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[MrS]

Sounds like you need assertiveness in your life.
Being that passive all the time is going to bite you in the ass

I agree with this. If I was to be callous, I'd say OP was guilty of 'fuccboi behaviour' during that exchange.

 

[Kwixotik]

You should at least show her the screenshots and let her know that if she starts spreading lies about you to everyone in town the proof will be put out in the open.

Might at least shut her up and keep you from having your reputation damaged.

 

[AbortedWalrusFetus]

Your ex is a full on narcissist.

 

[Xamtheking]

Actually, I think its over now, if op's ex can no longer get into the apartment.

 

[EloquentM]

I sense the OLED is still in great danger

Emperor palpatine over here.

 

[The Elite]

Sounds like you need assertiveness in your life.
Being that passive all the time is going to bite you in the ass

He's hardly passive. Seems to be in control of this situation for the most part. If everything goes as planned he will result in the best outcome given the situation.

 

[FaintDeftone]

Wow this girl sounds like a grade-A dirtbag. Spinning the whole thing to make you look like some terrible person, even in front of your parents. I hope karma hits her hard.

 

[KingSnake]

Especially when they were already playing the victim, so me screaming and shouting and throwing a picture of a dick in the middle of the room wouldn't have achieved much.

There can be a contradictory discussion without screaming and shouting. You can present your arguments in a calm way. You can even prepare for it,if you're not sure you can keep your calm on the spot.

I really don't think that running away from issues and let the others have it their way can be a good thing (it is sometimes, but not always). Especially when it can turn bad for you.

 

[Big Baybee]

If she keeps spreading bullshit, then release the info. Fuck it.

 

[OCD Guy]

I agree with this. I would call it 'fuccboi behaviour' if I was being callous.

I've said that I was like that more out of respect to my parents. To give you an idea I've never even sworn infront of them, they are proper straight laced.

Yeah I'm passive, and don't react much, a lot of people say "what you're just gonna take that" but I'm always like so what.

 

[FrozenCell]

Fake tears are always surprising.

tears can come from the regret of getting caught
words were more about saving face

 

[NH Apache]

Change the locks if you are going to stay. The way this girl spewed lies to your mom really is a character indicator, isn't it? You 're getting out at a good time, OP.

It would be very difficult for me to not laugh when she started saying the lies.

 

[Icefire1424]

Haven't posted since page two of this thing but well...shit. That's not exactly how I expected this to play out. Think of it this way OP, you seem to have avoided the worst case scenario here, and with all due respect, managed to dodge one hell of a bullet that is your now ex. Imagine if this all came about a year or so down the road and you two had gotten a lot more serious.

Echoing some of the recent comments though, now might be a good time to change the locks, especially while your ma is there.

 

[O Canada Our Home and Native Land]

Not cool, OP. This will haunt you now and for some time. You need to come out and do something about the pics you saved and toss them on her face and let it all out! Don't let it 'end' like this because that's what they want. They want to play the victims here, and you are letting them.

He should let her get her way until he is disentangled. He is coming out ahead here.

 

[Kinitari]

Going off the stuff shes already done, it wouldn't be surprising if she made a copy before handing it over to OCD Guy.

It might seem a bit OTT, but get the locks changed. And don't leave the flat empty until they are, especially if she is staying just round the corner too

100% get the locks changed. My ex was moving in with the guy she cheated on me with, and I was being super good about it (truth was I was really happy it happened as it gave me a clean out... I think she picked up on that happiness), told her she could move her stuff out at her own pace. After weeks of giving me a LOT of shit, for no reason, and other extremely manipulative things, she stole into my room in the middle of the night and took my phone. She knew my passwords so she was messaging people as me trying to make me sound like a jerk, and also stole money from my account.

Before I called the cops, I went to her mom and she helped me get it all settled, but holy shit, never been so mad in my entire life.

I then immediately changed the locks and all my passwords.

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

Dude, you gain nothing by letting her walk over you like this.

 

[Kill Your Masters]

Be careful OP. She and her screeching cunt of a friend will poison your reputation to everyone you both know, just to save her own skin. Best be prepared in case people fall for it, and you especially don't want anyone coming round to "settle the score".

Make sure she doesn't have a key. Ideally, change the locks.

You could tell the ex you have backed up all the evidence and will go nuclear on her ass if she ever starts talking shit about you. Is it blackmail? Maybe. But at least this will either shut her up or absolutely wreck her if she doesn't comply. (in case you have a lot of mutual acquaintances)

These situations kinda pan out the same, each and every time. I am glad I did the same in regards of securing evidence. Still have a backup proof of a cheating ex that she cheated, just in case I hear anyone talking shit about me.

 

[Camwi]

 

[diablos991]

He's hardly passive. Seems to be in control of this situation for the most part. If everything goes as planned he will result in the best outcome given the situation.

If you consider not touching the steering wheel control.
Sure the car might end up in the right place; but it's because of the external factors and not the driver in this scenario.

 

[[KoRp]Jazzman]

Obviously good you didn't do that, but there comes a point where you should be defending yourself. Just my 2c.

