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[Ionian]

I can believe that, I had a boss that would buy me high end whores and an accompanying hotel room for my convenience. He’ d be in another room with his own whore. I don’t think it was an official monthly performance bonus though.

Ha! Had the same experience in London. Top hotel, a conveyor belt of top whores and coke. Him in the bed, me in the other room. He chopped up a large portion and sent me off to enjoy the nightlife with one. Bitch brought me to a D'N'B club that nearly shattered my ear drums. I lost her quickly and escaped, it was a terrible buzz. Get back to the hotel and like magic she turned up. He was annoyed I ditched her so got me a new one. (Sounds terrible but really all I did was talk, was like a free night out with drugs and zero sex and massive money. Boss knew the madame and she was on speed dial). Coke will do that to you, especially when you're givin a mountain of it. I quit pretty soon after. Was my wake-up call. It was death by starvation or heart attack and I'd gotten sick of the downtime afterwards. It's a young mans game and I could pick up birds anyway, just a waste of health and money.

Was awesome though, lived the dream for a brief time. If anyone finds an infinite health and money code for the game genie, I may reconsider.

 

[Star-Lord]

Plus his magnum sized dong.

A magnum? Pff, that’s nothing.

 

[haxan7]

A magnum? Pff, that’s nothing.

i like the really big ones too

 

[Star-Lord]

i like the really big ones too

I like that it has a sight to help me aim my various bodily fluids.

 

[haxan7]

I like that it has a sight to help me aim my various bodily fluids.

mine shoot with such laser precision that a sight would only get in the way

 

[Richard Packer]

Maybe you should start taking out the garbage to get a little exercise?

I live a life of luxury.

 

[Rentahamster]

A magnum? Pff, that’s nothing.

Is that what you're carrying in your fancy pants?

 

[Rentahamster]

I live a life of luxury.

 

[Star-Lord]

Is that what you're carrying in your fancy pants?

If you know, you know.

 

[Rentahamster]

If you know, you know.

But I don't know.

I need visual AIDS.

 

[Star-Lord]

But I don't know.

I need visual AIDS.

Subscribe to my OnlyFans.

 

[Rentahamster]

Subscribe to my OnlyFans.

I did when you were still asexual. I saw a box of stamps, two jars of expired mustard, and a vague silhouette of what I can only assume was your elbow.

 

[Star-Lord]

I did when you were still asexual. I saw a box of stamps, two jars of expired mustard, and a vague silhouette of what I can only assume was your elbow.

You missed the best part, where I’d sit on a variety of cakes and fart the bits out. My next venture is dipping my dong in jars of jam and spreading it on toast and muffins and buns.

 

[haxan7]

You missed the best part, where I’d sit on a variety of cakes and fart the bits out. My next venture is dipping my dong in jars of jam and spreading it on toast and muffins and buns.

 

[Rentahamster]

You missed the best part, where I’d sit on a variety of cakes and fart the bits out. My next venture is dipping my dong in jars of jam and spreading it on toast and muffins and buns.

*unsubscribed*

 

[Thaedolus]

This really is the gif for all occasions, god bless you for sharing, Dick.

 

[Star-Lord]

*unsubscribed*

What are you on about, it’s Quality Content™.

 

[haxan7]

What are you on about, it’s Quality Content™.

 

[Rentahamster]

What are you on about, it’s Quality Content™.

Art is subjective

 

[Star-Lord]

Art is subjective

And beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and other cliche positivity-producing quotes. I just like to sit on cakes and fart. There’s nothing subjective about it.

 

[Thaedolus]

And beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and other cliche positivity-producing quotes. I just like to sit on cakes and fart. There’s nothing subjective about it.

Did you miss the Saria twerking gif? Let’s all chill out

 

[Maiden Voyage]

 

[Star-Lord]

Did you miss the Saria twerking gif? Let’s all chill out

I was only [half] joking in my posts.

 

[Thaedolus]

I was only [half] joking in my posts.

This is Meta GAF, not half joking GAF. I…would never post anything less than full seriousness in here. How dare you.

 

[haxan7]

This is Meta GAF, not half joking GAF. I…would never post anything less than full seriousness in here. How dare you.

