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[JoseLopez]

I think it tells a lot about a women who thinks that rasing a child is the equivalent of wasting life.

My mom always tells me she would have killed to see me and my sisters grow up but being a single mother isn't that easy.

 

[ElfArmy177]

It's based on his current income at the time, not the maximum he's ever made. He was just in a shitty situation where he made a decent amount but it took two jobs to achieve that. Quitting the second job could be seen as trying to stick it to the wife and kids by giving them less money and lowering the quality of lifestyle for the kids. In this case, it's shitty for the guy, but in other cases without it, it could be shitty for the wife and kids. So his situation seems more like an edge case where as in general, it's in there to protect the kids. Either way, there's nothing in the Constitution that this violates.

Exactly, this is entirely the dilemma

 

[Two Words]

No. Jane sacrificed 10 years of her professional life to raise her child. If she decided or it was jointly decided that John should not have to give up his time, thats on her. She was not a unpaid babysitter ny any strech of the imagination.

The idea that it is somehow "unfair" that she is somehow disadvantaged by looking after the child she helped to conceive and willing brought to term is the same undercurrent sexism that is the problem with divorce laws.

You haven't given any actual argument to why it isn't unfair besides saying "don't care". Decisions about children are not light decisions and aren't solely on one person. As it stands, you're not allowed to exploit your wife to be a free babysitter. Sorry that exploit isn't available to you. You'll have to learn to deal with that.

 

[JoseLopez]

I got married at 23.. Too young I think

She didn't go to college or anything in that time?

Who cares if it's frown upon? Of course I know chances would be much slimmer, but I want to believe some social services actually have the better interest of kids in mind.
Being frowned upon wouldn't stop me from trying.

Social services doesn't care but adoption agencies have biases against single fathers. I personally want to adopt too but I rather wait until I get married.

 

[Condom]

In this case it's particularly shitty but you know there's a reason for that in general right?

My mother was a stay at home parent and when my dad left her she was basically fucked money wise. Very little super, a huge gap in her resume, and she is still unemployed but no one will hire her because she assumed a support role in the family and is old with not a lot of marketable skills.

That's why you need at least some form of a welfare state

 

[Gaz_RB]

OP you keep working like that your body is going to break down.

Yeah this happened to my father. Bad relationships ruin lives more than anything else, I swear to god.

 

[ThoughtsOfSpeaking]

I think it tells a lot about a women who thinks that rasing a child is the equivalent of wasting life.

Exactly. If I decide to forgo my professional career to go around the world and do charity work, I have to live with the conseqences of that decision. Oxfam doesnt owe me a living once I get dillusioned.

The problem is that people feel the world should reward them using their reproductive organs. You have a kid, thats your choice and your responsibilty.

 

[Two Words]

Exactly. If I decide to forgo my professional career to go around the world and do charity work, I have to live with the conseqences of that decision. Oxfam doesnt owe me a living once I get dillusioned.

The problem is that people feel the world should reward them using their reproductive organs. You have a kid, thats your choice and your responsibilty.

Guess what. It's also the father's responsibility.

And I didn't say raising a child is wasting life. I said it is sacrificing your professional life, which it is.

 

[Nemesis121]

Long bitter horrible story. The whole divorce has been a disaster. I told her back when I asked for the divorce ill help her get a place and helped her get a job as a nurse technician again. She became incredibly bitter after 5 months into it and it became a circus. To answer how it started she punched me in the face during an argument which wasn't the first time and said if I don't like it, divorce her... So I did and now she's out for blood.

Intially I asked for shared parenting and I was still going to give her 1100 a month and she wanted more. When she said no she wanted full custody I fought for it like hell and lost because she was a stay home mom. Now since I fought she's even more furious and told me she hopes I kill myself. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone

You fucked yourself by not reporting the abuse, if you bring this up she will say you hit her first, and most judges believe the woman, the very first time it happen should have called the cops and filed charges, most men think makes them less of a man for reporting abuse against them, but had that been you hitting her she call the caps on your quickly..

 

[Marty Chinn]

I think it tells a lot about a women who thinks that rasing a child is the equivalent of wasting life.

Sacrificing your career doesn't mean you're wasting your life. Nobody said that. However, marriage is a partnership so the husband isn't entitled to get off without any responsibility in the partnership. If it's decided upon that the wife is going to stay at home to raise the child, then the agreement is the husband or partner is supporting that part of the arrangement. Having that agreement and then bailing gives too much power to one side of you say the person has no obligation.

