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[Bruce Springsteen]

^^ You're welcome.

I eventually end up hanging out with some of these girls because my friends photography business. I mainly help her set things up especially when we're doing shoots on the go, and naturally, when we're finished up doing work, we head out to lunch, dinner, whatever. There are a few in particular that I hang around with due to them going to my school.

They attract so much attention. Guys breaking their necks to look at them when they drive by, one instance, some pompous college bros yelled out the car window to tell one of the girls she has a "fat ass." while going to get some lunch.

I mean, I think they are attractive myself, but as said, the attention they end up getting is just absurd. It's like a carcass in a field with vultures coming in to get a look and taste of it.

Not even some of my friends can handle themselves lol. They sometimes ramble about how I should be trying to "get with them" and how "lucky" I am to be around them. They get confused when I say that I'm not exactly interested in dating them as if it should be my dream to. I've gotten stupid comments from my family as well, but my sister found that what I was saying was interesting when I spoke to her about this.

Lol, I've learned how fucking childish some guys can be.

Some of you can laugh at me if you'd like, I'm just sharing an opinion and thought to see if anyone feels this way.

Apparently, no one here really does, which is fine.

I still don't understand, have you actually gone on a date with any of these "model" girls?

 

[ZackieChan]

I still don't understand, have you actually gone on a date with any of these "model" girls?

Doesn't sound like it. He just wanted to know if we're upset about what other people say when we're out with a date. For the record, I don't care. I was walking with a date in China recently, and this drunk guy started talking shit. "Fuck Obama" and "Do you like Chinese girlfriend," etc. Wanted to slap him, but didn't. I don't need to end up in no Chinese prison or labor camp.

Honestly, their post sounds like a weird stealth brag.

 

[Krauser Kat]

Same girl? Why are you seeing her again?

Or are you just really bad with pronoun usage?

Kind of bad at pronouns, but i meant i am seeing a different girl tonight that i havent seen in a couple weeks.

 

[ZackieChan]

Kind of bad at pronouns, but i meant i am seeing a different girl tonight that i havent seen in a couple weeks.

Good luck. Just ignore the other one. I guess some people hear what they want to hear (talking about girl #1, the "crazy" one)

 

[RedVladimir]

I thought the conversation between me and that girl was going well, but she's not responded since midnight Tuesday. Granted she said to me that she had to get up early for a long shift, but should I assume she's not interested if she doesn't respond?

I'm not sure whether to just leave it or send another message?

If she's playing games it's certainly working since it's all driving me nuts.

I'm about to go on a third date (couple date) tomorrow, and this girl never texts me first. The last time we texted was Tuesday.

Don't get clingy like I did after the first date I had with this girl. GAF and even myself knew that was foolish, and don't ask her why she never responds to your texts. I guess some girls are like that.

I would like to advise you (and any other guy in a similar situation) of a sort rule.

Yes, it is not uncommon to find girls that are not chatty, or maybe do not like to text first. But this notion does not generally apply to a woman that is invested in knowing another man's life (hopefully one she is attracted to). So little initiation? I'll give you that. But waning conversation? That's not good.

Understand this: dialogue reciprocation is (as your gut tells you) a very accurate gauge of a girl's level of interest in you. Period.

Do NOT let her accurately predict your level of investment in the interaction. If you are a good dude and she finds you attractive, she needs to know this is not that big of a deal to you (bizarre, I know). How do you do this? Well, the often heard advice is to text less than she does. This is solid advice, and should be followed if all else fails. However, the best trick is this:

Text immediately. Text shortly there after. Text long time afterwards. Or not at all.

Mix and match the above to keep her guessing. The only function of writing less than her is to suggest a lower level of investment. However, this "trick" is so played out by many, everyone's caught on that this supposed lesser level of involvement is usually forced. Worse, your dialogue become less and less interesting as you almost programatically start auto-correcting your texts to conform to some divine rule.

So the plan is this: if you text her immediately it carries an undertone of care. Texting long time afterwards implies you are busy and she's not the focus of your life (which is attractive). Texting shortly there after--usually accompanied by a less text characters compared to her (use with care)--connote you're interested in what she has to say, but you didn't put too much (or as much) thought in the response.

