Dirk Benedict
Member
Mother fucker just needs to be up front with her. That's it. Let the rest take its course.
I think my girlfriend is cheating on me , should i just break up with her ?
- Thread starter samoilaaa
- Start date
samoilaaa
Member
shes 25 im 34
Unfortunatecookie
Member
Unless her job title is Chief Flirting Officer, you're not being paranoid.
Assuming everything you said is true, engaged or not, her behavior when you're not around tells you everything. It is the reddest of flags that in the time & space where you are around the least, she is trying to get around the most.
She's not going on lunch breaks alone or booping the office dog or doing squats in-between meetings. Those are harmless behavior traits. She is talking to and feeling up other men. Those are measurably harmful. People have been hurt and killed for starting workplace romances with other people's lovers.
She's being sloppy as well; she knows you have someone 'on the inside' and she's still being publicly touchy feely with men who are not you. Sloppy, uncaring, clueless-person behavior.
What you need to figure out are three things:
1) How to get your ring back
2) What to buy your friend as a thank you for saving your future
3) What to do with the free time that will show up after becoming single again
Good luck!
FalconPunch
Member
I think this comes down to a matter of self respect and respect for your partner. Based on the information I've read in this thread, I already consider the behavior to be cheating. More importantly, it's completely disrespectful to me and I can't have a woman around that doesn't respect me.
I hate to say it but you chose extremely poorly when selecting a potential life partner. She has gems in her teeth, posting scantily clad photos online, shaking her ass tk the whole world? Yea that doesn't sound like wife material at all. That's a pump and dump. Im speaking from experience. A woman has in today's environment has access to every part of society and can choose how she presents herself to the world. She chose under no pressure from anyone to present herself to the world in that way. That is already a giant red flag. Think about the type of person that would do that? What thought process they go through to arrive at the conclusion that presenting themselves in that manner would be good?
She may be very attractive but, attractiveness fades very fast with age. For your peace of mind, I'd strongly suggest planning your exit strategy. When a woman behaves like this, it reflects very poorly on you. In this case, I'd suggest doing what women do and emotionally break up internally with her before you actually do so. Just get started on your grieving process now, so that when you're ready to physically exit, you can move on. You've already spoken to her and she's dismissed and downplayed your concerns. Bringing it up further will only make the situation at home worse.
Finally, in the future, choose better women. You're 34 and interested in getting married. The girl you described is not even wife material and you should know that...
EDIT: To deal with the apartment issue, assuming it's all paid off in cash, you can get a loan to buy her out from the bank.You mentioned it's 70k euro so I hope to God you both didn't take a loan for that paltry amount.
I hate to say it but you chose extremely poorly when selecting a potential life partner. She has gems in her teeth, posting scantily clad photos online, shaking her ass tk the whole world? Yea that doesn't sound like wife material at all. That's a pump and dump. Im speaking from experience. A woman has in today's environment has access to every part of society and can choose how she presents herself to the world. She chose under no pressure from anyone to present herself to the world in that way. That is already a giant red flag. Think about the type of person that would do that? What thought process they go through to arrive at the conclusion that presenting themselves in that manner would be good?
She may be very attractive but, attractiveness fades very fast with age. For your peace of mind, I'd strongly suggest planning your exit strategy. When a woman behaves like this, it reflects very poorly on you. In this case, I'd suggest doing what women do and emotionally break up internally with her before you actually do so. Just get started on your grieving process now, so that when you're ready to physically exit, you can move on. You've already spoken to her and she's dismissed and downplayed your concerns. Bringing it up further will only make the situation at home worse.
Finally, in the future, choose better women. You're 34 and interested in getting married. The girl you described is not even wife material and you should know that...
EDIT: To deal with the apartment issue, assuming it's all paid off in cash, you can get a loan to buy her out from the bank.You mentioned it's 70k euro so I hope to God you both didn't take a loan for that paltry amount.
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IDKFA
I am Become Bilbo Baggins
Before we jump to conclusions, do you trust your friend?
Chances could be slim here, but there is a chance your friend is making it up or making it sound worse than it actually is.
Something to consider before you throw away your relationship.
samoilaaa
Member
she said that she did all those things and its just friendly , i told her that im uncomfortable knowing that some guy grabbed her by the ankle or her asking him " are you trying to dominate me ? " and she said that i have nothing to worry about and that she loves me and would never cheat on me
Avid Reading Horse
Member
Not a great answer from her, but you gotta sort out how you really feel about her, what kind of prospects you have outside of her, and how high on the cuckometer you're willing to go. And anything over 0% cuckery is dangerous.
samoilaaa
Member
yeah , im thinking just gonna leave , i dont care about the apartment , she can keep it , i dont need this in my life right now . I want family , kids , a great home
This fucking sucks , you think everything is going great , you have this loving beautiful woman at home and you find out that she need attention from other guys too , i have 3 women at work and i would never dare to touch them and they never touched me , we make jokes we laugh but nothing sexual or flirty , and they dont flirt with the other guys either
I keep asking myself what more can i do , what is missing in her life that i could add
I know that maybe she didnt fuck anyone but its still on my mind
FalconPunch
Member
Well can't be surprised at the answer from her. She loves attention and he knew that from day 1. The problem for him is that, he looks to be the weaker one in this whole relationship. By that I mean, the balance of power lies with her. That's why she can even dare to try this shit. She knows she can get away with it. If the balance of power was in his side and she was really into him, she wouldn't dare for fear of getting dropped. I don't think she believes that she can be easily replaced.
