People who are constantly late

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What's the deal with concerts that have a doors time of like 8pm and then the first band doesn't start until like 11pm. They could at least also list a projected start time. Its weird. Sometimes doors at 8 means they'll be playing at 8:30. Sometimes 11.
 
I'm not meaninfully late (i.e., more than a few minutes late) very often, but when I am late, it's more because I didn't want to waste my time waiting for a thing to start once I get to a place and I'm trying to only give myself exactly the amount of time it takes to get ready and get to a place. Having some mild to moderate social anxiety also predisposes me to get to things right as they are starting or directly after they start so I won't have to be the first person to have to start a thing or talk to a host. That, obviously, makes me late occasionally when something comes up (like not being able to find something I need to take with me immediately), but I still think that everyone would waste less time overall (seriously being early for something is the pits) if they took my approach.

But yeah, people who are consistently 15 or more minutes late probably have some kind of psychological hang up that makes them slightly incompatible with our time obsessed culture.
 
ultracal31 said:
Guy I use to be friends with was late so much that we told him to leave for an event or gathering but our own group would leave 45 minutes to an hour later to get him to show up on time.

somehow he still manages to be late
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He's on to you guys. They tried that with me too.
 
Hale-XF11 said:
Wife makes us late for everything and it drives me insane. I'm an early person, so I like to arrive to wherever I'm going ahead of time so that I don't have to stress out over anything.
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Oh god this is me so much.

My wife ALWAYS does this thing where she will tell me that she is ready and I should call a cab. I will call a cab and when the cab is downstairs and waiting, she will find something to do that takes forever.

I really HATE making anyone wait and this does my head in. And she KNOWS that it annoys me to no end. Its gotten to the point now where just lie and tell her the cab is waiting and then order one when she almost out the door. Honestly I would rather we wait 5 minutes outside the door than make someone else wait. I think she is starting to figure out that I am doing this though. :P
 
marrec said:
So, for you people who get all bent out of shape at late people, what if they're just like.... 5 or 10 minutes late?
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Not a big deal for me unless it's something very time sensitive, like the other day my friend was meeting me at my place so we would ride to a wedding together. He was like 15 minutes late and that would have made us late to the ceremony so I was like fuck that and just met him directly there.
 
I'm mostly bothered because I can't understand why someone who is consistently late doesn't realize they need to change their timing. Like if you know you're always 10 minutes late because you have to walk the dog before you leave, just start getting ready 10 minutes earlier. Nobody goes from always late to somehow on time magically.
 
marrec said:
So, for you people who get all bent out of shape at late people, what if they're just like.... 5 or 10 minutes late?
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Im OK with that unless it is something extremely important. My threshold is 15-20 minutes before I start getting a little irritated. 30 minutes or more without a valid excuse (traffic, emergency, etc) and it happened more then one or twice I get bent out of shape.
 
I'm guilty of this. I'm late by like 5 minutes everyday.. I've adjusted my alarms and everything, main issue is actually getting out of bed.
 
I just don't get strict times for social stuff? Work, yes, but family/friends? Unless it's time like a movie or show, then I understand.

I'm usually early conventionally, tho.
 
They don't piss me off. I'm always early for things, so I don't mind waiting on others.

That said, it's definitely rude. Being consistently late is like saying, "I don't give two shits about wasting your time."
 
Slammin_Hammon said:
I'm mostly bothered because I can't understand why someone who is consistently late doesn't realize they need to change their timing. Like if you know you're always 10 minutes late because you have to walk the dog before you leave, just start getting ready 10 minutes earlier. Nobody goes from always late to somehow on time magically.
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It seems very logical, but a lot of people can't grasp this concept.

Every group of friends have one guy who is like this, always consistently late. If we're doing something time sensitive we'll tell our tardy buddy a time 30 minutes earlier than the actual time, works pretty well actually, everybody else has to be in on it though or it won't work.
 
