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[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

:lol Why are you guys still responding? I thought we were done pages ago.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I don't know what you want me to say. I apologized already.

This is actually fairly frustrating to me because I absolutely didn't mean it in that way.

I'll just take the advice above and stop posting in here.

There is no reason to stop posting if you actually find the advice in here useful. If you're genuinely sorry then all is good I'm over it.

But yes, people in general do not like snark just to keep in mind for future posts

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

I have a general question, I'm curious people's opinions. If you're just starting to date someone/talk to them and something about them bothers you but you like everything else, would you bring it up? Or would you just stop talking to them and assume it's not worth it?

The couple times I've brought something like that up I've gotten super negative reactions from it. Like for example with the last woman where I told her some of her jokes just come off as insults, I really enjoyed talking to her otherwise but she seemed unhappy with me explaining that and acted really weird going forward. I don't think I said it in a mean or confrontational way but I guess maybe I shouldn't say anything as it's too early or just decide if it's a dealbreaker and cut contact.

 

[GK86]

Usually, I don't say anything since people can get defensive. Depending on what it is, I just try to deal with it. If it too much, I bail.

 

[Coda]

I have a general question, I'm curious people's opinions. If you're just starting to date someone/talk to them and something about them bothers you but you like everything else, would you bring it up? Or would you just stop talking to them and assume it's not worth it?

The couple times I've brought something like that up I've gotten super negative reactions from it. Like for example with the last woman where I told her some of her jokes just come off as insults, I really enjoyed talking to her otherwise but she seemed unhappy with me explaining that and acted really weird going forward. I don't think I said it in a mean or confrontational way but I guess maybe I shouldn't say anything as it's too early or just decide if it's a dealbreaker and cut contact.

Most of the time people can't deal with that kind of criticism, but I still think it's better to address it if you still really like the person otherwise. If the person is worth it they will understand and admit their faults.

 

[isny]

I have a general question, I'm curious people's opinions. If you're just starting to date someone/talk to them and something about them bothers you but you like everything else, would you bring it up? Or would you just stop talking to them and assume it's not worth it?

The couple times I've brought something like that up I've gotten super negative reactions from it. Like for example with the last woman where I told her some of her jokes just come off as insults, I really enjoyed talking to her otherwise but she seemed unhappy with me explaining that and acted really weird going forward. I don't think I said it in a mean or confrontational way but I guess maybe I shouldn't say anything as it's too early or just decide if it's a dealbreaker and cut contact.

It totally depends on what it is, but I'd generally wait to bring it up until you've spent more time with them.

 

[Kopite]

Sorry for the double post, I wanted to separate these two.
Texting her every once and a while to say what's up is like, the opposite of losing interest. If she feels 'smothered' that you would text her every once and while, or fails to respond because she's 'too busy', then it seems like she's too busy to be in a relationship. Relationships require time and effort to foster, and if she's just 'too tired' for you, then it sounds like she's not interested enough in you to give you a couple hours every other week or so. Or send a text saying hi.

Alright, I'll text her more often then.

 

[gaiages]

I have a general question, I'm curious people's opinions. If you're just starting to date someone/talk to them and something about them bothers you but you like everything else, would you bring it up? Or would you just stop talking to them and assume it's not worth it?

The couple times I've brought something like that up I've gotten super negative reactions from it. Like for example with the last woman where I told her some of her jokes just come off as insults, I really enjoyed talking to her otherwise but she seemed unhappy with me explaining that and acted really weird going forward. I don't think I said it in a mean or confrontational way but I guess maybe I shouldn't say anything as it's too early or just decide if it's a dealbreaker and cut contact.

I mean, it really depends on how you say it, and how the person is. A lot of the time the other person is going to get defensive unless you know each other really well. I'd say deal with it for a while, usually, unless it is something like a dealbreaker. If it is, I see no problem at least bringing it up, since if you're really that against it you're probably going to drop her anyway.

Generally bringing up people's faults and trying to work on them (and your own faults) is something less in a dating phase and more during an actual relationship phase, but that's my opinion.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Usually, I don't say anything since people can get defensive. Depending on what it is, I just try to deal with it. If it too much, I bail.

Most of the time people can't deal with that kind of criticism, but I still think it's better to address it if you still really like the person otherwise. If the person is worth it they will understand and admit their faults.