 

[Iorv3th]

Long bitter horrible story. The whole divorce has been a disaster. I told her back when I asked for the divorce ill help her get a place and helped her get a job as a nurse technician again. She became incredibly bitter after 5 months into it and it became a circus. To answer how it started she punched me in the face during an argument which wasn't the first time and said if I don't like it, divorce her... So I did and now she's out for blood.

Intially I asked for shared parenting and I was still going to give her 1100 a month and she wanted more. When she said no she wanted full custody I fought for it like hell and lost because she was a stay home mom. Now since I fought she's even more furious and told me she hopes I kill myself. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone

Is it possible for you to get a psych evaluation of some sort on her? I don't know if that may help your case, but if she has shown violence towards you in the past...

 

[Marty Chinn]

Is it possible for you to get a psych evaluation of some sort on her? I don't know if that may help your case, but if she has shown violence towards you in the past...

It's probably not possible. He can't force her so the only way is to have a court order. A judge can't issue a court order without any reason to do so. Since he didn't report anything, there's no reason for a judge to even entertain the thought. If he tries, the judge will likely see it as vengeful or the husband trying to play games with bothering her since there's nothing to back it up.

 

[besada]

OP, sorry to hear your divorce is going so poorly. If you can afford it, get a consultation with another lawyer and see if they think they can do better. At this point, I suspect the answer is no. The right time to quit the second job would have been early on in the process, before it got to court. If you quit it or intentionally get fired at this point, the judge is likely to be displeased, and as you're discovering Family Law judges have immense power in the U.S. Courts. Once divorces get out of mediation and into the courts, they almost always go poorly and cost both sides more money. As other folks have said, it's time to sell the house, if you can and it's not involved in the divorce (which would be unusual).

Also, please tell me your wife doesn't know about this account. It's standard practice in family law offices now to do exhaustive internet searches, complile the data, and use it against each other in court. If she knows this account exists, and might be checking it, consider if anything you said might cause you difficulties in court. If the answer is yes, let me know and I'll make it go away.

I mention this because my friend who is -- ironically -- a divorce lawyer, recently went through a horrific divorce that lasted five years and cost him more than $120k. And one of the salient features of that divorce involved her using his depressed facebook posts to question his sanity and ability as a father, and it worked pretty well. It cost him any chance he had at primary custody. I understand that you need support in this difficult time, but you don't want to be talking about suicide on any account that she can find. It can and will be used to paint you as an unstable person who can't be trusted with children, and you could wind up with supervised visitation only.

I am not a lawyer, so take any advice with a grain of salt, but I did work as a paralegal in a family law office for a few years. I,ve seen and helped process a bunch of divorces. As general advice to other readers, mediate that divorce, and give up whatever you have to to stay out of court. Going to court is unlikely to produce a better result for you, and it's going to cost both parties a small fortune. We had a mediation break down over a set of $40 christmas lights once. Ten grand later, and she not only got the christmas lights but his boat, too.

 

[ThoughtsOfSpeaking]

You haven't given any actual argument to why it isn't unfair besides saying "don't care". Decisions about children are not light decisions and aren't solely on one person. As it stands, you're not allowed to exploit your wife to be a free babysitter. Sorry that exploit isn't available to you. You'll have to learn to deal with that.

she is not a free babysitter. She is looking after her own kid/s. If she has made the decision to have a child, she should not be rewarded just because the relationship has broken down.

If the time of the childs birth the decision was made for the father to continue to work then so be it. Ideally the responsibilty to raise the children should be shared, but if she went along with that so be it.

Nobody is entitled to money they havent helped earn. Sorry but thats my stance on things.

No point in bringing my own situation into it, because I wouldnt be having children in the first place.

Guess what. It's also the father's responsibility.

And I didn't say raising a child is wasting life. I said it is sacrificing your professional life, which it is.

The child is the fathers responsibilty, not whatever sacrifices the mother decided to make to have the child. That, in my view is her problem.

If a man gave up a well paying job and moved across the country to be with a woman he loved, she would not be expected to reinburse him once the relationship ended. Its really no different.

 

[ThoughtsOfSpeaking]

dp

 

[Nipo]

Exactly. If I decide to forgo my professional career to go around the world and do charity work, I have to live with the conseqences of that decision. Oxfam doesnt owe me a living once I get dillusioned.

