Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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My 'big' date is tomorrow (Monday here). I'm so nervous, but I'm hopeful of things going well. I've been more honest and open with girl than I've been with anyone and she seems to like me more and more every day, in fact I've never felt a connection like this with anyone in my life, even my ex who I previously considered my soul mate.

Anyway, I'm feeling good. I bought some smart new clothes and aftershave, I've had my hair done. I can't do much more than I have so far to make this work.
 
so on the profiles that are kinda short and generic, what do you say when you message them? there's really nothing I can work with on some of them and it doesn't seem like they'd go for the peanut butter and cheese thing going by the general tone of what little is there in the profile, hmm

or maybe I should just ask the girl out from work..yea

edit, fuck it, went with peanut butter and cheese
 
mblitek said:
So for the next step...how long do I wait before sending another message? I'm not doing the stereotypical 3days, seems too cliche. Opinions?
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I've always found myself in the camp that believes these "rules" are retarded. Did you send her a nice text later in the evening making sure she got home okay? Just continue the conversation the next day.

PumpkinPie said:
My 'big' date is tomorrow (Monday here). I'm so nervous, but I'm hopeful of things going well. I've been more honest and open with girl than I've been with anyone and she seems to like me more and more every day, in fact I've never felt a connection like this with anyone in my life, even my ex who I previously considered my soul mate.

Anyway, I'm feeling good. I bought some smart new clothes and aftershave, I've had my hair done. I can't do much more than I have so far to make this work.
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Good luck. And remember, trying too hard can be far worse than trying too little. I think you'll agree you've put her on a bit of a pedestal already. Watch out and remember that you're still expected to take the lead and... Can't believe I'm about to say this... "Be the man."
 
ChefRamsay said:
I've always found myself in the camp that believes these "rules" are retarded. Did you send her a nice text later in the evening making sure she got home okay? Just continue the conversation the next day.
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I hate it too but all the girly advice say to wait so tomorrow I'll drum something up. I don't have her phone number or email and it was in the afternoon. Anymore words of wisdom? I have to laugh at myself and my team effort approach! I'm employing all my resources!
 
Bleepey said:
I got a conversation with about 10 girls going. They all lost interest.... urh.
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Seems to be just how it goes. But I guess I have dropped contact with a girl or two after a little bit just like that haha. Still waiting on this girl that takes forever to log in. Last time it took her three weeks to log in and respond to my message, been ten days since I sent a message asking if she wanted to grab lunch or dinner. We'll see how that goes!
 
Signed up for this, a the first person to give me a message seems like some desperate chick. Not really the most attractive looking person, a real beefy and tall women. Though I guess it's still better than some people are having here.

Got another message from a different person. Only been 30 minutes, so I am being optimistic about the future.
 
dralla said:
so on the profiles that are kinda short and generic, what do you say when you message them? there's really nothing I can work with on some of them and it doesn't seem like they'd go for the peanut butter and cheese thing going by the general tone of what little is there in the profile, hmm

or maybe I should just ask the girl out from work..yea

edit, fuck it, went with peanut butter and cheese
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Aren't these the ones you want to steer away from in the first place? Seems like any chick who won't write anything about herself and only posts pics is the attention whoring type. That or they aren't serious about finding someone through the site.

I'd rather ask the girl out from work...assuming its a co-worker you're not working with directly on a day to day basis. Then that could get weird, suffocating, or both haha
 
I think what I hate the most is that after we send each other a few messages back and forth, I'll ask to meet up with her only to be met with silence. It's like, why are you communicating with me in the first place? I'd rather them not even respond to the first message unless it's to tell me "Thanks, but no thanks". I would assume that I'm interesting enough for you to converse with for a day or two, so why not meet in person?

Since September, I think I've had 7 girls respond to my initial message only for them to all end with them not replying after a day or so. All 7 of them still use the site daily too, so it's not like they're "busy" or just not logging on. I also hate the pick and choose answers they do after I actually take the time to ask them questions regarding their profile.
 
henhowc said:
Aren't these the ones you want to steer away from in the first place? Seems like any chick who won't write anything about herself and only posts pics is the attention whoring type. That or they aren't serious about finding someone through the site.

