radioactivez0r
Member
I can't disagree with the prevailing wisdom, as it's too sensible and most times it's totally accurate.
This sort of depends on the office.
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
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I can't disagree with the prevailing wisdom, as it's too sensible and most times it's totally accurate.
This sort of depends on the office.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Have you sought professional help, or the advice of your closest friends? After all, we're just a bunch of strangers on the Internet. The advice we give is solid for the most part, but it's also generic since we don't know each other.
What's your personality like? What makes you a good friend? How do you build professional relationships at work? Do people gravitate towards you?
Life is too short to deal with manufactured drama. And eggshells are for eating, not for walking on.Hahaha, thanks guys, reading your comments does actually make me feel a bit better. Typing this stuff out also helped me see things more clearly.
It's such a shame, apart from that stuff she's really awesome. C'est la vie, I guess.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Why do you think I'm doing this intentionally?
Bruce Springsteen
Member
How long do you have to go on dates with someone before you say you're dating the person
Etrian Oddity
Member
All my close friends can (or will?) tell me is to just keep approaching. Which doesn't really fix the problem, considering I've approached hundreds of girls and statistically someone would have bitten by now.
At work: My bosses love me and treat me as a friend and equal and not just a cog. My subordinates (I'm a department supervisor) are loyal and I've heard through the grapevine they're ecstatic to have me as their leader. Other managers try to poach me into their department, and other associates below me try to jump into whichever department I'm in.
ZackieChan
Member
Every one of your posts leaves out crucial information or is somehow vague. We've discussed it before!
Hahaha, thanks guys, reading your comments does actually make me feel a bit better. Typing this stuff out also helped me see things more clearly.
It's such a shame, apart from that stuff she's really awesome. C'est la vie, I guess.
Yeah, it sucks. I went out with a girl who was super sensitive to stuff, too. I told her she looked like David the Gnome once, and she burst into tears after I showed her a picture of him. But she had this red hat that looked like his hat! That was just one of many ridiculous fights.
So I ran into a girl I was dating in December last week for the first time since we stopped. She was the one to say we shouldn't date any more. It was super awkward and we barely said hi/ were both avoiding interaction. It was made worse by the fact that she was with a guy who I think she's now dating. It is very possible that I'll be around her again tonight. How do I act around her now? I don't want to seem cold or standoffish but it's just really hard to be around her, and I have no idea what to talk about/don't just want to make small talk.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
"Nice to see you again. Hope you're doing well. Hey, sorry, I need to go talk to Brad now -- take care!"
Or just don't interact with her. She's not going out of her way to talk to you; you don't need to do the same with her.
It's different for everyone, so it means you've got to have the DTR talk. But yeah, I know what you mean: I've been out on something like 8 dates with someone; I'm not seeing anyone else. She's not either. We've slept over a few times. She has her own toothbrush at my place. I bring my stuff when I visit her. We're "dating, but not seriously." She alluded to me "needing to find another girlfriend" in a joke. So, I don't know: I don't want to rush things and DTR either.
I'd simply not worry about labels and let things progress naturally.
Psychoward
Banned
I have a dilemma. Been FWB with a girl for a month, she invited me to a "crush party" this Saturday, dress code is business casual. She said if I don't come it's no big deal. We haven't been on any dates outside of occasionally getting food together at the college dining hall. We've both re-iterated we weren't looking for something serious but still, feelings can change. However, even though we're both exclusive to each other I don't feel like completely settling down in to a relationship any time soon, especially someone who isn't exactly my "type".
What do I do here?
What do I do here?
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
Bring your résumé
I'm confused, is the purpose of a "crush party" to bring a plus one or to meet others? Has she made any mention of wanting something more? Maybe discuss that with her, see if you're on the same page with what the both of you want out of this.
Psychoward
Banned
Bring your résumé
I'm confused, is the purpose of a "crush party" to bring a plus one or to meet others? Has she made any mention of wanting something more? Maybe discuss that with her, see if you're on the same page with what the both of you want out of this.
nah, sorry, should have elaborated
it's basically just a date party that's supposed to be anonymous but most people don't follow it
I'd be her date. I think I'll just ask, and if she's okay with just going there friendly then I'll RSVP, if she wants something more I'll break it off before the whole thing spirals out of control.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Sorry! Expressing myself isn't easy. Even on NeoGAF.
----
Well. I'd like to make another comment though. Like today at school my friend asked me If she wasn't with her boyfriend, would I go out with her? I said "sure" in a sarcastic tone because I didn't think she was serious.
