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[The Lamonster]

I am a Man who knocks.

 

[giga]

So you went out with a girl who already stood you up.

You told here that she shouldn't be texting you anymore before the date for some reason (which sounds rude and weird).

You bought tickets to something beforehand, so you spent money while the girl stood you up before.

I'm sorry, but while I get you are feeling bad about it, you need to work on the issues you have. And stop calling yourself a Man like you do, it comes off as creepy and as if you feel yourself better then the girl.

What haha. Link?

 

[PositiveGamer]

I am pretty sure OP doesn't natively speak English.. The man part gave it away... unless he is a magnificent villain or the dude from Split keeping his date locked up and that's why she never shows up..

Did you check the basement of your house OP?

 

[Ralemont]

What haha. Link?

He said it in this thread. I probably wouldn't have said that to the girl but tbh it's not a good idea to text a whole bunch before even meeting for multiple reasons.

 

[dripdripsplash]

I don't want to pile up on you but yeah lose the "Man" thing from your vocabulary and drop that girl.

 

[Leeness]

It does have a kind of comic aspect to it, doesn't it?

Gotta look on the bright side! Sure, wasted my time coming here for you to bail in ten minutes, but at least I got some tea and I'll still be home in time for dinner.

 

[TheOfficeMut]

I don't want to pile up on you but yeah lose the "Man" thing from your vocabulary and drop that girl.

Oh crap I just noticed that. lmao

 

[Kevtones]

Tell her it's over but you want to stay friends. Ask if you can meet up as friends and stand her up.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Oh, Man.

 

[Makonero]

Oh, Man who is kind.

ftfy

 

[norm9]

This is terrible advice. So you let the fear of being stood up dictate the venue?

I've met 9 girls off Tinder at either bars or coffee shops. All I did was text them before I left to make sure they were coming. It's as simple as that.

If they're actually going to come then you'll probably be having active conversation anyway.

Nah. It's not letting the fear dictate the venue. It's knowing that you would have had a good time when you're with or without the date. For instance, you asked her to dinner at the new restaurant. You do so because YOU want to eat there, and regardless of if she is or isn't with you, you still would have went to eat there. You're not changing your routine for that person.

 

[FunkyPajamas]

How common is it to be stood up? It's never happened to me and I'm an ugly and basic guy. I've been given fake numbers, and have been "ghosted" after a first date, but never stood up. That's got to suck, but I don't mind being by myself so unless I had to drive a long way I'd probably just enjoy the free time on my own (catch a movie, dinner, etc).

That's pretty rude though.

 

[One Eyed Willy]

Sadly yes, after the first time she was telling me that she was sorry and this time, I basically had the tickets and told her if she was down,. She says Yeah, then 20 mins before the show. She's says that she can't go.

I need some self respect and stop giving her anymore of my time. I dress like a Man, talk like a Man, behave like a Man . Yet I feel like a kid when it comes to dating. Just have to keep searching

This is your problem. Stop "searching", and just be a chill dude who enjoys living. I've always said it, but the easiest way to succeed in dating is to figure out how to get people attracted to you and never the other way around.

This isn't some unattainable feat either. Focus on you first, the rest will always fall into place. Or change nothing and continue the pattern *shrugs*

 

[okdakor]

I dress like a Man, talk like a Man, behave like a Man . I'm a Man who is kind. I'm a Man, a good Man.

just be a chill dude who enjoys living.

OP is already launching searches, "how to dress like a chill dude", "how to behave like a chill dude"...

 

[Shadowhelper]

Sadly yes, after the first time she was telling me that she was sorry and this time, I basically had the tickets and told her if she was down,. She says Yeah, then 20 mins before the show. She's says that she can't go.

I need some self respect and stop giving her anymore of my time. I dress like a Man, talk like a Man, behave like a Man . Yet I feel like a kid when it comes to dating. Just have to keep searching

Heh, I know how you feel. I too am a pushover if I like them enough. I think it's just experience dude. When it happens enough times, you just get hardened and don't put up with it? I dunno, when you are really into someone you can put up with quite a lot.

But generally, it's kinda like anything else. You have to date a fair amount to get good at and learn what works for you, how you should act, and acquiring the strength to just dump a girl.