And then there's nothing at all. Contrary to poplar belief, you want to pull this off not when her level of engagement seemingly wanes, but at the height of it. (And sparingly.)

Again, the trick is to not seem overeager, while keeping her engaged but also guessing. Courtship is specially exciting when it's different; not predictable.

There are a lot that disagree that texting requires this level of "strategy" or tricks. But these same people would agree, for instance, that writing "lol" in every text carries non-serious connotations. Or that WRITING LIKE THIS MEANS YELLING (even though it really isn't). Or that someone with proper use of grammatical devices is more invested (and statistically more mature). Well, it is all part of the game.

Subtext is most important when you lack body language from a live interaction.

 

[Llyranor]

I agree you should text less. But I also don't think texting should involve mind games.

When you're interacting with a girl that doesn't text much, you know how it affects you. It keeps you guessing, it might stress you out. You spend all that time anticipating her texts that don't come.

Now, she COULD be playing mind games. Or she could simply be busy, or doesn't like texting all day and prefers sitting down at the end of the day to properly gather her thoughts and write her texts.

Since you know how it affects you, you could technically play a similar game with her in terms of reducing text frequency. It might work.

Instead of focusing your texting on how it affects her, focus on how it affects YOU. You're sitting around just waiting for her texts. Is she busy? Is she uninterested? But our last date went so well! Did she change her mind? Is she seeing other people? Is that why she's so busy? I hope I don't screw this up, I better send her another text to see what's up. Wait, am I seeming too clingy? Oh man, why won't she text?

Why?

De-invest yourself (not from her, but from waiting around and anticipating her texts). Go do other things, keep yourself busy, get your mind off her, stop keeping your phone with you at all times and stop checking it all the time. Instead of stressing out and anticipating and imagining all kinds of scenarios, this helps you keep a level head.

So yes, text as much or less than she does, but do it for yourself, not for messing with her head.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

I would like to advise you (and any other guy in a similar situation) of a sort rule.

Yes, it is not uncommon to find girls that are not chatty, or maybe do not like to text first. But this notion does not generally apply to a woman that is invested in knowing another man's life (hopefully one she is attracted to). So little initiation? I'll give you that. But waning conversation? That's not good.

Understand this: dialogue reciprocation is (as your gut tells you) a very accurate gauge of a girl's level of interest in you. Period.

Do NOT let her accurately predict your level of investment in the interaction. If you are a good dude and she finds you attractive, she needs to know this is not that big of a deal to you (bizarre, I know). How do you do this? Well, the often heard advice is to text less than she does. This is solid advice, and should be followed if all else fails. However, the best trick is this:

Text immediately. Text shortly there after. Text long time afterwards. Or not at all.

Mix and match the above to keep her guessing. The only function of writing less than her is to suggest a lower level of investment. However, this "trick" is so played out by many, everyone's caught on that this supposed lesser level of involvement is usually forced. Worse, your dialogue become less and less interesting as you almost programatically start auto-correcting your texts to conform to some divine rule.

So the plan is this: if you text her immediately it carries an undertone of care. Texting long time afterwards implies you are busy and she's not the focus of your life (which is attractive). Texting shortly there after--usually accompanied by a less text characters compared to her (use with care)--connote you're interested in what she has to say, but you didn't put too much (or as much) thought in the response.

And then there's nothing at all. Contrary to poplar belief, you want to pull this off not when her level of engagement seemingly wanes, but at the height of it. (And sparingly.)

Again, the trick is to not seem overeager, while keeping her engaged but also guessing. Courtship is specially exciting when it's different; not predictable.

There are a lot that disagree that texting requires this level of "strategy" or tricks. But these same people would agree, for instance, that writing "lol" in every text carries non-serious connotations. Or that WRITING LIKE THIS MEANS YELLING (even though it really isn't). Or that someone with proper use of grammatical devices is more invested (and statistically more mature). Well, it is all part of the game.

Subtext is most important when you lack body language from a live interaction.

No, it doesn't need to be done formula to get a girl to like you. This so ridiculously overcomplicates things.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Yeah, that's way overcomplicating things.

Like I said, tomorrow will be our third date. If she wasn't interested in me, she probably wouldn't have agreed to second or third date.