Oh yea, best thing is if they tell you that they are "on the way" when you call them but in reality they are home not even finished.
 
entremet said:
I just don't get strict times for social stuff? Work, yes, but family/friends? Unless it's time like a movie or show, then I understand.

I'm usually early conventionally, tho.
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Yep. If someone says "meet me at the bar at 6" I will ALWAYS show up at 6:05 to 6:10.

However if I'm like, driving someone to the airport or something I'll show up early.
 
MIMIC said:
My dad is always late. ALWAYS. Thankfully, I didn't get this horrible habit from him; I'm more like my mom, who is always early for everything.

I was listening to my dad talking to someone on the phone, and he said, "I'll be there at 2 o'clock." I just shook my head because I knew he wouldn't even be gone by 2.

Come 2 o'clock, he's in the shower. @_@

What prompted me to make this thread was a call of his that I just overheard. It was someone basically going "WHERE DAFUQ U AT?!" I had flashbacks of all those times as a kid when when he was 20-30 minutes late picking me up.

I suppose this a rant more than anything. Late people just really annoy me. BTW, I tried to see if I could make this thread before he left (it's 2:29 pm, lol). He was pulling out of the driveway and came back in for something. I mean, why bother going at this point?

Do late people piss you off, too?
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I agree... and I can't even understand why it is so hard for some people to be on time. Particularly if it is for something they go to everyday like a job (I mean is it that hard to figure out that if you are always 10 minutes late for work maybe you should leave 10 minutes earlier than you do).

I wonder though if maybe they think of things differently than I do. When I think of being somewhere by a certain time I try to set in my head a time I need to leave by. I stop worrying about what time I am supposed to be there and worry about the time I'm supposed to leave by. What time I'm supposed to be there is no longer what my concern is, just making sure I'm ready to be done and ready to leave by the time I need to leave.

I wonder if people who are constantly late tend to more focus on the time they are supposed to be there and less on the time they need to leave to get there by that time.

ANd some one being 5 minutes late every now and then (and I'm just talking about when they are supposed to relieve me from work so I can go home) I can handle. But if they are reliably 5 minutes late every time, yes that pisses me off (but, once again this depends on what they are late for. I'm pretty punctual so I'm a little weird about once it's time for be to be off, I want to be off already and I'm not patient about it).
 
I used to be incredibly punctual. IBS as I have gotten older has pretty much made that impossible for me. If I have to be somewhere in the morning and absolutely cannot be late I have to be up four to five hours early so if I have a morning attack I can get past it to be on time. And even then, its sometimes not enough. I know its bad form and annoys people, but I can't really help it. I always communicate if I'm going to be late though.
 
If you pull this kind of shit regularly, that's a quick way to get written out of my life. And not even consciously. It's just that I have better things to do with my time than wait on you, and other people I could do things with who aren't going to make me wait. So you're never going to be the first person I call anymore, and if other people want to do stuff regularly, I may not end up doing anything with you very much at all.
 
I'm usually 5 mins late for work and I just can't function any other way. But I get so little sleep sometimes that even an extra 15 mins is nice. Night-shift sucks.
 
Brianimaniac said:
I hate going to the movies unless I can make a day of it and see two or three things at once, so my friend being late will often create a situation where we can't see everything I was wanting to see. Because of that, I've cut way back on going to the theater and mostly just rent movies now.
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Go alone then? It's not that bad.
 
I have a friend who's like this but it's easy to deal with. If something's at 7 I tell him it's at 6 and he magically gets there right at 7.
 
Who the hell gets mad at someone for being 5 minutes late to a casual social gathering or meetup

My friends are always late to shit and i don't give a hell if theyre 5-10 minutes behind if it's not something with a strict requirement to be on time.

Obviously for a big event or for like a movie or something else it's unacceptable to be considerably late, but if I'm just waiting for someone at a bar or restaurant I can always find something to do for a few minutes. Here in ATL you basically always have an excuse to be a little late, traffic and parking will always work against you.
 
