So I just went on my girlfriends ipad....

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Yeah, it's gonna be some rough months. I just went through 6 months of pain knowing my ex is now together with her ex, but I kept myself occupied and found new interests, and now I'm just super glad that I kicked her out of my apartment.

So don't worry. Accept all of the feelings coming up inside you and always comfort yourself and be good to yourself, because you deserve it.

And you seem to do all the right things, so keep that going. And thanks for the update, really appreciate it.
 
OCD Guy said:
So I didn't go to work today, I didn't go to bed unitl 4am so there was no chance I was getting up at 7am and able to do a full day at work.

Contacted my manager and explained the situation (not in detail obviously) and he was quite understanding.

Anyway my first point of call was to contact the estate agent, it turns out there is a break clause, so that's great right?

Well actually it's not because as I'm in a joint tenancy my ex would need to agree to it, but we've not spoken since last night when she was in the flat (I didn't reply to the text)

At around 11am I hear the door open and pull, the chain is still on the door so hence the loud noise, my stomach turns a bit, as I'm walking to the door I hear "Open the door you fucking cunt".

Oh good it's her friend. There's a lot of shouting, and I tell my ex that I don't want her friend in here, and if she want's me to remove the chain she'll have to be alone.

Understandably I didn't want to have to deal with a loud mouthy idiot shouting her mouth off at me.

My ex barely responds, all it is her friend shouting her mouth off. Saying things along the lines of "You can't lock her out, this ain't your flat" So there's not much I can do, as she's not the type that will calmly talk, and when I try to respond she just shouts all over me (you can imagine the type) so I just sit down in the front room until they give up. This must have lasted for about 30 minutes.

Once they go I close the door and put my key in the door, this way she can't even open the door, as putting a key through the other side won't work when there's a key already in the door.

I've not heard anything since that happened. What I've done my end is what most people end up doing, calling mummy and asking for help. So they're coming round in a few hours to start removing some of my stuff. They can't fit the furniture in their car, but I'm going to call a few removal guys, or possibly rent a van, need to see what's cheaper.

Obviously I can't lock her out of the flat, but I can take all the furniture out as I'm the one that paid for it. Literally paid for the essentials, the bed, sofa and then things like tv, pc etc are mine anyway (she has no interest in those things apart from the tv)

We have a dog (the chihuahua cross in my avatar before) which we paid half each for so not sure what we would do about that.

I'll feel more comfortable when my parents arrive, I know it makes me sound like a pussy but they won't mouth off, they're pretty fake and all polite around parents. They certainly won't shout and swear.

So that's where I'm at now.
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Damn her friend sounds like the biggest bitch in the world.
Who cares if you called your parents man you need the fuck out
She will agree to leave once she sees there is no furniture in the house. She made her bed, let that loud mouth trouble maker (which probably encouraged her to talk to that guy) take her in.
 
DrSlek said:
I've seen people fight for a dog they didn't care about just to spite the other person.
Click to expand...

I'm concerned about this too, and hopefully it doesn't happen here, but if he thinks she might let me have the dog and if he cares for it, I think he should try to get it.
 
OCD Guy said:
So I didn't go to work today, I didn't go to bed unitl 4am so there was no chance I was getting up at 7am and able to do a full day at work.

Contacted my manager and explained the situation (not in detail obviously) and he was quite understanding.

Anyway my first point of call was to contact the estate agent, it turns out there is a break clause, so that's great right?

Well actually it's not because as I'm in a joint tenancy my ex would need to agree to it, but we've not spoken since last night when she was in the flat (I didn't reply to the text)

At around 11am I hear the door open and pull, the chain is still on the door so hence the loud noise, my stomach turns a bit, as I'm walking to the door I hear "Open the door you fucking cunt".

Oh good it's her friend. There's a lot of shouting, and I tell my ex that I don't want her friend in here, and if she want's me to remove the chain she'll have to be alone.

Understandably I didn't want to have to deal with a loud mouthy idiot shouting her mouth off at me.

