Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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Got dumped today RelationshipGAF. Kinda bummed but not distraught over it or anything.

My ex and I are both in uni (I'm a senior, she's a year younger), says that her workload is too much to also manage a relationship as well. School work comes first, naturally, and I respect that. But oh well I guess. This hasn't been my week.

How hard is her course? An undergrad should have enough time for their personal life as well as work. Anyway, I'm really sorry to hear that.
 
not a good day guys so i bought that Models : Attract Women through honesty have not finished it but i'm learning, good book.. So today I was going to just introduce myself to this girl that always see walking around as I wait for the bus to come. So just me in the bus stop, nobody else and I see her coming and she starts walking around. Like she was ignoring me :( , i'm going to try one more time on Thursday.

I just need to face that rejection that I expect, if she ignores me then whatever I'll forget and move on. I just have to try one more time and do it. I wore my best jeans and extra hair cream to style my hair really good today, but :( , fuck man i'm trying...I'm not bad looking and I'm a nice dude I would say.

I just wanted to talk
 
For the 100th time

"Too busy" is a bullshit excuse.

Especially in college.

She just doesn't like you all that much.

Move on.

Uhm, isn't college precisely the time when one is too busy?

I couldn't do anything because I either had school, volunteer/extracurrics, studying, or part-time work.

Literally (def. in a literal sense or manner, def courtesy of google) had no moment to breath.
 
not a good day guys so i bought that Models : Attract Women through honesty have not finished it but i'm learning, good book.. So today I was going to just introduce myself to this girl that always see walking around as I wait for the bus to come. So just me in the bus stop, nobody else and I see her coming and she starts walking around. Like she was ignoring me :( , i'm going to try one more time on Thursday.

I just need to face that rejection that I expect, if she ignores me then whatever I'll forget and move on. I just have to try one more time and do it. I wore my best jeans and extra hair cream to style my hair really good today, but :( , fuck man i'm trying...I'm not bad looking and I'm a nice dude I would say.

I just wanted to talk

Don't put this random woman on a pedestal, plenty of other instances you could use it on. Coffee shops, at a bar, social gathering. Practice makes perfect. And what have you got to lose by a bit of small talk. If she doesn't reciprocate to at least that then she's not interested. No big deal! I actually met my current girlfriend at a bus stop, try small talk like "Does this bus stop at x" or whatever and go from there. Worked for me!
 
Welp, I tried Plenty of Fish. I met this huge football Packers fan and we went out to eat. We talked for 3 hours before we met. I got off late, so I was already tired. We talked the entire time. Tonight, after asking how everything was at like 1 am last night, she responds just minutes ago with "I don't think we had that spark", so I told her I deleted her number and that she'll never hear from me. She just responded with "just have confidence" and whatever. I haven't dated in a while.

I am an adult and I'm also outgoing. I'm shy because I've taught myself to be that way to just cope. It doesn't mean I'm depressed. It just means I'm ready for what's ahead.

Anyway, she was 4 years older than me. I feel better, but I also feel like normal people do when it just doesn't work. I've moved on, but I forgot how this feeling felt.

I haven't had a connection or a spark in a while. It's like I'm an android because most of my brain is just processing while the other part feels pain. I deleted my Plenty of Fish account for a new life. I want to meet someone somewhere in the real world or at least wait.

I'm so down. lmao I was even playing the Division on the phone this last week and I need a reboot. I kinda don't want to tell anyone this, but I want to vent.

I told her too much about my job and people until I feel like I shouldn't anymore. I shouldn't just tell someone everything because they tend to be this big brother or big sister when it all hits the fan. I feel like I have to find something to be proud of while the other person continues to feel the joy of giving me the bad news.

Anyone know how to delete numbers from the Facebook messenger app? I called her on it and not it's stuck in the suggested people for the phone calls.

I deleted that too. I've been around people who know how to be mean, so I just try to develop elephant skin when something happens.
 
Don't put this random woman on a pedestal, plenty of other instances you could use it on. Coffee shops, at a bar, social gathering. Practice makes perfect. And what have you got to lose by a bit of small talk. If she doesn't reciprocate to at least that then she's not interested. No big deal! I actually met my current girlfriend at a bus stop, try small talk like "Does this bus stop at x" or whatever and go from there. Worked for me!

Like I said, i'll try one more time ... But it would be nice if it was easier...maybe she thinks i'm a creep
 
Never posted in this thread before, this probably doesnt even belong in here but I just wanted an opinon on it aside from the one friend I talk to about stupid things like this.

So there is this girl who's been at my work a few months now. She's technically still a temp so she gets moved to different parts of the office all the time. We've only seen each other in passing and its either a good morning or good night and its fine.