It totally depends on what it is, but I'd generally wait to bring it up until you've spent more time with them.

Cool, pretty much what I thought. Thanks everybody.

I mean, it really depends on how you say it, and how the person is. A lot of the time the other person is going to get defensive unless you know each other really well. I'd say deal with it for a while, usually, unless it is something like a dealbreaker. If it is, I see no problem at least bringing it up, since if you're really that against it you're probably going to drop her anyway.

Generally bringing up people's faults and trying to work on them (and your own faults) is something less in a dating phase and more during an actual relationship phase, but that's my opinion.

Yeah, I mean naturally it depends on what it is so a little difficult to talk about without getting into specifics. The last one I was going to cancel our date anyhow because they just felt like insults to me so I didn't really care that time since I had nothing to lose. The date was already cancelled in my mind. But yeah, I completely get what you're saying. I guess it's more that if it was slightly fixed it wouldn't be something to stop talking to them for but it's annoying enough that it makes it difficult to continue talking to them so I feel torn at times about ending it. I think I just have to be more decisive about how much it bothers me and choose accordingly. Thanks

 

[gwailo]

She told me a while ago she has pretty high anxiety, so she really only does anything after she's really comfortable with someone.

So now it's anxiety. Or is it her health? Or is it because she lives with her dad?

She sounds like she's good at manipulating people.

Whatever, have fun, but don't come back complaining after you go through another 2 months of not seeing her.

 

[Xun]

How long ago? I dress a bit more casually now to be honest, even if some of the shoes and jackets I wear are decent (albeit relatively cheap). Do I really come across like that? I find that a bit laughable to be honest, especially since that couldn't be further from the truth.

My friends don't think there's anything particularly wrong with what has been said in text, even if I have my doubts. Things have certainly died down a bit, but I don't think my anxiety is helping matters at all either.

Tomorrow I'll be going to the pub she works at (it's my local after all), so assuming she's working I'll see how she responds. That said, I won't go out of my way to speak with her.

I thought I stood a good chance since she initially instigated it, so it'll be a shame if it hasn't worked out.

Why can't things be simple?

She sent me a text asking if I was still at the pub (she probably knew I was there since her friend and I had bumped into each other earlier), but right from the get go she was acting a bit cold with me.

They asked me and my friend if we were going to a bar after and once we finished up our drinks we ventured there. We barely spoke at all and she spent most of the time chatting with friends (which is fair enough of course) and dancing with other guys, perhaps as some sort of test? It's all a fucking headache.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

I feel like you've already slightly crossed the line of 'showing too much interest'. I mean it does sound like she was totally into you, but her silence now is a little discomforting.

At this point, I'd leave it in the oven for a couple days. If she texts again but it's just chit chat, reply with chit chat. If nothing happens for a few days, throw out the dinner thing once again. The ball is in her court... and maybe she's just busy, but if she's interested, she'll get back to you. The important thing is that you've expressed your interest clearly, and now the rest is up to her.

I hope you're right. The last girl I was pushy with after a date was back in 2011. Four years ago, and back then I told myself I wouldn't let it happen again. I've done well since then, but now this happened to me again.

It's funny, because a girl from my gym was at my work shopping, and she asked for my number to hang out with a bunch of her friends. By the time I met up with her, most of her friends left, and it was just her and I bar hopping. She was cute, educated, and has money, but I didn't go text crazy with her the following days. She texted me first, but it's probably because I don't see the attraction.

I'm at work feeling lethargic and a little down because I know I may have screwed this up. But I won't know for sure until she doesn't want to hang out anymore.

 

[Reckoner]

There's a coworker who has been showing interest in me, but she started pushing things a bit more lately, to the point where it's blatantly obvious and that I have to do something about it - even a coworker closer to me said today that she talked to her about her interest.

I didn't do anything, but after a couple days of thinking about it I feel like I actually like her and would like to give it a try. There's an obvious chemistry between us. We goof around when we have the chance to talk and have fun moments, but those are not frequent because of how our job is. Outside of work I only gave her a ride home once and we had a nice chat a couple of months ago. I'm now feeling like asking her out, but would like some advice on how to approach the situation, since we're in the workplace (Things at high school were easier lmao) and we're in separate sections, so we don't usually have much time for conversation, etc. Should I just go ask her out out of nowhere?

