When did you move here? I moved here in the early 80s and it was none of this. I used to go skateboard with my friends in Seattle and, although, like any major city with its share of crime and homelessness, we never felt unsafe.
With the tech boom, all these people came in from all over the map. (Note: MS was a "small company" in Redmond and I wish I took pictures of the campus then and what it looks like now. They have a shuttle service to get people around campus and they "recently" tore down a bunch of their old buildings in main campus in a HUGE remodel.) When these people came in making huge salaries, there was, and arguably I would say, still is, a "we are better than you attitude." If you go out to the smaller towns, or where the locals have not been out priced out of the area they grew up, you get a more honest, open communication.
People talk about the Seattle freeze and personally I think it is because people move here and then are too busy to talk to anyone in their neighborhood with the exception of the people at work. When you talk to them, and dude, I am not going to lie, I was part of this group, we were just too busy because we assumed you were also in tech and were being polite in the same manner. Being in tech, with a family, especially if both you and your wife qork in tech, you just have no f'ing time. So while we would love to go out and do things, I will be friendly to you but don't expect anything. Add kids into the mix and forget it...
People expect to move here and make all kinds of friends. I met my friends in junior high when I moved here. If you are coming here to work in tech, I suspect you will run into just what I mentioned above. You will make friends at work and, if your wife doesn't work, will also make friends with your coworkers and their family. I feel like you have a better chance meeting honest, open people coming here and NOT working in tech. You have to remember, people in tech learn to be pretty aggressive at work as this is how they "make rank". When you do it for so long, it bleeds into your social life.
There was a Microsoft meme that I can't find just the MS frame. It showed an MS org chart with people grouped into sub orgs with guns pointed at each other up and down the org at the other groups. People are friendly to each other but also aggressive as hell. However, people will look out for you when they advance up the chain. I had co-workers move into different organizations then try to poach me to work on projects with them.
Edited for Grammer jeez