So I just went on my girlfriends ipad....

Status
Not open for further replies.
Not said:
41 pages.

It's just a dick, man. Your GF is human. Is she straight-up fucking some other dude? Did she say she doesn't want to try to make your relationship work anymore? Has talking to each other about your secret impulses and desires been a big factor in your relationship thus far?

Sucks that this snuck up on you, but yeah.
Click to expand...

Impressive display of maturity.
is how you probably saw that in your head
 
mkenyon said:
jfc putting words in my mouth

She is reacting emotionally because it's really soon, and she's really embarrassed that she was caught.

Polyamory is not an attempt to fix the cheating, but it is a possible avenue for some people if their partner is just incapable of being faithful. If that's not up their alley or in the realm of possibilities, then then can feel free to disregard, which I said in the post you quoted. It's a side point, and not central to the overall advice I was trying to give.

All I am suggesting is that they sit down with the person and have a talk about it if they love them enough to make it work.

Let the emotions settle after the initial confrontation and have a discussion like adults rather than running away. Not everyone is capable of rational thought and clear communication in moments of panic/stress.
Click to expand...

What words am I putting in your mouth? You suggested as a potential option some sort of poly setup, I think it's a terrible idea - you move into polyamorous relationships when things are good, or you start in them, you basically should NEVER try to fix a relationship, especially one where someone cheated, with polyamory.

Aside from that terrible advice, everything else you said was terrible as well. Subtly implying that the sex life needs to improve so this doesn't happen. Ignoring the completely disrespectful attitude on display here. The burden is on HER to try and repair this (which I don't think she should do anyway) - burdening him with being the one to repair this relationship after this is terrible.

Not said:
41 pages.

It's just a dick, man. Your GF is human. Is she straight-up fucking some other dude? Did she say she doesn't want to try to make your relationship work anymore? Has talking to each other about your secret impulses and desires been a big factor in your relationship thus far?

Sucks that this snuck up on you, but yeah.
Click to expand...

We can ignore the dick. The hiding stuff and going behind his back, the inability to even discuss her monumental fuck up, and the continual disrespect she showed him by trying to make this about her, is to me, significantly worse than a dick on an ipad. She needs to be an adult, if she had an explanation, she had her chance to give it. If she cared about him, when he was obviously extremely hurt by her terrible actions, she had her chance to show it.

Instead, she hid and ran and got mad at him. There is no repairing this, and it will be really hard to even talk about this with her, from what she's shown. She had her chance to be an adult, to try and fix her mistake - it's not on the OP to do so.
 
OCD Guy said:
Charming text I have just received from her friend.

So no prizes for guessing where she is.
Click to expand...

Deary me. Enjoy the moral high ground buddy. God knows you deserve it, sincerely.

I'm sure you'll go through waves of feelings over the coming days, most of them negative, but I think you'll come through this stronger than before and thankful that you dodged a bullet.
 
FlashbladeGAF said:
OP had day off
OP's GF left her iPad at home
OP used iPad to browse (GF lets him use it)
OP opened up iPad to see a raunchy conversation with some dude and his GF leading up to her receiving a dick pick

1600+ posts of great "level headed" advice.
OP and GF share an apartment
OP decides to wait till tomorrow to confront the GF until after he gets more details on how to get out of the lease.

GF comes home

OP pulls a Lerooooooy Jenkiiiins and posts this:






GAF grabs popcorn
Click to expand...

It's been quite a ride.

601.gif
 
No surprise she holed herself up, she is trying to think of the best way out of this. It's likely going to be one of these 3 things:

1. Blame you
2. Pack her shit and leave without saying anything substantive
3. Desperate mea culpa, it was a mistake I'm so so sorry, etc.


Good job so far though OP, avoidance was not going to get things over with.
 
msdstc said:
So apparently you you've never been in a serious relationship.
Click to expand...
17 years and counting. My baby is due in December too! Pretty hyped.
Cabbagehead said:
Stop acting like you know it all.
Click to expand...
I'm not, but I'm pretty confident that I do know more than a lot of the people posting reactionary "bail out" type posts. Knowing "more", instead of "it all" is perhaps pedantic.

But still, this type of shit shouldn't be over until a rational and reasonable conversation can be had. If it can't at all, then yeah, relationship should probably end due to communication issues.