 

[isny]

There's a coworker who has been showing interest in me, but she started pushing things a bit more lately, to the point where it's blatantly obvious and that I have to do something about it - even a coworker closer to me said today that she talked to her about her interest.

I didn't do anything, but after a couple days of thinking about it I feel like I actually like her and would like to give it a try. There's an obvious chemistry between us. We goof around when we have the chance to talk and have fun moments, but those are not frequent because of how our job is. Outside of work I only gave her a ride home once and we had a nice chat a couple of months ago. I'm now feeling like asking her out, but would like some advice on how to approach the situation, since we're in the workplace (Things at high school were easier lmao) and we're in separate sections, so we don't usually have much time for conversation, etc. Should I just go ask her out out of nowhere?

Just add her on FB and ask her out there. Tell her you didn't feel it was appropriate asking in the office.

 

[Reckoner]

Just add her on FB and ask her out there. Tell her you didn't feel it was appropriate asking in the office.

I feel like just asking face to face. We don't work at an office or anything. It's just my part-time job as store clerk to get some money for studies.

 

[isny]

I feel like just asking face to face. We don't work at an office or anything. It's just my part-time job as store clerk to get some money for studies.

Oh, I just assumed you had an office job. Retail is a different story. It seems like you know what you want to do, so just go for it. The worst the happens is she says no and it's awkward. Or that you sleep with her and then it becomes awkward. Or, nevermind, in retail where you're working that closely with someone...this is a bad idea. It's going to end badly. Or you'll get married? But it'll probably end badly and awkwardly and one of you may quit over it.

 

[GK86]

Just make small talk and then ask her out.

 

[Reckoner]

Oh, I just assumed you had an office job. Retail is a different story. It seems like you know what you want to do, so just go for it. The worst the happens is she says no and it's awkward. Or that you sleep with her and then it becomes awkward. Or, nevermind, in retail where you're working that closely with someone...this is a bad idea. It's going to end badly. Or you'll get married? But it'll probably end badly and awkwardly and one of you may quit over it.

That's why after all this time I didn't make any move and I gave some thought to it when she started pushing things over the last few days before doing anything. Exactly because of that. But I came to the conclusion that I actually like her and that if things don't work out it's not a big deal, because I don't plan on being at my current job much longer. I also have a good history of getting over it and have a friendly relationship.

 

[stn]

@RayWonder

So here's the deal.

1. Speaking for myself, I don't take delight in giving people tough advice. Its meant to be tough so that the person realizes the stakes. Why? Because the people asking for advice are usually victims of their own emotions. They cannot see reason.

2. We are not there in person, we can only give opinions based on what you've written.

3. You asked us for advice. We gave. Everyone gave similar advice because we've seen your situation billions of times. You seem to be one of the very few exceptions to the rule I've ever seen.

4. Just because you went on a third date doesn't mean you're officially "in". I will gladly eat my own shit if you end up telling us you guys are officially dating. But I wouldn't get too cocky after one date.

5. This is one of the very few times I remember GAF being "wrong". But I'll reserve judgment until you guys are official an item. FWIW, I would trust GAF if I had relationship issues.

Glad to hear things worked out. But please don't think we're some kind of mystical beings bestowing our wisdom on our peasant subjects. We're all just regular people going through the same dating problems, we're not your enemies or adversaries.

 

[Nether!]

Went on my first date in probably close to a year, it lasted 11 hours — much too long.

I had a fine time, but the science exhibit turned into drinks and then that turned into her friend joining us and then that turned into a few of us going to her friend's place and then that turned into us all going to my pal's house party.

I'm left the next day with absolutely no interest in seeing her again for at least a few weeks and, at this point, I feel like I've lost any interest in her, romantically.

I'll try dating again in a year or so haha.

 

[gwailo]

Went on my first date in probably close to a year, it lasted 11 hours — much too long.

I had a fine time, but the science exhibit turned into drinks and then that turned into her friend joining us and then that turned into a few of us going to her friend's place and then that turned into us all going to my pal's house party.

I'm left the next day with absolutely no interest in seeing her again for at least a few weeks and, at this point, I feel like I've lost any interest in her, romantically.

I'll try dating again in a year or so haha.