Second date she was already holding my hand and arm. We were close. I rubbed her leg every bar we sat at, or I would take her hand and caress her finger. She would do the same, or stroke my back.

She's the one who initiated the first kiss, then she was in my way near the passenger side door and we kissed there. We kissed again when I dropped her off at her place

She went out of her way to switch shifts for tomorrow's date.

So she seems to be interested in me, but her not texting leaves me confused. She's a very awesome, humble, down to earth woman.

I would really like to ask her, and say, "look, this is our third date, were obviously getting more intimate with each other, and it'd be great if we can text each other more when we're not together." We aren't exclusive to each other yet, but hopefully that changes tomorrow night.

I actually texted her now about me working till 11pm, followed by a joke. She'll either reply late or not reply at all.

 

[Royal_Phalanx]

Don't know why I only think of amazing, flirty things to say long after a conversation has ended.

 

[Faabulous]

So, I started working 2 months ago in a nice startup here in town, they pay well and it's kind of cozy since it's a small company. There I met this girl, she works at marketing, I work at product development. We shared an interest in cinema, so we began talking, then dating. We've gone on multiple dates and had sex a few times, so I'd say it's pretty serious. Now, should I tell my boss? This is kind of driving me nuts, is this something I need to disclose?

Yeah, that's way overcomplicating things.

Like I said, tomorrow will be our third date. If she wasn't interested in me, she probably wouldn't have agreed to second or third date.

Second date she was already holding my hand and arm. We were close. I rubbed her leg every bar we sat at, or I would take her hand and caress her finger. She would do the same, or stroke my back.

She's the one who initiated the first kiss, then she was in my way near the passenger side door and we kissed there. We kissed again when I dropped her off at her place

She went out of her way to switch shifts for tomorrow's date.

So she seems to be interested in me, but her not texting leaves me confused. She's a very awesome, humble, down to earth woman.

I would really like to ask her, and say, "look, this is our third date, were obviously getting more intimate with each other, and it'd be great if we can text each other more when we're not together." We aren't exclusive to each other yet, but hopefully that changes tomorrow night.

I actually texted her now about me working till 11pm, followed by a joke. She'll either reply late or not reply at all.

Have you considered she just doesn't enjoy texting? Might be a thing

 

[GK86]

No. In fact, don't tell anyone at work. Your relationship will be better off without co-workers knowing. Will just cause trouble down the line for you two.

 

[BlitzEngineer]

Would the denizens of DatingAge have casual sex with a girl who had bigoted views? A friend told me once that he met a really hot girl, a brunette, with amazing tits this one time, and he was really attracted to her until he found out she held similar views to Donald Trump supporters, basically (except we live in Europe and have many populist right wing parties, so I dunno if that's an appropriate label). I asked him if he would fuck her if she asked him to and he said that he would but would feel bad about it. I'm curious to see what other people think. Would you compromise your principles to get laid or would you reject a girl like that?

I don't really think it's "compromising your principles" to have sex with someone you disagree with. Boning somebody doesn't endorse their views or anything as far as I'm concerned.

I mean, it would probably be kind of a turn off, but if I still had the desire I wouldn't stop myself because I thought they had shitty views or feel bad about it. A serious relationship is of course a different story but I've for sure had FWB relationships with girls that were super conservative and even casually racist and never eally thought twice about it. Maybe it helps that being in the service industry, I have to be friendly with tons of super rich conservative idiots. I disagree with them but I think it's possible to have a friendly relationship with someone despite your politics. Casual sex is just casual sex.

 

[vern]

.

I would really like to ask her, and say, "look, this is our third date, were obviously getting more intimate with each other, and it'd be great if we can text each other more when we're not together." We aren't exclusive to each other yet, but hopefully that changes tomorrow night.

I actually texted her now about me working till 11pm, followed by a joke. She'll either reply late or not reply at all.

I still don't understand why you want her to be texting you all the time. If she likes you (as you say), and doesn't bother you with texts all the time, then it sounds like you found a great girl.

I hate getting messages all the time "hey," "what are you doing?".... A girl that lets you have your alone time is the best kind of girl.

 

[gaiages]

.