 

[Rentahamster]

And beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and other cliche positivity-producing quotes. I just like to sit on cakes and fart. There’s nothing subjective about it.

 

[Thaedolus]

 

[Star-Lord]

This is Meta GAF, not half joking GAF. I…would never post anything less than full seriousness in here. How dare you.

Sorry, daddy, I won’t do it again.

 

[haxan7]

using the Halloween theme I see

 

[Thaedolus]

using the Halloween theme I see

I actually did a screen recording of me zooming in on the report button and typing that out, but I'm too old and retarded to figure out how to post that when I got other shit to do.

 

[haxan7]

I actually did a screen recording of me zooming in on the report button and typing that out, but I'm too old and retarded to figure out how to post that when I got other shit to do.

I deserved it

 

[Rentahamster]

"guy"

 

[nush]

ah, we’ve reached the “I’m going to text my husband about whatever shit on my to do list I want him to get done” part of the day…

This is why I never tell women I live with if I have a day off and she still has to work. You get the list of man jobs to do, that the didn't give a fuck about the previous weekend or will care about the following weekend. It's like they think "He's getting paid for this so he won't mind as he'd usually be working anyway".

 

[Thaedolus]

"guy"

Maybe I know more about haxan7 than you do...

This is why I never tell women I live with if I have a day off and she still has to work. You get the list of man jobs to do, that the didn't give a fuck about the previous weekend or will care about the following weekend. It's like they think "He's getting paid for this so he won't mind as he'd usually be working anyway".

It's really amazing to me how the second I feel like I have a break or gap in the schedule, someone...who I love dearly....finds out and tries to fill it up. To her credit, she does try to schedule times where I get to just watch stupid shit and beat off...but apparently 12 times a day is too much to ask for...

 

[Rentahamster]

Maybe I know more about haxan7 than you do...

It's really amazing to me how the second I feel like I have a break or gap in the schedule, someone...who I love dearly....finds out and tries to fill it up. To her credit, she does try to schedule times where I get to just watch stupid shit and beat off...but apparently 12 times a day is too much to ask for...

Start your negotiations with 15 and then settle for 12.

#theartofthedeal

 

[nush]

Maybe I know more about haxan7 than you do...

It's really amazing to me how the second I feel like I have a break or gap in the schedule, someone...who I love dearly....finds out and tries to fill it up. To her credit, she does try to schedule times where I get to just watch stupid shit and beat off...but apparently 12 times a day is too much to ask for...

You're already looking after two young kids, imagine if she was a stay at home mum and you started scheduling jobs for her to do. I bet that wouldn't go down so well.

 

[haxan7]

 

[Kilau]

It's funny because when we did the gender ultrasound for our daughter that's how the tech referred to her privates, a hamburger.

 

[Maiden Voyage]

It's funny because when we did the gender ultrasound for our daughter that's how the tech referred to her privates, a hamburger.

Was the ultrasound a boy or a girl?

 

[Kilau]

Was the ultrasound a boy or a girl?

I didn’t gender the ultrasound, I’m not a literal nazi.

 

[Thaedolus]

Our tech said “that looks like a perfect little vagina.”

I said “wat…?”

 

[Star-Lord]

Our tech said “that looks like a perfect little vagina.”

I said “wat…?”

I’m assuming the next time you saw him was on Dateline or similar.

 

[Thaedolus]

I’m assuming the next time you saw him was on Dateline or similar.

Awkshuuuallly it was a female POC, check your privilege and shit

 

[Richard Packer]

 

[haxan7]

Awkshuuuallly it was a female POC, check your privilege and shit

 

[Thaedolus]

I really couldn’t imagine a better person to be shoving a probe up my wife’s vagina and watching me tear up when I saw that first ultrasound, she was really amazing.

 

[OmegaSupreme]

Star Crunch is the best little debbie snack. Change my mind.

 

[Star-Lord]

Awkshuuuallly it was a female POC, check your privilege and shit

My privilege? You’re chatting utter bollocks, mate.

 

[haxan7]

My privilege? You’re chatting utter bollocks, mate.

 

[Thaedolus]

My privilege? You’re chatting utter bollocks, mate.

I would never!