I'd rather ask the girl out from work...assuming its a co-worker you're not working with directly on a day to day basis. Then that could get weird, suffocating, or both haha
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I don't really have any 'rules' as to who I message, I think it would dumb if I didn't message someone because their profile was short/generic, I like to talk to people and get a feel for them, not judge them on by their profile. But she didn't respond to PB and cheese, ah well, another girl responded and we've actually got some good conversation going. She only has 2 pictures up, 1 is blurry and the other she's covered in fall clothes/glasses and stuff so I can't really see her, but we'll see how it goes.

I want to ask the girl out from work for real, I just started a few weeks ago, I'm trying to find out if she's available, what her situation is, I also need more self confidence! ugh, I'm not sure if I should just ask her out right away or get to know her first, we've only had minimal conversation so far. I don't work with her directly. But I do have a good story involving asking out a co-worker at my other job :)
 
I hate this fucking site.

81 messages out. A handful of replies. One date. Almost every message I send out gets a visit, but then girls see me/my profile and don't reply. I've looked at other male profiles in my age range, and I'm really not diverging from the standard profile, so I don't understand.

Thinking about this site makes me profoundly unhappy.
 
Freezie KO said:
I hate this fucking site.

81 messages out. A handful of replies. One date. Almost every message I send out gets a visit, but then girls see me/my profile and don't reply. I've looked at other male profiles in my age range, and I'm really not diverging from the standard profile, so I don't understand.

Thinking about this site makes me profoundly unhappy.
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Maybe that's the problem. You just aren't standing out.
 
Do you REALLY care about any of these girls? If your self esteem is hinging on whether or not they reply to your corny message, you need to step back and just realize that most girls on this site get ten thousand messages a day and probably reply to 1. Just have fun on the site. I literally troll girls I actually like and poke fun at their profile and just make straight up jokes not even commenting on their profile, and when I don't get a response I don't care because I've moved on already, and if I do then awesome I have someone to waste some time on.
 
I had the weirdest date over the weekend. we've been talking for a few weeks and decided to meet up for coffee. that went awesome so we decided to go get food and that went even better. Then we were trying to figure out what to do after. We met in the middle of where we live so neither of us knew of anything around to do. She came up with the idea of just going to my house to hang out. She even made a comment that it wasn't an invitation for sex, which I wasn't going to at all because I actually like this girl. Once we got to my house it was like everything changed. She just seemed super bored and I felt like I had to try and entertain her the whole time. She still stayed until like 1 am too tho. We even talked about it when she left about how it was kind of weird for some reason. when she got home we message for about 2 more hours and even the next day she started messaging me again. I think she dates a lot and I don't date at all. I think I've been on 3 dates this year. Mostly because I'm too lazy and cheap. I'm just confused now. I dont really know what to do and don't want to screw this one up.
 
Hmm, that 19 year old from a couple weeks back is about to meet me after work.
Work me is so phenomenally different from weekend me, wonder how that'll go over.
 
There's a girl on OKC who studied computers science at one of the top universities in the country, claimed to get a first (think top or near top in her class), is a gamer, posted a video of her doing some professional-looking pole dancing, she is doing a flag on the pole, her body is pornstar level, slim slender yet still with curves. She has a tattoo with some shite underneath the side of her rib which isn't perfect but not a deal breaker just hot damn. I feel insecure as a man. I couldn't handle a girl like that
 
Bleepey said:
There's a girl on OKC who studied computers science at one of the top universities in the country, claimed to get a first (think top or near top in her class), is a gamer, posted a video of her doing some professional-looking pole dancing, she is doing a flag on the pole, her body is pornstar level, slim slender yet still with curves. She has a tattoo with some shite underneath the side of her rib which isn't perfect but not a deal breaker just hot damn. I feel insecure as a man. I couldn't handle a girl like that
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You don't have to match her resume. You just have to be better than her other options.
 