All this mind game stuff will just stress you out and, more often than not, get you the same results as before. Also, you suggest to stop texting at the height of the two of you talking? Talk about a way for interest to fizzle out fast.

Yeah, that's way overcomplicating things.

Like I said, tomorrow will be our third date. If she wasn't interested in me, she probably wouldn't have agreed to second or third date.

Second date she was already holding my hand and arm. We were close. I rubbed her leg every bar we sat at, or I would take her hand and caress her finger. She would do the same, or stroke my back.

She's the one who initiated the first kiss, then she was in my way near the passenger side door and we kissed there. We kissed again when I dropped her off at her place

She went out of her way to switch shifts for tomorrow's date.

So she seems to be interested in me, but her not texting leaves me confused. She's a very awesome, humble, down to earth woman.

I would really like to ask her, and say, "look, this is our third date, were obviously getting more intimate with each other, and it'd be great if we can text each other more when we're not together." We aren't exclusive to each other yet, but hopefully that changes tomorrow night.

I actually texted her now about me working till 11pm, followed by a joke. She'll either reply late or not reply at all.

Jason, I'm really not sure why you're worried about the texting so much. Is there a reason for it?

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

I don't know....just never experienced this with a woman.

Everything I've told you guys so far about our dates and the texting, it wouldn't bother you guys? Yeah, a lot of you guys already seem it wouldn't bother you.

I texted her a couple of hours ago, and still no response, and I know she's off, or at least I think so unless she switched shifts for our date tomorrow.

 

[Bruce Springsteen]

I don't know....just never experienced this with a woman.

Everything I've told you guys so far about our dates and the texting, it wouldn't bother you guys? Yeah, a lot of you guys already seem it wouldn't bother you.

I texted her a couple of hours ago, and still no response, and I know she's off, or at least I think so unless she switched shifts for our date tomorrow.

If there is one thing I've learned about girls is this, if they're really interested in you they will respond and want to meet you, doesn't matter how busy they are, they will make time. I know it seems like an extreme but it's kind of what I've noticed without fail and have had female friends tell me this and I see it with them when they get contacted by guys they are and aren't interested in. Gets text from cute guy, they'll respond in 20 seconds, gets text from guy they're not interested in, looks at it then moves on.

Cold world

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

If there is one thing I've learned about girls is this, if they're really interested in you they will respond and want to meet you, doesn't matter how busy they are, they will make time. I know it seems like an extreme but it's kind of what I've noticed without fail and have had female friends tell me this and I see it with them when they get contacted by guys they are and aren't interested in. Gets text from cute guy, they'll respond in 20 seconds, gets text from guy they're not interested in, looks at it then moves on.

Cold world

But that's the opposite of what our dates have been. You may want to go back my post history in this thread over the last week.

 

[ssharm02]

man i feel bad for that librarian chick, she tried approaching me several times and now she parks her car near my car. My final exam for the semester is tomorrow, should I go talk to her? I don't want her to feel sad.

i ignored her again today :/ but I have tough exam tomorrow
fuck

 

[KJRage]

GAF, I'm not sure if this girl was testing me or not. We usually joke around and she gets kind of sassy( if that's the word I'm looking for) sometimes, and we kind of go back and forth. She is puerto rican and I am half. She mentioned she couldn't see herself dating me jokingly because of our attitudes since we are both hispanic and we would clash.

I'm not sure if that's what you would consider a test or not, but I couldn't get a good read. I kind of brushed it off and told her she was missing out, but I didn't focus any more on the subject. Seems like she might not be sure if she likes me or not. No idea. Just wanted to vent a little I guess.

 

[gaiages]

man i feel bad for that librarian chick, she tried approaching me several times and now she parks her car near my car. My final exam for the semester is tomorrow, should I go talk to her? I don't want her to feel sad.

i ignored her again today :/ but I have tough exam tomorrow
fuck

Why do you have an inability to talk to someone? No offense but are you really incapable of having a normal conversation with somebody, and not just ignore them? That's incredibly rude.

I get studying for finals are important but you're really coming off as socially inept.

 

[ssharm02]

Why do you have an inability to talk to someone? No offense but are you really incapable of having a normal conversation with somebody, and not just ignore them? That's incredibly rude.

