you look like a clingy loser that she knows she could have at any moment. Good luck with that.
So I asked her out.
- Thread starter FortunateSon
- Start date
- Status
you look like a clingy loser that she knows she could have at any moment. Good luck with that.
SouthernDragon
Member
You're not in.
And never will be.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
There was no friendzone here. She told him from the very beginning that's the most he could anspire to and he went with it. That he had intentions beyond that doesn't mean anything. She didn't lie to him or tell him he had a chance.
Getting butthurt and not talking to her because of whatever goes on your own head doesn't help. And having female friends is the best way to meet women.
I'm not saying that's how most guys see it. I'm saying how a lot of girls, and by extension probably her, see it.
She just started hanging out with a new group, but it's people she's talked about plenty before. Depending on what they were dancing to, even grinding doesn't mean anything but that she wanted to dance.
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
A better way to look at it would be just to relax a little. But you seem to be claiming IRL you are completely relaxed on the situation. However, you then repeatedly seem to make assumptions of interest based on "hints" you are perceiving. And yes, there's the waitress aspect.
Either way, she sounds like a flirty person. Enjoy being friendly with her without expectations, and you'll likely have better luck in the end if you do have interest.
FortunateSon
Banned
Well, I honestly thought I had her. It was game over when I started dancing with her, I was seriously going to pull off the whole going for the kiss slowly and going from there. Hell I was this close to asking her out AGAIN. Lmao, but as soon as the song got changed or finished, she just splits.
WHAT THE FUCK was seriously the first thing that went over in my mind. I really had a very gazed / confused look.
Im saying you shouldn't befriend a girl when your intentions are more than that, period.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Oh, it was more of a comment directed to how I see most guys reacting to stories like this.
I agree, though, as long as he keeps thinking he has a chance he's just gonna be clingy.
wolfmat
Confirmed Asshole
That's really basically how dancing works though.
FortunateSon
Banned
I don't know, really felt one those connections with her. Mind you, I've been single for about a year now. Close to it, And I was thoroughly enjoying my single life as my past few relationships were just tiring me out. Funny thing is, there are other hot waitresses that we know there but I'm not interested in any one of them like I am with this one. Weird.
And the best part, she has some HOT looking friends.
Edit: By the way gaf I'm so tempted to post pictures, you don't even understand but I rather be safe than sorry I guess. If this was some website that wasn't popular, I would have but knowing gaf and their detective ways or the lurkers.
FortunateSon
Banned
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Because you're going to keep thinking every time she talks to you or does anything friendly with you, she ACTUALLY wants to smang you and the only reason she doesn't is her boyfriend.
Right. Because you've been 100% great at reading this girls signals before.
wolfmat
Confirmed Asshole
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
Understood. I think some of it is "playing pretend," but I can buy that there are people who aren't really in the moment of a sexual experience. I've witnessed "grinding" that couldn't be less sexy. But I've also witnessed plenty that certainly was a sexual experience for both sides.. whether or not they'll be honest about that is something entirely different.
I'm open to the idea there are people who can appear to be having a sexual experience (considering they'll mimic one if not several aspects of sexual foreplay) that isn't in any way sexual for them too. Not saying that isn't something possible that someone can be honest about, I'm just saying I've witnessed the exact opposite occur.
edit: And then there's the fact that plenty of guys (and girls) will dance with someone who is totally not into the "Grinding" and think that they are, in fact, into it. LOL.. which of course, could be this situation here.
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
This just sounds...
... almost uncomfortable. Are you sure you weren't totally mis-interpreting her cues and grinding on her when she wasn't really into it?
Then his only shot at happiness with her, however brief, is a coincidental meet-up at the Jersey Shore while she's on ecstasy.
SapientWolf
Trucker Sexologist
She wants you in her fan club, giving her attention. She's prolly not gonna share you with her friends.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Well, obviously. Grinding often means interest of some sort, but not always, and certainly much less so than a lot of Gaffers seem to think.
