Jason's Ultimatum
Member
hope it works out. I guess only time will tell. Don't become me and overthink and check your phone every few minutes.
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
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He seemed to have a good attitude, and before this told me I worry too much, which I agreed, and mentioned I'm finding better ways to destress. Just feels a bit bad because I feel things probably would have continued on fine up until this point and there's nothing I can do about it now besides wait to see if he contacts me again. He has been great but I can only expect someone to be so understanding when things are just starting out.
Not living in the dorms can be a killer for your social life. I'd try to be more active doing campus activities in general.
Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
They're not all crazy. Just don't date the weaboos or brony's.
User 479360
Banned
She sent me a text tonight, asking if we can do something next week, when she's home from her trip. I said sure, with a smiley face.
Deserted Maniac Island
Member
I know it kinda sucks, I wanted to live in the dorms ... but its too expensive. I'm trying to join a few clubs, and maybe do a sport for fun. So I hope it will make up for me not living in the dorms.
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
I have to go look, but it sounds to me you are still really hung up on her. You are trying to emulate what you did with this Emily girl, and you are losing the fact that this other girl isn't Emily. You are saying it was going "perfectly" but it obviously wasn't if it failed within a month. Maybe what you thought was good, actually wasn't.
You can't just emulate what you did with one successful relationship and expect it to work for all relationships going forward.
I'm glad you know you were too clingy with Emily, but everything I'm seeing you type makes me feel you are doing the same thing with this new girl.
And I'm not bashing you at all. I can get infatuated quite easily myself. So I know exactly what you are going through. You wonder about what they are doing without you, if it lasts too long, you start thinking they stopped liking you already. But you have to put those thoughts to the back, calm down, and just let the other person make some moves on her own. Otherwise you start getting clingy like I feel you are doing now.
My 2 cents, man. I wish you luck, but I think you should seriously think about what I'm saying. Don't use Emily as a jumping off point because that was a failed relationship, anyways. What you felt you two had obviously wasn't what it was.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Well, this new girl said her favorite food is sushi. She also said she likes it when a man surprises her. I can't help it if I'm not going to use those to my advantage. If she said her favorite food was Indian I would've taken her to an Indian restaurant. This new girl was legit excited when I told her I have a surprise for her.
And I'm doing better at getting over Emily. This new girl said she hates guys that are too clingy, so I made sure I didn't scoot my bar stool too close to her.
Also, I'm not sending any stupid text messages or showing any signs of clinginess.
So there are some areas I'm getting better at.
And I'm doing better at getting over Emily. This new girl said she hates guys that are too clingy, so I made sure I didn't scoot my bar stool too close to her.
Also, I'm not sending any stupid text messages or showing any signs of clinginess.
So there are some areas I'm getting better at.
Just ask her. It's possible that she just likes her space.
ZackieChan
Member
Why the hell not? It rules.
@Jason's Ultimatum - does she like her sushi cooked? Hue hue hue
No numbers ATM. Just spoke about programming stuff. She is super cute, there some good looking girls here.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
I remember that..... I tried not to. :-/
for real though. this girl I'm seeing and having sex with regularly just told me she wants to come over and not just have sex. I understand where she's coming from, which sucks.
I honestly just want sexual companionship without having to sacrifice any of the goodness I have with being single.
That said, IDK why I'm dating.
I honestly just want sexual companionship without having to sacrifice any of the goodness I have with being single.
That said, IDK why I'm dating.
User 479360
Banned
I didn't really feel like going out tonight anyways, so it kind of worked out. I woke up at 5pm (sleeping schedule is outta whack), didn't feel like getting up and checked my texts to see that she had texted me.
I was going to go, regardless, but it kind of worked out there. I was exhausted, and in homebody mode. I also worried that my hair/beard may be too overgrown, but I think that was just my lack of self-confidence showing.