My ex barely responds, all it is her friend shouting her mouth off. Saying things along the lines of "You can't lock her out, this ain't your flat" So there's not much I can do, as she's not the type that will calmly talk, and when I try to respond she just shouts all over me (you can imagine the type) so I just sit down in the front room until they give up. This must have lasted for about 30 minutes.

Once they go I close the door and put my key in the door, this way she can't even open the door, as putting a key through the other side won't work when there's a key already in the door.

I've not heard anything since that happened. What I've done my end is what most people end up doing, calling mummy and asking for help. So they're coming round in a few hours to start removing some of my stuff. They can't fit the furniture in their car, but I'm going to call a few removal guys, or possibly rent a van, need to see what's cheaper.

Obviously I can't lock her out of the flat, but I can take all the furniture out as I'm the one that paid for it. Literally paid for the essentials, the bed, sofa and then things like tv, pc etc are mine anyway (she has no interest in those things apart from the tv)

We have a dog (the chihuahua cross in my avatar before) which we paid half each for so not sure what we would do about that.

I'll feel more comfortable when my parents arrive, I know it makes me sound like a pussy but they won't mouth off, they're pretty fake and all polite around parents. They certainly won't shout and swear.

So that's where I'm at now.
Click to expand...

Smart move. Pack up as much as you can now. Honestly anything i paid half om id just let her have unless its something vital so it really depends how much you want the dog.

She will be back with a dude later so the quicker you get your shit gone the better.
 
You're not a pussy OP, you're going through some effed up crap right now. It's perfectly normal to want supportive people around you at a time like this.
 
OCD Guy said:
So I didn't go to work today, I didn't go to bed unitl 4am so there was no chance I was getting up at 7am and able to do a full day at work.

Contacted my manager and explained the situation (not in detail obviously) and he was quite understanding.

Anyway my first point of call was to contact the estate agent, it turns out there is a break clause, so that's great right?

Well actually it's not because as I'm in a joint tenancy my ex would need to agree to it, but we've not spoken since last night when she was in the flat (I didn't reply to the text)

At around 11am I hear the door open and pull, the chain is still on the door so hence the loud noise, my stomach turns a bit, as I'm walking to the door I hear "Open the door you fucking cunt".

Oh good it's her friend. There's a lot of shouting, and I tell my ex that I don't want her friend in here, and if she want's me to remove the chain she'll have to be alone.

Understandably I didn't want to have to deal with a loud mouthy idiot shouting her mouth off at me.

My ex barely responds, all it is her friend shouting her mouth off. Saying things along the lines of "You can't lock her out, this ain't your flat" So there's not much I can do, as she's not the type that will calmly talk, and when I try to respond she just shouts all over me (you can imagine the type) so I just sit down in the front room until they give up. This must have lasted for about 30 minutes.

Once they go I close the door and put my key in the door, this way she can't even open the door, as putting a key through the other side won't work when there's a key already in the door.

I've not heard anything since that happened. What I've done my end is what most people end up doing, calling mummy and asking for help. So they're coming round in a few hours to start removing some of my stuff. They can't fit the furniture in their car, but I'm going to call a few removal guys, or possibly rent a van, need to see what's cheaper.

Obviously I can't lock her out of the flat, but I can take all the furniture out as I'm the one that paid for it. Literally paid for the essentials, the bed, sofa and then things like tv, pc etc are mine anyway (she has no interest in those things apart from the tv)

We have a dog (the chihuahua cross in my avatar before) which we paid half each for so not sure what we would do about that.

I'll feel more comfortable when my parents arrive, I know it makes me sound like a pussy but they won't mouth off, they're pretty fake and all polite around parents. They certainly won't shout and swear.

So that's where I'm at now.
Click to expand...

Man her friend sounds like a b*tch. Just move out with the furniture. Maybe your GF will have calmed down in a few days to discuss the splitting arrangements.
 
Her friend sounds absolutely vile. I hope you manage to get your stuff out before she does something stupid (like bringing the 'lads' round).
 
