So I just went on my girlfriends ipad....

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I think getting her out of your life as quickly and easily as possible is a bigger win than making her look like an asshole in front of two people who already know she is lying. I say kudos on not starting some horror show dick pic shouting match in front of your mom.

I would change those locks though.
 
cilonen said:
I think OP has the gym situation on lock.
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Yeah lol...its beacuse "hit the gym" nowadays is practically a "focus on yourself" expression.
 
Literally the only thing I disagree with you here about is not changing the locks yet.

Causing a scene wasn't going to change the outcome of the situation. You know the reality and you're the one who has to look yourself in the mirror each morning. You don't owe anyone else a thing. When my ex-wife and I split, I was almost....serene? Just was at peace with the whole situation. Did it suck? Absolutely. But the sun still came up the next day and life moved forward.

Again, that said, change the locks-- for the protection of both of you. Let's say there's a duplicate key floating out there. Maybe she'd want to use it, maybe the friend, maybe someone completely unrelated-- regardless, it exposes you to unnecessary risk. You've done so extraordinarily well in your decision making to this point. Do the right thing and eliminate any potential trouble.
 
OCD Guy said:
I appreciate it's difficult to convey as no one here knows me, but I'm really introverted. I mean look at the facts I'm on a gaming forum and play games excessively in my spare time.

People that know me wouldn't be shocked at my reaction.

The biggest shock was me snapping last night while she had the ipad out. That alone would have suprised anyone that knows me. That's why she was shocked, and didn't know what to do.
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At least you know it about yourself, but you do really need to work on that before you get into another long term relationship. It is great that you can keep this stuff in check and not blow up, but to sit back and do nothing isn't good either. It will most likely just lead to situations like this happening again and again as people take advantage of you because you cant stand up for yourself.

You seem like a genuinely good person, so you cant let other people take advantage of that because then its all for naught.
 
I don't think you should have whipped out the convo, but I do think you should have articulated why this is happening. You are letting her walk all over you and you are getting nothing out of it. Stick up for yourself!

You cannot go into another relationship without handling that about yourself or this could repeat again.
 
Your ability to remain calm, or at the very least appear so, is admirable and I totally understand why you've restrained yourself from instigating unnecessary bickering. I'm a big proponent of choosing your battles wisely too. However, introverted or not, if this isn't the end of it and her lies about you start to get out of hand, you can't be afraid to use the evidence you have against her to defend yourself.

Hopefully the worst is over now and that won't be needed. Hang in there, OP. You da best!
 
OCD Guy said:
I appreciate it's difficult to convey as no one here knows me, but I'm really introverted. I mean look at the facts I'm on a gaming forum and play games excessively in my spare time.

People that know me wouldn't be shocked at my reaction.

The biggest shock was me snapping last night while she had the ipad out. That alone would have suprised anyone that knows me. That's why she was shocked, and didn't know what to do.
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Nothing wrong with being introverted. If anything, especially considering your circumstances, I respect you so much for not lashing out at all or being petty.

Move forward with what you've got and wipe all memory of her from your existence. You deserve better than this and will find what you're looking for in due time.

edit: I do agree with the people on the whole change the locks thing tho. Your safety is absolutely of the utmost importance.
 
KingSnake said:
Nuclear option is not so nuclear after a while. Especially in a world in which you can photoshop anything. If she spreads her bullshit and people buy her side of the story, him coming with these screenshots after the whole thing passed might not be so nuclear.

He should have shown the screenshots to her already, so she would know that he has that. Nothing else.
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Yeah and evidence is just going to shift her lies in another direction. Even if it's taken at face value, she'll spin it that her cheating was just a response to the abuse she's put up with from OP for months.. or whatever.

If people are willing to drop the tears and lie like that, particularly women... it's bad news. Even in court people eat that shit up, unfortunately.
 
In a couple of weeks he'll get a txt "I fink I only fancy ur dick :-("

Also: go savage and put the screenshot on Facebook. Remember to Blur the member.
 
dvlc2p.gif


Soon. It is inevitable.
 
Honestly, when she said you'd been seeing other people I'd have said "yeh, other peoples dick all over your conversations on the iPad with some rather intimate details spun in for good measure...."
 
LifEndz said:
Awful seems a bit harsh. She definitely has a lot of growing up to do.
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There's a difference between needing to mature and being an awful person. At the same time, they aren't mutually exclusive.

She's awful. She also needs to mature.
Mohonky said:
Honestly, when she said you'd been seeing other people I'd have said "yeh, other peoples dick all over your conversations on the iPad with some rather intimate details spun in for good measure...."
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He was a little bit of a pushover. Letting a crazy person question your integrity and reputation is not a good look, but he's fine. She's gone. He can forget about her.
 
OCD Guy said:
She left her key, So she can't come back.

I just want to emphasise that I didn't react more out of respect for my parents, they are a bit prim and proper and they don't like all that sort of stuff.

It wasn't anything at all to do with my ex, or not wanting to upset her, or worried about her or her friends reaction.

We've got seperate circles, yeah we would do like couple nights, but the guys were acquaintances. Her friends might think I'm a cunt, but that won't matter. It's not as though their opinions will effect me.
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Also - you should probably realize that she or her friends may not be above breaking into your place.

If it were me, I'd move.
 
She actually fed your mother a line of bullshit straight to her face? That right there would have pissed me off. She also took the dog?