Exactly, you don't have to refute her claims by yelling and screaming, you are an adult and can simply say exactly what happened in a calm manner. Once its said, you don't have to respond to her nonsense, just let her lie her way around it and let her leave.

Not speaking up and just taking it from her in this situation is ridiculous, and that isn't a trait to be proud of in my mind at all.

 

[adamsappel]

Call a lawyer, you may not end up having to pay child support.

You have a fundamental misunderstanding of family law. If you have been raising children as your own, they are considered your responsibility, even if you are not the biological father. I'm sure he loves the children, and if you can decide that you don't love them anymore because they are not technically "yours," then you are a terrible person. Also, don't immediately call a lawyer and assume your wife was twice impregnated by someone else because of a snapchat name. Talk with her, first.

 

[Lashley]

OP, come up to Newcastle, we'll have a few beers

 

[bathsalts]

She left her key, So she can't come back.

She's blindsided you several times in the past few days alone, cutting a key is nothing, leaving a way inside is trivial. Change those locks.

 

[veryslowhand]

You and your TV can do a lot better

 

[MrS]

I've said that I was like that more out of respect to my parents. To give you an idea I've never even sworn infront of them, they are proper straight laced.

Yeah I'm passive, and don't react much, a lot of people say "what you're just gonna take that" but I'm always like so what.

Out of respect for my parents, I would be honest and tell them what actually happened lest they think I was guilty of something I didn't do. For the most part you've handled this exceptionally and that's commendable.

 

[Lynx_7]

She turned up after work and I locked her out last night so she had nowhere to go, I didn't tell her why I locked her out, I've been really distant with her and it's because I've been seeing people behind her back and I've not been nice to her at all, she just can't deal with it anymore, so she want's to grab her stuff and leave.

I'm listening to all this in disbelief, how she can talk this much crap with a straight face, let alone doing it with fake ass tears rolling down her face is something else. Her friend with her arm round her being quiet as a mouse is the icing on the cake.

What the actual fuck. You just stood there silently and took it? Real talk OP, are you secretly a monk?

I would've gone full Phoenix Wright on her ass, Cornered playing at full volume on my sweet ass OLED, and would've shoved that EVIDENCE.ZIP on everyone's face, including the dog.

 

[lifa-cobex]

Get the feeling your not going to be left alone now.

You became a total walkover and she knows it now.
Anything you say in the future will look like a desperate attempt.

FUCKING SAY SOMETHING NOW!

She knows you know the truth and will probably make sure you keep your trap shut.

You have my sympathy's but your gonna end up getting pushed about.
She knows where you live and her gobby mate does too.
One drunken Friday night, herself and her mates are gonna give you a torrent of abuse.
She will bully you into a corner until you are completely gone from her friends circle.

Stand up for yourself and speak.
Do yourself a favor.

 

[diablos991]

She's blindsided you several times in the past few days alone, cutting a key is nothing, leaving a way inside is trivial. Change those locks.

Picking the locks or kicking in the door are trivial as well. That's why I suggest ensuring proper insurance coverage if OP intends to leave his things there.

 

[Wind's Howling]

LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL OF YOU BREHS.

IF YOU FIND THE EVIDENCE, KEEP THE RECEIPTS. AT SOME POINT DOWN THE LINE YOU ARE ALWAYS GONNA NEED THAT SHIT TO CLEAR YOUR OWN NAME.

Amen. A-fucking-men.

I respect you, OCD, for keeping your calm. I wouldn't be able to do that when I know she is lying in front of my own mother.

 

[Always-honest]

Fuck that. If I found out some dude was cheating on my daughter I would kick him the fuck out. Are you kidding? Especially if he was trying to play the victim and lying to me face?

Yep. No more energy wasted on that fucking bitch.
She's a wise woman.

 

[TheOMan]

She's blindsided you several times in the past few days alone, cutting a key is nothing, leaving a way inside is trivial. Change those locks.

Exactly - I think you should assume she has a key to the place, change your locks asap.

 

[n64coder]

She left her key, So she can't come back.

Keys can be duplicated. Even the ones that say "Do not duplicate".

She's blindsided you several times in the past few days alone, cutting a key is nothing, leaving a way inside is trivial. Change those locks.

Agreed.

 

[UnluckyKate]

Op, cross the channel, come to visit me in France. Weather is nice and the beaches are better on our side.

 

[OCD Guy]

Out of respect for my parents, I would be honest and tell them what actually happened lest they think I was guilty of something I didn't do. For the most part you've handled this exceptionally and that's commendable.

My parents know what I'm like, they don't believe her story.

I'm just not that type of person. They know how insecure I am, how shy I've been around girls etc. I'm just not the player type at all.

It's kinda like if she had come out with He beat me up last night, was punching me in my face" they would know it's not true, because they know how I avoid confrontations.

 

[mhayes86]

Ok so things didn't go the way I thought they would. A very brief summary.

...

My mum (or mom for you guys) is quite understanding, so she starts conversating with her to try and find out what's wrong.

