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Virgin tight?
- Thread starter FortunateSon
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NinjaBoiX
Member
Spat_triate
Member
I lost mine at 13 at a summer camp to a 16 yr old. In retrospect, it was a terrible experience. We fumbled, rolled and rubbed against each other for a few minutes, she stuck me in, and it was over in a flash. We didn't even use protection as it never crossed our minds. Of course, 13yr old douche me told everyone at school and laughed about it, but I was crying on the inside.
The next time I had sex I was 19 and although I told my partner about my experience 6 years prior, I still bumbled my way around (It took forever to put the condom on). She probably thought I was a stone cold liar.
The next time I had sex I was 19 and although I told my partner about my experience 6 years prior, I still bumbled my way around (It took forever to put the condom on). She probably thought I was a stone cold liar.
That seems like a daft question given that asexuals are defined by their lack of interest in sex. I'd assumed they were counted out of the discussion.
Why the extremes? Why leap straight to 'sex or loser'?
I don't think the idea that having an active sex-life tends to make one happier is 'stupidity'.
What a marvellous turn-of-phrase. I'm stealing that.
Still a winner!
Link
The Autumn Wind
I have no problem if someone believes in "saving themselves," but let's not act like the alternative is some emotionally scarring experience. Why would anyone suffer from confusion and grief because they had sex before marriage or with someone other than "the one"?
I don't really see anyone in here with that attitude.
The problem is, many, too many (even 1 is too many), seem think that those who don't have sex are losers.
That pic seen in this thread? The mere existence of such proves this.
Oh and if asexuals are ignored for this discussion, we need to ignore those won't just don't want to have sex even if they're not asexuals as well. And we might as well ignore those who for some reason cannot have sex or just never had the chance (considerably easier than many would like to belive).
Sex is not relevant to defining maturity or capability of bonding or whatever.
Trojita
Rapid Response Threadmaker
Have you seen some of the millions of dumb pictures that are all over the internet? This is another one of them. Don't take it so seriously.
IceDoesntHelp
Banned
I was a virgin till I was 20 (this year). I admitted it all the time, and I didn't give a fuck. People always looked at me, and would typically say "Why would you even come out and say that?"
NinjaBoiX
Member
I'm sorry, but that's crazy.
It's like saying your parents allowing you to babysit your little brother, or your first job had nothing to do with learning responsibility.
You can question how much effect it has, but flat out denying any connection is ludicrous.
Ahaha that's great.
Eighty Deuce
Banned
I would wonder why too, but I guess it depends on how you say it. Did you blurt it out in good context or is it one of those "you admitted something weird, you creeper" sorta things people act childish at?
I don't "tell" anyone IRL but if they're all "oh how about men in your life?", I tell them I've never had a boyfriend and only been on one awkward date. I'm sure they get it lol
And I have apparently had no problem bitching about it on the net haha. But I'm getting to the point of not caring again so it's good. Imma die alone and that's what's meant to be and I'm okay with that.
Edit: top of the page...fantastic
Dude, all you have to do is bake a guy cupcakes and he's yours.
IceDoesntHelp
Banned
People would ask me if I've had sex, and I'd just say I'm a virgin. Nothing like "OMG I'm a virgin, all of you are so fucking impure!"
shhhhh
NinjaBoiX
Member
Impure.
MWS Natural
Member
Uh yeah...you didn't want to seem like the lame guy out of your friends who wasn't getting any.
Exactly lol.
It's true. Sex is a normal part of human life. Unless you are intentionally trying not to have sex (waiting for marriage, religious reasons, w/e) there is probably something wrong with you because it's not normal.
ViewtifulJC
Banned
Sex is a normal part of SOME people's lives. not everyone wants to have sex. it just is not on their list of priorities. My GF has absolutely no interest in sex at all. She is one of the sweetest people i have ever known. Doesnt mean there is something wrong with her. You should not generalize so heavily.
Is this what she tells you?
NinjaBoiX
Member
How old is she?
If she's between 15-30, and has zero interest in sex, there probably is something wrong with her. Like, honestly.
I'm not trying to be a dick here, but it's the truth.
