Spaced Harrier
Member
Stop calling them dates and just hang out when you want to, then you dont have to worry about the rules of etiquette 
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
Messofanego
Banned
Congrats and best wishes!
Sakura
Member
Well, I didn't want to be the kind of guy that constantly asks. If she had already turned me down a few times, keeping it up would only make things worse I figured. So I just focused on talking to her and stuff, then six months later, we were talking, and she said she wanted to eat a certain kind of food. So I said something like, 'You wanna go out for dinner then? I still haven't done anything for your birthday.' Then she said sure and we made plans.
It's not really a date, so I feel being like, 'Why did you agree when before you would always say no!?' wouldn't exactly improve anything.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Tomorrow its my 3rd date with this girl. Why the kiss must be so difficult?
It isn't. You're overthinking it.
2Smashed4U
Banned
I'm not really looking to, but at the same time I have to wonder if at what point my expectations might be unrealistic?
In the time I've used Tinder (so about 2.5 years) I'd say I've matched with a total of one girl that I'd say I was actually excited to talk to. Maybe that's a me problem?
always crazy bacon
Banned
It's not a date at all unless you specify it's a date. Now you've just offered her a free meal, she hasn't changed her mind about you romantically. Nothing will happen.
Isn't my first kiss or anything, but in the past, with other girls, every one of them was stressful. Always.
always crazy bacon
Banned
You're the 2nd choice, her dates last week didn't pan out. Hence the unghosting.
Definitely asking tomorrow, this weekend's my last chance to do anything unplanned until June.
always crazy bacon
Banned
You need to break that cycle, if you're feeling uncomfortable you're going to be an uncomfortable kisser. Don't think. do.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Uh what are you stressed about exactly friend?
Delivery, or performance basically...
Messofanego
Banned
A girl's gotta eat. That's all I see here. Not a date lol. You might want to specify that you see this as a date, but if she doesn't, there's your answer that she just wants a meal.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Double damage for framing it as a birthday gift.
always crazy bacon
Banned
At a guess, food, entertainment and a companion. Expect nothing more than that, go out and have a good evening with a coworker.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Sometimes you have bad kisses. Meh it happens. I think you just have to accept that it may be comppetely average. No kiss is worse than a crappy one. Once you get the first kiss your chances of follow up activity significantly increase. So much so you prob should be more worried about getting it done than how well you arbitrarily rate your performance
Messofanego
Banned
She's lonely and needs a contrast. I don't think she even cares about you, just wants to spend time doing anything else after the break-up.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Tomorrow its my 3rd date with this girl. Why the kiss must be so difficult?
I remember when I was exactly this way. You gotta know that it's not some crazy thing to kiss a girl. It's really just going for it. Don't make it out to be a big deal in your head. That's the downfall right there.
There was a moment in my life, where a girl that I liked stood up and said "Just kiss me" while she was in my room. And I froze up.
Now I got girls that use me as booty calls. hahaha.
You just have to open that door to the realization that it's no big deal.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
It's not a date.
I ask my friend Heather out for Shake Shack or sushi all the time. Many times, we go. We are never, ever, ever getting together.
You are her friend. Take her out and let her pay for her share. Or, be like, "I got this. You can get my birthday, bro." There's really nothing else to it.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Welp, now thats a damn good advice! Thanks bro!
No prob. I have been there fam. I have been there.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
The natural born player gotdatmoney has been there before?? Color me surprised lol
LucidMomentum
Member
Too many dick pics?
Too many zero matches. It's depressing when "women get thousands of messages a day!" and I get zero lol.
Whatever happened with that guy from work? Did he ever message you through non-work methods?
always crazy bacon
Banned
I guess they've all messaged you already. j/k
Every once in a while we do. Just little things like "look at this silly video/gif" or whatever. We're going for lunch on Thursday and went walking around at lunch today.
Lol.
Deleted them all. Don't feel like being depressed and hating myself over it right now.
What's your guys opinion on becoming friends with someone you've dated? Dated this girl for about two months, had a blast doing stuff together, but we mutually agreed we don't see us building a life with each other. I mean, both know the intentions of the other and nobody expects a relationship to grow from now on, but is it OK to do stuff together occasionally? Or does that only bring problems should you develop feelings again? I'm talking about doing things two or three times a month, should mention that we have some shared friends too.
Well, seems to me like you're on your way to making a platonic male friend
Sooner or later he'll be asking you to watch his house while he and his wife go on Vacation.....are you at risk of developing feelings again? It's okay to hang out with exes, as long as you remember that you broke up for a reason. And if that hanging out is holding you back from meeting new people, it's not a good idea.
Well, seems to me like you're on your way to making a platonic male friend
👍👍👍
always crazy bacon
Banned
If it's been long enough since you guys broke up then sure. The only thing you need to be aware of is not to tell any future partners you dated before.
Not really at risk. We liked doing stuff and have common interests, but I'm not seeing myself living together with her, for that we differ too much in life goals. I don't want to hang out to be able to win her back if that's what your asking. Think I'm not going to actively search again for a new date, since I'm a bit exhausted of dating, but I wouldn't mind meeting some new if the chance comes along.
