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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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Subpar Scrub said:
Where you at brawly?

Edit: oh, Switzerland.

Btw looks like I bought a car. Just a clean, 4 door Getz, but because I use my motorbike 90% of the time I can't really justify the BRZ I want :(
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I've had an FR-S for 3 years. About to trade it in for a sedan. The fun of it isn't worth the impracticality anymore :(
 
I was stood up tonight. :(

I don't get it. She seemed really interested and said she was free Saturday night. I told her lets meet at this cool bar and her last message to me was "Hahaha, you're very smooth! ;) :P Sounds good, I look forward to meeting you. :) "

I show up. She's not there. I wait 10 mins and shoot her a message to say I'm here. Nothing. 30 mins later I send another asking if she's on her way. Nothing. I finally leave after waiting over an hour. What the fuck?
 
SuperBanana said:
I show up. She's not there. I wait 10 mins and shoot her a message to say I'm here. Nothing. 30 mins later I send another asking if she's on her way. Nothing. I finally leave after waiting over an hour. What the fuck?
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Fuck that noise, I would leave after 10 minutes. I'm not letting anyone waste my time like that.
 
Jzero said:
Fuck that noise, I would leave after 10 minutes. I'm not letting anyone waste my time like that.
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10 minutes might mean her missed the train and catching the next but if you want to cancel at least fucking tell me. Wasting my night, wasted my money, and we were planning to get food as well so I didn't have anything prepared for dinner. Fucking rude.
 
SoldierOfLight said:
So it's getting serious. I don't have kids since my ex couldn't have any. But I've considered the whole, if this gets serious then I know I'd be a part of her life as well as her kids. This is where I'm clueless... Has anyone taken the role as a step dad here without having children of their own?
It's getting pretty deep but I personally don't see reason to back away.
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So minus the part about it being too early, my fiancée did this. Her ex-husband was married previously with 2 kids and shared custody with his first wife. She would go to the kids' events and all but never to things like teacher conferences or anything like that, instead yielding to the mom. She'll freely talk about how it wasn't easy but she's also the most pragmatic person I've ever met and just figured she'd handle it.

Once she split with the ex, it got a little tough as while she didn't want kids, she of course became somewhat attached. To use her words, she's more of a mentor now than anything to the kids (now 23ish and 17 respectively).

We're actually going to see her step daughter later this month (and while I like the kids, it's such a strange spot being engaged to the step-mom, adding another layer to it all but we make it work). It sounds cliche, but it's the same for me now as it was for her when she met her ex-- yes you'll cross that bridge when you get to it, but the mindset that worked was just to roll with the punches and it'll come into focus.

Good luck!
 
SuperBanana said:
I was stood up tonight. :(

I don't get it. She seemed really interested and said she was free Saturday night. I told her lets meet at this cool bar and her last message to me was "Hahaha, you're very smooth! ;) :P Sounds good, I look forward to meeting you. :) "

I show up. She's not there. I wait 10 mins and shoot her a message to say I'm here. Nothing. 30 mins later I send another asking if she's on her way. Nothing. I finally leave after waiting over an hour. What the fuck?
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She got a better offer, you got ghosted. You should have only waited 30 minutes if no answer. Then try your luck woth women in the bar instead.
 
always crazy bacon said:
She got a better offer, you got ghosted. You should have only waited 30 minutes if no answer. Then try your luck woth women in the bar instead.
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She was the one who first asked if I wanted to get something to eat together. Who does that then ghosts? I can understand if I asked her out and she was only so-so but when SHE initiates it? Also, she could have at least canceled and saved my time.
 
SuperBanana said:
She was the one who first asked if I wanted to get something to eat together. Who does that then ghosts? I can understand if I asked her out and she was only so-so but when SHE initiates it? Also, she could have at least canceled and saved my time.
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Did you confirm the date on the day itself? It can help to avoid situations like this.
 
Scotch said:
Did you confirm the date on the day itself? It can help to avoid situations like this.
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Yeah. I asked if she was free on the weekend but she picked the day and then said she'd be free at anytime after 7:30 so I said 7:30 sounds good and picked a bar near by. I even asked if it wasn't too far from her and she goes "No that's good. I like that area. :)"

Just seemed super weird how eager she was to then ghost. I mean her last message was literally " I really look forward to meeting you". Whatever the reason it sure ruined my night. :(
 
SuperBanana said:
She was the one who first asked if I wanted to get something to eat together. Who does that then ghosts? I can understand if I asked her out and she was only so-so but when SHE initiates it? Also, she could have at least canceled and saved my time.
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Could still have been for example, a guy she was into more than you.