22 and still hold the title.. When reflecting back, there was only one girl I really cared enough about but things got complicated and we were young. I had two other chances to but I said no(one is an ex that keeps tempting me to this day lol and I sometimes consider it). I really cared about that first girl. If it wasn't going to be her, I want it to be with someone I care about just as much or more. In a small sense, it would give that small interaction some meaning. Sometimes I feel like I'm wrong for hanging onto that notion but what can you do.
LITERALLY just had sex for the first time with a girl in res. 20 years old. It was terrible, I was drunk, couldn't feel anything, and eventually went soft. It was also like 5 am. But whatever, it counts 
And I'll get another chance with her soon, she likes me, she's not just some random girl from the club (Spanish exchange student <3)
ALSO, now that I'm not (quite) in the target audience for that fucking image that keeps getting quoted and has depressed me for a long time, FUCK that image. I realize it's a 'joke' from other virgins or losers who just happened to have sex a couple times from 4chan, but I can't stand that most people of our socially-awkward but often intellectually-gifted ilk on the internet seem to beat themselves up over shit that DOES NOT matter as much as they think it does. When can we go back to just talking about shit we enjoy, like games, or math, or even fucking anime and not have half the people there saying "LOL virgins go talk to girls" or "LOL I'm a virgin might as well kill myself"
You guys are doing more damage to yourselves and others than you think you are, and you're doing it for no reason. No one of value gives a fuck whether you're a virgin or not as long as YOU aren't giving a fuck about it. And if you're like me, you're building up a vein of irrational rage in a complex and rational mind that just doesn't need to be there.
<3 NeoGAF, you guys are cool as shit and don't need to hate yourselves for a second. Now I'm gonna go to sleep or I'm gonna die. Class tomorrow wooooo!!!
And I'll get another chance with her soon, she likes me, she's not just some random girl from the club (Spanish exchange student <3)ALSO, now that I'm not (quite) in the target audience for that fucking image that keeps getting quoted and has depressed me for a long time, FUCK that image. I realize it's a 'joke' from other virgins or losers who just happened to have sex a couple times from 4chan, but I can't stand that most people of our socially-awkward but often intellectually-gifted ilk on the internet seem to beat themselves up over shit that DOES NOT matter as much as they think it does. When can we go back to just talking about shit we enjoy, like games, or math, or even fucking anime and not have half the people there saying "LOL virgins go talk to girls" or "LOL I'm a virgin might as well kill myself"
You guys are doing more damage to yourselves and others than you think you are, and you're doing it for no reason. No one of value gives a fuck whether you're a virgin or not as long as YOU aren't giving a fuck about it. And if you're like me, you're building up a vein of irrational rage in a complex and rational mind that just doesn't need to be there.
<3 NeoGAF, you guys are cool as shit and don't need to hate yourselves for a second. Now I'm gonna go to sleep or I'm gonna die. Class tomorrow wooooo!!!
Ever heard of asexuality? It is quite normal, if rare thing. Meaning lack of interested in sex.
She's a perfect example of a (i guess, ask her if she's interested in girls in romantic, non-sexual way) hetero-romantic asexual person. They're rare but they exist. Doesn't harm anyone, doesn't make one any less mature.
As i said above, there's nothing wrong with her. Asexuality is and has always been part of humans, just like homosexuality or heterosexuality. EDIT i assume it is normal, ie not due to other issues, such as abuse, chemical inbalance or something like that.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality
Well it does happen where people have zero sex drive and are normal, but there's a good chance that there's something wrong with her. Is she on hormonal medication? Dealing with depression? Struggling with health issues? Latent lesbianism? A lack of experience or a history of abuse?
Not everyone lives in this ideal. It's not as clear cut as you're assuming. Maybe some simply look for other things to enjoy in life, or have a low sex drive that they could just take care of it themselves?
NinjaBoiX
Member
You are making that assumption because it conveniently validates your argument.
There could genuinely be something wrong with her, hormones, depression, whatever. I'd rather the member in question answer, not someone making assumptions based purely on conjecture.
I've never been in a relationship as I just don't have any interest in actively pursuing one at the moment. I don't think there's anything wrong with me...it's just not a priority.