Nevermind the fact that she asked me something similar months ago. She asked me if I was a virgin, and how would I feel if she took that v-card away. Again, I kind brushed it off before I didn't wanna have sex before marriage. (not just for religious reasons, but I want it to feel special(?)) The again I'm not that much against the idea.
I'm kinda conflicted about that(friendship). But it's not like I can't find other women to talk to. And at least I don't feel unattractive anymore.
I tried not to be vague.
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
Not sure what you're conflicted about, she has a bf. Stay away. Unless you just mean the friendship in general is awkward due to these interactions? Yeah that kinda thing would drive me nuts.
ZackieChan
Member
You did well on this one! Proud of you!
Yeah, stay away from this noise. Sounds like she's just teasing you. I can't agree with you about the purity promise, but whatevs. If that's your thing, that's your thing. Don't hang around with this chick, or at least understand that she's probably not actually interested in having sex with you. Does she know about your plan to say a virgin until marriage?
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Yeah, this is kinda tricky for me. On one hand I don't want to just sleep without one that I don't have strong feelings for.
But on the other hand: Sex does come up a lot in my social circle from time to time. I don't want to be that guy who hasn't made with anybody. y'know? I doubt it'll hurt if I did slept with someone.
ZackieChan
Member
It might even feel good
Etrian Oddity
Member
If your friends are real friends, you won't get shit for it.
In my circle I have guys who slay on command and could easily give me crap about my lack of success with women, but they don't. Because they're good guys.
If you get the opportunity to do it though, do it. Some of us just don't get those chances, you need to appreciate the fact you can.
Well, fuck, this is annoying me.
Previous post/s, for those of you who are clueless.
http://m.neogaf.com/showpost.php?p=195580469
Anyways, yeah, I feel like she's slapping me in the face when making the gestures that she does.
Rub on my shoulder saying goodbye, complimenting and teasing how organized I am and mentioning how "awesome" I am. Before she said that, we kind of locked eyes for a second. Just close and intense eye contact.
I feel like I'm trying to hold water, and no matter what I do, it slips from my fingers. I wanted to ask her what she was doing after class (which she lingered around for a bit while I stayed after to work some more.) Or I was to ask for her weekend plans.
This motherfucking guy kept fucking talking to me. Just bothering me, and bothering me. I didn't want to be a dick to him and cut him off completely, so I just let conversation flow.
She just said goodbye and left...
At this point, I don't care about rejection or whatever may happen. I'm just annoyed with this now, so I'm going to bite the bullet and see what happens.
I just want a resolution. I want this to be over with. It's been going on too long, and the way she's been hinting me has made me feel like the most vapid and dense fool on this earth.
Previous post/s, for those of you who are clueless.
http://m.neogaf.com/showpost.php?p=195580469
Anyways, yeah, I feel like she's slapping me in the face when making the gestures that she does.
Rub on my shoulder saying goodbye, complimenting and teasing how organized I am and mentioning how "awesome" I am. Before she said that, we kind of locked eyes for a second. Just close and intense eye contact.
I feel like I'm trying to hold water, and no matter what I do, it slips from my fingers. I wanted to ask her what she was doing after class (which she lingered around for a bit while I stayed after to work some more.) Or I was to ask for her weekend plans.
This motherfucking guy kept fucking talking to me. Just bothering me, and bothering me. I didn't want to be a dick to him and cut him off completely, so I just let conversation flow.
She just said goodbye and left...
At this point, I don't care about rejection or whatever may happen. I'm just annoyed with this now, so I'm going to bite the bullet and see what happens.
I just want a resolution. I want this to be over with. It's been going on too long, and the way she's been hinting me has made me feel like the most vapid and dense fool on this earth.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Well then, I'll just make myself at home.
If your friends are real friends, you won't get shit for it.
In my circle I have guys who slay on command and could easily give me crap about my lack of success with women, but they don't. Because they're good guys.
If you get the opportunity to do it though, do it. Some of us just don't get those chances, you need to appreciate the fact you can.
As long as it's through legal means I'm good.
But nah,my friends don't roast me about that but I like to feel legit, you know what I'm saying, man? I don't mind if I fuck one girl in my lifetime as long as I can mark it off my checklist.
DJ Jazzy J
Neo Member
I never said I was speaking for everyone. I do know other girls that think that way too but obviously not everyone. I'll raise the issue at our next Girl Meeting and get back to you.