The problem is that people feel the world should reward them using their reproductive organs. You have a kid, thats your choice and your responsibilty.

The wife was providing 24 hour child care which is ridiculously expensive to outsource. Daycare in my state is about $2000 a month and if one parent stays home you avoid that and countless other expenses.

 

[Two Words]

she is not a free babysitter. She is looking after her own kid/s. If she has made the decision to have a child, she should not be rewarded just because the relationship has broken down.

If the time of the childs birth the decision was made for the father to continue to work then so be it. Ideally the responsibilty to raise the children should be shared, but if she went along with that so be it.

Nobody is entitled to money they havent helped earn. Sorry but thats my stance on things.

No point in bringing my own situation into it, because I wouldnt be having children in the first place.

Choosing to take care of the child is helping the father focus on his career to earn that money. Thankfully, no state government agrees with your backwards thinking.

 

[Ayt]

I will never understand the concept of paying an ex spouse anything he/she did not help earn. I dont even care about the idea that the mother of your children cannot be left helpless.

No, she is a grown ass woman, she should sort her own shit.

Only payments you should have to pay is towards your children and every month you should get a itemised breakdown of exactly where your money went towards your childs upkeep.

The whole concept is ridiciolus and I wont ever get married because of it.

People like you who do get married are why these laws exist.

 

[ThoughtsOfSpeaking]

The wife was providing 24 hour child care which is ridiculously expensive to outsource. Daycare in my state is about $1500 a month and if one parent stays home you avoid that and countless other expenses.

Thats the choice you make when you have children. If its something both parties cannot afford, dont do it.

You are not entitled to help just because you have a child.

 

[Weevilone]

OP you made a statement earlier about making her car payment or something along those lines, because she wouldn't have a car otherwise.

Are you paying for that outside of what you're paying her for maintenance and child support? I've known people who did this for credit rating preservation purposes and it really was the nail in the coffin.

 

[Nipo]

If a man gave up a well paying job and moved across the country to be with a woman he loved, she would not be expected to reinburse him once the relationship ended. Its really no different.

Actually you are. A friend of mine gave up his job to move across country for his wife's work. No kids involved but he gets alimony since he scarified his career for his partner's.

 

[ThoughtsOfSpeaking]

Choosing to take care of the child is helping the father focus on his career to earn that money. Thankfully, no state government agrees with your backwards thinking.

Hense this thread huh?

Nice to know that people think taking care of the child you brought into this world is a choice and not an obligation.

 

[Vincent Alexander]

Exactly, this is entirely the dilemma

I'm sorry if this has been talked to death already....But I'm with someone who collects child support. The guy has gone back-and-forth in his life all the way from 0 job to 2 jobs. Every time he changes, the child support itself has been adjusted. I find it really hard to believe that you couldn't drop your second job without large consequences. I think your lawyer isn't being clear when he states your child support will be based off your max...what he means is that it could be. Her lawyer would have to convince a judge. And hopefully you don't have a crappy lawyer, because it would be his job to argue otherwise.

 

[ThoughtsOfSpeaking]

Actually you are. A friend of mine gave up his job to move across country for his wife's work. No kids involved but he gets alimony since he scarified his career for his partner's.

Well, as far as im concerned, that is equally absurd.

He made that choice, he should live with the consquences if it didnt work out.

 

[Two Words]

Thats the choice you make when you have children. If its something both parties cannot afford, dont do it.

You are not entitled to help just because you have a child.

Yeah, this guy is fixated on making sure he doesn't get it. In his mind, women who dedicate to raising the children should simply accept they're sacrificing their professional life with no safety net. Let's all just be happy that state governments have more sense than this.

 

[AzureRonin]

Thats the choice you make when you have children. If its something both parties cannot afford, dont do it.

You are not entitled to help just because you have a child.

you're arguing against yourself. In your estimation both parties make a choice, so both must live with the consequences. So by your very own reasoning you are in fact entitled to help by virtue of both parties being responsible for said consequence.

 

[SkeptiMism]

Can we stop speaking about whether or not alimony is right?

We have a guy in a a real tough situation here along with suicidal thoughts. Alimony really isn't the topic here.

 

[Vincent Alexander]

Can we stop speaking about whether or not alimony is right?