OCD Guy said:
Contacted my manager and explained the situation (not in detail obviously) and he was quite understanding.

Anyway my first point of call was to contact the estate agent, it turns out there is a break clause, so that's great right?

Well actually it's not because as I'm in a joint tenancy my ex would need to agree to it, but we've not spoken since last night when she was in the flat (I didn't reply to the text)
Click to expand...

If your flat has two bedrooms, have you asked about subletting?

Make it clear she's either paying for the whole thing, or getting a tenant. You're not paying.
 
Flintty said:
Her friend sounds absolutely vile. I hope you manage to get your stuff out before she does something stupid (like bringing the 'lads' round).
Click to expand...

sometimes its kinda true that peoples friends are a reflection of themselves. But instead of being nasty and loud the GF maybe nasty on the inside based on how all this is happening.
 
Good news about the break clause. She would probably agree as she can't afford it on her own either.

I can recommend a reasonably priced and hard working removal van and man if you need it?
 
Flintty said:
Her friend sounds absolutely vile. I hope you manage to get your stuff out before she does something stupid (like bringing the 'lads' round).
Click to expand...

She is. I've never been keen on her. She's really got a mouth on her, she argues wherever she goes.

Like on a night out she'll end up in an argument with someone. I've seen her many times throw a drink on a guy for example.

The thing is she's the type of person that will give it out, but if someone reacts she'll be the first to complain.

She also exagerrates a lot, that's one of the reasons I'm not really reacting much, or even responding, because she'll twist things. I was only talking to my ex through the door, obviously her friend was just shouting all over me, but any direct conversation with her would have just given her an excuse to keep mouthing off.
 
OCD Guy said:
So I didn't go to work today, I didn't go to bed unitl 4am so there was no chance I was getting up at 7am and able to do a full day at work.

Contacted my manager and explained the situation (not in detail obviously) and he was quite understanding.

Anyway my first point of call was to contact the estate agent, it turns out there is a break clause, so that's great right?

Well actually it's not because as I'm in a joint tenancy my ex would need to agree to it, but we've not spoken since last night when she was in the flat (I didn't reply to the text)

At around 11am I hear the door open and pull, the chain is still on the door so hence the loud noise, my stomach turns a bit, as I'm walking to the door I hear "Open the door you fucking cunt".

Oh good it's her friend. There's a lot of shouting, and I tell my ex that I don't want her friend in here, and if she want's me to remove the chain she'll have to be alone.

Understandably I didn't want to have to deal with a loud mouthy idiot shouting her mouth off at me.

My ex barely responds, all it is her friend shouting her mouth off. Saying things along the lines of "You can't lock her out, this ain't your flat" So there's not much I can do, as she's not the type that will calmly talk, and when I try to respond she just shouts all over me (you can imagine the type) so I just sit down in the front room until they give up. This must have lasted for about 30 minutes.

Once they go I close the door and put my key in the door, this way she can't even open the door, as putting a key through the other side won't work when there's a key already in the door.

I've not heard anything since that happened. What I've done my end is what most people end up doing, calling mummy and asking for help. So they're coming round in a few hours to start removing some of my stuff. They can't fit the furniture in their car, but I'm going to call a few removal guys, or possibly rent a van, need to see what's cheaper.

Obviously I can't lock her out of the flat, but I can take all the furniture out as I'm the one that paid for it. Literally paid for the essentials, the bed, sofa and then things like tv, pc etc are mine anyway (she has no interest in those things apart from the tv)

We have a dog (the chihuahua cross in my avatar before) which we paid half each for so not sure what we would do about that.

I'll feel more comfortable when my parents arrive, I know it makes me sound like a pussy but they won't mouth off, they're pretty fake and all polite around parents. They certainly won't shout and swear.

So that's where I'm at now.
Click to expand...

I understand your feelings and the fact that you don't want to deal with her and her friend, but locking her out of the flat that you co-lease is not really a good idea. An unnecessary escalation.
 
platocplx said:
sometimes its kinda true that peoples friends are a reflection of themselves. But instead of being nasty and loud the GF maybe nasty on the inside based on how all this is happening.
Click to expand...