She probably doesn't have any romantic interest either if she invited a friend to join you guys.

 

[Nether!]

She probably doesn't have any romantic interest either if she invited a friend to join you guys.

Maybe! Not really something I'm worried about though at this point.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Holy shitsnacks and crackers and Jesus Mary'n Joseph Stalin. She texted back!

What a fucking RELIEF! She said, yeah we can def do dinner.

So here's the deal. Like I said, she just moved to Florida and during the date, she asked about any sushi restaurants around. Should I tell her about a great place called hot tuna to take her?

 

[vern]

Holy shitsnacks and crackers and Jesus Mary'n Joseph Stalin. She texted back!

What a fucking RELIEF! She said, yeah we can def do dinner.

So here's the deal. Like I said, she just moved to Florida and during the date, she asked about any sushi restaurants around. Should I tell her about a great place called hot tuna to take her?

Chill bro.

Don't tell her the name of it. Tell her when you'll take her.

 

[isny]

Holy shitsnacks and crackers and Jesus Mary'n Joseph Stalin. She texted back!

What a fucking RELIEF! She said, yeah we can def do dinner.

So here's the deal. Like I said, she just moved to Florida and during the date, she asked about any sushi restaurants around. Should I tell her about a great place called hot tuna to take her?

Hey baby, want to come over to my place for some hot tuna?

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Oh definitely. I'm not going to rush this one.

 

[GK86]

I usually say, I have a placed picked out that I think you would like. If they press for info, I tell them it is a surprise.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Girl said she needed time to think about things after we've barely been taking. Almost wish she'd not respond instead. Oh well
😞

How does someone learn to be more easy going and personable? Need to work on that

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

She texted me around 8:30. Probably better to text back tomorrow, right? Also, she's working for sprint until she can get back to cutting hair. I don't know when she's off, and I'm off Monday's and Friday's, the rest of the days I close and leave around 10:30pm.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

She texted me around 8:30. Probably better to text back tomorrow, right? Also, she's working for sprint until she can get back to cutting hair. I don't know when she's off, and I'm off Monday's and Friday's, the rest of the days I close and leave around 10:30pm.

If you're deciding how to space text messages you're way over thinking things. I know you don't want to be pushy but you also don't need to go the other way.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Went out last night with the girl -- nice wine bar, then headed back to my place for more drinks, a massage, some intimate moments (tm), and enough drinks that I ended up watching The Notebook.

Set my OKCupid profile to "in an open relationship" and "mostly monogamous." She did too. Kind of interesting, this feeling. I've met her parents. She has a toothbrush (and dog bed, for her pup) at my place. I'm getting her a key to my apartment, even.

Going out on dates with other people is going to be interesting from now on...

 

[ZackieChan]

Went out last night with the girl -- nice wine bar, then headed back to my place for more drinks, a massage, some intimate moments (tm), and enough drinks that I ended up watching The Notebook.

Set my OKCupid profile to "in an open relationship" and "mostly monogamous." She did too. Kind of interesting, this feeling. I've met her parents. She has a toothbrush (and dog bed, for her pup) at my place. I'm getting her a key to my apartment, even.

Going out on dates with other people is going to be interesting from now on...

You should use the actual ™ symbol, you noob lawyer.

 

[Pickman]

My love life has taken a hard nose dive into the shitter because I failed to realize the woman I was falling really hard for was, in fact, pretty unstable.

Started dating back in October and she had a crisis of self about a week and a half ago.

What I initially saw as fun and exciting spontaneity that got me out of my shell a bit, I've now realized is an inability to commit to anything. She'll flake last minute or expect me to be available for plans with 5 or 10 minutes notice.

She's also still crushing hard on a former FWB who she knows is destructive for her, but she recently told me that until those feelings go away she can't take anything between us more seriously.

I was really, really into her. Liked her kind nature and easy laugh. Didn't hurt that the sex was great. But now I'm just in a state between an irrational but loud voice in my head saying I should wait for her to figure her shit out and then embrace the "free spirit" in her, and the other side of me that is saying, "This is how things go from uncomfortable to toxic, just avoid her."

Top that off with a girl I've known online via MMOs moving within a relatively decent distance recently. Saturday we met up and we had a pretty great time out together. I could tell she was feeling it, and I liked her as well, but I don't know if it's something that's worth pursuing since she lives about 30-40 minutes from me.