I get studying for finals are important but you're really coming off as socially inept.

no man i can totally talk to her, if I see her tomorrow after the exam, i am asking her out

fuck it. i dont want her to feel bad

 

[gaiages]

no man i can totally talk to her, if I see her tomorrow after the exam, i am asking her out

fuck it

wait wait hold on this went from like -50 to 100 real quick

1. Are you actually in a position to be able to date (as in, you're not too busy and can make time for another person)?
2. Do you actually like her?
3. Have you actually talked to her in a friendly context before?

 

[KJRage]

no man i can totally talk to her, if I see her tomorrow after the exam, i am asking her out

fuck it

Do it and let us know! What do you have to lose?

 

[ssharm02]

wait wait hold on this went from like -50 to 100 real quick

1. Are you actually in a position to be able to date (as in, you're not too busy and can make time for another person)?
2. Do you actually like her?
3. Have you actually talked to her in a friendly context before?

well like the guys said before, you can study engineer/comp science and date at the same time. Its good to have a healthy social life.

yes, I like her a lot. she is professional, loves reading and very cute.

I REALLY want to talk to her, but damn the studies + 30 hours work :/

maybe I can be friends with her

 

[gaiages]

GAF, I'm not sure if this girl was testing me or not. We usually joke around and she gets kind of sassy( if that's the word I'm looking for) sometimes, and we kind of go back and forth. She is puerto rican and I am half. She mentioned she couldn't see herself dating me jokingly because of our attitudes since we are both hispanic and we would clash.

I'm not sure if that's what you would consider a test or not, but I couldn't get a good read. I kind of brushed it off and told her she was missing out, but I didn't focus any more on the subject. Seems like she might not be sure if she likes me or not. No idea. Just wanted to vent a little I guess.

If you guys go back and forth like that, she might just be joking, I dunno. I wouldn't think much of it really... if she was "testing" you that'd be kinda lame anyway

 

[davepoobond]

well like the guys said before, you can study engineer/comp science and date at the same time. Its good to have a healthy social life.

yes, I like her a lot. she is professional, loves reading and very cute.

I REALLY want to talk to her, but damn the studies + 30 hours work :/

maybe I can be friends with her

you still havent told us how she made advances on you. saying hi and smiling at you doesnt necessarily count as "advances" in a dating situation.

 

[gaiages]

well like the guys said before, you can study engineer/comp science and date at the same time. Its good to have a healthy social life.

yes, I like her a lot. she is professional, loves reading and very cute.

I REALLY want to talk to her, but damn the studies + 30 hours work :/

maybe I can be friends with her

no no no you can ask her out. Ask her out! It just seemed like from the posts you were implying you didn't actually like her like that and just wanted to go out with her to make her happy or whatever, and not you. That's how I read it, anyway.

Do it bruh!

 

[GK86]

well like the guys said before, you can study engineer/comp science and date at the same time. Its good to have a healthy social life.

yes, I like her a lot. she is professional, loves reading and very cute.

I REALLY want to talk to her, but damn the studies + 30 hours work :/

maybe I can be friends with her

I have to ask, since in a previous post you mentioned you never (or barely ever) talk to the librarians, but how would you "like her a lot"?

Especially since it looks like you don't even say hi to her.

 

[ssharm02]

you still havent told us how she made advances on you. saying hi and smiling at you doesnt necessarily count as "advances" in a dating situation.

i will just ask her, the hints are subtle. Maybe she just wants to be friends. Whatever is on her mind, I ask her tomorrow. But she usually doesn't work on Fridays :/

 

[Etrian Oddity]

I've been an utter turd, this past two months. No cold approaches out in the wild at all, despite working out and supposedly getting a testosterone boost.

 

[ZackieChan]

But that's the opposite of what our dates have been. You may want to go back my post history in this thread over the last week.

No offense, but you sound like a 15 year old girl. Like Vern said, you've got it made. Concentrate on other things. Don't get hung up on the texting until there's a reason to.

man i feel bad for that librarian chick, she tried approaching me several times and now she parks her car near my car. My final exam for the semester is tomorrow, should I go talk to her? I don't want her to feel sad.

i ignored her again today :/ but I have tough exam tomorrow
fuck

What is your problem? I have a feeling that you are overselling her advances here to make yourself feel better. Have you ever dated anyone before?