I mean she was looking at pictures of some other dude's dick. I don't think there is a maybe here. Dude is a great person all around if the way he behaves and responds is anything to go by. Girl took him for granted.
 
OCD Guy said:
So I didn't go to work today, I didn't go to bed unitl 4am so there was no chance I was getting up at 7am and able to do a full day at work.

Contacted my manager and explained the situation (not in detail obviously) and he was quite understanding.

Anyway my first point of call was to contact the estate agent, it turns out there is a break clause, so that's great right?

Well actually it's not because as I'm in a joint tenancy my ex would need to agree to it, but we've not spoken since last night when she was in the flat (I didn't reply to the text)

At around 11am I hear the door open and pull, the chain is still on the door so hence the loud noise, my stomach turns a bit, as I'm walking to the door I hear "Open the door you fucking cunt".

Oh good it's her friend. There's a lot of shouting, and I tell my ex that I don't want her friend in here, and if she want's me to remove the chain she'll have to be alone.

Understandably I didn't want to have to deal with a loud mouthy idiot shouting her mouth off at me.

My ex barely responds, all it is her friend shouting her mouth off. Saying things along the lines of "You can't lock her out, this ain't your flat" So there's not much I can do, as she's not the type that will calmly talk, and when I try to respond she just shouts all over me (you can imagine the type) so I just sit down in the front room until they give up. This must have lasted for about 30 minutes.

Once they go I close the door and put my key in the door, this way she can't even open the door, as putting a key through the other side won't work when there's a key already in the door.

I've not heard anything since that happened. What I've done my end is what most people end up doing, calling mummy and asking for help. So they're coming round in a few hours to start removing some of my stuff. They can't fit the furniture in their car, but I'm going to call a few removal guys, or possibly rent a van, need to see what's cheaper.

Obviously I can't lock her out of the flat, but I can take all the furniture out as I'm the one that paid for it. Literally paid for the essentials, the bed, sofa and then things like tv, pc etc are mine anyway (she has no interest in those things apart from the tv)

We have a dog (the chihuahua cross in my avatar before) which we paid half each for so not sure what we would do about that.

I'll feel more comfortable when my parents arrive, I know it makes me sound like a pussy but they won't mouth off, they're pretty fake and all polite around parents. They certainly won't shout and swear.

So that's where I'm at now.
Click to expand...

Fuck man, I hate the loudmoth friend who's on a warpath for your ex. Avoid that shit like the plague. Tell her she's not involved in this, this is a matter between your (ex-)GF and you. She's not in the picture. Tel her that you appriciate her support for your (ex-)GF, but she needs to back off and let you two figure this shit out.
 
KingSnake said:
I understand your feelings and the fact that you don't want to deal with her and her friend, but locking her out of the flat that you co-lease is not really a good idea. An unnecessary escalation.
Click to expand...

I think he's ok with letter his ex-gf in. Her friend is the problem. She sounds potentially dangerous in a situation like that. I wouldn't let her in either.
 
Man her friend sounds like a real piece of work, If I was your best friend OP (and a girl) I wouldn't mind bitch slapping her for you.

Try to be quick and smart, get the stuff you value the most out first and if you're done and she ain't back take the dog, actually try to take the dog regardless, he/she doesn't need to suffer and your ex is a loose cannon at this point, especially with that bitch of a friend next to her.
 
SunhiLegend said:
https://streamable.com/edcz
Click to expand...
wow LMAO.. This is fucking amazing. Trying not to laugh at work. Dude, you are fantastic. I hope you're actually an animator because you definitely have the vision to make it interesting. Your gifs are always hilarious but this one is something else.

