So I just went on my girlfriends ipad....

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avaya said:
What you've gone through is quite a common occurrence OP.

Me and my ex-tried to salvage our relationship on 2 separate occasion over the space of 12months, in the end I found out she had been lying profusely about almost everything for over 2 years. She had a coke problem (my last thread was about this lol), was secretly and then not so secretly webcamming and cheated on me with 2 guys I know about (I she still refuses to admit) and probably more.

The second time I found out is when we had come back from a great weekend in Milan, I had found out she was texting one of these guys all night while she was all over me saying how much she wanted this to work. II never brought it up. I don't know why. The guy's message read "Please drop me out and cuddle the dude next to you", so clearly he knew but she was still soliciting.

We land back in London and go out as it was a public holiday the next day, she's again falling over herself to be nice, she gives me her phone to call her Uber at the end of the night and lo an behold this guy then calls her on whatsapp. I lost my shit.

I was stupid enough to carry it on, she wanted to work on it, in the end she broke up with me not too long after that 2 months ago while pretending she wasn't cheating, I found out she was started seeing that same guy again. Which she denied in most hilarious fashion. Even had the gall to ask to be friends and not lose contact. Might do a thread on it to get some final closure, it was a batshit insane ride over 2 years. I have seen some shit.

Some people are unable to control themselves, I don't hate her but she was in hindsight cray and I only let it continue at first because she was insanely hot, like 11/10. But that kind of emotional damage leads you to being a hostage and the last 6months of it were some of the most emotionally draining of my life and I'm probably not really over it still.

Life lesson OP. No point confronting her, just bounce. Don't let her paint this as you being unreasonable or cray. It's 100% her fault.
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Bruh, unacceptable. Never put that shit on a pedestal. Glad to hear you're alright.
 
OCD Guy said:
I've not packed anything.

I have a hell of a lot of stuff here and I drive a smart car so I'm not fitting anything in that.

We rent a flat, one that neither of us could afford by ourselves, we're both on the lease and went half each on the deposit, rent advance and fees etc.

The lease still has about 6 months on it, I've never tried cancelling a lease, not even sure if you can. But I don't want to be here, and I don't want to pay each month if I'm not.

But I don't want to mess up my credit, and I'll struggle with a reference to get a new place if I don't pay.

So until I call the letting agents tomorrow I won't know what I can do, or where I stand.

I'm hoping I can pay some sort of penalty fee and just get out of the agreement, I'll then go back to my parents.
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Ok, listen OP. I guess you won't be able to get out of the lease easily. Pls check your leasing contract if it is possible to determine a new tenant who will then sign an all new leasing contract. If yes, visit a real estate portal and put your flat online.
 
Not said:
41 pages.

It's just a dick, man. Your GF is human. Is she straight-up fucking some other dude? Did she say she doesn't want to try to make your relationship work anymore? Has talking to each other about your secret impulses and desires been a big factor in your relationship thus far?

Sucks that this snuck up on you, but yeah.
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For me though it's more than just a dick.

She has been having sexual conversations with someone behind my back.

It's not a small deal to her either, if it was she'd have opened up to me, instead of a fake look of surprise and hesitation in her voice when I confronted her.

I appreciate I went straight it but honestly I was sitting there looking at her out the corner of the eye as she smiled while staring at her ipad and I snapped.

For me the trust is broken, whether she's had sex or not is not relevant, I don't think it's right to have the sort of conversation that she had when you're in a relationship.
 
Ardenyal said:
Seems like he's going to do just fine without her.
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Looking at the photos he's a very good looking dude, in shape, clean cut etc. Obviously he was happy where he was, but it's gotta be comforting to know he can get back out there with confidence.

That being said I had a friend whose gf left him for another guy. Hes a good looking guy, but events like this can really crush your confidence. It's going to be a process but it DOES get better.
 
OCD Guy said:
For me though it's more than just a dick.

She has been having sexual conversations with someone behind my back.

It's not a small deal to her either, if it was she'd have opened up to me, instead of a fake look of surprise and hesitation in her voice when I confronted her.

I appreciate I went straight it but honestly I was sitting there looking at her out the corner of the eye as she smiled while staring at her ipad and I snapped.

For me the trust is broken, whether she's had sex or not is not relevant, I don't think it's right to have the sort of conversation that she had when you're in a relationship.
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Ignore him OP, he either hasn't had a relationship or is in a very unhealthy one.
 
OCD Guy said:
I've not packed anything.

I have a hell of a lot of stuff here and I drive a smart car so I'm not fitting anything in that.

We rent a flat, one that neither of us could afford by ourselves, we're both on the lease and went half each on the deposit, rent advance and fees etc.

The lease still has about 6 months on it, I've never tried cancelling a lease, not even sure if you can. But I don't want to be here, and I don't want to pay each month if I'm not.

But I don't want to mess up my credit, and I'll struggle with a reference to get a new place if I don't pay.

So until I call the letting agents tomorrow I won't know what I can do, or where I stand.

I'm hoping I can pay some sort of penalty fee and just get out of the agreement, I'll then go back to my parents.
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My only advice at this point is to secure as much of your personal shit as possible. The moment you leave I expect your shit to have a sudden accident. Trust me on this.
 
OP get your shit out of the apartment before she comes back. Rent a storage unit or find a friend with an empty bedroom.





Full abort status.



e: especially that OLED, damn.
 
avaya said:
What you've gone through is quite a common occurrence OP.