We have a guy in a a real tough situation here along with suicidal thoughts. Alimony really isn't the topic here.

This times a thousand

 

[ThoughtsOfSpeaking]

Yeah, this guy is fixated on making sure he doesn't get it. In his mind, women who dedicate to raising the children should simply accept they're sacrificing their professional life with no safety net. Let's all just be happy that state governments have more sense than this.

No. this guy thinks you should not be having children if you dont have a personal safety net.

Lets not make this seem like in biased against women. I have exactly the same view when it comes to men.

Nobody, no matter the gender, is entitled to their partners wages once the relationship breaks down, unless its from joint investment or business. That is my position. Please dont try and twist it into something else as a appeal to emotion.

 

[jb1234]

This thread is horrifying. I'm really, truly sorry OP and I hope you can find a way out of this situation.

 

[Two Words]

No. this guy thinks you should not be having children if you dont have a personal safety net.

Lets not make this seem like in biased against women. I have exactly the same view when it comes to men.

Nobody, no matter the gender, is entitled to their partners wages once the relationship breaks down, unless its from joint investment or business. That is my position. Please dont try and twist it into something else as a appeal to emotion.

You're wasting your time. Nothing about your view is unique or sensible. There's no point in arguing it if you are trying to get anybody to agree with you.

 

[psynergylover]

Damn OP, after reading through the thread it seems she played you like a damn fiddle, I can only hope your new love interest stays with you.

I never been married or had a relationship close to were marriage was on the table, but from my experience with members of my family is ALWAYS do the "mom test" or even better imo the "sister test" always saved me from an unnecessary drama

But when marriage is on the table my cousins bring them to our grandmother; she can spot a faker real quick it almost scary, I'm hoping she's alive when I hopefully enter a serious relationship

 

[AzureRonin]

No. this guy thinks you should not be having children if you dont have a personal safety net.

Lets not make this seem like in biased against women. I have exactly the same view when it comes to men.

Nobody, no matter the gender, is entitled to their partners wages once the relationship breaks down, unless its from joint investment or business. That is my position. Please dont try and twist it into something else as a appeal to emotion.

your position is wrong because you ignore your own reasoning in getting to that position as I've already described.

 

[...Scatter...]

You're wasting your time. Nothing about your view is unique or sensible. There's no point in arguing it if you are trying to get anybody to agree with you.

Are you a married man?

 

[andrerobot]

Well, as far as im concerned, that is equally absurd.

He made that choice, he should live with the consquences if it didnt work out.

They both made it. Married couples make life decisions together.

 

[How About No]

Oh my god I am fuming inside. What a horrible, horrible excuse for a human being.

I'd almost rather go to jail than put up with that bullshit

 

[Crazyorloco]

Now she wants child support and maintience based off of both jobs even though the weekend position is PRN which means my hours are never promised... With child support being roughly 1500 a month and maintience being 700 a month for 3 years.. It leaves me with 800 dollars a month to live off unless I get my hours at my other job.

However I get my kids on the weekends and I don't even get to see them... I have no time with my children because I'm at work and she says "not her problem"... She makes 30k a year and I make 55k wihout my second job but the second job prevents me from spending any time with my chilren...

I don't know what to do.. I'm completely at a loss and depressed to the point of just saying forget it and end it. What's it matter if I don't even get to see my children? I'll be in poverty giving her over 75% of my income if I don't get hours at the other place which recently hasn't been able to give them to me... The lawyers say I can't quit, my ex wife said " good, god damn right you're going to give me all that money"..

Talk to someone in person. Have support that you can talk about this with. I just recently had a similar situation. I supported my gf for two years she never worked. I had two jobs just so we could live. When we broke up I lost my apartment because my name wasnt on the lease...and she moved to another state with my daughter (She left for another guy). She said she was on vacation and would be back. She never came back. I was actually living in my car for about 3 months to save money. Took showers in gyms. I saved money and I moved to new york as soon as i could and filed for joint custody as soon as i could too. I recommened you do this. my ex is on public assistance, food stamps, and gets a bunch of other help. The only difference here is i wasnt married. I know why men are so afraid of marriage now. People can be so cruel. Like yourself I thought of suicide, but i had a good support system guiding me for two years. Think of your kids. They need you. Thinking of my daughter kept me going.

Right now i decided to stop working two jobs so i could spent time with my daughter every weekend. I barely have money for myself, but im happier than I was a few years ago. It gets better.