I don't like having my time wasted, so I find it annoying if someone is consistently like this. I've noticed people are much worse with this in general since I moved to Southern California, both socially and professionally. If it's less than 15 minutes, I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, but if it's more than fifteen minutes, not a first time thing, and no attempt to text/call has been made, I just leave/make myself unavailable and stop making plans with that person.
 
King Gilga said:
What 5-10 mins?

If it gets you that mad you got issues.

They shouldn't even need to make an excuse unless they're 1/2 hour plus late.

Just have a pint or window shop while you wait jeez.



Yes? It obviously is?
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Well, yes; that just shows me the person doesn't respect my time. Why can't that person leave his/her house or wherever is 5 or 10 minutes early? Few times I can accept is if we meet after work.
 
If its 5-10 minutes or something i have no issues.

After that, if you don't tell me your gonna be late, or you don't give a reason, I will chastise you like no tomorrow. This is mostly due to me being the planner of event times when doing stuff with a good deal of people, so if you're late and don't tell me Idk what contingencies to fall back on.

If you're 45+ minutes late, I'll let you know where we are going, but you're on your own.
 
Strangelove77 said:
I'm more curious as to the thought process of these late people is. Why are they incapable of being on time? And if they know it's a problem, why not be extremely cautious about it next time?
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As a conditionally early person, and knowing a number of late people I think it's just a matter of the following:
-Not knowing how long it takes to get ready
-Not valuing the time of other people
-Being perfectionist, and having to look their best when they go out
-Lack of motivation or lack of ability to hustle when approaching deadlines
-"Well I'll be late 10 minutes, might as well make it 20"
-They don't know how it feels to have someone else be late on them

But who knows, it could be for any number of reasons,
 
Linkark07 said:
Well, yes; that just shows me the person doesn't respect my time. Why can't that person leave his/her house or wherever is 5 or 10 minutes early? Few times I can accept is if we meet after work.
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Why's it up to you to control when that person shows up? 5 minutes ain't going to mean shit for the evenings or days plans, it's just a control thing for you.
 
marrec said:
So, for you people who get all bent out of shape at late people, what if they're just like.... 5 or 10 minutes late?
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I've lost friends over 10 minutes. I have deadlines and their selfishness is aggravating. Just talking about this bends me out of shape.

marrec said:
Why's it up to you to control when that person shows up? 5 minutes ain't going to mean shit for the evenings or days plans, it's just a control thing for you.
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Except it does means shit. That's why we agreed on a time. If it is like a 6'ish situation i'm fine. But if it is a show at 8:00 PM you better be there on time or i'm dropping you.
 
I think being late is just inconsiderate. It's not all about you, mr. late person. Other people have shit to do, get there on time.
 
marrec said:
Why's it up to you to control when that person shows up? 5 minutes ain't going to mean shit for the evenings or days plans, it's just a control thing for you.
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If I'm in no rush to get somewhere on time, I don't agree to meet at that time in the first place.

I say "you'll be there at 6? I'm not sure when I'll be there. I'll text you when I leave".

Then no matter what time I leave, I'm not late.

It's not that hard, people.
 
I'm always early wherever I go at least 15 min.

I see it as a test of how important I am ( as a person) to the other guy. of course 5 - 10 min is sometimes acceptable.
 
wild wild rice said:
And then you start telling them to arrive at a fake time like an hour earlier, but they already know that you're feeding them a fake time and they show up whenever the fuck they want still.
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I have a friend from high school who is habitually late. When we were in college it got so bad we'd tell him to show up at 6 PM if we were getting together at 10 PM. He'd still be late. I think he had us figured out.
 
MIMIC said:
What prompted me to make this thread was a call of his that I just overheard. It was someone basically going "WHERE DAFUQ U AT?!" I had flashbacks of all those times as a kid when when he was 20-30 minutes late picking me up.
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LOL!