She turned up after work and I locked her out last night so she had nowhere to go, I didn't tell her why I locked her out, I've been really distant with her and it's because I've been seeing people behind her back and I've not been nice to her at all, she just can't deal with it anymore, so she want's to grab her stuff and leave.

I'm listening to all this in disbelief, how she can talk this much crap with a straight face, let alone doing it with fake ass tears rolling down her face is something else. Her friend with her arm round her being quiet as a mouse is the icing on the cake...

Damn, OP. How you were able to take all of that without stopping her and stating that you have photographic evidence is beyond me. I'm sure your parents believe you considering your reactions of locking her out and full intentions of moving out of there without warning.

You've been confident about this breakup since the beginning of the thread, and her making no effort to talk about it and playing the victim is telling of her guilt of going behind your back. How are you doing throughout this? After four years together, you don't seem to be coming off overly emotional about the whole situation other than frustration.

 

[Dorsal Axe]

She left her key, So she can't come back.

Fool me once...

You've seen her true colours at last. Please don't risk it. Change the locks.

Exactly, you don't have to refute her claims by yelling and screaming, you are an adult and can simply say exactly what happened in a calm manner. Once its said, you don't have to respond to her nonsense, just let her lie her way around it and let her leave.

Not speaking up and just taking it from her in this situation is ridiculous, and that isn't a trait to be proud of in my mind at all.

Yeah, literally all anyone has to say in that situation is "I have evidence of what you did, nobody here is buying your story. Pack up your stuff, and leave." It's possible to be calm and controlled, while also being assertive.

 

[Zaru]

It has probably been asked before, OP, but how did you even get together with this vile lying piece of cheating garbage? No signs of that before?

 

[KingSnake]

He's hardly passive. Seems to be in control of this situation for the most part. If everything goes as planned he will result in the best outcome given the situation.

Not really. Even his parents have now two versions of the same story with a similar weight attached to it. She even put more weight in her story than the OP in his.

 

[hughesta]

I want to buy you a beer, OP.

 

[EchoChamber]

She left her key, So she can't come back.

She could have another copy, just like that biker Dick.

 

[Squalor]

She's gone?

Fuck her. O.P. won. She's an awful person. You're better off.

As I said yesterday, her her ass out. Glad things have worked out.

 

[Deleted member 10571]

I would've gone full Phoenix Wright on her ass, Cornered playing at full volume on my sweet ass OLED, and would've shoved that EVIDENCE.ZIP on everyone's face, including the dog.

I'll just go ahead and admit that I laughed way harder than I should have. I love your post!

 

[OCD Guy]

I appreciate it's difficult to convey as no one here knows me, but I'm really introverted. I mean look at the facts I'm on a gaming forum and play games excessively in my spare time.

People that know me wouldn't be shocked at my reaction.

The biggest shock was me snapping last night while she had the ipad out. That alone would have suprised anyone that knows me. That's why she was shocked, and didn't know what to do.

 

[perfectchaos007]

I would show the dong pick and convo to my parents. I don't want THEM to think I'm breaking up a 4 year relationship just because of one little convo my gf was having behind my back.

 

[Lashley]

I appreciate it's difficult to convey as no one here knows me, but I'm really introverted.

People that know me wouldn't be shocked at my reaction.

The biggest shock was me snapping last night while she had the ipad out. That alone would have suprised anyone that knows me. That's why she was shocked, and didn't know what to do.

I can relate

I absolutely hate confrontations, my heart pounds so hard I feel it in my head lol

Had very few physical fights in my life

EDIT: At the same time, although I am laidback, I am certainly not a pushover. Be careful of that OP.

 

[Loudninja]

I appreciate it's difficult to convey as no one here knows me, but I'm really introverted.

People that know me wouldn't be shocked at my reaction.

The biggest shock was me snapping last night while she had the ipad out. That alone would have suprised anyone that knows me. That's why she was shocked, and didn't know what to do.

You are who you are I am pretty much the same way really.

 

[Squalor]

I appreciate it's difficult to convey as no one here knows me, but I'm really introverted. I mean look at the facts I'm on a gaming forum and play games excessively in my spare time.

People that know me wouldn't be shocked at my reaction.

The biggest shock was me snapping last night while she had the ipad out. That alone would have suprised anyone that knows me. That's why she was shocked, and didn't know what to do.

Can you point me to that post? Only saw the today one.

 

[mkenyon]

Something seems weird, she was willing to lie about you cheating while you were in the room?

Even if she was wrong, that seems more like something she believes is true, rather than a purposeful and deceitful lie. Especially since she knew you had evidence.

 

[diablos991]

She could have another copy, just like that biker Dick.

I think she could make up some story and bringing her waterworks to biker dick. Key or not that guy is paying you a visit if he has a backbone.

Staying in the same place is a risky move.

 

[the_log_ride]

Wow, OP. Your ex is a piece of work. Props to you for keeping it together like you did while she spewed her lies. You seem like a really good person, and your folks too. At some point you need to tell them what really went down, though. Change the locks, too, even though you have her key.

edit: co-signing on the suggestion to move after the lease is up. Start fresh.