Blackquill
Member
Hi guys, I'm going to meet a girl soon. I knew her for quite some times and recently, she showed interest in me (actually that was her that wanted to meet today. I kinda like her and I don't want to screw this up, I'm quite at ease when talking and we laugh a lot together but thing is, I don't know how to really ask out someone. The rare occasions when I got a girlfriend is almost by chance or she was the one to ask out. I don't really know how to take it to the next step without being too straight-forward or too shy. Yeah that sounds odd but I really need some advices about this
Shuggananas
Banned
Why have you not asked her out yet? Or have I missed something...
Gotdatmoney
Member
I don't get why people go into a spiral of feels over something as simple as asking for a date. Just do it first thing next time you see her.
electricshake
Member
Wait so is sex something special to save for marriage or just an item on a list to check off? It can't be both surely?
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Nah. Let me try to clarify, If I find myself someone special then, yeah, sure. But you know, I don't I might just do it to get it over with. I know my logic is weird but I don't do with just any chick. What should I do? I'm going to an anime convention in May, so maybe have a one night stand and sleep with a cosplayer. Could be fun I guess.
User 479360
Banned
We didn't go out last night, because we couldn't think of anything to do and -- mostly -- because I wasn't feeling that well after getting worrying news about a family member's health.
We're going out tonight, though, and are going to see The Witch. I wish it was a cheaper date, but it is what it is and I want to see that movie/may be able to make a move during the movie.
We're going out tonight, though, and are going to see The Witch. I wish it was a cheaper date, but it is what it is and I want to see that movie/may be able to make a move during the movie.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
The sex before marriage part? Yeah, it's a joke.
But seriously though, the thought of losing my V-card makes me nervous.
I don't want my first time to be a disaster.
Eh, I'm just kind of annoyed, not really in a spiral of feelings.
I have nothing wrong with asking girls out. I got severely sidetracked by my work and people. No big deal, but I'm mainly frustrated about how transparent she's trying to be. It makes me feel foolish.
Also, I want to approach this reasonably. A week ago, I wasn't even focusing on my work because her and I were dicking around too much.
So yeah, I mentioned the guy because I was trying to work after class and he wouldn't give me space to breath. Everywhere I went in lab he went, just running his mouth trying to prolong a conversation. She started standing around listening to our 'conversation' but eventually left because she thought I was really invested in it and didn't want to interrupt. After the class, her and I usually have a talk and that was the time I was going to use to find out her plans.
So yeah, it's no big deal, but I get frustrated initially. I am feeling dense as I've mentioned. As if I'm incapable of picking up signs, but that's not the problem at all. So, to end this dancing around, I'm going just ask her out outright. I feel too direct when doing that, but it's the best way to end this.
Until then 👌
electricshake
Member
Why not stay in? I suggested on the previous page you cook for her.
And don't make a move during the movie, do it before or after.
Also you better not be paying for her.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Does paying for her make it a waste?
User 479360
Banned
Neither of us have our own places, and I also don't know how to cook. It's kind of hard to have a date here, especially.
I mean holding her hand and stuff like that.
I was figuring I would pay. I paid for the mini golf and the first round of coffee, but she did offer to pay for her mini golf and got coffee the 2nd time.
I would love it if she offered to pick this one up since she's the only one working (I'm on disability), but I can afford it and it's okay.
No
....what?
Honestly, it is not a big deal. Don't feel pressured to do just because. But saving yourself won't turn your first time into some magical unique special event.
Direct is the best way. It is the always the best way. It removes all doubts and wastes no one's time. Some people chicken out because they're afraid of rejection, but if the girl is going to reject you, going about it the long convoluted way is still going to get you rejected.
Some people prefer the old-fashioned way of having the guy pay for everything. But a 21st-century independant woman should be able to pay for her own way.
Would she think less of you if you don't pay for her?
Lionheart1827
Member
Ehh, in the future when you're having sex regularly you'll probably laugh at this because it aint no big deal.
There is a good chance it will not be that great since you dont have any experience. Sex gets much better when you start finding out what you and your partner likes.
Either way, it'll most likely feel good, but try not to put it on a pedestal because then you'll build it up and may get let down.
I look back on my first time and it was alright, nothing amazing, but in time it got better and better.
Dont join the booty eating renaissance, its gross
Miles Quaritch
Member
First times are almost always disasters. The point is to not focus too much on making sure it goes well but to get it over with and start to build some experience about what works for you and what works for your partner.
Don't let nerves or some misguided idea that you want your first time to be 'perfect' stop you from having sex and gaining experience that will make it less of a disaster the more you do it.
Don't let nerves or some misguided idea that you want your first time to be 'perfect' stop you from having sex and gaining experience that will make it less of a disaster the more you do it.
Kid Kamikaze10
Member
My first time was a threesome and it was still pretty damn disastrous.