I was always the last kid left at tennis practice, just waiting there on a bench for 30 mins. At piano lessons I would have to sit on my teacher's couch reading her son's comic books until the next student was like halfway through their own lesson. After swimming class I would play ping pong by myself in the rec room (I'd fold one side of the ping pong table up so I could bounce the ball against it).

Also, this one time he was supposed to pick me up from the mall, but after an hour of waiting he didn't show up, so I called the house like five times and all I got was the "busy" tone every time. We had dial up internet back then, so I figured he was on that. Eventually walked home, but when I got back there was no one there, and he had porn open on his computer lol. Turns out he drove to the mall as I was already walking home and didn't see me on the way, and when he came back he had the nerve to get mad at me.
 
Tigress said:
I agree... and I can't even understand why it is so hard for some people to be on time. Particularly if it is for something they go to everyday like a job (I mean is it that hard to figure out that if you are always 10 minutes late for work maybe you should leave 10 minutes earlier than you do).

I wonder though if maybe they think of things differently than I do. When I think of being somewhere by a certain time I try to set in my head a time I need to leave by. I stop worrying about what time I am supposed to be there and worry about the time I'm supposed to leave by. What time I'm supposed to be there is no longer what my concern is, just making sure I'm ready to be done and ready to leave by the time I need to leave.

I wonder if people who are constantly late tend to more focus on the time they are supposed to be there and less on the time they need to leave to get there by that time.

ANd some one being 5 minutes late every now and then (and I'm just talking about when they are supposed to relieve me from work so I can go home) I can handle. But if they are reliably 5 minutes late every time, yes that pisses me off (but, once again this depends on what they are late for. I'm pretty punctual so I'm a little weird about once it's time for be to be off, I want to be off already and I'm not patient about it).
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Some people just hate to be early, maybe they see it as wasting time. Some people say it's a power play.

Plus it can be more stressful trying to be early/on-time than being late for too many reasons.
 
Layell said:
As a conditionally early person, and knowing a number of late people I think it's just a matter of the following:
-Not knowing how long it takes to get ready
-Not valuing the time of other people
-Being perfectionist, and having to look their best when they go out
-Lack of motivation or lack of ability to hustle when approaching deadlines
-"Well I'll be late 10 minutes, might as well make it 20"
-They don't know how it feels to have someone else be late on them

But who knows, it could be for any number of reasons,
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These are spot on in my opinion.

Dynamite Shikoku said:
You mean South Americans?
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I'm South American. Haven't found it to be true that North Americans are any more timely than South Americans for meetups.
 
Brianimaniac said:
If I'm in no rush to get somewhere on time, I don't agree to meet at that time in the first place.

I say "you'll be there at 6? I'm not sure when I'll be there. I'll text you when I leave".

Then no matter what time I leave, I'm not late.

It's not that hard, people.
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"I'll be there around 6" is my go to.

But I think it shouldn't be expected that "I'll be there at 6" should mean "look for me at 6:00 and if I'm not there then send the police".

It's silly to so strict on things that aren't extremely time sensitive.
 
Yes. Especially because the excuse my friends (that aren't late) give is that they are 'busy.' When I know for a fact I am much more busy than them and most of them don't even have a job.
 
The worst is when, like in the example you mentioned, someone is not only late, but lies about it. I'd rather someone was honest than lie about when they left. If someone is 5-10 minutes late, though, then that's...nothing. Especially when you consider things that may come up, or how public transportation works. Of course, there will be situations where an extra 5 minutes may matter, but I don't see how someone can function in this world if they're generally that impatient.
 
I have this one friend who does absolutely NOTHING yet still manages to be late for everything. Unemployed, not in school, just sits home all day. We usually hang out weekly and we'll agree to meet at like 4:30 after I get off of work. Always shows up AT LEAST an hour late and pisses me off. I finally confronted him and asked him why he is always late, and he goes "oh, man, I get caught up in watching anime".

We're hanging out today. I told him if he's more than 20 minutes late, I'm leaving without telling him and going to do something else.
 
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