Dancing is fun, and there's nothing inherently wrong with grinding.
SteveWinwood
Member
Other then its Satan's dance.
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
Well I wasn't saying grinding is some outright wrong thing. I said some of this situation sounds shady, and it isn't some situation where a girl went out to a club and danced with some guys. She invited a guy into her apartment, then grinded on him at a rather intimate gathering, and then allegedly hinted that they had some future possibilities. I'm not saying she's the devil's spawn, I'm saying it's a bit shady relationship wise considering the supposed boyfriend.
Other than that, I just think you are downplaying how many people will have a sexual experience that they want to then pretend isn't sexual because they are in a relationship. This is something I've witnessed on countless occasions. The "it's just dancing" girl ends up in the garage having sex. Again, nothing "Wrong" with a girl choosing to have a sexually fun experience, or even define a relationship with her "boyfriend" where she is allowed to do so. Just saying, there's a lot of pretending that goes on, and it's not healthy.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
I'm not saying you said it was. Just saying why a lot of girls don't have second thoughts about doing it regardless of sexual interest.
crimzonflame
Member
So in the end she was doing it all for the tips.
Win. She may not be that interested in you, but if you're cool being friends, be friends. I liked a girl in college and we struck up a friendship. Before I decided to ask her out, I figured out that it wasn't going to work that way. But I still wanted to be friends and eventually met my wife through her.
FortunateSon
Banned
Well, like nvidiot said though, the way she was dancing with me at her house really messed me up pretty good. Now I feel I'm in an even deeper hole than I was before. I don't know. I don't think about her as a girl I want to fuck and that's it. I would get an escort if that were the case.
But that's what she relayed during our conversation at the end, if it wasn't for her boyfriend, things would have been different. But fuck it.
Well, if I could post a picture to show how intimate the dancing got, there's no way any one of you here wouldn't read that as a good sign.
Full disclosure: It's cool to not post pictures without explaining yourself
I'd like to, but I'm just afraid of the consequences, lol.
I don't know. I asked her first if she would like to dance and she said "yes"... And it started off normal aka just dancing. Then everyone started going crazy and dancing in my group and hers mixed... There were at least about 10 of us. Then some of my friends and their significant other started dancing to some song by collie buddz and well...
She looked at me and I looked at her and we both smiled in a very I guess, I can't explain it and just started DIRTY DANCING.
Yeah.
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
LOL you are quite the character aren't you?
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
Yeah I edited that to a statement rather than an accusation
I'll just agree to disagree with you slightly on the overall downplaying, as I've had different experiences. Not that I've also witnessed tons of girls not wanting anything more than to grind on a guy. I'm not saying it's always an implication of sexual interest, I'm just saying I think it's a sexual experience more often than many people claim. Girls are far more likely to want to have a sexual experience that doesn't end in sex, to me, is a more honest way to look at it. And I think everyone understands the fact that a lot of guys assume sexual interest in the wrong situations. But again, fine if people see it otherwise
crimzonflame
Member
LMAO exact same hopeless optimism.
Update!!!
Sorry for the late reply guys, I was recovering from a very late night out and I am still a bit drowsy from last night. It was a fun night.
But if you want to know what happened in a few emoticons, it's :/ --->
Honestly, fuck. I definitely tried this time though but FAILED X2 and the second time is even worse.
1) I went to the bar with 3 friends (2 girls and 1 guy) and one of the girls I went with; I had a past with her. But we remained friends.
2) We were sat at a table where this waitress I like would serve us. So she was really happy to see me / us and whatnot (yeah, because of DEM TIPS).
3) At the end of the night, we all went to her place to chill, pre-drink and hit up a club. At that point; it was 4 of us, as the rest of my friends joined us later.