Learn from it, and gain that experience. It'll make sex with your future partner so much better.
Learn from it, and gain that experience. It'll make sex with your future partner so much better.
User 479360
Banned
She wanted to go bowling, but that didn't start until 9pm which is too late for her because she had to work. We were struggling to come up with another idea (I mentioned Deadpool, but she has plans to see it with her family), and I told her it'd been a hard day for me due to the news from the doctor.
I guess she decided it was best not to do anything last night, and asked if I wanted to tonight.
I don't think she would, but I'm not in her head.
It's almost guaranteed to be a awkward and nervous experience, but that's not a bad thing. Don't sweat it.
SneakersSO
Member
So, i'm starting the process of trying to wean myself off of the girl I previously mentioned. Problem is she's been great company, even if we haven't done anything sexual. I thought more about it, and I just don't ever see myself becoming fully comfortable enough with the situation to let go and just enjoy sex freely with her. Tons of things that I would normally love to do would become uncomfortable immediately for me, including eating her out, an activity I really enjoy & she really wants. HSV-2 sucks man
electricshake
Member
1. You really should learn to cook (that goes for everyone in here). It's not difficult, it's an essential life skill, and if you like food, it's very satisfying. There are plenty of resources online to help.
2. Does it matter if you don't have your own places? Nowhere you can hang out and have some privacy to watch a film or play a game (board or video)?
3. Don't offer to pay constantly, you two are equals, and adults, so can pay for yourselves. Suggest you get the tickets and she gets the popcorn.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Those are all commendable traits. I assume you've changed your approach and gone after different types of girls. As I said, we're just strangers on the Internet so the most I can say is keep trying and good luck.
With my ex, we kind of danced around the issue. Around the 4th date I did bring it up vaguely and we agreed to delete our accounts, but a couple months later she asked if we were exclusive/official. We broke up a month later so it wasn't the only issue we had, but definitely have that talk to make sure you're on the same page.
I think meeting each others' friends and family is one way to go about it.
User 479360
Banned
You're not wrong. I do need to learn how to cook. I've just been lucky and haven't had to, and have avoided it. I deal with fatigue, and cooking hasn't interested me, but I'll need to know how when I move out.
As for #3, that's not a bad idea.
#2: There's one room we could hang out in here, but I don't know if she's ready to meet family. We're not boyfriend/girlfriend. My living situation is very unique, because I have two disabled family members who need lots of care and there are support workers in and out all day.
I also need to be here at certain times to help.
Miles Quaritch
Member
- If you doesn't care, then you can have her pay for part of the date! (or one pays one time, the other pays the next)
- If she expects you to pay for everything all the time, ask yourself if you're ok with that. Like electricshake says, you are equals and adults.
And yes, do learn how to cook. It's an easy way to impress people, cheaper than eating out, and it can be a fun shared bonding activity. 3 birds 1 stone!
You don't have to feel guilty with what you're comfortable with, as long as you don't shame them. I personally wouldn't be able to get with someone with genital herpes, the paranoia would get to me.So, i'm starting the process of trying to wean myself off of the girl I previously mentioned. Problem is she's been great company, even if we haven't done anything sexual. I thought more about it, and I just don't ever see myself becoming fully comfortable enough with the situation to let go and just enjoy sex freely with her. Tons of things that I would normally love to do would become uncomfortable immediately for me, including eating her out, an activity I really enjoy & she really wants. HSV-2 sucks man
User 479360
Banned
She loves to cook
As for paying: I just feel like it's bad of me if I don't. She offers, but I said that I would cover it to be nice. (This was for miniputt.)
I'm not looking to start cooking, as I've been cooking for a while, but that site is pretty great, and has some good recipes on it. Might try a few myself.
Ask her to teach you a dish and offer to help!
Why do you feel bad? Societal norms?
I'm personally okay with paying for a meal and can afford it, but when a girl feels entitled to it and won't even offer to pay her part after a few dates, it's a red flag for me and I'm not just a sugardaddy. It's the entitlement and wanting to be treated like a princess that would irk me more than having to pay itself. If she's offering, you should really just let her and not feel guilty about it. I doubt you are impressing her by paying, and I doubt that is why she likes you. People who prefer the old-fashioned way will disagree, but those are my thoughts. If a girl offers to pay for me, I won't even raise an objection
She knows I can afford it.Miles Quaritch
Member
\yeah, I should have added it's a great resource even if you're good at cooking.
They've helped make many a night in better and more enjoyable. Really impressive recipes with good and easy to follow step by step instructions.
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