purplestingray said:
I had the weirdest date over the weekend. we've been talking for a few weeks and decided to meet up for coffee. that went awesome so we decided to go get food and that went even better. Then we were trying to figure out what to do after. We met in the middle of where we live so neither of us knew of anything around to do. She came up with the idea of just going to my house to hang out. She even made a comment that it wasn't an invitation for sex, which I wasn't going to at all because I actually like this girl. Once we got to my house it was like everything changed. She just seemed super bored and I felt like I had to try and entertain her the whole time. She still stayed until like 1 am too tho. We even talked about it when she left about how it was kind of weird for some reason. when she got home we message for about 2 more hours and even the next day she started messaging me again. I think she dates a lot and I don't date at all. I think I've been on 3 dates this year. Mostly because I'm too lazy and cheap. I'm just confused now. I dont really know what to do and don't want to screw this one up.
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I'm guessing she was waiting for something to happen. If not sex, atleast making out.
 
purplestingray said:
I had the weirdest date over the weekend. we've been talking for a few weeks and decided to meet up for coffee. that went awesome so we decided to go get food and that went even better. Then we were trying to figure out what to do after. We met in the middle of where we live so neither of us knew of anything around to do. She came up with the idea of just going to my house to hang out. She even made a comment that it wasn't an invitation for sex, which I wasn't going to at all because I actually like this girl. Once we got to my house it was like everything changed. She just seemed super bored and I felt like I had to try and entertain her the whole time. She still stayed until like 1 am too tho. We even talked about it when she left about how it was kind of weird for some reason. when she got home we message for about 2 more hours and even the next day she started messaging me again. I think she dates a lot and I don't date at all. I think I've been on 3 dates this year. Mostly because I'm too lazy and cheap. I'm just confused now. I dont really know what to do and don't want to screw this one up.
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My guess? She was down to do stuff, and you didn't make a move - and she's not the kind of girl who makes moves like that.
 
vicissitudes said:
You don't have to match her resume. You just have to be better than her other options.
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True. But this is online dating. Her other options are probably the type of guys who girls from Take Me Out couldn't find fault with. *


*Basically imagine a show where women reject men for being athletic, Oxbridge educated and loving their mothers. Oh and no there is no hyperbole in what i said.
 
Bleepey said:
There's a girl on OKC who studied computers science at one of the top universities in the country, claimed to get a first (think top or near top in her class), is a gamer, posted a video of her doing some professional-looking pole dancing, she is doing a flag on the pole, her body is pornstar level, slim slender yet still with curves. She has a tattoo with some shite underneath the side of her rib which isn't perfect but not a deal breaker just hot damn. I feel insecure as a man. I couldn't handle a girl like that
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link plz

lol
 
Bleepey said:
True. But this is online dating. Her other options are probably the type of guys who girls from Take Me Out couldn't find fault with. *


*Basically imagine a show where women reject men for being athletic, Oxbridge educated and loving their mothers. Oh and no there is no hyperbole in what i said.
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Have you seen some of the male profiles on OKC or what kind of messages girls typically get? Calm down.
 
ChefRamsay said:
Good luck. And remember, trying too hard can be far worse than trying too little. I think you'll agree you've put her on a bit of a pedestal already. Watch out and remember that you're still expected to take the lead and... Can't believe I'm about to say this... "Be the man."
Click to expand...

:) So I had the date and it was like a fairytale, I couldn't imagine a date going any better at all. I was so sure she was going to hate me, but then I saw her walking up the stairs towards me and her eyes lit up, she gave me a huge smile and I suddenly felt at ease. We kissed straight away and it was like we'd been going out for years :D I didn't get back home until 11 hours later.

You're correct when you say I've put her on a pedestal, and even though I've been talking to her online for 2 months I was still surprised when she turned out to be even nicer and cuter in real life. This is the first time I've dated in 6 years, and it feels amazing :)
 
PumpkinPie said:
:) So I had the date and it was like a fairytale, I couldn't imagine a date going any better at all. I was so sure she was going to hate me, but then I saw her walking up the stairs towards me and her eyes lit up, she gave me a huge smile and I suddenly felt at ease. We kissed straight away and it was like we'd been going out for years :D I didn't get back home until 11 hours later.