I was going to go, regardless, but it kind of worked out there. I was exhausted, and in homebody mode. I also worried that my hair/beard may be too overgrown, but I think that was just my lack of self-confidence showing.
Yes, while we haven't spoken before, don't know who the other is, don't know where each other live, etc. etc., the fact that we have a single similar circumstance means we are now destined to be.
It's like going up to two strangers in Starbucks who aren't there with each other, proclaiming "hey you're both wearing red today! You should date!" and walking away
To be fair most people don't know those things before they start assessing whether or not to date either.Yes, while we haven't spoken before, don't know who the other is, don't know where each other live, etc. etc., the fact that we have a single similar circumstance means we are now destined to be.
There's a slight difference between wearing the same colour and looking for the same thing in a relationship but I get the point.It's like going up to two strangers in Starbucks who aren't there with each other, proclaiming "hey you're both wearing red today! You should date!" and walking away
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.
User 479360
Banned
I thought it was a lock and a key?
User 479360
Banned
In my limited experience, the lower lip has been preferable for sure.
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
I never said you are destined to be. I just said what's so bad in trying? It doesn't hurt either of you two to talk about the way you feel about your ideas on dating/current situation of being incompatible with most others and get to know each other a little more.Yes, while we haven't spoken before, don't know who the other is, don't know where each other live, etc. etc., the fact that we have a single similar circumstance means we are now destined to be.
It's like going up to two strangers in Starbucks who aren't there with each other, proclaiming "hey you're both wearing red today! You should date!" and walking away
I would also, hazard a guess, that you'd be happier talking to someone that at least shares these same ideas instead of accepting bitter loneliness.
I think most gaffers with problems on dating here have the same basic problem. You put too much into an encounter. I used to do it, too. You think, ok, is this person going to be with me the rest of my life?
That's a bad way of doing it. Treat a date like you treat going out to eat with friends. You are going to enjoy yourself. When you meet up with friends or meet a new friend, you don't say to yourself "oh, is this person good enough to be my best friend?" Why would you do that? That would be crazy. It's also crazy to do that with a date/possible love interest.
Edit: to the 2nd comment, like i said, i didnt say you have to go out, i said just chat. So to use an analogy it's more like seeing a person in Starbucks that's reading the exact same book you are and starting a conversation with your relative interests as a base.
Dude, be honest with her. She wants more, you don't. Or that's what it looks like. That is a problem. Don't be an asshole and let her know how you feel. You might lose your "fuck buddy" but at least you'll save her the pain and effort.
Yes, while we haven't spoken before, don't know who the other is, don't know where each other live, etc. etc., the fact that we have a single similar circumstance means we are now destined to be.
It's like going up to two strangers in Starbucks who aren't there with each other, proclaiming "hey you're both wearing red today! You should date!" and walking away
to be fair it's more like "Hey, you're both wearing the same shirt that has a scene of a very particular movie that came out 30 years ago that was only distributed to a select few theaters!"
anyways, you don't actually need to defend yourself. It's easy for people to sit on the side and tell you what's good for you. It can be even easier not to listen to them. Do you.
Ugh,no. NO!
You've known her 10 days and asked her to go on a weekend trip (bad enough) on Valentine's Day (awful). It's not strange that she didn't want to stay all weekend. You are pushing things way too fast.
Women can have casual sex too, that seems to be what she wants. If you ask her to be your girlfriend (after 10 days!!!) you probably won't hear from her again because you're going to come off as incredibly needy/clingy.
Just enjoy the sex. If you two are going to be a couple, let it happen naturally instead of awkwardly forcing it way too soon.
Dorms aren't the be all end all of college social life. In my experience, it was nice initially but got real old real quick, especially once you are not a freshman.
It's like going up to two strangers in Starbucks who aren't there with each other, proclaiming "hey you're both wearing red today! You should date!" and walking away
In my opinion, you are deflecting. Imo, people are just saying you and Mike have similar views/thoughts on relationships and maybe it's something worth opening up a private dialogue over!