If you wanna chat, PM me.

 

[ElfArmy177]

You guys have been awesome. I'm reading the posts to gather my thoughts and ill contact back after I've gone through these

 

[Nephtis]

I am not sure if this has been discussed already but is filing for bankruptcy an option for OP?

I'd also look into this:

Maintenance (alimony) calculator

FORMULA FOR MAINTENANCE AWARD:
AMOUNT– (30% of the payer’s income) – (20% of the receiver’s income)
*The receiver’s new income cannot exceed 40% of the parties’ combined incomeFORMULA FOR MAINTENANCE AWARD: AMOUNT– (30% of the payer’s income) – (20% of the receiver’s income)
*The receiver’s new income cannot exceed 40% of the parties’ combined income

 

[Linkstrikesback]

You haven't given any actual argument to why it isn't unfair besides saying "don't care". Decisions about children are not light decisions and aren't solely on one person. As it stands, you're not allowed to exploit your wife to be a free babysitter. Sorry that exploit isn't available to you. You'll have to learn to deal with that.

Pretty sure that 'free' is a gross understatement if nothing else. If they each agreed to the plans, as was the proposed plan in that scenario, then it also wasn't exploitation.

 

[Deleted member 1159]

No. this guy thinks you should not be having children if you dont have a personal safety net.

Lets not make this seem like in biased against women. I have exactly the same view when it comes to men.

Nobody, no matter the gender, is entitled to their partners wages once the relationship breaks down, unless its from joint investment or business. That is my position. Please dont try and twist it into something else as a appeal to emotion.

That's not how marriage works. If you don't like marriage, fine, but the arrangement is there precisely to act as disincentive of stringing a partner along for years while you develop your career path and then kicking them to the curb. Maybe you think they deserve what they get, but the whole point of marriage as an institution is to help prevent shit like that.

If you never get married that's one thing. But marriage as an institution is there for specific reasons.

 

[Schwowsers]

I called my lawyer practically in tears and he said "Judges frown upon dad's quitting jobs to get out of financial responsibility, its very likely they will make you responsible for thst extra income so the children live the same life they've been used to."

You are quitting the weekend job to spend that time with your children, not to lower your child support payments. Stress the point that it is only to have off during the time you have your children, and that the lower income is merely a consequence of that. Besides, even if you lost the 20k income of the second job, your ex is now working a 30k job, which should more than make up for it.

Don't give up, ElfArmy177, even if only to spite that demon of an ex. If all else fails, keeping a cool appearance is the best way to send her a "fuck you."

 

[Crazyorloco]

I am not sure if this has been discussed already but is filing for bankruptcy an option for OP?

I'd also look into this:

Maintenance (alimony) calculator

I think he could do this. Also i think your child support could be lowered. In new york its 17 percent and the judge lowered mine because i would be barely able to live if it where to take the whole 17 percent. The judge looked at my expenses and the cost of driving. I drive every weekend (400 miles a weekend) for my daughter.

 

[hey_monkey]

I never thought of that... I always assumed she was telling the truth about them.

Also, and I haven't read past here so maybe someone already raised this point, but calling your ex a whore and disclosing her sexual history on the Internet, in a location not entirely secure, is probably a bad idea. Not least because it's pretty low in its own right, but because you should have maybe learned from the recorded conversation, yeah? I get that this is tough and you're hurting and you feel like there are no solutions, and you can't fix the past, but you can choose not to make future mistakes.

 

[Crazyorloco]

Yeah OP be very careful about what you say. And dont lose your cool when talking to your ex or anyone else. You will get through this.

 

[demon]

You are quitting the weekend job to spend that time with your children, not to lower your child support payments. Stress the point that it is only to have off during the time you have your children, and that the lower income is merely a consequence of that. Besides, even if you lost the 20k income of the second job, your ex is now working a 30k job, which should more than make up for it.

Don't give up, ElfArmy177, even if only to spite that demon of an ex. If all else fails, keeping a cool appearance of is the best way to send her a "fuck you."

Yeah, wow. This judge is almost as much a piece of shit as his cunt of an ex-wife. How dare he quit a second job to spend some time with his children and regain a little sanity. What a truly fucked up system. I realize the OP made some huge mistakes in marrying this sadistic psychopath but he shouldn't be punished by the judge for them.