Your right, should have let you know. If she does not respect your time, she does not respect you. Now delete, block and dont contact her again. Look for someone else.
 
MegaManTrigger said:
I know. It's just that I'm rusty af with my game, so I had to take the time to build up and hype my confidence. Admittedly, that goose egg sticks out a lot mentally than it should. Not that it's an excuse, but it's why I take longer than I should.
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These are bullshit excuses. Don't make the same mistake again, please. And don't try to bullshit some bullshitters in this thread!

SuperBanana said:
I was stood up tonight. :(

I don't get it. She seemed really interested and said she was free Saturday night. I told her lets meet at this cool bar and her last message to me was "Hahaha, you're very smooth! ;) :P Sounds good, I look forward to meeting you. :) "

I show up. She's not there. I wait 10 mins and shoot her a message to say I'm here. Nothing. 30 mins later I send another asking if she's on her way. Nothing. I finally leave after waiting over an hour. What the fuck?
Click to expand...
Did you confirm with her prior to leaving? That would be the play going forward. Say, like, 2 hours before the date. "I'll see you at [place] at [time]. Looking forward to it!" or something short and sweet like that. No reply, start looking for something else to do.[/time]
 
Ron Mexico said:
So minus the part about it being too early, my fiancée did this. Her ex-husband was married previously with 2 kids and shared custody with his first wife. She would go to the kids' events and all but never to things like teacher conferences or anything like that, instead yielding to the mom. She'll freely talk about how it wasn't easy but she's also the most pragmatic person I've ever met and just figured she'd handle it.

Once she split with the ex, it got a little tough as while she didn't want kids, she of course became somewhat attached. To use her words, she's more of a mentor now than anything to the kids (now 23ish and 17 respectively).

We're actually going to see her step daughter later this month (and while I like the kids, it's such a strange spot being engaged to the step-mom, adding another layer to it all but we make it work). It sounds cliche, but it's the same for me now as it was for her when she met her ex-- yes you'll cross that bridge when you get to it, but the mindset that worked was just to roll with the punches and it'll come into focus.

Good luck!
Click to expand...

Cool, very useful and insightful. We had dinner last night and talked about the approach of introducing me to her children in a non invasive manner. We have a pretty good idea as far as going about it especially since a coworker of hers told her what to do and what not to do when introducing a bf to your kids.
It has moved rather fast but imo what kinda makes it all seem evenly paced is the far distance we have in cities. We still see each other often though.
I Hung out at the bar with my coworkers and her last night and they all liked her and she liked them. So far so good.
 
Anyone have some good break up advice (for someone on the receiving end)? Ex-girlfriend just told me that she didn't have any spark anymore. I just feel devastated.
 
I am not getting any matches on Tinder. I used the app back in February without much luck, but this Wednesday I decided to try it out again, by completely deleting my account and starting from scratch (with new pictures and bio).

Can you take a look at my pictures & bio and tell me if you can recognize any reasons why I might not be getting matches? Please PM me to get see the images.

I have been swiping right on a lot of girls the last few days, maybe about 70-80% of them. But so far I haven't received any matches ... I might not be the most attractive guy, but I wouldn't say I am outright ugly (at least I hope so).

Having used the app quite a lot the last couple of days, it has been super depressing to not get any response at all. I have even tried Photofeeler to get an idea of how attractive I look on my profile picture (which game OK results).

I know that Tinder is very shallow etc., but it still makes me sad that I am getting no matches. I live in a quite large city, so that's not the problem. I also have Plus and have been using super likes and boosts a few times.

Thanks a lot in advance!
 
Wikzo said:
I am not getting any matches on Tinder. I used the app back in February without much luck, but this Wednesday I decided to try it out again, by completely deleting my account and starting from scratch (with new pictures and bio).

Can you take a look at my pictures & bio and tell me if you can recognize any reasons why I might not be getting matches? Please PM me to get see the images.