Even if she is actually into you, why is it so difficult to just say hi and interact with her? You won't fail your test because of 5 minutes of casual conversation.

 

[ssharm02]

What is your problem? I have a feeling that you are overselling her advances here to make yourself feel better. Have you ever dated anyone before?

Even if she is actually into you, why is it so difficult to just say hi and interact with her? You won't fail your test because of 5 minutes of casual conversation.

yea you are right. i need to change. i really want to talk to her. We are both driving each other nuts imo

my main problem is that the studies is tough and i need to maintain a 4.0 gpa for co-op and work 30 hours a week to pay the billz

 

[gaiages]

Wait, you need a 4.0? Why? What's a co-op? I've never seen a situation where someone needed a 4.0 for a particular reason

 

[GK86]

yea you are right. i need to change. i really want to talk to her. We are both driving each other nuts imo

my main problem is that the studies is tough and i need to maintain a 4.0 gpa for co-op and work 30 hours a week to pay the billz

You still haven't told us why you think she is into you.

 

[ssharm02]

Wait, you need a 4.0? Why? What's a co-op? I've never seen a situation where someone needed a 4.0 for a particular reason

competition i guess, i am in a group of 10 guys who are the best in class. We all strive for 4.0, i don't think the requirements are set right now, but I want to keep my marks high.

co-op is work placement, higher the marks, more stuff u do on the side (creating programs/games) the better the co-op. you can also become a tutor and teach other students and get paid. so its all good

 

[davepoobond]

i feel like i'm reading about some alternate universe. i'm so confused.

 

[ZackieChan]

You still haven't told us why you think she is into you.

Spoiler alert: he's projecting and making excuses. The hints are "subtle" but both of then are being driven crazy by his inaction. She's now parking near him? Someone she's never even interacted with on any level?

 

[ssharm02]

Spoiler alert: he's projecting and making excuses. The hints are "subtle" but both of then are being driven crazy by his inaction. She's now parking near him? Someone she's never even interacted with on any level?

lol screw this i need to study. i will go talk to her tomorrow and find out everything (if i see her)

otherwise semester is over and i need to work for the $$$

 

[davepoobond]

Spoiler alert: he's projecting and making excuses. The hints are "subtle" but both of then are being driven crazy by his inaction. She's now parking near him? Someone she's never even interacted with on any level?

well its obvious she likes him because she scouted out what car he drives and made sure that her colleagues kept the open parking spot next to the car open until she pulled into it so that she could by chance bump into him on his way out or something. or maybe she lovingly stares into his front seat wondering what it would like to be in the passenger seat

lol screw this i need to study. i will go talk to her tomorrow and find out everything (if i see her)

otherwise semester is over and i need to work for the $$$

for whatever reason you know that she doesnt work on Fridays, yet you are leaving that as a possibility of seeing her on Friday. makes no logical sense to me, but do what you want/need to. ::shrug::

 

[GK86]

Guys, stop being so dumb. It is his library card that has her madly in love with him.

 

[ssharm02]

for whatever reason you know that she doesnt work on Fridays, yet you are leaving that as a possibility of seeing her on Friday. makes no logical sense to me, but do what you want/need to. ::shrug::

i have to finish an assignment that's due tomorrow by 11:30 pm if i see her, i will talk to her.

 

[ZackieChan]

i have to finish an assignment that's due tomorrow by 11:30 pm if i see her, i will talk to her.

Good luck. I hope she appreciates the massive undertaking that is you speaking to her.

 

[Royal_Phalanx]

I've been thinking over some things. Is the fact that girls might see you as 'sweet' an absolute negative in a dating context? I'm starting to think this is a sign that you're in the dreaded 'friendzone'.

 

[Septimius]

Good luck. I hope she appreciates the massive undertaking that is you speaking to her.

Hahahahaha

 

[Your Entertainer]

I've been thinking over some things. Is the fact that girls might see you as 'sweet' an absolute negative in a dating context? I'm starting to think this is a sign that you're in the dreaded 'friendzone'.

Um yea, stop doing that.