SmackDaddy
Member
Hey, welcome from the breakup thread before.
It's a numbers thing brother. Keep going! Say hi to everyone. You might even have to do that crappy thing where you tell your buds you need more pics taken of you for dating apps.
Thought I was good, but lawd I am pulled back into the mighty world of weird as fuck experiences dating.
Hello again.
edit: To elaborate a bit. Had amazing first date a little over a week ago, everything was clicking, she was bringing up places to go for the next one, we set up the second date for last weekend. We both had busy work weeks and then by the weekend she had blown me off for apparently a weekend long work party she forgot about (with no attempt to reschedule)...okay.
Fast forward to Monday, girl gives me her number, text a bit, she wants to meet up for a drink today. Later Monday night she opens up that she's emotionally attached to a guy she is not exclusive with and he is seeing/sleeping with other people and hasn't really made an attempt to make it a relationship. I'm really easy going and patient and like meeting people regardless of backgrounds or contexts, so we go anyway (obviously have zero expectations going into it). It ended up being...I don't know what that was but it wasn't a date, but it also wasn't friends hanging out.
My luck is pretty rotten as of late haha.
Hello again.
edit: To elaborate a bit. Had amazing first date a little over a week ago, everything was clicking, she was bringing up places to go for the next one, we set up the second date for last weekend. We both had busy work weeks and then by the weekend she had blown me off for apparently a weekend long work party she forgot about (with no attempt to reschedule)...okay.
Fast forward to Monday, girl gives me her number, text a bit, she wants to meet up for a drink today. Later Monday night she opens up that she's emotionally attached to a guy she is not exclusive with and he is seeing/sleeping with other people and hasn't really made an attempt to make it a relationship. I'm really easy going and patient and like meeting people regardless of backgrounds or contexts, so we go anyway (obviously have zero expectations going into it). It ended up being...I don't know what that was but it wasn't a date, but it also wasn't friends hanging out.
My luck is pretty rotten as of late haha.
Megalosaro
Banned
I think I just got cockblocked.
I was in a Netflix and chill situation. She was ready to come over at 10 pm with a pizza in order to watch Guardians of the galaxy.
My roommate shut it down when I told him. He said he'd move out, that I need to give him 24 hours notice. Yet he can kick everyone out of the apartment when he wants to bring girls over.
I told her wed reschedule for another night.
I was in a Netflix and chill situation. She was ready to come over at 10 pm with a pizza in order to watch Guardians of the galaxy.
My roommate shut it down when I told him. He said he'd move out, that I need to give him 24 hours notice. Yet he can kick everyone out of the apartment when he wants to bring girls over.
I told her wed reschedule for another night.
2Smashed4U
Banned
Hey thanks for the kind words I appreciate it.
So I've gotta ask, I've never been in this situation before but....how does one go about dating while disabled/unemployed? I've been having some health issues, both mental and physical, that I'm working through right now and I'm hoping I can get back into school sooner than later, but it will probably be next year before that happens.
So...what exactly do I tell people about my life situation? I hate being asked where I work or whatever and having to say "oh...I don't right now?", it's just humiliating but...I have legit reasons why I'm not right now. :/
It's just a hard hurdle to get over I feel like, because those kind of things are what comes up first while dating, and I don't really know how to handle that and other things related to health so early on. It's a hard balance of how much to reveal about myself so soon.
timetokill
Banned
Man I wish some other girls would hit me back XD
Well, what do you spend your time doing? Try to frame it with what you are doing instead of what you aren't.
Friend of mine has MS and is physically unable to work. You ask her to introduce herself, she'll mention her activist efforts for handicapped people.
Messofanego
Banned
Why not her place?
2Smashed4U
Banned
Lately it's been therapy, a lot of exercise to help get my muscles and nerves back into good health, various things I'm supposed to be doing to help get past stuff like anxiety and etc. which kind of changes everyday. My life and routine changes kinda day to day at this point!
Megalosaro
Banned
She lives with her (old school religious asian) mom.
Sakura
Member
Wasn't a date before the other times I asked her either.
I'm not expecting anything to happen, but if she has a good time, I figure it would maybe help change her impression a bit or make her more willing to do something in the future.
Sure I get that, but we've never been out together somewhere before. I feel it is hard to develop anything when you can't actually meet in private. Even if my chance is 1% of this going any where, it is better than the 0% before.
And if things don't work out, cool, at least I can use it as experience.
timetokill
Banned
Girl told me after class she didn't sleep last night and she wasn't sure she'd be up to hanging out tonight. I said it was fine and I'd drive her home anyway. Blah. Tentatively set a makeup date for Thursday night which would work better anyway as she doesn't have class the next day, but... well, we'll see.
always crazy bacon
Banned
As if "Hey I've not done anything for your birthday" line didn't trigger anyone already. You're playing the nice guy platonic friend back door gambit, we've got news for you.
Messofanego
Banned
This is "nice guy" territory where you think being friendly with this girl will somehow make her think of you as more than a friend. Unless if you're explicit about your intentions, you're in for a disappointment. If you're fine with seeing her as just a friend and nothing more, then it's alright.
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