I have been swiping right on a lot of girls the last few days, maybe about 70-80% of them. But so far I haven't received any matches ... I might not be the most attractive guy, but I wouldn't say I am outright ugly (at least I hope so).

Having used the app quite a lot the last couple of days, it has been super depressing to not get any response at all. I have even tried Photofeeler to get an idea of how attractive I look on my profile picture (which game OK results).

I know that Tinder is very shallow etc., but it still makes me sad that I am getting no matches. I live in a quite large city, so that's not the problem. I also have Plus and have been using super likes and boosts a few times.

Thanks a lot in advance!
Click to expand...

Just drop the pics here and get more people's reactions and advice.
 
Met the sisters family last night. I opted not to bring a gift for the neice.

Brother in law tried teaching me how to juggle. That didn't work out too well. I'm kind of clumsy lol. He's a little bit awkward, but seemed cool.

The neice brought her pokemon cards. Her favorite is bayleaf. Not sure why. Chikorita is a bottom tier starter, but I'm not gonna judge a 7 year old's opinion lol. She was shy with me at first, but the moment I stayed talking pokemon, she warmed up. The neice loves her aunt that's for sure. which is cool. Girlfriend tries to play it off cool, but I can tell she adores her neice. I'm sort of the same way with my nephew.

Didn't really talk to the sister that much, but apparently it was a positive impression.
 
Subpar Scrub said:
Where you at brawly?

Edit: oh, Switzerland.

Btw looks like I bought a car. Just a clean, 4 door Getz, but because I use my motorbike 90% of the time I can't really justify the BRZ I want :(
Click to expand...

I'd ditch the motorcycle entirely. While it may be fun to drive, it's so dangerous. Even one minor accident from a car's point of view can be quite severe for a motorcyclist. :(
 
Welp, got to have access to Tinder for about a day. Didn't even have time to get started before Facebook seized my equally old account, and I haven't been able to get a word out of them for over a week as to why. Why isn't Tinder its own thing?

Any decent alternatives that don't rely on Facebook?
 
Pattycakes said:
Anyone have some good break up advice (for someone on the receiving end)? Ex-girlfriend just told me that she didn't have any spark anymore. I just feel devastated.
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It just takes time. I think the most important thing is to recognize that. You can't rush it.
I'd recommend taking some "YOU" time, watching a new series you've been meaning to watch, and try learning a new hobby you've been interested in. It will help the time pass and also engage your mind on other things.
 
Megalosaro said:
Met the sisters family last night. I opted not to bring a gift for the neice.

Brother in law tried teaching me how to juggle. That didn't work out too well. I'm kind of clumsy lol. He's a little bit awkward, but seemed cool.

The neice brought her pokemon cards. Her favorite is bayleaf. Not sure why. Chikorita is a bottom tier starter, but I'm not gonna judge a 7 year old's opinion lol. She was shy with me at first, but the moment I stayed talking pokemon, she warmed up. The neice loves her aunt that's for sure. which is cool. Girlfriend tries to play it off cool, but I can tell she adores her neice. I'm sort of the same way with my nephew.

Didn't really talk to the sister that much, but apparently it was a positive impression.
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Because 7 year olds care about the Pokemon meta 😐

Regardless things still sound good.
 
Ironically it's tilted lately that i'm getting more likes but less responses to my messages, including from folks who liked me :-/
 
Going on a date shortly, at a pub where you can play board games. Should be fun! I'll let you guys know how it goes.

Oh also I've apparently lost like 8 lbs this month since I started going to the gym 2-3 times a week. rickandmorty_feelsgood.gif
 
So why do a bunch of girls have that generic raptor hand pose? You know the one. Where they lift up their hand and bend their fingers, sometimes their wrists and look all mysterious or some shit. My friends and I were discussing it yesterday and we hate it. It makes them look generic or basic. I think it's part of the reason some of them start to just all look the same on Tinder and the like. It's crazy to me how so many girls have this exact same pose.
 
timetokill said:
Going on a date shortly, at a pub where you can play board games. Should be fun! I'll let you guys know how it goes.

Oh also I've apparently lost like 8 lbs this month since I started going to the gym 2-3 times a week. rickandmorty_feelsgood.gif
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I hear pub with board games and now you have my attention. What pub? What board games?

