Spent the night again, at her place this time as her sister (who she lives with) was away for the whole day and the next. Made tacos and watched some documentary. Started to fool around in the couch but she was hesitant so I asked if she was tired, apparently shark week. I took it in very good stride and she actually seemed (pleasantly I think) surprised of my reaction. We just cuddled and went to bed later, got home just now. This girl is the bomb yo
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
- Start date
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I were doing really good for the past week, getting over my ex-girlfriend who I broke up with, but for some reason she texts me today with a lot of bad messages, calling me names, and saying she hates me, and should have never been with me, and now I'm damn sad, even though I shouldn't care about her. On the brink of just going to bed and hide under my duvet lol.
That said, I'm gonna start up a new place in about two weeks, and I have already met a few people there, and one of the girls look like a younger Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot), so it can't be that bad.
That said, I'm gonna start up a new place in about two weeks, and I have already met a few people there, and one of the girls look like a younger Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot), so it can't be that bad.
Block number and delete from social media asap. You don't need that shit in your life.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
So I'm meeting this girl again tonight for coffee, Friday was at bar was great but because of being weak and seat placement didn't really get physical and just ended night cheek kiss
Now I'm happy to meet her this evening for coffee, but how the hell do I get a kiss out of a coffee meet when I didn't do it at that bar?
Now I'm happy to meet her this evening for coffee, but how the hell do I get a kiss out of a coffee meet when I didn't do it at that bar?
Do you have a vehicle? Offer to pick her up, and it might make it easier when you drop her off home. Or, depending on how far coffee is from where she lives, and how well things are going, walk her home. There's your opportunity.
Edit: Don't push this though, if you're not sure on where things are going between you too- you could make her uncomfortable or even set off a red flag.
SneakersSO
Member
Yeah, since this is the 2nd date, try & come up with a 2nd phase to the date. Some place nearby for you two to walk & talk while sipping on those coffee's would be ideal. Have you pick her up (like The Wall suggested) would also be solid. Or, if the date is going really well, and you can tell she is vibing you, see if you can ask her to come back to your place to hang out with ya.
They have some quality products at reasonable prices that you can't get elsewhere (I'm more focusing on the fact that you can order healthier versions of beverage types there, which is part of where I feel their popularity stays strong).
ZackieChan
Member
Outside of the US, Starbucks can be VERY expensive compared to other cafes. That's what I was referring to
Sounds like you are able to read social cues properly and that you are just out of practice as you say. Keep at it and you'll recover your skills even faster.
Took me a couple of minutes to figure this one out XD
Can't understand if you had sex with her or not, but if you didn't because of her having her period that was a mistake. Not a "you are in or you are out" mistake but keep in mind when a girl "announces" she has her period it's more a request to smooth things out for her, like saying that you don't care or that you'll figure things out for the both of you.
It was a request for comfort. Cuddling was a good solution but having sex with her anyway would have made her feel better.
Much, much better ;D.
Outside of the US, Starbucks can be VERY expensive compared to other cafes. That's what I was referring to
Oh my. That sounds about right. Kind of like how McDonald's is crazy expensive in some other countries compared to here, I figure. "Yuppie" store.
User 479360
Banned
Starbucks is a rip-off here. I'd much rather go to Tim Horton's or something of that ilk. McDonald's coffee is well-priced, but I like hot chocolate and theirs is overpriced here too. I think they talked me into buying one for $2.50 once and it was basically a small.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
I live in NYC, no cars involved and we are coming from opposite directions so I can't really walk with her as we are meeting there. I feel offering to come back to my place would really be pushing especially if we haven't even kissed yet. Maybe I'll walk with her a block before turning around to go back my direction to make a move?
Lone_Prodigy
Member
What. No means no.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Sounds like she didn't want to have sex...why else would she be pleasantly surprised by the poster not pushing for it or getting pissy about it.
That kinda leads me to believe she might have had a previous encounter where she felt she had to go along with having sex even though she didn't feel like it.
We've had sex once before. This time I started undressing her but she was hesitant so I asked the question and she said she was on her period. I certainly didn't take that as "no fuck me anyway" but rather that she wants to do other stuff.
sti4thewin
Member
That's when you ask to fuck in the shower. Speaking of periods I have an horrific story that happened to me last week. Do we have a sex-gaf thread?
One thing that is on my mind is when we were lying in bed and neither of us could sleep. We played a game where you say three statements about yourself, two of which are true and one is false. The other person's job is then to guess which one is false. One of her true statements was "I have never been in love" which caught me off guard. Previously she told me that her only "serious" relationship was six months with a guy that ended about a year ago. Apparently then she didn't even love the guy, which puzzles me.