Quite frankly she sounds like a dangerous person and should be spending time in jail (for the domestic abuse at least), not raising children. I feel sorry for the kids. Being raised by her will be some serious trauma.

 

[ThoughtsOfSpeaking]

your position is wrong because you ignore your own reasoning in getting to that position as I've already described.

I dont see how as Ive never said the father does not have a responsibilty to his child. Just not to his ex.

But as asked for earlier, Ill leave it as that.

 

[Agent Icebeezy]

OP, sorry to hear your divorce is going so poorly. If you can afford it, get a consultation with another lawyer and see if they think they can do better. At this point, I suspect the answer is no. The right time to quit the second job would have been early on in the process, before it got to court. If you quit it or intentionally get fired at this point, the judge is likely to be displeased, and as you're discovering Family Law judges have immense power in the U.S. Courts. Once divorces get out of mediation and into the courts, they almost always go poorly and cost both sides more money. As other folks have said, it's time to sell the house, if you can and it's not involved in the divorce (which would be unusual).

Also, please tell me your wife doesn't know about this account. It's standard practice in family law offices now to do exhaustive internet searches, complile the data, and use it against each other in court. If she knows this account exists, and might be checking it, consider if anything you said might cause you difficulties in court. If the answer is yes, let me know and I'll make it go away.

I mention this because my friend who is -- ironically -- a divorce lawyer, recently went through a horrific divorce that lasted five years and cost him more than $120k. And one of the salient features of that divorce involved her using his depressed facebook posts to question his sanity and ability as a father, and it worked pretty well. It cost him any chance he had at primary custody. I understand that you need support in this difficult time, but you don't want to be talking about suicide on any account that she can find. It can and will be used to paint you as an unstable person who can't be trusted with children, and you could wind up with supervised visitation only.

I am not a lawyer, so take any advice with a grain of salt, but I did work as a paralegal in a family law office for a few years. I,ve seen and helped process a bunch of divorces. As general advice to other readers, mediate that divorce, and give up whatever you have to to stay out of court. Going to court is unlikely to produce a better result for you, and it's going to cost both parties a small fortune. We had a mediation break down over a set of $40 christmas lights once. Ten grand later, and she not only got the christmas lights but his boat, too.

Back, beautiful advice given.

Facebook info and social media in general is powerful in court. I have phone conversations recorded and text messages that are saved and sent to my email. Facebook posts about getting drunk while kids are at homes, needing to find herself, etc. Her boyfriend, her unemployed weed smoking boyfriend that 'spends the night' every night who she chooses to bring into their lives. His Facebook book weed pics are noted too. I have a nice video with my youngest daughter, asking her bland questions, in no way introducing bias or leading questions, about her life with her mom. Google hangouts conversations with kids. I have her driving record as well. To prepare for the impending change in child support, I went to the recorder of her county to find out who owns the house she lives in because the parents bought it outright for her. Basically, it's an expense she doesn't have to pay because someone else did it. I'm going to stop here as there is much more. Once this case is done, I'll revisit this and display every thing in full because a lot of it is very sensitive to the nature of the case and deserves privacy till then.

That said, if you want custody, simply saying she cheated doesn't matter and the courts typically default to the woman. You better get everything and I do mean everything on her if you ever want a shot at the kids. Sucks like hell but it's what you have to do.

I'm personally not getting a lawyer because honestly, my argument could be made very easily because of how negligent and careless my ex was and how forthcoming my kids are, in concert with other thing. You can not lie your way out of things that I tangibly prove. So, I don't need to pay someone to state the obvious. So, for my evidence, I've already chronicled everything with a recording of myself narrating Facebook posts and other things with the links to them so if she tries to argue that I photoshopped something, I have both screen shots and video of your stuff. I did all the work and I can verbally communicate myself, minus the legalese but at some point, common sense has to enter the equation and you'd be forced to ask, do I want my kids growing up like this, so ultimately, why pay?

I go to court in a little under two months.

 

[malfcn]

I hear radio commercials for a male rep firm, Cordell & Cordell all the time. They say they specialize in cases like these.

 

[Schryver]

Pardon my ignorance but when two people get divorced does it matter who initiates the divorce (in terms of who has to pay up)? I'm sure that the details and reasons are taken into account and the lawyers make a difference, but my assumption was always that if your wife decides to divorce you then she basically screws herself out of getting your money (I'm crazy aren't I?)