Imagine giving someone a ring/pre contract and they're behaving like this,... I know for sure that the contract is getting terminated asap.
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IDKFA
I am Become Bilbo Baggins
Not the best response.
I doubt she would be cool with you flirting with another women.
FalconPunch
Member
What part of Europe are you from and what part is she from?
Lambogenie
Member
I will never understand long term engagements.
She sounds sus. Talk with her properly and explain your boundaries. Her actions go beyond most people, not to mention unprofessional, you make it sound like she works in retail vs more profession settings.
If you can't align on boundaries, make a decision. She's likely to not like your thoughts and call you controlling. In that case I'd seriously start preparing to break up, if I were you. There is a chance that she's just not that self aware, but I really doubt it
She sounds sus. Talk with her properly and explain your boundaries. Her actions go beyond most people, not to mention unprofessional, you make it sound like she works in retail vs more profession settings.
If you can't align on boundaries, make a decision. She's likely to not like your thoughts and call you controlling. In that case I'd seriously start preparing to break up, if I were you. There is a chance that she's just not that self aware, but I really doubt it
samoilaaa
Member
we are both from romania
Trilobit
Absolutely Cozy
And those are the things the friend has caught her doing. Who knows if there's more.
TastyPastry
Member
it certainly sounds like she doesn't respect you OP
demigod
Member
Giving it to her scott free? You ok with her smashing another dude in the apartment that you half paid?
Kaachan
Member
samoilaaa
Member
we didnt pay for it , i dont how to call it , we are monthly payments for it for 20 years and we payed 3 months , its nothing for me , she can keep it and pay for it
Nocty
Member
so there is your answer then, as long as she is not cheating who cares? if it bothers you that much then politely tell her it makes you uncomfortable, and that you leave it up to her if she thinks that is appropriate or not. If she chooses to respect your feelings shes a keeper, if not well you got a decision to make
Bojji
Member
Not so great response...
I think if she is not cheating on you right now there still a chance to fix this relationship. You need to define clear boundaries, "are you trying to dominate me?". YES! Sometimes you need to get very serious with woman and be very assertive. Question is, is it worth it? She is still very young so maybe there is no way to calm her instincts - and she is clearly influenced by western women.
I believe in 50/50 relationships where both partners are equal but I had to show some dominance few times because nothing else worked. And she changed some of her behaviors that bothered me after that.
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Braag
Member
I've been with 1 girl only who cheated on me (I found out pretty quick) and trust me, you will save yourself so much headache by just moving on. The constant feel of anxiety, the doubting, the thought that what she is doing each time she leaves the house, it's not worth all that hassle. It will eat you up mentally.
I've been with my current girlfriend for 4 years and she hasn't given me a single reason to doubt her or be suspicious of her, your gut feeling will tell you once something is wrong (unless you're a complete doofus) and life is so much better when you live with someone you can trust.
I've been with my current girlfriend for 4 years and she hasn't given me a single reason to doubt her or be suspicious of her, your gut feeling will tell you once something is wrong (unless you're a complete doofus) and life is so much better when you live with someone you can trust.
Ellis
Member
Without easing into a conversation where she has enough time to think of clever reply, look her in the face and ask her outright if she's fucking someone else, or if she has the intention to do so, if she hasn't already done so.
If you're happy with her response, then move on and be prepared to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights.
If you're not happy with the response, then end it right there and then. Don't fuck about.
Or, scrap the above and just leave. It sounds to me like she probably is fucking someone else, or is going to. What you have said is red flag enough for me to walk away.
If you're happy with her response, then move on and be prepared to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights.
If you're not happy with the response, then end it right there and then. Don't fuck about.
Or, scrap the above and just leave. It sounds to me like she probably is fucking someone else, or is going to. What you have said is red flag enough for me to walk away.
Nintendo's Witch
Member
Fuck her boyfriend, that'll confuse her.
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Yoda
Member
It sounds like a serious relationship, so don't listen to the advice here to nuke it from orbit on a hunch. If your trust level is really high with her (make sure you actually believe this vs. doing it out of faith or blind loyalty), confront her and press the issue until you're satisfied with the response. If that doesn't exist, try to find evidence to support you assumptions, then act on them. Marriage is a long marathon, and it's only worth it with the right person, so it's very important you figure this out before signing away half your assets to someone.