You're correct when you say I've put her on a pedestal, and even though I've been talking to her online for 2 months I was still surprised when she turned out to be even nicer and cuter in real life. This is the first time I've dated in 6 years, and it feels amazing :)
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Two months? Damn seems like a long time before getting a date set up but apparently it worked for you so congrats!
 
Pastry said:
Two months? Damn seems like a long time before getting a date set up but apparently it worked for you so congrats!
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Yeah, I'm very self-conscious and didn't think she'd like me. I tried to drag it out for as long as possible because I was so sure it was going to go badly, I just didn't want it to all be over =/ I'd say she is on a higher tier of attractiveness to me, and I've had numerous really bad internet dates in the past where they simply never spoke to me again, which I assume was down to the way I look.

This girl has already shown all her family and friends pics of me and seems to have no issues with my appearance, or anything else for that matter, so all is good :)
 
PumpkinPie said:
:) So I had the date and it was like a fairytale, I couldn't imagine a date going any better at all. I was so sure she was going to hate me, but then I saw her walking up the stairs towards me and her eyes lit up, she gave me a huge smile and I suddenly felt at ease. We kissed straight away and it was like we'd been going out for years :D I didn't get back home until 11 hours later.

You're correct when you say I've put her on a pedestal, and even though I've been talking to her online for 2 months I was still surprised when she turned out to be even nicer and cuter in real life. This is the first time I've dated in 6 years, and it feels amazing :)
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Damn, congrats! So just curious, did you literally mean you kissed right away? Like first sight? haha
 
Ashhong said:
Damn, congrats! So just curious, did you literally mean you kissed right away? Like first sight? haha
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Yes! I was so nervous thinking there would be an awkward silence, wondering what I would say or if I should hug her etc. So I was waiting at the top of the stairs at the train station, and as soon as her head popped up from the stairs she just gave me a big smile like :D and we kissed. All my nerves suddenly went away, and we basically spent the day walking around this cute old medieval town kissing, hugging and holding hands.

It really was like a dream. I'm still smiling about it now :)
 
PumpkinPie said:
Yes! I was so nervous thinking there would be an awkward silence, wondering what I would say or if I should hug her etc. So I was waiting at the top of the stairs at the train station, and as soon as her head popped up from the stairs she just gave me a big smile like :D and we kissed. All my nerves suddenly went away, and we basically spent the day walking around this cute old medieval town kissing, hugging and holding hands.

It really was like a dream. I'm still smiling about it now :)
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Sounds great man. I don't know you're messages obviously, but it sounds like you guys were practically "dating" online. You said you talked for over 2 months, so it's like you were "dating" haha. I'm jealous
 
Ashhong said:
Sounds great man. I don't know you're messages obviously, but it sounds like you guys were practically "dating" online. You said you talked for over 2 months, so it's like you were "dating" haha. I'm jealous
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Yeah, we were basically dating online but we weren't sure how it was going to go in real life. I already mentioned above that my last GF was 6 years ago, and I wasn't actively looking for anyone. I didn't actually meet her on OkCupid, I just posted in this thread because I met her online.

We actually met when I put a pic of myself online showing off my new eyebrow piercing and she saw it and looked me up on Facebook. So I chatted with her without any expectations really, but we found we had so much in common. Every obscure film I owned she also had, she's into anime (well Ghibli, at least) and other weird stuff (e.g. she loves to play with Play Doh), plus piercings and tattoos. I felt such a connection with her in such a short space of time.

I didn't think I'd find anyone as strange as I am, especially after 6 years of not dating. It just shows you can never tell what is around the corner, things just happen out of the blue :)
 
meeting someone tonight from OKC. she seems really cool so far, her picture is kind of blurry so it's kinda hard to see what she looks like, I'm hoping for the best. we wanted to do a haunted house but none were open around us, or apple picking, but it would've been too late. our schedules kinda clash, which sucks.
 