I didn't ask further questions about it, just said something like "aw that sucks, but it'll come when you least expect it" and changed the subject. Should I have inquired more? It seems like a thing you don't bring up if you don't want to make a point of it. If this analysis is pointless then do tell me.
I didn't ask further questions about it, just said something like "aw that sucks, but it'll come when you least expect it" and changed the subject. Should I have inquired more? It seems like a thing you don't bring up if you don't want to make a point of it. If this analysis is pointless then do tell me.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Went to a bar with a bunch of people, met a cute girl on the dancefloor and seemed to get along really, really well. She said she was 'standing under the air conditioning because it's hot in this room'. Replied that 'the room isn't the only thing that's hot'. She smiled and said that was 'smooth' , and that 'it was an 8/10 line'. Danced with her some, tried to kiss her but she only smiled and turned her cheek towards me :/ She still seemed to like talking to me, responded well to physical contact like running fingers through her hair, putting a hand, so I decide to keep going. Random guy swoops in and starts talking to her, and suddenly now all of her attention is on him. Get slowly squeezed out of the conversation, game over. Everyone in my group saw this and said the guy was a dick, and I was doing well until he came in, lol. So I end up going back home alone, but still ended up being a fun as hell night. So near yet so far.
User 479360
Banned
Got home from my movie and Burger King date not long ago. It went pretty well, but I don't know if there's really whatever you want to call it (chemistry?) between us. She's really nice, though.
I let her know I was going to be a bit late, because we were late eating which she didn't mind at all, but I rushed out the door and got there before the previews. I thought we were going to eat before we did, but it's crazy here with all the PSWs coming in and out.
She had told me she was broke and didn't know if she wanted to do anything because of that, since she'd feel bad about me paying, but I said it was fine (I know I grumped about it here, but it's just the cheapass inside of me talking. I pay for most dates I go on). But when I got there, she'd bought her ticket and popcorn, so I just bought mine and apologized.
I didn't have any of the popcorn because I'd just eaten, and felt bad, but she took it home and movie popcorn is always good even after the fact.
We saw Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, as it's based on a book she's reading and she doesn't like going to see horror (which it really isn't) movies alone. I wish we could've gone to see something else, but I guess it wasn't half bad.
Afterwards, we went to Burger King and talked. We share a lot of similar interests, but I think I feel more for girl #1.
Another girl I met and went on a date with a month or two ago (the one with depression who decided not to pursue anything because she thought it'd be unfair, and that she should work on herself) contacted me on FB out of the blue today. She said, "I miss talking to you." I was actually thinking about her and wishing things had gone differently because she's quite attractive and we got along really well.
I let her know I was going to be a bit late, because we were late eating which she didn't mind at all, but I rushed out the door and got there before the previews. I thought we were going to eat before we did, but it's crazy here with all the PSWs coming in and out.
She had told me she was broke and didn't know if she wanted to do anything because of that, since she'd feel bad about me paying, but I said it was fine (I know I grumped about it here, but it's just the cheapass inside of me talking. I pay for most dates I go on). But when I got there, she'd bought her ticket and popcorn, so I just bought mine and apologized.
I didn't have any of the popcorn because I'd just eaten, and felt bad, but she took it home and movie popcorn is always good even after the fact.
We saw Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, as it's based on a book she's reading and she doesn't like going to see horror (which it really isn't) movies alone. I wish we could've gone to see something else, but I guess it wasn't half bad.
Afterwards, we went to Burger King and talked. We share a lot of similar interests, but I think I feel more for girl #1.
Another girl I met and went on a date with a month or two ago (the one with depression who decided not to pursue anything because she thought it'd be unfair, and that she should work on herself) contacted me on FB out of the blue today. She said, "I miss talking to you." I was actually thinking about her and wishing things had gone differently because she's quite attractive and we got along really well.
hydrophilic attack
Member
I haven't been in love since I was 15. I think that's pretty common.
stn
Member
What could you have done? Almost anything. Do you realize what kind of an obstacle you've overcome when you know a girl is physically into you? That's literally 80% of the work. All that's left is showing that you're normal. Its really bloody easy, too.
*Girl looks at you*
You: "I noticed you staring. You got a thing for me or something?
"*This is the part where she laughs it off and you guys chat*
Like, who cares about social convention and shit at that point. The girl is into you. Just go up and say "HI". Simple communication, man - the bread 'n butter of talking. You don't need anything elaborate because you already have her attention.
IMO, its really easy when the girl is physically into you.