OP, you need to get yourself a new 'mans best friend' to chill with you at your pad while watching that sweet OLED. A dog is a wonderful companion at any time but especially during a breakup.
 
This is why you keep some evidence. OP done good.

The few posters that were saying, "Why the fuck would you keep the dick pic and what she said about his dick? It's not like you'll have to prove your case to Judge Judy! Derp" should be eating some crow right about now.

People can convince themselves and everyone around them that they've done nothing wrong if there isn't any physical evidence to back you up. Always get evidence if you can.
 
InfiniteBento said:
Nothing wrong with being introverted. If anything, especially considering your circumstances, I respect you so much for not lashing out at all or being petty.

Move forward with what you've got and wipe all memory of her from your existence. You deserve better than this and will find what you're looking for in due time.
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There is nothing wrong with being introverted, you are absolutely right but he could have stuck up for himself and still not lashed out. Too dig your head in the sand and tell yourself that you will find what your looking for because you deserve better isn't good advice. He clearly has confidence issues, and if he keeps looking to date without addressing and working on that problem, he will continue to get taken advantage of.
 
OCD have you practiced Buddhism or meditation before? You are zen as hell.

Also, if you have any social media then delete her off them and block your ex and her friends now. I would expect abusive messages or her trying to rub it in your face that she's moved on.
 
Given that your friendship circles are different, you're fine. Just let your parents know she wasn't being truthful. If they press you, then you might want to show the receipts.

I've lost almost all my friends over shit like this before. I'm glad you're going to be in a way better position than I was...
 
OCD Guy said:
I appreciate it's difficult to convey as no one here knows me, but I'm really introverted. I mean look at the facts I'm on a gaming forum and play games excessively in my spare time.

People that know me wouldn't be shocked at my reaction.

The biggest shock was me snapping last night while she had the ipad out. That alone would have suprised anyone that knows me. That's why she was shocked, and didn't know what to do.
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Fair play to you for keeping it together at that point. I'm pretty patient but if that was me there would have been no other reaction than letting fly and watching the world burn. I tip my hat to you sir.
 
TimeEffect said:
Cant OP get in trouble for changing locks?
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No. He just has to check in with the landlord. Hell, if anything, he should have the landlord do it, but that might take more time than i'd personally be comfortable with.

It costs 2.99 to get key dupes made. Change those locks ASAP.
 
What did your mum say after your ex fed her all that bs? That must have been very stressful just hearing it tbh. What with her and her friend both in the room. How can people be that much in denial? I guess some people always want to think the best of themselves even if it isn't true.
 
OP, imo you did everything right EXCEPT let her get away with that ridiculous story. If it was me I would have waited until she had all her stuff packed up, was dropping the key off, and getting ready to walk out the dorr the last time. Then bare minimum whispered in her ear that you saved her convo and emailed it to yourself. That way she KNOWS she cant spin that BS story to anyone else without the worry of getting caught about it.
 
adamsappel said:
You have a fundamental misunderstanding of family law. If you have been raising children as your own, they are considered your responsibility, even if you are not the biological father. I'm sure he loves the children, and if you can decide that you don't love them anymore because they are not technically "yours," then you are a terrible person. Also, don't immediately call a lawyer and assume your wife was twice impregnated by someone else because of a snapchat name. Talk with her, first.
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... Not paying child support by winning custody/keeping the kids with him, not abandoning his kids, wtf?!!
 
M_Night said:
OCD have you practiced Buddhism or meditation before? You are zen as hell.

Also, if you have any social media then delete her off them and block your ex and her friends now. I would expect abusive messages or her trying to rub it in your face that she's moved on.
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Great advice

OP do this if you haven't already
 
InfiniteBento said:
Nothing wrong with being introverted. If anything, especially considering your circumstances, I respect you so much for not lashing out at all or being petty.

Move forward with what you've got and wipe all memory of her from your existence. You deserve better than this and will find what you're looking for in due time.

edit: I do agree with the people on the whole change the locks thing tho. Your safety is absolutely of the utmost importance.
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The problem isn't being introverted. The problem is that he didn't stick up for himself at all. What if that was reflected in the relationship? What if OCD Guy's lack of confidence made her not feel exactly safe or protected or she found it to be a turn off? What if he did similar things and let people walk over him and she witnessed it?

It's something he really needs to work on.

I'm not saying to go 100% and fight, but standing up for yourself is something you should do and doing nothing is a very unattractive quality. If he doesn't work on it, this will continue to repeat.
 
The lock change is something I'm obviously going to mention to the estate agent, but as of now I can't do it.

The first step is obviously the assigning of the tenancy which she'll have to sign.

I need to take things one step at a time, I'm still waiting for a melt down where she refuses to do it or something and then claims that I took her key from her. Although I'm probably just paranoid.
 
OCD Guy said:
The lock change is something I'm obviously going to mention to the estate agent, but as of now I can't do it.

The first step is obviously the assigning of the tenancy which she'll have to sign.

I need to take things one step at a time, I'm still waiting for a melt down where she refuses to do it or something and then claims that I took her key from her. Although I'm probably just paranoid.
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Not to worry you, but be prepared
 
OCD Guy said:
The lock change is something I'm obviously going to mention to the estate agent, but as of now I can't do it.

The first step is obviously the assigning of the tenancy which she'll have to sign.

I need to take things one step at a time, I'm still waiting for a melt down where she refuses to do it or something and then claims that I took her key from her. Although I'm probably just paranoid.
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Were your parents with you when she surrendered the key?
 
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