I love board games.

The girlfriend is coming over my apartment tomorrow. We saw Rogue One last night. She said she hadn't seen Episode 7. She asked a lot of questions regarding the privacy of my bedroom. Hmm... she wanted to make sure a) we were watching it in my room and b) I have my own room. Then she was happy with both answers. I should point out this is the first time she will be in my place.

:)

I'vd known for a while now that she is amazing. It only solidified that opinion when
she thought Rogue One was good and that it was cool that they killed off the entire cast.

<3 <3 <3
 
Megalosaro said:
The girlfriend is coming over my apartment tomorrow. We saw Rogue One last night. She said she hadn't seen Episode 7. She asked a lot of questions regarding the privacy of my bedroom. Hmm... she wanted to make sure a) we were watching it in my room and b) I have my own room. Then she was happy with both answers. I should point out this is the first time she will be in my place.

:)

I'vd known for a while now that she is amazing. It only solidified that opinion when
she thought Rogue One was good and that it was cool that they killed off the entire cast.

<3 <3 <3
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4bdadbdf02705d7c850d512f1a7072b2.gif
 
The other night I was invited out by a friend. She was with a couple other friends (all women), one of them being someone I had asked out (in the past few months). Anyway, I was pretty sober by the time we all headed home. She (the one I had previously asked out) wanted to "see [my] apartment" (she's goofy, so this may have not meant anything). She was pretty hammered, so I turned her down. A bunch of people have called me an idiot for doing this, but it seemed a) not right b) like a potential mess. Thoughts?
 
Kieli said:
I'd ditch the motorcycle entirely. While it may be fun to drive, it's so dangerous. Even one minor accident from a car's point of view can be quite severe for a motorcyclist. :(
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Yes, thank you mum. Never took that into consideration &#128530;

Nah, I love it too much. I'm very wary of other drivers as my day job involves like 6 hours of driving usually and I see idiots all over the road. Never ridden without full Kevlar, leathers and armour on every part of my body lol.
 
We are friend with benefits with this girl, she doesn't want a serious relationship, she was mas at me because i go out with a out with a friend(she), i did nothing we are only friends, then i explained all, she understands, then she go out to drinks with a friend(he), the friend kiss her, she told me, i was mad, she sorry so much, i told her we should talk tomorrow.

I dont know what to do, i really like her im so pissed about her, she was so offender because i was out with a really old friend and she goes out and a random dude kiss her.
 
thesoapster said:
The other night I was invited out by a friend. She was with a couple other friends (all women), one of them being someone I had asked out (in the past few months). Anyway, I was pretty sober by the time we all headed home. She (the one I had previously asked out) wanted to "see [my] apartment" (she's goofy, so this may have not meant anything). She was pretty hammered, so I turned her down. A bunch of people have called me an idiot for doing this, but it seemed a) not right b) like a potential mess. Thoughts?
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from 1-10 how hammered she was?
 
Any amount of drunk is too drunk as far as legal implications go (or should go), in the regard of blocking what could potentially have been a bad situation you did the right thing, though there's a lot of buts in that (assuming that you weren't inclined to push for sex and that she wasn't either, there was an opportunity for bonding at least).
 
thesoapster said:
She was pretty hammered, so I turned her down. A bunch of people have called me an idiot for doing this, but it seemed a) not right b) like a potential mess. Thoughts?
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That foreign girl I was talking about like 50 pages ago took an uber to my place while drunk AF one night like 3 weeks ago and seemed sort of ticked off that I organised one for her to get home again. I was also drunk but sober enough to say "yeah nah".

It's hard to gauge how far gone someone is if it's your first time seeing them drinking. If you believe they were too drunk for you to feel comfortable about getting physical and you turned down their advances because of that, then that's a good thing imo. In my experience, it's pretty case-to-case whether or not I'm comfortable being with a girl who has been drinking.

PhaZZe said:
snip
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You're friends with benefits, you don't really have a justifiable reason to be upset and neither does she when you hang out with your friends. If being FWB is being too stressful and both of you want to be exclusive, lock down the relationship, otherwise just break it off. No reason to be stressing over a fuck buddy.
 
Astral said:
I'm guessing this has something to do with you letting your ex stay with you.
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Ehhhhh. Maybe. Lol.