Just gonna say this one more time: Cheating is not okay, but people can, do, and will make mistakes. At the end of the day, it's sex, and not the end of the world.
Kinitari said:
What words am I putting in your mouth? You suggested as a potential option some sort of poly setup, I think it's a terrible idea - you move into polyamorous relationships when things are good, or you start in them, you basically should NEVER try to fix a relationship, especially one where someone cheated, with polyamory.

Aside from that terrible advice, everything else you said was terrible as well. Subtly implying that the sex life needs to improve so this doesn't happen. Ignoring the completely disrespectful attitude on display here. The burden is on HER to try and repair this (which I don't think she should do anyway) - burdening him with being the one to repair this relationship after this is terrible.
Click to expand...
You might be right on the Polyamory thing. That might be an avenue to explore further on. I cede there.

However, the burden is never on a single party in the relationship to fix it. If both people aren't trying, it will never be fixed. Rebuilding that trust and moving forward with a stronger relationship takes two adults, not one.

She is in the moral wrong, don't mistake what I'm saying for condoning cheating. But putting the burden of fixing it on a single person is not a viable option for a functioning relationship.
 
Cabbagehead said:
God damn what a roller coaster. Was the guy her dealer or some shit. Wow
Click to expand...

She had free coke, so wasn't that. Well how could I know, she was a habitual liar. I will do a Part II update soon to that thread, honestly I was so stupid to trust her.

Not going to do her pics because though she thinks she's careful a quick reverse image search will bring up her insta and previous public pics of us together in NYC.
 
So here is the run down for people
  • OP Has a 55" OLED TV and High End Gaming PC.
  • OP Co-rents a property with his cock hungry GF
  • OP casually uses the iPad and once he unlocks it he sees a conversation in which the GF has been getting dick picks from another guy and suggesting she wants to bounce on it.
  • OP Diligently saves the conversation and emails himself.
  • GAF spends an entire work day and 28 pages giving mostly great advice on how to deal with the situation
  • OP Comes up with a plan to start removing his expensive items from the property during the day tomorrow before GF returns home at which point he will confront her using GAF's sages advice
  • GF comes home and quickly grabs the iPad so she cant slyly see some more strange salami.
  • OP Is overcome with rage and quips the timeless words "fancy seeing some more dick?"
  • GF freaks the fuck out and retorts "OH MY GOD, WHAT IS YOUR FUCKIN PROBLEM"
  • GF runs to bathroom to contemplate how badly she fucked up (and/or) get some more of that big ass motobike dick
  • OP talks to a door for a bit
  • GF comes out of bathroom and pushes OP out the way and leaves
  • OP is now alone
  • GF is out in the wild, maybe getting taken to O town by Big Dig Mcgee.
  • A NEW PLAYER HAS ENTERED THE GAME - GF's friend sends OP the eloquently worded prose ""Who do u fink u r goin dwn her stuff u cunt""
 
OCD Guy said:
Charming text I have just received from her friend.

So no prizes for guessing where she is.
Click to expand...
... I know this isn't correct but Jesus, what kind of uneducated fuck not only defends her friend like that but types a serious message like that. Fucking Christ.

-edit- defending your friend is good unless they've cheated or something, I would never defend a friend for doing that.
 
Damn, I'm so invested in how this turns out.

I don't have too much advice to offer other than do not let her make you feel like the bad guy. If you find your thoughts veering in that direction, give yourself a slap and acknowledge that you're being an idiot. Even if she somehow manages to come up with a justification that you can understand on some level, that doesn't mean you should start beating yourself up about it. Regardless of the rationalisation, she chose to start looking elsewhere without first breaking it off or talking to you about issues in the relationship, and that shit is not on. Period.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

City Tree just fell on my car.
2
50
648
Trilobit replied
iPadOS 26 turns your iPad into a Mac (almost)
2
53
340
RetroGamingUK replied
I decided on my next major hobby/project: I want to learn 5 languages.
2
82
3K
Cfh123 replied
Forgot that i had my phone in my bathboxers and went swimming in the ocean
39
2K
ReBurn replied
Random: anyone know why I suddenly can't access my Apple tv subscription on my devices?
7
478
jorgejjvr replied
Top Bottom