The other day I was messing around with busy work before clock-in time and apparently she was going to be in my section so she's standing around waiting to clock in too. I look up and say good morning like usual, but then she says to me "Good morning. Ive seen you around, but I was too scared to say hi to you because you akways look so serious."

So Im just staring at her a little dumbfounded because no one has ever said theyve been scared to talk to me before. All I could muster wwas "oh sorry. Didnt realize that. My name is bluehat9, by the way. Its nice to meet you" and stand up to shake her hand.

She tells me her name, says "its a pleasure," and asks some questions about this part of the office. Then we clock in and tell her to have a good day and not be be afraid to ask me any questions. Never see her the rest of the day (but thats normal).

Didnt see her today (even though i was hoping to because I would like to talk to her without being frazzled by her saying she was afraid of me) and dont know when she'll actually be in my section again.

I only told my friend the story because I thought it was funny someone was scared of my 'seriousness', but she said that this was something more than nothing (which is what I think, just another weird conversation, and there are plenty at work). Not that there's much to do be done anyway. Just wanted another opinon on the something/nothing debate.
 
I've had such a better time in the dating scene the past month once I stopped worrying about every little detail. It's such a relief now...I haven't been nervous in first dates like I used to be, and actually end up hitting it off with most girls now.

Basically haven't worried about why someone isn't texting me, don't overthink everything, and be confident when you meet up. :D
 
Uhm, isn't college precisely the time when one is too busy?

I couldn't do anything because I either had school, volunteer/extracurrics, studying, or part-time work.

Literally (def. in a literal sense or manner, def courtesy of google) had no moment to breath.

Well I mean, they are in college and they have studying and other stuff to do, but presuming they do like each other and are in the same university they would be at least boning most nights or staying over on weekends, that sort of thing.

It's just an excuse because she doesn't like him that much, as Gwailo said.
 
Like I said, i'll try one more time ... But it would be nice if it was easier...maybe she thinks i'm a creep

Honestly, it sounds like she is already avoiding you. I'm assuming that when she walks by, you looking at her a lot? Staring? Maybe that repeated behavior has made her think you're creepy.

Anyway, sounds like you're not getting the lessons from the book. You are SUPER INVESTED in this girl. It is obvious to us and to her. Forget her and ask out girls that you're not super invested in.
 
I only told my friend the story because I thought it was funny someone was scared of my 'seriousness', but she said that this was something more than nothing (which is what I think, just another weird conversation, and there are plenty at work). Not that there's much to do be done anyway. Just wanted another opinon on the something/nothing debate.

Could be something. Could be a girl just making smalltalk. Hard to tell. Instead, lets ask better questions.

Are you hoping it was something? Can you ask this girl out (and potentially date) without it harming stuff at work? Do you want to?
 
Honestly, it sounds like she is already avoiding you. I'm assuming that when she walks by, you looking at her a lot? Staring? Maybe that repeated behavior has made her think you're creepy.

Anyway, sounds like you're not getting the lessons from the book. You are SUPER INVESTED in this girl. It is obvious to us and to her. Forget her and ask out girls that you're not super invested in.

Yeah..what's the point right.. Just need to keep improving myself, her loss

I need to turn super Saiyan and take out my stunna shades and rock them, my happiness is my goal. Can't give up. believe It!
 
Whenever someone says stuffed animals I immediately go to taxidermy, like literally stuffing. Just call it animal toys, or plushie, stuffed sounds morbid lol.

Also, bears repeating XD
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Uhm, isn't college precisely the time when one is too busy?

I couldn't do anything because I either had school, volunteer/extracurrics, studying, or part-time work.

Literally (def. in a literal sense or manner, def courtesy of google) had no moment to breath.

That's some nice hyperbole right there. Part of college is learning how to manage your life without mommy and daddy planning everything. If you have "no moment to breath" you need to work on your time management skills.

I had a full class load, worked full time, was on the campus radio station and newspaper, did tutoring, and still somehow managed to find time to hang out with friends/go out 2-3 times a week and do hobbies like playing games and working on a website.

Now I am married and me and my wife have crazy work schedules, my mother in law is slipping into dementia, my stepson is going through cancer treatment, two dogs to take care of, not to mention chores/housework. But we make time to be with each other, because that's what people that care about each other do.

If someone really can't spare an hour or two every few days to hang out with you (doesn't even have to be a big "date") the relationship isn't that important to them. No one is that "busy". It's a bullshit excuse.
 
Might be going to Comic Con in May, don't know if it's weird to start up conversations with attractive chicks over there if it seems that we have a fandom in common or something.
 
