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haxan7 said:
My favorite is a load of semen
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Yp6hUBZ.jpg

Answer for your crimes
 
"Mercy cannot rob justice."

"How is an infinite punishment justice for a finite indiscretion?"

Yet to get an answer for that…and I'm about to cum
 
Man, we somehow got the horniest asexual person there ever was.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'll buy you a couple pints sometime S Star-Lord , just don't start humping my leg plz.
 
Dear GAF diary: I love how every holiday is a daycare holiday but not necessarily a work holiday if you don't work at a bank.

However, the kids went and stayed with their aunt last night so you better believe I had the sex
twice
 
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Do you know how in movies you always see the guys with office jobs drinking? Was this ever really a thing? Did executives literally have full bars in their offices? Do detectives really keep a bottle of jack in their desks?
 
OmegaSupreme said:
Do you know how in movies you always see the guys with office jobs drinking? Was this ever really a thing? Did executives literally have full bars in their offices? Do detectives really keep a bottle of jack in their desks?
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My manager has a bottle of gin under his desk at all times. When it runs empty, he buys another one. In all the years I've worked there, I've never known him to not have a bottle under his desk. I've had a couple of drinks with him in the office towards the end of shift after a particularly stressful day.
 
MrFancypants said:
My manager has a bottle of gin under his desk at all times. When it runs empty, he buys another one. In all the years I've worked there, I've never known him to not have a bottle under his desk. I've had a couple of drinks with him in the office towards the end of shift after a particularly stressful day.
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My industry is great fun for me but it involves a lot of thoughtful work on computers, I'd fall asleep at lunch if i drunk a drop lol
 
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I started a Friday tradition of going to get wings and having a pitcher of beer for lunch at an old place of employment. Somehow HR caught wind of it and updated their policies where .05% BAC would be considered intoxicated at work, and they started random drug screenings.

That's not the reason I left but god, am I glad I don't work there any more…and for those that remained:

 
Tschumi said:
My industry is great fun for me but it involves a lot of thoughtful work on computers, I'd fall asleep at lunch if i drunk a drop lol
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I work in the finance sector, so naturally deal with a lot of utter arseholes. Having a stiff drink either before or after a meeting is pretty much par for the course.
 
Maiden Voyage said:
I had a job where we kept beer & liquor and were free to drink after 4pm.
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a few years ago before WeWork crapped its pants, they had a fully stocked craft beer fridge that was open to everyone with a membership. That was before I stopped drinking. I used to go there a couple days a week and stayed drunk pretty much the whole day.
 
Thaedolus said:
Dear GAF diary: I love how every holiday is a daycare holiday but not necessarily a work holiday if you don't work at a bank.

However, the kids went and stayed with their aunt last night so you better believe I had the sex
twice
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I have two questions.
How old is your youngest? And I was wondering...does everyone know you want to have sex when you give your kids away for a night? Is it like "I know exactly what you two are up to"

Aidy Bryant Snl GIF by Saturday Night Live
 
Peggies said:
I have two questions.
How old is your youngest? And I was wondering...does everyone know you want to have sex when you give your kids away for a night? Is it like "I know exactly what you two are up to"

Aidy Bryant Snl GIF by Saturday Night Live
Click to expand...
Youngest just turned a year.

The second question…I dunno. Did we use the weird holiday nobody gets off as an excuse to give the kids to someone else and bang? Maybe. Did it also involve the live action Ninja Turtles (1990)? Absolutely.
 
Had a job that celebrated end of month with strippers, whores and coke. I'm not joking.

The start of every month everyone was broke, looking back it was a smart move as if you didn't earn you didn't eat.

The smart people bought motorbikes and flash cars and just sat behind their desk laughing. The rest ... they had to go home empty handed.

ABC.
 
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