Im glad I could help her out but it was definitely throwing salt in the wound. She is a mess and its making me a mess. I know its probably best for me to just walk away from it all but I never make the right decisions. Im used to it at this point. Its an experience...

She loves me and hates me and I love and hate her at the same time as well. Its great.
 
thesoapster said:
The other night I was invited out by a friend. She was with a couple other friends (all women), one of them being someone I had asked out (in the past few months). Anyway, I was pretty sober by the time we all headed home. She (the one I had previously asked out) wanted to "see [my] apartment" (she's goofy, so this may have not meant anything). She was pretty hammered, so I turned her down. A bunch of people have called me an idiot for doing this, but it seemed a) not right b) like a potential mess. Thoughts?
Click to expand...
Drunk girls and sex are not worth it.
 
Anyone have this problem, maybe it's common with online dating? On average I managed to get 2-3 dates a month or so which I'm very happy with. But most of the women I'm meeting lose interest after one date. Not all but with most of them it feels like I never had a chance with even though they liked my pictures and talking to me online. Makes me think that either my pictures are too good or my personality is shit haha.
 
SuperBanana said:
I was stood up tonight. :(

I don't get it. She seemed really interested and said she was free Saturday night. I told her lets meet at this cool bar and her last message to me was "Hahaha, you're very smooth! ;) :P Sounds good, I look forward to meeting you. :) "

I show up. She's not there. I wait 10 mins and shoot her a message to say I'm here. Nothing. 30 mins later I send another asking if she's on her way. Nothing. I finally leave after waiting over an hour. What the fuck?
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Unbelievably fucking rude. Sorry dude. That is so fucked up.

:-(
 
Field said:
Anyone have this problem, maybe it's common with online dating? On average I managed to get 2-3 dates a month or so which I'm very happy with. But most of the women I'm meeting lose interest after one date. Not all but with most of them it feels like I never had a chance with even though they liked my pictures and talking to me online. Makes me think that either my pictures are too good or my personality is shit haha.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't take it personally. That's just how it goes.
 
Field said:
Anyone have this problem, maybe it's common with online dating? On average I managed to get 2-3 dates a month or so which I'm very happy with. But most of the women I'm meeting lose interest after one date. Not all but with most of them it feels like I never had a chance with even though they liked my pictures and talking to me online. Makes me think that either my pictures are too good or my personality is shit haha.
Click to expand...

That is pretty normal unfortunatly, just got to move on. Whenever I go out with a woman I really like and then never get another date I always tend to overthink the previous date and either think I didn't show enough interest or was boring. Best thing to do is just be the best version of yourself and keep trying and eventually you'll find someone.
 
Field said:
Anyone have this problem, maybe it's common with online dating? On average I managed to get 2-3 dates a month or so which I'm very happy with. But most of the women I'm meeting lose interest after one date. Not all but with most of them it feels like I never had a chance with even though they liked my pictures and talking to me online. Makes me think that either my pictures are too good or my personality is shit haha.
Click to expand...
I'm on the same one date wonder boat too having been on several dates this year. I've yet to go on a second date. Nothing you can do but roll with the punches and keep on trucking and I have solid pictures. There are some girls that I ghosted by choice because they were on their phones on the date. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you because it could be for a whole host of factors e.g. girl asked roommates for advice and was told to move on or you remind them of an ex, etc.

If you really want to, then you can change something about yourself that you feel is holding you back. I'm trying to be more present in the moment and be an active listener rather than dominate the conversation. Old habits die hard. Otherwise as cliché as it is, you can keep being yourself. There's an episode of Paging Dr. Nerdlove that goes into this.
 
Astral said:
So why do a bunch of girls have that generic raptor hand pose? You know the one. Where they lift up their hand and bend their fingers, sometimes their wrists and look all mysterious or some shit. My friends and I were discussing it yesterday and we hate it. It makes them look generic or basic. I think it's part of the reason some of them start to just all look the same on Tinder and the like. It's crazy to me how so many girls have this exact same pose.
Click to expand...

Uh, what?

I think I need a visual example, no clue what you're talking about.

LookAtMeGo said:
Fuck this shit. Women are the devil. Im going gay.
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Let me know how Grindr works out for you

:p
 
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