Me and my ex-tried to salvage our relationship on 2 separate occasion over the space of 12months, in the end I found out she had been lying profusely about almost everything for over 2 years. She had a coke problem (my last thread was about this lol), was secretly and then not so secretly webcamming and cheated on me with 2 guys I know about (I she still refuses to admit) and probably more.

The second time I found out is when we had come back from a great weekend in Milan, I had found out she was texting one of these guys all night while she was all over me saying how much she wanted this to work. II never brought it up. I don't know why. The guy's message read "Please drop me out and cuddle the dude next to you", so clearly he knew but she was still soliciting.

We land back in London and go out as it was a public holiday the next day, she's again falling over herself to be nice, she gives me her phone to call her Uber at the end of the night and lo an behold this guy then calls her on whatsapp. I lost my shit.

I was stupid enough to carry it on, she wanted to work on it, in the end she broke up with me not too long after that 2 months ago while pretending she wasn't cheating, I found out she was started seeing that same guy again. Which she denied in most hilarious fashion. Even had the gall to ask to be friends and not lose contact. Might do a thread on it to get some final closure, it was a batshit insane ride over 2 years. I have seen some shit.

Some people are unable to control themselves, I don't hate her but she was in hindsight cray and I only let it continue at first because she was insanely hot, like 11/10. But that kind of emotional damage leads you to being a hostage and the last 6months of it were some of the most emotionally draining of my life and I'm probably not really over it still.

Life lesson OP. No point confronting her, just bounce. Don't let her paint this as you being unreasonable or cray. It's 100% her fault.
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God damn what a roller coaster. Was the guy her dealer or some shit. Wow
 
Off-Topic: I am willing to put money on the fact I could correctly identify 90% of members age range just by their replies in this thread.

On-Topic: OP, you have handled this whole situation incredibly well all things considered. Especially since more than a few members have said some absolutely immature and hurtful things all in the name of "humor" with no regard whatsoever that there are two humans involved. In fact I would say you are a hero for handling it all so well.

Best of luck moving on.
 
DirtyLarry said:
Off-Topic: I am willing to put money on the fact I could correctly identify 90% of members age range just by their replies in this thread.

On-Topic: OP, you have handled this whole situation incredibly well all things considered. Especially since more than a few members have said some absolutely immature and hurtful things all in the name of "humor" with no regard whatsoever that there are two humans involved. In fact I would say you are a hero for handling it all so well.

Best of luck moving on.
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You can easily see the breakdown here & there, but I think OP is in on the humour, which makes it a lot better. Humour is important in situations like this.
 
OCD Guy said:
For me though it's more than just a dick.

She has been having sexual conversations with someone behind my back.

It's not a small deal to her either, if it was she'd have opened up to me, instead of a fake look of surprise and hesitation in her voice when I confronted her.

I appreciate I went straight it but honestly I was sitting there looking at her out the corner of the eye as she smiled while staring at her ipad and I snapped.

For me the trust is broken, whether she's had sex or not is not relevant, I don't think it's right to have the sort of conversation that she had when you're in a relationship.
Click to expand...

Trust is broken, man. As soon as she fancied that dick, it was game over. You are doing you, which is the right thing. It's nice to see someone determined not to be walked on over. Do you.
 
I can relate to the OP for sure, been cheated on 3 times, different women all with ex bfs or past friends. First two times i was very civil, 3rd time I said some really angry things, best to just do a bunk, fresh start, there are plenty of nice women out there who don't cheat, I'm sure one will come along somewhere down the line.
 
leases often have a six-month break clause, irrespective of the actual term agreed.

Not always but usually. If that doesn't apply it's unlikely they will let you out early. Possibly they would if you could find someone to take your place.

Other than that, fuck it. Just go, Let her deal with the agents. If it gets gnarly you can always move back.
 
Just caught up with the thread and op, you have some serious mind games coming your way from her from what you described of her. She will either do 1 of 2 things.1 is come home crying her eyes out begging you to forgive her and tell you it was a mistake and it will never happen again but it was your fault because she didn't feel love from you or you pushed her away some way blah, blah, blah. The other is pretty much the same as above minus the crying and apology because your the devil and she is an innocent lol.

The best thing you can do that at the same time will make her more pissed off is to grab everything important from the flat (ask friends to help you if you can), post the keys through the letterbox and block her completely so she can't get into your head. Luckily it doesn't seem like you have any serious ties other than the lease to her. Give yourself a couple of months to get back on your feet housing wise, emotionally and you will be fine.
 
OP.

giphy.gif
 
DirtyLarry said:
Off-Topic: I am willing to put money on the fact I could correctly identify 90% of members age range just by their replies in this thread.

On-Topic: OP, you have handled this whole situation incredibly well all things considered. Especially since more than a few members have said some absolutely immature and hurtful things all in the name of "humor" with no regard whatsoever that there are two humans involved. In fact I would say you are a hero for handling it all so well.

Best of luck moving on.
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I would LOVE to see that. It's amazing how many "self-aware" relationship experts are here to act like the better person.
 
Not said:
41 pages.

It's just a dick, man. Your GF is human. Is she straight-up fucking some other dude? Did she say she doesn't want to try to make your relationship work anymore? Has talking to each other about your secret impulses and desires been a big factor in your relationship thus far?

Sucks that this snuck up on you, but yeah.
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mkenyon said:
Hey, look, an adult!
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how do some of you think that looking at other guys dicks and flirting is OK?
 
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