I have been dating a girl but I am having second thoughts, and she just posted photos of us together on facebook, nothing too embarrassing at all, but posted first then asked if its cool she did that.

I wish I could just be a boss, like Don Draper and dump people so easily, but either I am a bit of a coward still, or I am afraid of doing the whole search again. I dunno. Doesn't help I'm not a kid anymore either.

 

[animax]

She got mad and told me to talk to her like a friend and not like if we were already dating.

As soon as the word "friend" is mentioned by her it's instantly over. Door closed, and was probably never open to begin with.

Cut her out, move on.

 

[Ultramantaro1]

This is your problem. Stop "searching", and just be a chill dude who enjoys living. I've always said it, but the easiest way to succeed in dating is to figure out how to get people attracted to you and never the other way around.

This isn't some unattainable feat either. Focus on you first, the rest will always fall into place. Or change nothing and continue the pattern *shrugs*

I generally agree with the above. The only problem is that women don't often make the first move. Even if you become very attractive to women around you, many of them are just gonna sit pretty and wait for a guy to approach. You still have to make the 1st move a majority of the time. Best thing to do is to have an awesome, attractive life, and still be active and searching.

In my circle of friends, family, acquaintances etc. I can't think of any stories of the girl approaching the guy first or being the initiatior of the first date or kiss etc.

Live an awesome, fulfilling life for yourself, and you'll have more receptive girls, but you still gotta go for it.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

She's nice, but weird. I already told her that we should not text anymore until after we go on a date because we don't even know if we like each other. She got mad and told me to talk to her like a friend and not like if we were already dating.

I just thought that a date is important. I'm a Man who is kind. Time to move on

Uh, if you've never met someone, it's best not to get caught up in semantics. In my anecdotal experience, people meet for the first time to check chemistry, and you really are just friends until you both feel something more.

My advice is not to buy tickets to something to meet someone. This is awkward. Meet them to talk to them briefly in a public place. Check chemistry.

 

[Kelsdesu]

Thats why you don't go anywhere you weren't already planning on going OP. You can spell lesson learned without a few L's

Exactly.

We have all neen through that bullshit before. Move on to something else. She would have wsted your time anyway.

 

[Oxn]

He keeps saying hes a man cause many thought he was an Armadillo

 

[highrider]

I'm just the guy that she stood up, I'm a Man, a good Man. Kind hearted. Time for someone else

Sucks to try your best for someone that doesn't even notice you

This is creepy af.

 

[Lulubop]

Are you Steve Harvey?

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Just masturbate and forget about it.
Just not to pictures of her.
Getting stood up sucks tho.

 

[nvrndr]

Arrange yet another date but this time you stand her up

Just do it out of spite now

Do this or be a real man and tell her you don't appreciate being played with and to peace the fuck out

 

[Oxn]

Why do i get the feeling OP will give her another chance

 

[CSJ]

Why do i get the feeling OP will give her another chance

Other than the OP not asking for advice, generally the types of people looking for advice on the internet are not actually looking for help. They just want to vent or have confirmation on their thoughts.

It's the same as giving advice to someone who's never been in a relationship before or is in a new one. You know exactly what they are doing, you know with one hundred percent certainty how everything will play out. You offer sage advice having gone through it before. But they don't listen, it's different, we're different, it's gonna work!. It's the ritual of every person.

So I now immediately eject myself out of conversations about relationships because people are dumb as fuck when it comes to the obvious. Wasting my time on some bullshit, god damn.

 

[frontovik]

You have some self esteem issues that you should work on.

 

[Ultramantaro1]

Yes, self esteem is the root of all. You only put up with bullshit when you think you have no other options. You would've dropped her like a rock at the first missed date if you were confident another girl was around the corner.

 

[Entropia]

Sadly yes, after the first time she was telling me that she was sorry and this time, I basically had the tickets and told her if she was down,. She says Yeah, then 20 mins before the show. She's says that she can't go.

I need some self respect and stop giving her anymore of my time. I dress like a Man, talk like a Man, behave like a Man . Yet I feel like a kid when it comes to dating. Just have to keep searching

At least she texted you saying she can't go... getting to where you wanted to go and then waiting around like an idiot for awhile in hopes that they show up is even worse.

If someone stands me up without reaching out to me, I basically delete their texts/number and move on.