You'll be more comfortable with online dating once you realize the breakdown.

60% of the women have no intention of actually dating anyone, no matter how good their prospects. They use OKC as a mini blog and as an ego stroker. You can tell who these girls are pretty quickly, as they are constantly updating their info even after being on the site for over a year and being California 8's.

Of the other 40% who actually want to give dating a try, 20% are lured in by the "better prospects" who are usually just more attractive guys who just want to fuck, and the other 20% are usually "curvy," or "full figured" girls that are bat shit insane.

The best way to do online dating is to jump on one pay site and one free one (MATCH, OKC), work really hard on a funny, witty profile that doesn't reveal everything about yourself, select pictures of yourself that aren't meant to be funny but just attractive (and not mirror shots), and just send halfway thought out messages every other day to prospects. I usually copy and paste a well thought out message and then slightly later it to fit a couple of things in their profile.

Then just go about your business with no fucks given and wait for shit to happen.

I met my GF on OKC, but before that I was batting a bad average like most of you boys. Just keep with it. I never turned down a date. No date is a bad one, you learn little things from each woman your with. Some may just not work out due to attraction but they usually have a redeeming trait--big boobs, butt, whatever. Take a chance and try to see whats up quickly, and whether or not something happens you'll have valuable experience for the one that really matters down the road.
 
Update on mine from OKC.... I drove down to SoCal last Friday and we spent the weekend together. We went to dinner Friday night after I got there and then up to Signal Hill in Long Beach...had a wonderful time. Saturday we went with her 2 roommates (who are a couple) to Riley's Apple Farm east of Yucaipa and had lunch, did a bit of hiking and picked apples. That evening we went out to The Pier at Long Beach for drinks with her roommates on a double date and had a fantastic time. Drinks, laughs and her roommates are great -- and they approve of me! lol

I left Sunday afternoon to come back home and neither of us wanted to leave the other.

We are still texting a ton and have been Skyping on a daily basis for anywhere from 2-4 hours a night.

Last night we had a talk about us. We feel like we've been dating each other much longer than it has been. Neither of us are interested in dating anyone else or even looking elsewhere. I disabled/cancelled my OKC, Match and POF accounts.

So with that we are exclusive, Facebook status and all.

We're seeing each other this weekend again and can hardly wait.

So with that I'm telling you guys don't give up! I went through messaging countless women across all 3 of those accounts and went out on some horrible dates with them, but I persevered. On what seems to be total lark, I end up messaging one person without a picture who happened to view my profile and I end up striking gold.

DO NOT GIVE UP.
 
A white chick hit me up yesterday after not having logged onto the site for well over a month and a half. First chick that initiated the message since I reactivated my account in July. She's pretty; a 23 year old nursing grad student (Sweet Jesus!). Commented on one of the pictures that I had that was in the Dominican Republic and said that she loves the town that my family is from. I suppose that picture is a keeper then.

We've exchanged about 4 messages already; I've been really impressed by how well she knows the town and told her so. I think I'm going to go for her number after she responds to this next message I replied to and see if I set up a date for this weekend. She has similar interests to me; enjoys the same music as me (Who's ever heard of a white chick who listens to Spanish music?) so that scores a ton of points with me. Also the fact that she speaks Spanish is another bonus. On her profile though it says he's looking for friends though, so that might be a bit of a concern. I'm not going to dismiss her for that and see where it goes. Now if she would've put activity partners, that would've been a different story. Now I'm dying to get back on the site to see the rest of her pictures since I've only seen her main picture. But I want to wait until she replies to this next message before logging on to check. Must resist the temptation.

This week has been very good in terms of of women; I think I might have another date with a chick I met at Comic Con this past weekend lined up as well; we'll see how that goes. Will post more details of that in the Dating-Age thread.
 
I was out seeing Grimes tonight and saw a girl from OkCupid that I have a huge crush on. I wanted to talk to her so bad, but never got the chance. She was even all alone :(
 
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