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[Thaedolus]

Is that the face your partner makes when you prematurely ejaculate?

 

[Richard Packer]

My favorite projectile is a fireball better known as a 'hadouken.'

 

[haxan7]

My favorite projectile is a fireball better known as a 'hadouken.'

My favorite is a load of semen

 

[Thaedolus]

My favorite is a load of semen

Answer for your crimes

 

[Star-Lord]

She has a cute smile and a great pair of tiddies, but she’s related to that cunt, Ben Shapiro. It’s a hard pass.

 

[Thaedolus]

She has a cute smile and a great pair of tiddies, but she’s related to that cunt, Ben Shapiro. It’s a hard pass.

it’s a real Janet Jackson scenario

 

[haxan7]

Answer for your crimes

my god, she has enough milk to feed 10 babies at once

 

[haxan7]

 

[Thaedolus]

“Mercy cannot rob justice.”

“How is an infinite punishment justice for a finite indiscretion?”

Yet to get an answer for that…and I’m about to cum

 

[haxan7]

“Mercy cannot rob justice.”

“How is an infinite punishment justice for a finite indiscretion?”

Yet to get an answer for that…and I’m about to cum

I busted 11 times already today

 

[Thaedolus]

I busted 11 times already today

11 eternities of hell for you!!!

What’s the difference between 11 eternities and 1?

10 you fucking idiot

 

[IbizaPocholo]

 

[OmegaSupreme]

Answer for your crimes

I thought she got them reduced? Did a bun in the oven blow them back up? Must investigate further...

EDIT. Completely unrelated but

 

[Rentahamster]

 

[Rentahamster]

Shoutouts to Tschumi the MVP of the Winter Olympics thread that nobody watched.

 

[Tschumi]

Shoutouts to Tschumi the MVP of the Winter Olympics thread that nobody watched.

I'm gonna keep bumping it til march, with updates on the fallout from all the doping and informative posts on Italy

 

[Star-Lord]

I thought she got them reduced? Did a bun in the oven blow them back up? Must investigate further...

I Googled her breasts, for research purposes I assure you, and she had surgery to remove a lump. There were rumours about a reduction though. Praise the lord she didn’t.

 

[Thaedolus]

Man, we somehow got the horniest asexual person there ever was.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’ll buy you a couple pints sometime S Star-Lord , just don’t start humping my leg plz.

 

[haxan7]

Man, we somehow got the horniest asexual person there ever was.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’ll buy you a couple pints sometime S Star-Lord , just don’t start humping my leg plz.

true but I'm still the horniest demisexual pansexual polyamorous lesbian bisexual male to female transexual neogaf has ever known.

 

[Thaedolus]

true but I'm still the horniest demisexual pansexual polyamorous lesbian bisexual male to female transexual neogaf has ever known.

We’re gonna need some objective metrics here

 

[haxan7]

We’re gonna need some objective metrics here

Questioning my sexual orientation? You're askin' for a cancelin'

 

[Richard Packer]

Questioning my sexual orientation? You're askin' for a cancelin'

Shut the fuck up.

 

[Rentahamster]

We’re gonna need some objective metrics here

I brought a ruler, a Pyrex measuring cup, and my private collection of standardized butt plugs that increase in size every 2cm.

 

[Star-Lord]

Man, we somehow got the horniest asexual person there ever was.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’ll buy you a couple pints sometime S Star-Lord , just don’t start humping my leg plz.

It was mainly Mia Khalifa who reawakened my sexual appetite, but I’ll let you take a fraction of the credit if it makes you feel better.

 

[Thaedolus]

I brought a ruler, a Pyrex measuring cup, and my private collection of standardized butt plugs that increase in size every 2cm.

 

[Rentahamster]

It was mainly Mia Khalifa who reawakened my sexual appetite, but I’ll let you take a fraction of the credit if it makes you feel better.

Don't leave me hanging bro

 

[haxan7]

It was mainly Mia Khalifa who reawakened my sexual appetite, but I’ll let you take a fraction of the credit if it makes you feel better.

Her nipples look like 2 glued on pepperonis

 

[Rentahamster]

I'll gladly put that on my pizza

 

[haxan7]

Shut the fuck up.

 

[Star-Lord]

Her nipples look like 2 glued on pepperonis

I’m not seeing a problem there.

 

[Rentahamster]

Pepperoni fan confirmed

 

[Star-Lord]

Pepperoni fan confirmed

Who doesn’t love a spicy sausage?

 

[SoggyBiscuit]

how are all my favourite perverts and degenerates?

 

[Star-Lord]

how are all my favourite perverts and degenerates?

