simple, thank you - I don't have children but I can't imagine they take up SO much of your time you can't even text someone back a two word response. Oh well, I can accept your child is your total priority now but at least you can't say I didn't try. "See you in another life" and move on is the best way to handle flaky friends whether they have children or not.
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Yeah, that is shitty and there is no excuse for it, at all
 
It is amusing how both sides are viewing the other as boring. And both sides make very valid points.

The oddest group are childless couples who lose all contact with their friends because they are just so enamored with this other person. Its like....why? There is honestly no reason you should lose all contact with your friends unless you and your friends had very shallow friendships in the first place.
 
Your face is boring.

My friends never went to bars. We went to someone's man-cave and drank cheaper, higher quality beer. I'm actually the last of my core group of friends to have a kid, so I'm not getting a whole lot of blowback or accusations of being boring. I can't always get out on last-minute plans, but my wife and I have a system.

She's not as social as I am, so it's been a challenge getting her to go out and leave the kid with me. She's one of those "everything has to be 50/50 fair" type of people, so it took her a while to realize that the solution wasn't for me to go out a lot less (it's definitely less), but for her to go out more. Admittedly, I had to pull the "I make 3/4 of our income, going out and having an occasional cigar HAS to be OK" play that I never thought I'd have to make. She's seeing the new Hunger Games movie tonight with a friend, while I watch Miles. When she gets home from the movie, I get to go outside with a nice cigar and some quality bourbon.

Eventually, I'll be able to ride roller coasters with my son, I'll have an excuse to get every video game system at Christmas (it's "for Miles"), and I'll even get to go back to Disney World! When I'm doing all this cool stuff with my little man and you're still going to bars, who will be the boring person then?
 
depends on people. I know people who have kids who stuck with keeping to their same hobbies and lifestyle so they retain interesting personalities. people who aren't able to balance between being a new parent and their old hobbies/interests end up being boring and hard to talk to.
 
OP kinda sounds like an inconsiderate crappy friend. New parents are typically broke, sleep deprived and limited on free time. How bout you bend a little and try new things if those relationships are important to you?
 
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