As an aside, I wouldn't consider light flirting a fire-able offense, but if you don't like it and it's part of her personality, you need to address that and remedy it. If she's having sex with the dude, then yeah it's game over, don't bother trying to fix it.
As an aside, I wouldn't consider light flirting a fire-able offense, but if you don't like it and it's part of her personality, you need to address that and remedy it. If she's having sex with the dude, then yeah it's game over, don't bother trying to fix it.
Idleyes
Gold Member
Depending on where you at and if you like black women, I knew a few girls in like half the US states. Just know they aint into longterm relationships but would help you cope with any sexual loss. Oh and she just might want to make herself at home and cook and stuff and run off any other bitches in your circle (including yo momma) so.....
Gp1
Member
Considering that she admitted her behavior, another person alerted you, the bunch of red flags that op shown and the somewhat incompatible behavior...
I would find a good timing and confront her straight up because she sounds somewhat immature. Be sincere and put every chip on the table.
If her answer gives you the minimum amount of doubt, Jumps off the boat because you still have time.
I'm almost in my 40's and I've seen my fair share of long time marriages where they only discovered a long time cheating behavior after 20 or even 30 years of relations. I wouldn't live with that doubt for this long.
Ps. And fuck that. You want that apartment, It's half yours anyway. Do as someone here said and buy her out if it's possible.
I would find a good timing and confront her straight up because she sounds somewhat immature. Be sincere and put every chip on the table.
If her answer gives you the minimum amount of doubt, Jumps off the boat because you still have time.
I'm almost in my 40's and I've seen my fair share of long time marriages where they only discovered a long time cheating behavior after 20 or even 30 years of relations. I wouldn't live with that doubt for this long.
Ps. And fuck that. You want that apartment, It's half yours anyway. Do as someone here said and buy her out if it's possible.
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FalconPunch
Member
Romania? I'm a bit surprised as isn't it supposed to be more traditional? Unfortunate my dude.
reinking
Gold Member
Isn't that the important part? Or do you think she is lying? Simple solution to see where things are going. Tell her you understand work friendships happen but you are not cool with physical touch with another person and that you would like that to end. If she bites and says, "no more." You're golden. If she pushes back, maybe there is more going on. Either way, I think you have trust issues with her (at least now if you did not beforehand). You will need to deal with that or move on. If not, you will make both of your lives miserable. I am speaking from my experiences.
samoilaaa
Member
It doesnt matter anymore , i broke up with her , i keep seeing other guys grabbing her behind her neck , putting their hands on her leg
I will never be 100% secure that she wont do it again , she got mad that i broke things off from such simple things but they are not simple things for me
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reinking
Gold Member
Probably for the best regardless of if she actually took things further. My only advice from here is to not look back and move on. That is what breakups are for.
nush
Member
Now watch how quick she gets into another relationship. There's all the proof coming you were right.
demigod
Member
Did you tell her you didnt want other dudes touching her? How did she take the breakup?
Go_Ly_Dow
Member
Good on you son.
Many don't have the balls to take the lead like you just did, even if it's obviously the right thing to do.
Avid Reading Horse
Member
Time to hit the gym, bro!
DaciaJC
Gold Member
Bojji
Member
Might be great decision in the long run (she didn't behave like good wife material) but like with everything in life, you will only know this few months/years from now.
Have you tried convincing her to change her behavior before breaking up?
Kittehkraken
Member
The world has enough stress in it without worrying if your partner is getting felt up by others guys because she likes being playful at work.
Heimdall_Xtreme
Hermen Hulst Fanclub's #1 Member
It's one thing to tell you, and another to do it.
Lord Panda
The Sea is Always Right
Good on you mate. She's someone else's problem now.
Battlesmurf
Member
Proud of your strength man. A big part of a partnership is recognizing when something is important to your partner, it's not something to be dimissed. If she was dismissing this *now*, imagine how dismissive she might be in 5 years? After children?
Just be smart and fair with the money situation. Don't walk away from an apartment purchase because of feelings, that's good advice that future you will thank yourself for.
Good luck dude.
GymWolf
Member
Some girls are overly-flirty and it's just their character, the fact that she admitted when asked is also a small positive, she could have denied everything and proved that she was for the streets.
Now with that in mind, you could tell her to stop because it make you uncomfortable but she could react by saying "being overly flirty is part of the package" so that leaves you with 4 options
Leaving her ass because you can't trust her playfulness
staying with her and be aware that she is gonna friendly flirt with every colleague
Asking her to stop and she stop because she loves you more than being flirty
Asking her to stop and she leave your ass because she doesn't have time for your jelousy.
Now with that in mind, you could tell her to stop because it make you uncomfortable but she could react by saying "being overly flirty is part of the package" so that leaves you with 4 options
Leaving her ass because you can't trust her playfulness
staying with her and be aware that she is gonna friendly flirt with every colleague
Asking her to stop and she stop because she loves you more than being flirty
Asking her to stop and she leave your ass because she doesn't have time for your jelousy.
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