I just don't know what to do. Having emotions is taxing as fuck.

 

[isny]

Went out last night with the girl -- nice wine bar, then headed back to my place for more drinks, a massage, some intimate moments (tm), and enough drinks that I ended up watching The Notebook.

Set my OKCupid profile to "in an open relationship" and "mostly monogamous." She did too. Kind of interesting, this feeling. I've met her parents. She has a toothbrush (and dog bed, for her pup) at my place. I'm getting her a key to my apartment, even.

Going out on dates with other people is going to be interesting from now on...

If you ever want to get married I'd suggest against an open relationship. It's great while it lasts and then you realize it'll never work long term and it's not worth the trouble.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

My love life has taken a hard nose dive into the shitter because I failed to realize the woman I was falling really hard for was, in fact, pretty unstable.

Started dating back in October and she had a crisis of self about a week and a half ago.

What I initially saw as fun and exciting spontaneity that got me out of my shell a bit, I've now realized is an inability to commit to anything. She'll flake last minute or expect me to be available for plans with 5 or 10 minutes notice.

She's also still crushing hard on a former FWB who she knows is destructive for her, but she recently told me that until those feelings go away she can't take anything between us more seriously.

I was really, really into her. Liked her kind nature and easy laugh. Didn't hurt that the sex was great. But now I'm just in a state between an irrational but loud voice in my head saying I should wait for her to figure her shit out and then embrace the "free spirit" in her, and the other side of me that is saying, "This is how things go from uncomfortable to toxic, just avoid her."

Top that off with a girl I've known online via MMOs moving within a relatively decent distance recently. Saturday we met up and we had a pretty great time out together. I could tell she was feeling it, and I liked her as well, but I don't know if it's something that's worth pursuing since she lives about 30-40 minutes from me.

I just don't know what to do. Having emotions is taxing as fuck.

It really is man. 30-40 minutes isn't that far. The first girl does seem unstable, though. If you think the second girl is great, I'd give the first girl an ultimatum. If she refuses, drop her for the second girl if you're interested in her.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

If you ever want to get married I'd suggest against an open relationship. It's great while it lasts and then you realize it'll never work long term and it's not worth the trouble.

I've been married. My ex-wife is my best friend. I may, at some point, set up a threesome between her and my girlfriend.

In other words: everything I do is trouble.

 

[isny]

I've been married. My ex-wife is my best friend. I may, at some point, set up a threesome between her and my girlfriend.

In other words: everything I do is trouble.

Have fun with that, lol

 

[Weckum]

Weirdest thing happened to me last night. Went out with this girl I've been on a couple of dates with. Stuff has already happened and we're in that weird spot between dating and the start of a relationshippy kinda thing.

Anyway, she's drunk, and drunk people talk. We're talking about us, being all smoochy, how we like each other yadayadayada.

At one point she says in her drunkenness: "I wish I didn't, but I really really like you"

What should I even make of this? It's clear that she likes me (both through actions and words), but what the fuck with the first part?

We got kicked out of the bar shortly after because it was closing time so I couldn't really follow up on it. Should I ask her when she's sober what she meant by saying that?

 

[Interface23]

My love life has taken a hard nose dive into the shitter because I failed to realize the woman I was falling really hard for was, in fact, pretty unstable.

Started dating back in October and she had a crisis of self about a week and a half ago.

What I initially saw as fun and exciting spontaneity that got me out of my shell a bit, I've now realized is an inability to commit to anything. She'll flake last minute or expect me to be available for plans with 5 or 10 minutes notice.

She's also still crushing hard on a former FWB who she knows is destructive for her, but she recently told me that until those feelings go away she can't take anything between us more seriously.

I was really, really into her. Liked her kind nature and easy laugh. Didn't hurt that the sex was great. But now I'm just in a state between an irrational but loud voice in my head saying I should wait for her to figure her shit out and then embrace the "free spirit" in her, and the other side of me that is saying, "This is how things go from uncomfortable to toxic, just avoid her."

Top that off with a girl I've known online via MMOs moving within a relatively decent distance recently. Saturday we met up and we had a pretty great time out together. I could tell she was feeling it, and I liked her as well, but I don't know if it's something that's worth pursuing since she lives about 30-40 minutes from me.