Not that I know of. I'm not sure it would go over well (or it could be hard to moderate fairly).
Happens to the best of us man. Shake it off and on to the next one.
FWIW my record with meeting girls by dancing with them is zero so.
How quickly should someone fall in love? And if they were in love why would they have broken up and you have the opportunity to be laying in bed next to her playing games? Why does it matter how many dudes she was in love with? How quickly do you want her to fall in love with you? Yes your analysis is pointless. Just go with the flow. Don't worry about hers or your past, it makes no difference towards the future, besides giving the both of you previous experience to build on and improve your future relationships with.
Does anyone else feel like we're at this point where online dating is burning out? I only ask because like 3-4 years ago I got many dates from OKC and now I pretty much get nothing, and Tinder seems to be mainly a waste of time. I always get a message or two back and then nothing from someone. I really feel like no one puts in any effort at all these days and you look creepy if you seem interested.
Nope. Have you tried deleting and recreating your accounts? It seems to work for most people here.
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
Might wanna try redoing your profile, adding new pics etc. I did that recently and it seems to have helped.
Also hi everybody, first time in here. Been doing the online thing for awhile, was mostly doing it for a hookup deal but in the past few months the need for something more substantial has certainly creeped in, def looking for something more long term and consistent. Needs that intimacy and closeness on the regular, and the constant start and stop nature of the hookup cycle has made the whole process a bit long in the tooth.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
I have a bad feeling about this. Something tells me she's going to say something came up and can't go tomorrow night. Friday was going to be our second meetup, but she was sick, and got me sick too, she had to stay later Friday night to make up for hours. She was still down to get dinner, but I told her Monday would be better so we're not in a rush.
Last night were texting again, clarifying I'm confident she'll love the place. She replies back, "that confident huh?" I say yes, and that I'm confident she'll wear her dress. She tells me she was going to wear a dress for me.
I told her I'd like to pick her up between 7:30/7:45, because the restaurant closes at 10. She can work whatever hours she wants, so she says depending on when she gets in.
My point being? She's out now, and if she goes into work later, we may not have the time to hit up the restaurant.
Add to the fact of her saying "hi" when I asked her about the pic of her work pants last night followed by saying they were her scrubs, she said "hi" was autocorrect. Autocorrect of what? I think she was talking to new dick, but we were talking again a lot after that.
I dunno. The way how I see it, if a girl agrees to go out with you, don't get excited yet. It's not official until the day of the date.
I could be overreacting as usual.
Last night were texting again, clarifying I'm confident she'll love the place. She replies back, "that confident huh?" I say yes, and that I'm confident she'll wear her dress. She tells me she was going to wear a dress for me.
I told her I'd like to pick her up between 7:30/7:45, because the restaurant closes at 10. She can work whatever hours she wants, so she says depending on when she gets in.
My point being? She's out now, and if she goes into work later, we may not have the time to hit up the restaurant.
Add to the fact of her saying "hi" when I asked her about the pic of her work pants last night followed by saying they were her scrubs, she said "hi" was autocorrect. Autocorrect of what? I think she was talking to new dick, but we were talking again a lot after that.
I dunno. The way how I see it, if a girl agrees to go out with you, don't get excited yet. It's not official until the day of the date.
I could be overreacting as usual.
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
I dunno. The way how I see it, if a girl agrees to go out with you, don't get excited yet. It's not official until the day of the date.
I could be overreacting as usual.
Probably, most girls I've made plans with tend to stick to them, though if more than a few days have elapsed between making initial plans and the date with little to no communication in between it's always good to confirm the day before. Sounds like her schedule is loose though, if she's making it I wouldn't sweat it.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Thats what I do, too.
But like I said she's out now. She could go into work late, which means getting out late.
I could be overreacting as usual.
Sometimes I feel like you could really benefit from a break from dating for a bit to clear your head. I feel like how actively you put yourself out there has got so much "what if" type thinking swirling around in your head that it could eventually start taking a toll on you (and your ability to put yourself out there from the best place possible).
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
I think I missed some prior history here, so you're supposed to go on a date tomorrow right? When you say she's out right now I take it you mean off work, does she have an odd shift or something?
Opposite experience for me. I find myself getting better at it and getting more dates. Going steady with one girl right now, though.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
No she's not working. She may be out with friends. She's a mile away from her home. Yeah, I checked her tinder profile.
Guess Zaraki was right. I am a joke poster.
ZackieChan
Member
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Online dating is a new thing for me. I've only been doing it since late October. Since then I've been out with a lot of women. Only one that I got into was Emily of course. This one is cool, too.