Might be going to Comic Con in May, don't know if it's weird to start up conversations with attractive chicks over there if it seems that we have a fandom in common or something.

Starting up conversations with attractive women who you are not invested in is a great way to get used to talking to attractive women and getting over your fear. If you hit it off, ask them to meet you for coffee or a drink.
 
Might be going to Comic Con in May, don't know if it's weird to start up conversations with attractive chicks over there if it seems that we have a fandom in common or something.

If you're talking about fellow attendees, why not. Never been there but I've heard there are a lot of hookups. It's kind of geek spring break.

I would refrain from trying to pick up the "booth babes" though. They probably get hundreds of awkward sweaty nerds trying to hit on them every day.

Just watch out for the furries ;)
 
Might be going to Comic Con in May, don't know if it's weird to start up conversations with attractive chicks over there if it seems that we have a fandom in common or something.

Make friends with everyone. Cons are so much more fun if you start up conversations with anyone you can (weird guy who doesn't take showers is excluded here).

Try to stay in the host hotel. Makes it tons easier to get drunk and/or take girls back to your place. At DragonCon, the entire hotel becomes a giant drunken revelry. Staying offsite means you miss it.

If you intend to talk up cosplayers, have better questions than "How did you make your costume?". They get that hundreds of times a day. Learn some basic costuming terms to try and show a genuine interest in their craft.

Finally, showering and deodorant is damned important. Don't be the weird guy who doesn't take showers.
 
Might be going to Comic Con in May, don't know if it's weird to start up conversations with attractive chicks over there if it seems that we have a fandom in common or something.
That's probably the most comfortable place you're gonna find to chat up women. Do they still do that speed dating event?

This reminded me, I want more Geek Love episodes.
 
Oh god, yesterday I earned the biggest L in a long, long time time.

There's this...um, older woman I met on OKC a good while back. Very nice and sweet, but unfortunately, not somebody you'd mistake for Scarlett Johanson. Despite that, we've had this weird on again, off again relationship. Though it's not really a relationship, so much as it is meeting up for sex. The last time I saw her was over a year ago, and I told myself I wouldn't deal with her again. But periodically, she still ghosts me on OKC and occasionally messages as well. Yesterday was one of those times.

Normally, I'd ignore her as I've been doing for the past year, but sadly, it was one of those times when one feels a bit too, how do you put it...amorous? Against my better judgement, I called her up and convinced her to come to my place. She shows up and things start off okay, but our intimacy quickly devolves after the first few minutes and I come to the realization that I'm really not enjoying myself. I will spare you all the details, but I immediately regretted my decision. Suddenly I remembered why I stopped seeing her to begin with. She rolled around a lot in her sleep and snores like a mofo, which killed any opportunity I had to get rest, myself.

The worst part of all this is that I had a major exam I had to study for today. It's hard to recall a moment in recent memory that included this much fail. UGH.
 
Anyone have any good sexytime spotify playlists or other general music suggestions?

I mean...he scored. That's gotta count for something.

It's one of those scores where, all other things considered, you'd rather not have scored. Like, the regret far outweighed the pleasure, resulting in a net loss.
 
A girl I went out last week sent me a text saying she had a great time and I'm awesome, she then went on to say that she reminded me of somebody she uses to date and it's difficult for her.

How do I respond to this? Is there anything left for me to say? I am confused, I don't believe I did anything wrong.
 
Oh god, yesterday I earned the biggest L in a long, long time time.

There's this...um, older woman I met on OKC a good while back. Very nice and sweet, but unfortunately, not somebody you'd mistake for Scarlett Johanson. Despite that, we've had this weird on again, off again relationship. Though it's not really a relationship, so much as it is meeting up for sex. The last time I saw her was over a year ago, and I told myself I wouldn't deal with her again. But periodically, she still ghosts me on OKC and occasionally messages as well. Yesterday was one of those times.

Normally, I'd ignore her as I've been doing for the past year, but sadly, it was one of those times when one feels a bit too, how do you put it...amorous? Against my better judgement, I called her up and convinced her to come to my place. She shows up and things start off okay, but our intimacy quickly devolves after the first few minutes and I come to the realization that I'm really not enjoying myself. I will spare you all the details, but I immediately regretted my decision. Suddenly I remembered why I stopped seeing her to begin with. She rolled around a lot in her sleep and snores like a mofo, which killed any opportunity I had to get rest, myself.

The worst part of all this is that I had a major exam I had to study for today. It's hard to recall a moment in recent memory that included this much fail. UGH.


...but you had sex?