Nah man, I get it. I lived off when I transferred schools because cheaper+ more flexibility. I didn't do what you're doing though with the clubs and such and I highly regret it now in my second to last semester.
It's hard making friends y'all. Not even talking about dating.
User 479360
Banned
I'm still talking to the other two girls on OKC, because nothing is set in stone and I'm still not sure if there's a romantic connection between the other girl and I. I hope that something good will come out of this, though, after all of my bad luck.
Also, trust me when I say that, although I'm new to this, I know the rights and wrongs and will not cheat. I couldn't live with myself if I did.
There are things I like about them all, but I'll likely never end up meeting the one because she lives 45 minutes to an hour away and I don't know if she has a car.
Also, trust me when I say that, although I'm new to this, I know the rights and wrongs and will not cheat. I couldn't live with myself if I did.
There are things I like about them all, but I'll likely never end up meeting the one because she lives 45 minutes to an hour away and I don't know if she has a car.
Banjo-Kazooie
Member
Okay ya, I agree. I just feel really awkward being pushy, mainly because I know how I feel when girls send me messages after I've stopped responding to them for days (after I've kinda hinted at not wanting to pursue talking to them).
Maybe I'll throw another short message at her tomorrow and see if she still wants to grab a drink this weekend as I don't currently have plans. Like you said, nothing really to lose, only gain.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
I didn't live on campus in my final year of university. Instead I rented a room by myself because I had nobody to live with that year. Killed my social life entirely. My classmate did live on campus that year, met a lot of 1st year students and had a ton of fun. I let social anxiety get the better of me, and I regret it massively now. It's so hard to meet young people now
I get this, I feel this way often. I am only about 5 months out of a 6 year long relationship. Not only is it nice not being tied down, but for me I don't think I need to be seriously dating anyone just because there is so much to process once a long term relationship ends. I don't want a girlfriend just to replace the one I lost, that would be unfair to the girl. The problem is that seeing and dating different women is also fun, and I want to get out and experience that a lot. I thinks its healthy, but you have to keep it balanced and know that you are gonna date people who are looking for more.
About two months after my ex and I broke up I was starting to get involved with this one girl, and about 3 weeks in of hanging out way to much and doing shit like holding hands my mind flipped. All of the sudden I was completely not into her. I took that as a sign that I just was not ready for something like that. Also that girl was weird.
I also feel weird because I am still really close with my ex. We don't hangout much, but we still text each other in a friendly way quite often. Not really sure what that means.
User 479360
Banned
Although I'd like sex, my reason for dating is more about companionship. I want someone who's there for me and who cares about me like I'm the most important person around, and I want to feel the same way/treat them like that too.
I've never had that.
I also really like to cuddle, so there's that. Sex is just a bonus from time to time.
Speaking of sex, is it bad practice to grab a handful of condoms from the local clinic whenever you're there? They're there for free, but it feels grubby. I had a couple of appointments and grabbed some, but I'm tempted to stop in when I'm nearby to get a few more. I'm still learning how to properly use the damned things (ie. which side when opening the package.)
Don't laugh, please.
EDIT: And, as for the on campus thing: For what it matters, I got zero sex during college (in fact, I had an eleven year dry streak broken last May...twice, that's it). I didn't live on campus, but did have friends I hung out with outside of school. Women just normally don't seem to find me to be more than their quiet, nerdy friend.
I've never had that.
I also really like to cuddle, so there's that. Sex is just a bonus from time to time.
Speaking of sex, is it bad practice to grab a handful of condoms from the local clinic whenever you're there? They're there for free, but it feels grubby. I had a couple of appointments and grabbed some, but I'm tempted to stop in when I'm nearby to get a few more. I'm still learning how to properly use the damned things (ie. which side when opening the package.)
Don't laugh, please.