The problem is online dating. It's basically a huge playing field. One moment you match with someone, gel pretty good with each other, then get ghosted because they matched with someone better, because there are a lot of guys to swipe right.
Never had these thoughts when I was meeting women in public or getting hooked up via friends.
Online dating is convenient because of my retail schedule and looking for a job is full time work.
This girl is driving me nuts. She's great and there's chemistry when we are together, but communication when not face-to-face is like talking to a brick wall. After she canceled our plans on Friday and didn't offer a re-schedule, I just told her that I get the feeling I should back off. Hours later she says, "No, I'm just really busy."
Tomorrow I'll make one last attempt and then I'm bailing.
Tomorrow I'll make one last attempt and then I'm bailing.
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
I was kind of a nut when I first started it too, like you said there's a higher tendency towards ghosting with online, it's just too easy and impersonal due to the nature of no face to face. It'll get easier and you'll learn to shrug and move on with these drop offs the more you do it, and in turn exude a less thirsty vibe. That said good luck with tomorrow
This is always annoying and in my experience the "really busy" thing is usually deflection. If it were me I'd move on now, especially with the no reschedule offer on her part.
Bro, I was getting a similar feeling with this girl I've been dating for a few weeks now. I had a chat with her and she said she wanted to go slow and felt like we were rushing into things.
Give her some space and don't message her at all. If she is really interested, she will come back to you and make time.
Your Entertainer
Member
Good advice - don't message her. Don't tell her about "getting the feeling you should back off" or whatever - that will probably have the opposite effect than what you want. In my experience, the "really busy" line is almost always BS. If she's really interested, she'll initiate things.
Jason, you have a date tomorrow. Don't obsess over her work schedule, and don't overanalyze a silly little autocorrect thingie that could mean anything. There's no point.
Could she ghost you? Sure. Will she? YOU DON'T KNOW AND CANNOT KNOW NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU PLAY THAT SCENARIO IN YOUR HEAD.
Be confident. You scored a date tomorrow, sweet! Now play it cool and dress nicely and have it all planned out. That shouldn't take too long. The rest of the time, keep your mind off it and do other things.
Don't: be insecure and obsess over the little things that don't matter. Honestly, what is that autocorrect thing really going to do? Huh? Who cares. You just be you and own it. So what if she met some other loser. He's just a scrub and doesn't stand a chance compared to you.
All those little insecurities probably seep into your interactions, even if you don't realize it.
Could she ghost you? Sure. Will she? YOU DON'T KNOW AND CANNOT KNOW NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU PLAY THAT SCENARIO IN YOUR HEAD.
Be confident. You scored a date tomorrow, sweet! Now play it cool and dress nicely and have it all planned out. That shouldn't take too long. The rest of the time, keep your mind off it and do other things.
Don't: be insecure and obsess over the little things that don't matter. Honestly, what is that autocorrect thing really going to do? Huh? Who cares. You just be you and own it. So what if she met some other loser. He's just a scrub and doesn't stand a chance compared to you.
All those little insecurities probably seep into your interactions, even if you don't realize it.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Well this'll be our second date.
I really need to stop obsessing over things I can't control. But it's hard.
I really need to stop obsessing over things I can't control. But it's hard.
Holy shit you checked her profile to see her distance from you to determine if she's out and about?
So it's better to just leave it up in the air than to seek clarification?
She stayed over the second time we hung out, and we had sex the next night. I could understand if things were moving too fast. Honestly I'm just looking for communication to know what's up.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Well, I don't act like this on the actual dates. Everything goes smoothly. It went well with her on the first date, and she wouldn't have agreed on a second date if the first didn't go well.
Everything inbetween the dates I have problems with, but the funny thing is I haven't done or said anything to fuck it up.
Yes, leave it up to her to initiate or you will end up looking needy. I slept with this girl thrice and then she decided in her head that things were going to fast which really confused me. She didn't communicate clearly at first but I took her 'busyness' as a warning and backed off. Next time we met, I asked her what's the deal.
Cool. I'll take this route and back off. See what happens from there. Thanks.
No offense but this is creepy as fuck. You need to chill out with worrying about everything, good lord.
And this is exactly why messaging apps with read receipts and location tags added automatically are bullshit.
Does fb messenger still by default say your location? Girl I used to talk to would ask what I'm doing this place or that place... Insanity.
SneakersSO
Member
RE: Read tagging & geo tagging - one of the reasons I haven't gotten an iphone (droid user here) is specifically because I don't want my obsessive mind latching onto something that is essentially irrelevant. It's the absolute last thing I need.
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