Unless it was secretly a man that's rarely considered an L, bro
 
A girl I went out last week sent me a text saying she had a great time and I'm awesome, she then went on to say that she reminded me of somebody she uses to date and it's difficult for her.

How do I respond to this? Is there anything left for me to say? I am confused, I don't believe I did anything wrong.

Nothing you can really do. I think that has happened to everyone at least once. Either they remind the person of someone they have dated, or vice versa.

It is different for everyone in terms of continuing to date the person. I have had girls tell me I remind them of X, but we still dated. I usually don't mind, but there was this one time I couldn't go on.

You did nothing wrong, so don't think like that.
 
Nothing you can really do. I think that has happened to everyone at least once. Either they remind the person of someone they have dated, or vice versa.

It is different for everyone in terms of continuing to date the person. I have had girls tell me I remind them of X, but we still dated. I usually don't mind, but there was this one time I couldn't go on.

You did nothing wrong, so don't think like that.

Do I need to respond to her text or just delete contact?
 
A girl I went out last week sent me a text saying she had a great time and I'm awesome, she then went on to say that she reminded me of somebody she uses to date and it's difficult for her.

How do I respond to this? Is there anything left for me to say? I am confused, I don't believe I did anything wrong.

Hmm. Don't know if it's a dealbreaker or not. Maybe try something like "let's turn those bad memories into good ones"? I'd give it one last effort, and if she doesn't respond, feel free to delete.

Anyone have any good sexytime spotify playlists or other general music suggestions?

https://youtu.be/dskTEpaR_xI

It's one of those scores where, all other things considered, you'd rather not have scored. Like, the regret far outweighed the pleasure, resulting in a net loss.

For me, it was Tuesday.
 
Just tell her that you get it and you'll try to feel okay about whatever she decides. You didn't do anything wrong, but she's not either, it's just one of those things that happens.

Alright cool, dating sucks, life was a lot easier when I didn't have to think about this stuff. Any way I'm gonna go bomb some back roads and hopes to not get speeding ticket.
 
Alright cool, dating sucks, life was a lot easier when I didn't have to think about this stuff.
Something I've learned about dating and have been trying my best to internalise since my most recent break-up is that shit happens. Just because you know that something is necessary, or don't want to be feeling a certain way won't stop you from feeling bad about it.

For example: My ex's pitch for breaking up was that she saw a train-wreck coming in the mid-term and wanted to end it before it happened. I saw the same problems, we agreed that it would be best if we broke it off before souring on each other.

She doesn't talk to me anymore, some days I go crazy with loneliness and some days I wish I'd fought harder/at all to stay together. But I'm still able to latch onto the knowledge that we thought it through back when we had clear heads and it was the right decision then and it's the right decision now. On one of those bad days, post-her deleting me from her Facebook I blocked her. Not because of any ill will just because I can't deal with it being accessible sometimes and no good comes of it being visible anyway. Again I wish it could be different, and I wish that my emotions didn't get the better of me but I accept that it has to be done.

It sounds like this girl likes you, and if she had her way she'd want to be with you, but if she can't deal with the reminders of her ex she can't deal with them. It won't be either of your faults, but sometimes no matter what you think, you're not going to be able to change how you feel and you just have to accept it and deal with it some other way.

EDIT: Something else that's worth noting is that in my experience reminders of exes are really strong sources of bad feelings, but they often start super strong and slowly go away naturally if you let them. If you give her enough space to think about you on her own terms then she might get used to the idea enough to give it a shot. Ultimately you can't force reminders of yourself on her it will likely only make it worse.
 
It's one of those scores where, all other things considered, you'd rather not have scored. Like, the regret far outweighed the pleasure, resulting in a net loss.

Bingo. It was terrible at every level.

And even if it wasn't, like I said, I had an exam the next day, which was exceptionally bad timing on my part.
 
Might be going to Comic Con in May, don't know if it's weird to start up conversations with attractive chicks over there if it seems that we have a fandom in common or something.

You really should! As someone who dreads ever getting involved with someone who doesn't share my geeky side I see any geeky con as a great place to meet people. Don't just limit yourself to the top shelf attractiveness though, be open as almost anyone there might make a good friend or partner.
 
It turns out that the self-checkout attendant at the supermarket in town that I see basically every day now lives nearby and catches my bus. Ended up getting the same 9:30pm bus home tonight, she's probably getting the restraining order drawn up as we speak <.<
 
It turns out that the self-checkout attendant at the supermarket in town that I see basically every day now lives nearby and catches my bus. Ended up getting the same 9:30pm bus home tonight, she's probably getting the restraining order drawn up as we speak <.<

Say hello the next time you see at the bus stop.
 
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