this is weird, my cousin is jacking off with my netbook

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SunhiLegend said:
untitled-3fcac7.gif
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Oh. My. God. Best thread ever!
 
spindashing said:
For those that want a source for that gif, search "Breanna Sparks Cleans Bathroom."
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No, it's not. I thought it was that, too, because I ran a google reverse image search and that came up. But you have to check the videos underneath on the list because it's definitely not Breanna Sparks Cleans Bathroom.
 
there are some added unnecessary details in the OP about stuff like weed not letting you get boners or whatever and reading those extra details gave me bad anxiety. Just FYI.
 
To the OP : I dont you dont mind him using your keyboard and touchpad with his sticky hands.

Hope he is enjoying it.
 
Hiltz said:
Masterbating in someone else's house or using someone else's computer isn't just gross but rude.

I think my uncle, the father of the same cousin I caught masterbating in my house, may have had sex there according to what my parents saw. At the time, my family was temporarily living at a nearby townhouse for 9 months after the Northridge earthquake while our house was under construction. One day, my parents went to vist our house to check up on the progress and they had hired my uncle and his crew to do the job. Well, shortly after my parents walked into the den (there's a sliding glass door leading to the backyard), they saw a half-dressed woman run by toward the side of the house. I don't know where my uncle was, but he was apparently there as well. My parents knew something was definitely going on when they went into their bedroom and found an old mattress with used sheets. They figured my uncle was having sex with a woman he had met after his divorce. I've always wondered if that woman turned out to be my new aunt. My mom said that they should probably leave so they don't accidently run into the woman or my uncle there. I'm sure my uncle knows that my parents saw.


As for my cousin, I'm just glad he used an old sock. I would have killed him if it were a brand new one. Putting on new socks is one of the best feelings in the world, but not when it's full of semen.
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How old was your cousin when that happened?
 
You're being irrational. Let him cum, delete history, forget it happened.
 
Bombadil said:
No, it's not. I thought it was that, too, because I ran a google reverse image search and that came up. But you have to check the videos underneath on the list because it's definitely not Breanna Sparks Cleans Bathroom.
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Okay, you're right.

For those that want the source, search: Brunette Girl Caught Masturbating Fucks Guy So He Is Quiet
 
Should I be surprised by the amount of porn-fu going on on GAF. People will recognize *anything*
 
Thanks spindashing, I'm gonna use my girlfriend's laptop while searching.


#yolo
 
Calcaneus said:
Imagine if someone caught you with that search term. There is literally no way you can explain that away.
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There's no explaining any of the search terms I put into porn sites. There really isn't.
 
This thread will not be forgotten.

Look below to catch up thanks to Lionel Mandrake
Lionel Mandrake said:
For those of you just joining us...
jJxFEZBsYMNvt.jpg


Our thread began when our OP, mysticwhip, enlightened NeoGAF to the precarious predicament he found himself in, after lending his netbook to his friend and discovering that his friend had been using that netbook for masturbatory purposes.

However, that matter was quickly forgotten when user Mordeccai gave his own experiences.

Mordeccai said:
I know this feel.

I took my laptop home this winter and allowed my two sisters to use it. They're both younger than me, I'm only an undergrad, so I was confident there would be no issues.

Well, a few days pass and everythings going well. I decided to scroll through my history to find this video here on GAF the day prior, so I begin to scroll down when I notice a number of weird google searches. Cutest boys, hottest celebs, stuff like this. I know for a fact I didn't type in those searches, but whatever.

But then, a search catches my eye.
iUy7wSBjCWR7F.gif



"hot boys green eyes big dick"

All of a sudden, I did not know what to do with my hands. I wanted nothing further to do with the keyboard and I cleaned the hell out of it.

Family shouldn't be using your laptop to jack it, man.
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This problem was further compounded when it was discovered that Mordeccai himself had green eyes, thus leading to incestuous connotations. But Mordeccai didn't stop there.

Mordeccai said:
The only thing the webcam on the laptop has recorded on it is my grandma. It is nonsexual.

One of them fucked with my Rock Band drumsticks two years ago. Literally speaking. After the third time I bought a new pair of sticks to play with because for some reason they kept disappearing, I found a pair in the trash. The wood on one end of the sticks was a markedly different color and shade than the other stick, but I played it off to them being out in the rain because who the hell would think?

Later that week my dad tells me that he knows where the sticks went, the found them under my sisters bed and he threw them away.

I didn't see any porn websites after the search the trail ended there. I just had no idea how to fill in the gaps of what happened afterward, as she had access to the laptop the whole night I was sleeping.
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A great run for any NeoGAF madness, but Mordeccai topped it all off by providing a picture of the sister in question.

Mordeccai said:
This is an image of me giving her a thumbs up for ruining my stuff I am the one in the blue

edit:
3dVfN.jpg
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Then of course, gifs and jokes, and all sorts of general debauchery followed.

Will Mordeccai continue this trainwreck? Will the thread be locked? Will anyone ever play Rock Band again? Let's find out.
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