OP, you just made a legendary thread mate. It sucks about what happened, but this unfortunate event has brought a lot laughter and fun to a lot of fucking people here on gaf. I know that might not mean much, but thank you regardless. Unfortunately misfortune and misery adds for amazing fun to people you tell it to. My friends & I pretty "much" lost two days of vacation the last two days due to misfortune and unfortunate circumstances. When I was telling the stories of what happened, the people we met were laughing their asses off, one was on the hill/ground laughing for an hour straight. So at least you are bringing smiles to other people :) As for you, from what I have seen you have a good head on about this. Plus based on your pic, you look like a Spanish supermodel, so you shouldn't have too much of a problem getting out there. Throw in a sympathy "my girlfriend was looking at some guy she cheated with's dicks while I'm in the same room" and my word.

I also find it fucking hilarious that there were over a thousand posts on how to handle it and what to say/do, and your first line is you fancy some dicks? I can't even judge though, some sarcastic shit is something I'd say as well. I don't know what is happening with the lease since I can't follow up on every comment, but hoping the landlord gives you a break. Good luck OP, and thanks for making this topic.
 
names2hard4you said:
What a shitty situation but you did well. This friend of hers is doing the painfully obvious thing by trying to frame you as the bad guy here.
Click to expand...

Yeah, very frustrating when this shit happens and they have a wild mate shouting the odds. You did well, OP. Time for some PS4 while you wait for the rents!
 
Well handled OP. If she wanted to chat or sort anything out, she would have told her friend to walk.

Don't leave the house, I guarantee you now that you'll have some of your stuff taken or smashed. Start packing up and as soon as your parents get their, THEN ring your ex and tell her you are taking whats yours and she's welcome to come and get anything she needs, otherwise, she is well within her rights to call the police and get them involved.

You might be able to get a removal van of some sort at this time of day, or maybe your old man can get on on the way to yours? Get everything in the living room and pack it up. If you can't get a van in time, leave things like the bed, cupboards etc for another day. They are easily replaceable if your ex does something.

As for the dog, do you want it? If not, leave it for the ex to sort out. Just don't leave it on it's own obviously.

EDIT, can you get any mates over too?
 
You did good OP, I respect your handling of this unfortunate situation. Her friend is likely the dreg who radicalized your GF into the unfaithful person she has become, encouraging her to sext and whatnot. You are doing the right thing, don't ever look back.
 
Moff said:
what did your ex say? what was her mood? angry? sad? aggressive?
Click to expand...

I couldn't really tell her mood, it certainly wasn't aggressive, all I could hear was her friend shouting.

When I told her that if she wanted to come in she'd have to be alone, her Friend just started shouting over me.

Honestly I think she'll be feeling regret now, even though her friend is telling her shit like fuck him, you can do better or whatever. I know she'll be worried, as she was living a good life, a life that she wouldn't have been able to have alone.

And she's gonna feel absolutely sick when she finds out there's nothing in the flat, she won't be able to buy furniture or anything, and as I said she can't afford the rent by herself.
 
DoctorWho said:
I think he's ok with letter his ex-gf in. Her friend is the problem. She sounds potentially dangerous in a situation like that. I wouldn't let her in either.
Click to expand...

I understand that, but still doesn't make it better. Just ignore her bitchy friend completely.
 
Busty said:
Wait. Did we/OP establish that this girl was indeed cheating on him or that she was messaging dudes anyway and that's a dealbreaker?
Click to expand...

He feels, reasonably, that her sexting with the motorbike dude is a form of cheating. Whether anything happened beyond the sexting is unknown and at this point immaterial.
 
I don't really understand why this thread is so huge.

OP found out his missus was cheating, they had a mild at best confrontation, followed by another, and here we are?

It's the type of every day break up story you hear from your friends all the time.

I was hoping for some twists and shocks.
 
KingSnake said:
I understand your feelings and the fact that you don't want to deal with her and her friend, but locking her out of the flat that you co-lease is not really a good idea. An unnecessary escalation.
Click to expand...

I know that, and in theory it's great.

But if they had both stormed in her friend would have been shouting, all up in my face and likely started hitting stuff in the flat.
 