EDIT: And, as for the on campus thing: For what it matters, I got zero sex during college (in fact, I had an eleven year dry streak broken last May...twice, that's it). I didn't live on campus, but did have friends I hung out with outside of school. Women just normally don't seem to find me to be more than their quiet, nerdy friend.
That's called a girlfriend. Most people date to get one.
Maybe just grab what you need? If you've only had sex twice in 11 years you probably shouldn't be grabbing handfuls every time you are at the clinic. Also probably shouldn't be at the clinic so often if you've only had sex twice in 11 years but what do i know?
User 479360
Banned
I had to go to the clinic three times for different tests, because the girl that broke the 11 year cold streak lied to me about having an STI. Thankfully, I was clean. I grabbed some then, but only have a couple now.
True
I'm just saying that I almost prefer that to sex. That and cuddling.
True
I'm just saying that I almost prefer that to sex. That and cuddling.
The condoms clinics give out free tend to be cheap (Lifestyles). I had a couple of scares in college using them and bought my own after that.
You shouldn't really be grabbing "handfuls" just to practice. Most guys fumble with rubbers a bit, they're just generally a pain in the ass. If you're trying to be perfect with them it's going to set up a mental block where you're destined to fail.
Like every other post you make, you need to relax and not overanalyze every little thing like which side of the condom wrapper is the "right" one.
User 479360
Banned
I probably grabbed about ten to twelve in total. Was thinking about grabbing several more to have on hand because I don't know if I'll have sex anytime in the near future and don't want to waste money if I don't. They're there for a reason.
They have bowls of Trustex condoms out everywhere.
My issue is knowing which side is which.
I didn't live on campus in my final year of university. Instead I rented a room by myself because I had nobody to live with that year. Killed my social life entirely. My classmate did live on campus that year, met a lot of 1st year students and had a ton of fun. I let social anxiety get the better of me, and I regret it massively now. It's so hard to meet young people now
Indeed it is. At my school if you live off and you aren't involved in Greek Life the social scene basically doesn't exist.
I wouldn't trade the freedom I have living off (including my own bathroom, being able to drink, and being able to have a dog) for anything, but I do wonder and have that twinge of regret sometimes. I know there's nothing I can do about it now but sometimes you can't help yourself. Especially when I hear the stories from acquaintances who do live on campus.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Yeah, in my experience once the cliques form you're fucked socially because you'll only ever be an acquaintance to people. I sometimes partied with my classmate who lived on campus (he partied a LOT, literally twice a week and did very well academically to boot), and got along well with him and his friends from his dorm who were all new students (whilst we both were final years) but was forgotten about quickly unless I kept asking to tag along (which I only did sparingly because I didn't want to seem needy). I was envious of his stories about bar hopping, house parties and a lot of casual sex with a girl he met at the start of term through all his new friends.
EDIT: I live in Europe, we can drink at 18, if anyone was wondering how first years can go drinking.
Put it on, if it doesn't roll down easily, you have put it on wrong side up. Ta da.
Also you will see the reservoir tip.
It's not something you need to do a dozen plus times. You're psyching yourself out.
Would have killed for this my freshman year and not having to go the fake ID route.
Shit sucks mate. We can be united in the misery of not getting all we wanted out of our college years.
ZackieChan
Member
Maybe it's all the porn?
Perhaps. I hope not though. I'm still holding fast to wacking it once every two weeks (Sunday night after getting my paycheck deposited).
I'm similar except it's unless I like her a lot, or is that what you meant? I'm not really one for casual sex. Not that I'd turn down someone who is very physically attractive.
User 479360
Banned
I don't know Zackie I think you are finally wrong for once... I think most people only really enjoy sex if they are attracted to their partner(s). I don't watch porn and I also only sleep with attractive people, IMO. I've actually never tried it with an unattractive person, again IMO, So I can't say for certain I wouldn't enjoy it, but I think I'm in the same boat as you Afro.
ZackieChan
Member
Hahahaha, I think the consensus of China-GAF is that you've been with some unattractive ladies.
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