All the best people in the world are perverts and degenerates. It makes life a little more interesting.

 

[Thaedolus]

Dear GAF diary: I love how every holiday is a daycare holiday but not necessarily a work holiday if you don’t work at a bank.

However, the kids went and stayed with their aunt last night so you better believe I had the sex

Spoiler

twice

 

[Peggies]

Dear GAF diary: I love how every holiday is a daycare holiday but not necessarily a work holiday if you don’t work at a bank.

However, the kids went and stayed with their aunt last night so you better believe I had the sex

Spoiler

twice

 

[Peggies]

how are all my favourite perverts and degenerates?

Just watched the new "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and found it quite entertaining.

 

[OmegaSupreme]

Do you know how in movies you always see the guys with office jobs drinking? Was this ever really a thing? Did executives literally have full bars in their offices? Do detectives really keep a bottle of jack in their desks?

 

[Star-Lord]

Do you know how in movies you always see the guys with office jobs drinking? Was this ever really a thing? Did executives literally have full bars in their offices? Do detectives really keep a bottle of jack in their desks?

My manager has a bottle of gin under his desk at all times. When it runs empty, he buys another one. In all the years I’ve worked there, I’ve never known him to not have a bottle under his desk. I’ve had a couple of drinks with him in the office towards the end of shift after a particularly stressful day.

 

[Tschumi]

My manager has a bottle of gin under his desk at all times. When it runs empty, he buys another one. In all the years I’ve worked there, I’ve never known him to not have a bottle under his desk. I’ve had a couple of drinks with him in the office towards the end of shift after a particularly stressful day.

My industry is great fun for me but it involves a lot of thoughtful work on computers, I'd fall asleep at lunch if i drunk a drop lol

 

[Thaedolus]

I started a Friday tradition of going to get wings and having a pitcher of beer for lunch at an old place of employment. Somehow HR caught wind of it and updated their policies where .05% BAC would be considered intoxicated at work, and they started random drug screenings.

That’s not the reason I left but god, am I glad I don’t work there any more…and for those that remained:

 

[Star-Lord]

My industry is great fun for me but it involves a lot of thoughtful work on computers, I'd fall asleep at lunch if i drunk a drop lol

I work in the finance sector, so naturally deal with a lot of utter arseholes. Having a stiff drink either before or after a meeting is pretty much par for the course.

 

[Maiden Voyage]

Do you know how in movies you always see the guys with office jobs drinking? Was this ever really a thing? Did executives literally have full bars in their offices? Do detectives really keep a bottle of jack in their desks?

I had a job where we kept beer & liquor and were free to drink after 4pm.

 

[haxan7]

I had a job where we kept beer & liquor and were free to drink after 4pm.

a few years ago before WeWork crapped its pants, they had a fully stocked craft beer fridge that was open to everyone with a membership. That was before I stopped drinking. I used to go there a couple days a week and stayed drunk pretty much the whole day.

 

[Peggies]

Dear GAF diary: I love how every holiday is a daycare holiday but not necessarily a work holiday if you don’t work at a bank.

However, the kids went and stayed with their aunt last night so you better believe I had the sex

Spoiler

twice

I have two questions.
How old is your youngest? And I was wondering...does everyone know you want to have sex when you give your kids away for a night? Is it like "I know exactly what you two are up to"

 

[Star-Lord]

I had a job where we kept beer & liquor and were free to drink after 4pm.

That job sounds fun.

I like that job.

I want that job.

 

[Thaedolus]

I have two questions.
How old is your youngest? And I was wondering...does everyone know you want to have sex when you give your kids away for a night? Is it like "I know exactly what you two are up to"

Youngest just turned a year.

The second question…I dunno. Did we use the weird holiday nobody gets off as an excuse to give the kids to someone else and bang? Maybe. Did it also involve the live action Ninja Turtles (1990)? Absolutely.

 

[Ionian]

Had a job that celebrated end of month with strippers, whores and coke. I'm not joking.

The start of every month everyone was broke, looking back it was a smart move as if you didn't earn you didn't eat.

The smart people bought motorbikes and flash cars and just sat behind their desk laughing. The rest ... they had to go home empty handed.

ABC.

 

[Maiden Voyage]

That job sounds fun.

I like that job.

I want that job.

The pay was shit. Everything else was fantastic.

 

[Peggies]

Youngest just turned a year.

The second question…I dunno. Did we use the weird holiday nobody gets off as an excuse to give the kids to someone else and bang? Maybe. Did it also involve the live action Ninja Turtles (1990)? Absolutely.

"Get off" hihi