OCD Guy said:
So I didn't go to work today, I didn't go to bed unitl 4am so there was no chance I was getting up at 7am and able to do a full day at work.

Contacted my manager and explained the situation (not in detail obviously) and he was quite understanding.

Anyway my first point of call was to contact the estate agent, it turns out there is a break clause, so that's great right?

Well actually it's not because as I'm in a joint tenancy my ex would need to agree to it, but we've not spoken since last night when she was in the flat (I didn't reply to the text)

At around 11am I hear the door open and pull, the chain is still on the door so hence the loud noise, my stomach turns a bit, as I'm walking to the door I hear "Open the door you fucking cunt".

Oh good it's her friend. There's a lot of shouting, and I tell my ex that I don't want her friend in here, and if she want's me to remove the chain she'll have to be alone.

Understandably I didn't want to have to deal with a loud mouthy idiot shouting her mouth off at me.

My ex barely responds, all it is her friend shouting her mouth off. Saying things along the lines of "You can't lock her out, this ain't your flat" So there's not much I can do, as she's not the type that will calmly talk, and when I try to respond she just shouts all over me (you can imagine the type) so I just sit down in the front room until they give up. This must have lasted for about 30 minutes.

Once they go I close the door and put my key in the door, this way she can't even open the door, as putting a key through the other side won't work when there's a key already in the door.

I've not heard anything since that happened. What I've done my end is what most people end up doing, calling mummy and asking for help. So they're coming round in a few hours to start removing some of my stuff. They can't fit the furniture in their car, but I'm going to call a few removal guys, or possibly rent a van, need to see what's cheaper.

Obviously I can't lock her out of the flat, but I can take all the furniture out as I'm the one that paid for it. Literally paid for the essentials, the bed, sofa and then things like tv, pc etc are mine anyway (she has no interest in those things apart from the tv)

We have a dog (the chihuahua cross in my avatar before) which we paid half each for so not sure what we would do about that.

I'll feel more comfortable when my parents arrive, I know it makes me sound like a pussy but they won't mouth off, they're pretty fake and all polite around parents. They certainly won't shout and swear.

So that's where I'm at now.
Click to expand...
I'd recommend getting some of your best friends to help you out also. Move stuff, and maybe just talk it out mate. One of the best things you can do, assuming you have good best friends lol

Good luck
 
OCD Guy said:
She is. I've never been keen on her. She's really got a mouth on her, she argues wherever she goes.

Like on a night out she'll end up in an argument with someone. I've seen her many times throw a drink on a guy for example.

The thing is she's the type of person that will give it out, but if someone reacts she'll be the first to complain.

She also exagerrates a lot, that's one of the reasons I'm not really reacting much, or even responding, because she'll twist things. I was only talking to my ex through the door, obviously her friend was just shouting all over me, but any direct conversation with her would have just given her an excuse to keep mouthing off.
Click to expand...

I know the type only too well, plenty like that in the Portsmouth area where I'm from. Chavvy laddettes, vile.

Good luck dude.
 
Just spent my morning reading this at work. Wow.
Sucks for you, man. I've been in your shoes before.

OCD Guy said:
And she's gonna feel absolutely sick when she finds out there's nothing in the flat, she won't be able to buy furniture or anything, and as I said she can't afford the rent by herself.
Click to expand...

Beautiful.
 
OCD Guy said:
I know that, and in theory it's great.

But if they had both stormed in her friend would have been shouting, all up in my face and likely started hitting stuff in the flat.
Click to expand...

you were absolutely right not letting her friend in, apart from her obviously being dangerous it would have made it impossible to get anything done today
 
Good call. The mummy part made me laugh but it's perfectly understandable. In times like this some support is welcome. Most of my family is 3000 miles away so the feeling of helplessness is very familiar.

You'll be just fine though. In the end it's better for her to be exposed now then if/when things got even deeper. She doesn't deserve you and that's ok. Let her be the way he is just ss long as it's not around you.

Her friend is useless. One of them types who talks louder to probably make like she's more in the right.

Good luck but it already seems like you got this.
 
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