4) So she was as usual being flirty and my ex had put the ring that I bought her a longtime ago. I didn't notice, the waitress girl did and asked me if she was my girlfriend...... I'm like "what the fuck" (back at the bar, my ex and me were talking a lot, and she was very close to me) and that's how she knows. I said "no, we're just friends"
5) So the drinks started to get going. I WAS DANCING with this girl at her house, we were like grinding up and shit. It was literally dirty dancing, hell, I even grabbed her ass. You really have to see the pictures to see how intimate it got, the dance I mean. By the way gaf, I have pictures but knowing detective gaf, I don't want this thread to end like my last one. I'm a great dancer by the way.
6) We then jet off to the club. Then my ex decided to ask me to dance with her and I did (I took gaf advice and didn't give her [the waitress]my attention) so I did things with other girls... And then....
7) I found out she literally was never interested in me at all and only because she was dancing with a guy she knows at the club that she knew for a really longtime and she was all up on him the whole night, so I guess they might end up dating but at least now I know the whole bf thing was a lie.
8) At least I thought so.... till I found that the guy was her boyfriend.
9) Before the end of the night, as most of the night or at least 75% of it she was with her bf. She didn't tell us he would be there or he's showing up. No hints of it. Guess she wanted the ride there? Who knows. This whole night might describe the waitress as an ass but she really isn't.
10) As the night winded down, before we all left. She and me had a really good 1 - on - 1 chat. Made me feel real good as some of the things she said definitely; in fact a 100% showed that I would have had her but because of her current situation and how much she loved her guy, it just can't. But she gave me an awesome hug / wink.
11) So I did not get her.
12) But I guess we will remain friends and if she were to shit the bed with her bf in the future, I'm in......... So in.
Well, go ahead and ask questions for your curiosity but guess this thread is done and it seems like gaf was correct. But just for the sakes of it, if I do end up with this girl, this thread would know first!
*Big Boss salute*
Also #12. I know that feel
tycoonheart
Member
SteveWinwood
Member
Just post the pic with blurred faces.
We need to see the intimacy!
We need to see the intimacy!
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
For the last time, no, grinding doesn't mean she wants to fuck.
Is it really that hard to see that maybe she just has fun dancing? She gave the dance no importance whatsoever when the song finished, it was just dancing.
Reimer has a better chance at the Vezina then this guy does with this chick
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
But it does mean that she likes the attention that she's getting from him.
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
1) Clear all EXIF data (in windows, right-click, properties.. it's called summary or something)
2) Crop photo significantly
3) Change brightness significantly, but so people can still make out what's going on
4) Maybe tweak some other color settings
Not urging you in particular to post a pic, but there are general ways to make detectiving pics more or less difficult.
But I though that was bannable here anyways?
2) Crop photo significantly
3) Change brightness significantly, but so people can still make out what's going on
4) Maybe tweak some other color settings
Not urging you in particular to post a pic, but there are general ways to make detectiving pics more or less difficult.
But I though that was bannable here anyways?
the fuck kind of info can people trace from a pic that you upload from your computer to an imaging hosting site, without clearing this EXIF data? I need to protect myself from future nerd onslaughts over here...
Dude Abides
Banned
Clearly you just need to arrange to have the boyfriend kIlled. Then you're in. So in.
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
To make sure there was no geo-tagging.
Many people have been "found" because they uploaded cell phone pictures with GPS data embedded in the EXIF.
However, many hosting sites will clear it for you, or replace it with their own data. Just saying, it's a good general CYA on photo posting.
Exact location the photo was taken (if you don't have that disabled on your phone with GPS).
Make & model of phone.
How much you weigh.
How many times you've had sex.
The quality of your sex.
Your pay.
If you ever lied to your mother.
Any hidden sexual feelings you have that make you uncomfortable.
Criminal Record.
Pre-criminal Record.
Names of all your future ancestors.
Oh, just the top 2.
FortunateSon
Banned
Well. I guess I'm with nvidiot on this one. I have always known grinding to be intimate but not on the levels of sexually acting on it. Usually when girls grind on guys, doesn't mean that they want more without admitting to that fact?
