Man, OP, you're investing a ton of energy into this one girl. All your eggs in one basket?
Shouldn't put her on a pedestal and start pursuing other girls.
Nothing has really happened besides her hanging out with your group, which is cool I guess.
It seems like you try to justify that something could happen beyond just being "friends."
I'm at work but since I'm not busy, I can chime in. I will definitely keep you guys posted for the better or worse. I'm not investing anything in her, very little infact. I do go out with other girls and flirt with other girls. I'm not exclusive to her and I do all this with me still being interested in her and I did it in front of her when we all went out. She's just a girl that I feel a good connection with and if it works, it works (I really want it though) but if it doesn't. I'm not going to be crying in a corner.
There's no justification here. I'm seeing what I see are pretty strong signals but again, this is all subjective as many here have said, a lot of girls have the flirty personality but doesn't mean they are interested.
But I'm going with the flow here, at least she came out with us. People fail to notice, I'm the main guy of my group and I was part of that group. She would have said "no" if I wasn't part of the group is my feeling here.
Let me ask you this OP. Does she disclose her problems usually involving the boyfriend, but not always, to you? This is an enormous red flag btw.
That's the thing. No. She doesn't even talksabout her bf, we talk about party, drinking, sports, interests / hobbies. She doesn't talk to me about her bf. Not one bit. Amazing eh? I love it.
This is the correct answer. It's a waitress's job to be friendly to customers. Same goes for most other women working public-facing service or retail jobs. Some women are friendly in a manner that could be construed as flirtatious - that's simply their personality. They probably get hit on and asked out all the damn time while on-the-job.
OP is better off meeting women through his social network, meetups and common-interest activities. Don't bother asking out waitresses, unless he already knows her outside of her job.
And about the "I have a boyfriend line" - it's irrelevant whether it's true or not. The point is that she's not interested in you, OP. That's all that matters, and you may as well accept it and move on. Mentioning a BF is one of the most common ways that women let guys down easy.
You've basically repeated what everyone said in this thread. Are tips really that big of a deal to waitresses for them to be doing all the things you listed above? Such as hanging out on their time with people she met at the bar, drinking with them...
Jesus, people here act like as if tipping is something waitresses would do anything for. Maybe I can land a blowjob as well if I tipped her $100.00? Hey... Might as well call her a stripper am I right?
You are going to look back on this and think, "Wow I was a sucker." That is part of growing up though.
I go to a sports bar in my hood with some good looking bartenders/waittresses. They tell me about situations you are in from their perspective. They do flirt for tips, they also will hang out with customers, go out to other bars with them, etc. But it all revolves around good tips and having a good time. They know if they do all that and move to another bar, the "fan club" will follow. That is just how it is.
To me the OP has it in his mind that he is going to get with this girl so ANY attention that she gives him, he sees as proof that she feels the same. Even if she is giving everyone else in the bar that same attention, it is special for him. It is delusional but again, that is how you learn.
I agree with you in regards to the main point that waitresses will flirt, chat the customer up, be very nice to them, treat them special etc.. For tips. There are other things apart from those that certain waitresses will do that doesn't warrant the whole arguement of "she's doing it for the tips".... Why? Because she's going out of her way to do it for a few extra dollars? Really now? Doesn't make sense to me.
What the fuck guys? And you guys say I'm inexperienced. Lol.
Is she the hottest thing ever?
Why go through so much trouble/guessing?
She's hot, she's nice, she has a great personality. People are really wrong about this whole "I'm going through a lot of trouble" when I'm really not. I really am not. I'm just going with the flow. It's simple, I see her once a week at least at the bar... I will hopefully see her more often now outside of work and that's it. I don't like go out of my way to talk to her everyday, see her at work. Talk about her apart from this thread.
Lol.
I'm more interested to know what the OP considers "flirting."
OP?
Edit: I secretly want the OP to nail her so this can be one of the biggest crow feasts in GAF history.
Hmmm... Good question. Flirting to me = Being harsh but in a very charming way to the person she's interested, teasing, touching, going out of her way to do things for you, body language, the way she phrases her sentences. Eye contact, how she looks at you... Etc..
If she won't do anything alone with you, then you have no chance. Sorry. Group hangouts are a totally different environment.
We'll see I guess right.