 

[Septimius]

I've been thinking over some things. Is the fact that girls might see you as 'sweet' an absolute negative in a dating context? I'm starting to think this is a sign that you're in the dreaded 'friendzone'.

There are no absolutes. Not even in dating.

It seems you're talking out of experience, and it seems you have the causality backwards. I'd say there's a bigger risk of you being called 'sweet' if you're in the friend zone, but you aren't in the friend zone if you're sweet. You can be the most amazing guy, whatever that means to you, and still be called. Perhaps even being the most amazing guy implies doing something that makes you sweet. It's a balance. "Sweet" is a romantically neutral word. It's like saying an action is really nice. It doesn't imply anything romantic. However, the confusion I tried to highlight is that despite it not implying something romantic, it doesn't exclude something romantic. It's the same with being called sweet.

"Sweet" and you being seen as "sweet" is not what has you feeling you keep ending up in the friend zone.

Um yea, stop doing that.

This is not a productive response. Royal_Phalanx shows a sincere wish to understand, and that's a good thing. If we're mocked for not understanding things right, we'd all keep the things we're uncertain about inside, only bringing out the things we are certain of. That would make this thread moot, since people would only proclaim things they already know. I don't know if you thought this was a witty response, but a response like that doesn't help this thread. We're here to help.

 

[gaiages]

competition i guess, i am in a group of 10 guys who are the best in class. We all strive for 4.0, i don't think the requirements are set right now, but I want to keep my marks high.

co-op is work placement, higher the marks, more stuff u do on the side (creating programs/games) the better the co-op. you can also become a tutor and teach other students and get paid. so its all good

Look I know we said you can go to school and date at the same time but....
maintaining a perfect GPA for some weird competition
+
30 hrs work
+
additional projects

sounds like you don't have enough hours in the day for anything else. So, like... say you ask this girl out, and she says yes. What do you do from there? When will you go on a date? If it goes well, what is she wants to hang out more often? How are you going to balance spending time with her with all this school shit? I mean, you're already ignoring her because you have to study realllly hard for whatever--how is that going to get better?

It's really important to have a social life and a school life, but you seem pretty determined to do nothing else but school right now. I mean, I personally wouldn't want to date someone that seems to have no free time for even themselves, let alone free time for another person.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

well like the guys said before, you can study engineer/comp science and date at the same time. Its good to have a healthy social life.

yes, I like her a lot. she is professional, loves reading and very cute.

I REALLY want to talk to her, but damn the studies + 30 hours work :/

maybe I can be friends with her

You can't really like someone "And" ignore them every chance you get :/

I've been thinking over some things. Is the fact that girls might see you as 'sweet' an absolute negative in a dating context? I'm starting to think this is a sign that you're in the dreaded 'friendzone'.

Its ambiguous. I've been called sweet by girls who have zero interest in me (sucky I know). I've been called sweet as I took a girl's shirt off (not sucky at all).

The words themselves are pretty useless if you do not present us with context. Personally speaking though, don't strive to do nice things for girls you are interested in before they reciprocate interest (do not do anything special for a girl you wouldn't do casually for any friend is my rule). If you are going to get that comment it should be through things you say and things you do for other people most specifically your friends.

You come across far more genuine when you nice deeds aren't directed towards the person you are courting.

 

[ssharm02]

Look I know we said you can go to school and date at the same time but....
maintaining a perfect GPA for some weird competition
+
30 hrs work
+
additional projects

sounds like you don't have enough hours in the day for anything else. So, like... say you ask this girl out, and she says yes. What do you do from there? When will you go on a date? If it goes well, what is she wants to hang out more often? How are you going to balance spending time with her with all this school shit? I mean, you're already ignoring her because you have to study realllly hard for whatever--how is that going to get better?

It's really important to have a social life and a school life, but you seem pretty determined to do nothing else but school right now. I mean, I personally wouldn't want to date someone that seems to have no free time for even themselves, let alone free time for another person.

i will talk to her and tell her whats going on. maybe she wants to be friends, its cool

i should really focus on the review. will update tomorrow

 

[Septimius]

i will talk to her and tell her whats going on. maybe she wants to be friends, its cool

You keep returning to reply here. People repeatedly ask you to elaborate your situation. Why not do that instead of repeating things like this?