I can see the whole lets just dance to have fun but the way we did it, was uh maybe a tad intimate. And yeah, as soon as the song ended, she split. So I can see the whole she not giving that dance no importance at all.
But it's funny though as I said, it messed up my feelings pretty bad but I still ended up having a great night though!
How about them sharks eh? Chokers would be a pretty good nick name don't you think?
Uh, don't know.
Uh, I've been burned once badly by gaf so nope. Not taking a chance.
Except the fact that Reimer can't play goalie for shit and will be playing for some khl team next year.
Ugh.
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
That isn't what I said. It CAN be that, and is at times, but that wasn't my main point.
My main point is that it's very often a sexual experience, one where the guy will readily admit it as such, whereas a girl isn't likely to admit it. One of the differences being most guys will want a sexual experience to end in sex, whereas a lot of girls aren't looking for that.. but it's still a fun sexual experience for them. Beyond that, I've straight up witnessed girls claim grinding wasn't a sexual experience, and then that grinding clearly did lead to a sexual experience.
But everyone is different, and it's also certainly possible it wasn't sexual for her whatsoever.
What happened to all those posts about how you're totally over here and not hung up on her at all?
Clockwork
Member
Update!!!
Sorry for the late reply guys, I was recovering from a very late night out and I am still a bit drowsy from last night. It was a fun night.
But if you want to know what happened in a few emoticons, it's :/ --->
Honestly, fuck. I definitely tried this time though but FAILED X2 and the second time is even worse.
1) I went to the bar with 3 friends (2 girls and 1 guy) and one of the girls I went with; I had a past with her. But we remained friends.
2) We were sat at a table where this waitress I like would serve us. So she was really happy to see me / us and whatnot (yeah, because of DEM TIPS).
3) At the end of the night, we all went to her place to chill, pre-drink and hit up a club. At that point; it was 4 of us, as the rest of my friends joined us later.
4) So she was as usual being flirty and my ex had put the ring that I bought her a longtime ago. I didn't notice, the waitress girl did and asked me if she was my girlfriend...... I'm like "what the fuck" (back at the bar, my ex and me were talking a lot, and she was very close to me) and that's how she knows. I said "no, we're just friends"
What was the point of explaining this? I got a kick out of the "she was really happy to see me / us" as I am not sure why you differentiated yourself from your group of friends who are also regulars.
What did your ex have to do with the rest of the story? Seems like useless filler or some sad attempt to present her as some type of cockblock
Oh man, you even grabbed her ass! Dude, I am surprised she didn't bang you right then and there. And grinding? Oh man, I hope you were carrying condoms on you.
Haha, seriously though...you guys were at a party and you were dancing. That is known to happen and doesn't mean anything.
I bet that made the waitress friend soooooo jealous. You sure showed her. The fact that you consciously and intentionally ignored her is hilarious. Never mind the fact that you naturally could have had other stuff to pay attention to since you were there with friends, which would be I don't know.... normal.
She was dancing with a guy she knew for a long time and you equated this to her not being interested?Or how that was going to end up with them dating? In this case it was true, but how was it different than you dancing with other people like your ex? What made you think the bf thing was a lie?
It sounds like you watched them the entire time. Did you give him the stink eye all night too? I bet you did.
Which is normal if you're in a relationship. At the same time, why does this mean she just wanted a ride? Why would she have to tell anyone if he would be there or not? Sounds like she considers you people friends and wanted to hang out and have a good time. Which is what happened from what it sounds like.
I don't think she sounds like an ass. I think that you're projecting.
So how did this 1x1 chat start? What was it even about? I can't imagine anything heading towards a discussion on whether she would have dated you or not had you not instigated it during the conversation. It just seems creepy and uncomfortable.
No. Just no.
SouthernDragon
Member
You need to get away from her, for real.
You ain't doin' yourself any favors.
You ain't doin' yourself any favors.
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