I just don't know what to do. Having emotions is taxing as fuck.

My ex was unstable as fuck too. Ultimately you have to do what's good for you, even if it seems crazy. For you it seems you should try the 30-40 minute thing, for me I'd give anything for that unstable girl.

 

[Polioliolio]

I hope you're right. The last girl I was pushy with after a date was back in 2011. Four years ago, and back then I told myself I wouldn't let it happen again. I've done well since then, but now this happened to me again.

It's funny, because a girl from my gym was at my work shopping, and she asked for my number to hang out with a bunch of her friends. By the time I met up with her, most of her friends left, and it was just her and I bar hopping. She was cute, educated, and has money, but I didn't go text crazy with her the following days. She texted me first, but it's probably because I don't see the attraction.

I'm at work feeling lethargic and a little down because I know I may have screwed this up. But I won't know for sure until she doesn't want to hang out anymore.

There's this feeling we have when courting women.. this idea that we have to make all the correct moves or fail.. That idea is going to absolutely be true in a relationship that's frail to begin with.... Any truly compatible relationship is not going to depend on a very specific moment, or a specific action on your part. If things are "meant to be" your missteps won't truly be missteps. You'll always have another chance.

I mean, I totally know how you feel. A while back, I fought so hard playing an emotional game of tag to do all the right things and try to secure a relationship with this one girl. I wanted it to be so, sooo badly, and while I got to taste it briefly, it was a constant battle to try to keep things going right. That's not a relationship that would ever work.

But anyway, even in the the most difficult looking situations... if you simply express interest... give a reasonable amount of time and express interest again, you've done everything you need to do. Anything that you would perceive as messing up is likely the feeling, the result, of an incompatibility and your struggle to fit a square peg into a round hole.


So don't play that game with yourself. Relax. Be yourself. And yes, follow up.. don't worry too much about wheat I said about expressing too much interest. If you sense you've done that, ease up. When you pass the ball to the other player, it really is up to them. You can't force it, and that's going to be where you feel you'll be failing the most.

So relax, don't fixate on an individual until you know you're playing ball.

 

[Xun]

Why can't things be simple?

She sent me a text asking if I was still at the pub (she probably knew I was there since her friend and I had bumped into each other earlier), but right from the get go she was acting a bit cold with me.

They asked me and my friend if we were going to a bar after and once we finished up our drinks we ventured there. We barely spoke at all and she spent most of the time chatting with friends (which is fair enough of course) and dancing with other guys, perhaps as some sort of test? It's all a fucking headache.

I take it there's no reason to continue bothering with this, right?

I really don't understand what went wrong.

 

[Fallout-NL]

There's this feeling we have when courting women.. this idea that we have to make all the correct moves or fail.. That idea is going to absolutely be true in a relationship that's frail to begin with.... Any truly compatible relationship is not going to depend on a very specific moment, or a specific action on your part. If things are "meant to be" your missteps won't truly be missteps. You'll always have another chance.

I mean, I totally know how you feel. A while back, I fought so hard playing an emotional game of tag to do all the right things and try to secure a relationship with this one girl. I wanted it to be so, sooo badly, and while I got to taste it briefly, it was a constant battle to try to keep things going right. That's not a relationship that would ever work.

But anyway, even in the the most difficult looking situations... if you simply express interest... give a reasonable amount of time and express interest again, you've done everything you need to do. Anything that you would perceive as messing up is likely the feeling, the result, of an incompatibility and your struggle to fit a square peg into a round hole.


So don't play that game with yourself. Relax. Be yourself. And yes, follow up.. don't worry too much about wheat I said about expressing too much interest. If you sense you've done that, ease up. When you pass the ball to the other player, it really is up to them. You can't force it, and that's going to be where you feel you'll be failing the most.

So relax, don't fixate on an individual until you know you're playing ball.

This is excellent advice.

 

[Joey Fox]

Don't get attached to someone engaged over long distance. I feel so stupid. My brains go out the window if a girl is pretty enough and says exciting things.

 

[ZackieChan]

Don't get attached to someone engaged over long distance. I feel so stupid. My brains go out the window if a girl is pretty enough and says exciting things.

It's difficult but not impossible. I wouldn't recommend it, though. My first love was long distance in the early days of the Internet (text-only Delphi). If physical contact is something you desire on a regular basis, it is a huge mistake.

 

[GK86]

Should I ask her when she's sober what she meant by saying that?

If she proves it with actions, just let it be.

I take it there's no reason to continue bothering with this, right?

I really don't understand what went wrong.

Sounds like she got jealous.

I wouldn't, but it is because I hate playing stupid games.

 

[Joey Fox]

It's difficult but not impossible. I wouldn't recommend it, though. My first love was long distance in the early days of the Internet (text-only Delphi). If physical contact is something you desire on a regular basis, it is a huge mistake.

Could be that was the problem for her. I'll get over it, knew her less than a month.

 

[gaiages]

My love life has taken a hard nose dive into the shitter because I failed to realize the woman I was falling really hard for was, in fact, pretty unstable.

Started dating back in October and she had a crisis of self about a week and a half ago.

What I initially saw as fun and exciting spontaneity that got me out of my shell a bit, I've now realized is an inability to commit to anything. She'll flake last minute or expect me to be available for plans with 5 or 10 minutes notice.

She's also still crushing hard on a former FWB who she knows is destructive for her, but she recently told me that until those feelings go away she can't take anything between us more seriously.

I was really, really into her. Liked her kind nature and easy laugh. Didn't hurt that the sex was great. But now I'm just in a state between an irrational but loud voice in my head saying I should wait for her to figure her shit out and then embrace the "free spirit" in her, and the other side of me that is saying, "This is how things go from uncomfortable to toxic, just avoid her."

Top that off with a girl I've known online via MMOs moving within a relatively decent distance recently. Saturday we met up and we had a pretty great time out together. I could tell she was feeling it, and I liked her as well, but I don't know if it's something that's worth pursuing since she lives about 30-40 minutes from me.

I just don't know what to do. Having emotions is taxing as fuck.

Damn, sounds rough, sorry man.

I will mention that 30-40 mins isn't really that bad, though. Meeting up once a week (or once every other week) at that distance is very doable provided you have cars. You can even meet halfway.

If you ever want to get married I'd suggest against an open relationship. It's great while it lasts and then you realize it'll never work long term and it's not worth the trouble.

I'm sure there's plenty of people that make an open married relationship work. Of course, monogamous relationships are still the norm though, so yeah...

Weirdest thing happened to me last night. Went out with this girl I've been on a couple of dates with. Stuff has already happened and we're in that weird spot between dating and the start of a relationshippy kinda thing.

Anyway, she's drunk, and drunk people talk. We're talking about us, being all smoochy, how we like each other yadayadayada.

At one point she says in her drunkenness: "I wish I didn't, but I really really like you"

What should I even make of this? It's clear that she likes me (both through actions and words), but what the fuck with the first part?

We got kicked out of the bar shortly after because it was closing time so I couldn't really follow up on it. Should I ask her when she's sober what she meant by saying that?

Uh, I think you're overthinking what a drunk person's saying.

She says she likes you, take it as a win?

I take it there's no reason to continue bothering with this, right?

I really don't understand what went wrong.

Did you ask her if something was wrong?

Then again, she was dancing with other guys, so she sounds sort of petty...

 

[ZackieChan]

Dating in Thailand as a white American is like playing a game on easy mode. Had a great coffee and movie date that turned into lots of hand holding and snuggling, then a few kisses at the end. Seeing each other again on Wednesday. Really cute, but Neogaf's Vern is a hater. One of the few girls I've met that looks exactly like photos! It's a rare find.

 

[Jokab]

Dating in Thailand as a white American is like playing a game on easy mode. Had a great coffee and movie date that turned into lots of hand holding and snuggling, then a few kisses at the end. Seeing each other again on Wednesday. Really cute, but Neogaf's Vern is a hater. One of the few girls I've met that looks exactly like photos! It's a rare find.

Literally every girl I've pursued have looked better than in photos, it's actually crazy. I always have to tell my friends "trust me she looks better in real life". The two that didn't I never scheduled a second date with.

 

[Howard Ballou]

I take it there's no reason to continue bothering with this, right?

I really don't understand what went wrong.

Not sure of all the backstory on this, but have you been on a date with her/asked her on a date?