I personally think it's something that should be discussed and it shouldn't get in the way of your relationship. Everybody's been a virgin at some point and if they're still a virgin when you're with them then maybe there are some legitimate reasons for that besides automatically placing that person in some sort of negative category. I'm not saying tell everyone you're a virgin, but if you're in a serious relationship I think it's crucial to let that person know. Losing your virginity can be a serious thing for some people and communication in all aspects of your relationship are crucial.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
"Virgin tight"? ugh
Nothing wrong with those who want to stay virgins for some reason, even though I really, really don't understand it, nor think they're happier that way, but whatever floats their boat.
Nothing wrong with those who want to stay virgins for some reason, even though I really, really don't understand it, nor think they're happier that way, but whatever floats their boat.
NinjaBoiX
Member
I think the majority of people with their virginity intact aren't that way through choice.
Nice RPJ by the way Anti.
Crazy.
Sexy.
Cool.
I'm in the same boat, but I guess to some people I'm screwed up since I'm still a virgin. It isn't like I wouldn't have sex if the occasion presented itself, I just don't care if or when it ever happens.
The Incarnation
Member
Something wrong with the image of a bunch of 30/40 somethings running around trying to get sex, just so that they can wear the image of what is normal in other people's eyes.
Could explain all those single mothers.
NinjaBoiX
Member
While I agree that you shouldn't beat yourself
Sex is the basis of all life on the planet. And it's the most fun you can have with your pants down.
Quizzes are trivial.
I have been with her for 11 years now.
Se has been to the doctor many times, hormones are fine. Depression, she is perfectly adjusted, happy, and if i cant tell if someone is depressed for 11 years, there is something wrong with ME, not her.
And as far as "is that what she told me?", not only her, but her last two relationships as well. She just doesnt have an interest. Being a closet lesbian, she is the type of person that if something wasnt working out, she would just leave, which is why she left her past ones, and has been with me ever since.
So again, nothing wrong with her, she just doesnt see the need.
Well, cause of asexuality seems to be absent from wikipedia... I did add edit, noting i assume it is normal.
With what little knowledge we have, i see no reason to assume there's something actually wrong. Of course there is no real reason to assume everything is all right either... but do you really assume there's something wrong whenever someone is different from normal?
EG, me. I don't want sex. Don't care. I'm not asexual. Something wrong with me? (Other than depression, there ain't, AFAIK).
Well shit. Now I'd like to know what.
I'm not even sure what's worse about being a virgin in your twenties, constantly having to read and hear you're not normal or actually being a virgin.
I NEED SCISSORS
Banned
People seem confused about why someone would still be a virgin. Off the top of my head:
- asexuality, more common than you think
- the social pressure to lose virginity is often the thing that makes people stay one for longer. Many virgins feel like everyone else now has more experience under their belt and that they won't be good enough, or have failed life, which makes them not even want to try in the first place. Just the factor of time is enough to make it increasingly awful.
- the opposite of slut shaming - virgin shaming - also occurs, increasing the anxiety.
- poor body image. it's all true that it's "the most fun you can have with your pants down", but some people don't think they look good naked or are ashamed of their body (me). it's not fun if you don't think you'll be good/big enough
- confidence issues, approach anxiety
- STD phobia
- social anxiety / issues with social skills. this is a whole other can of worms that itself can have probably dozens and dozens of reasons. usually needs to be worked through with a mental health professional.
- problems during high school. issues forming friendships.
- not an active focus in their life (not to be confused with asexuality). a person may be concentrating on work, study, family problems. A person may not like the idea of sex outside of a relationship, yet also has no time or interest in a relationship.
- asexuality, more common than you think
- the social pressure to lose virginity is often the thing that makes people stay one for longer. Many virgins feel like everyone else now has more experience under their belt and that they won't be good enough, or have failed life, which makes them not even want to try in the first place. Just the factor of time is enough to make it increasingly awful.
- the opposite of slut shaming - virgin shaming - also occurs, increasing the anxiety.
- poor body image. it's all true that it's "the most fun you can have with your pants down", but some people don't think they look good naked or are ashamed of their body (me). it's not fun if you don't think you'll be good/big enough
- confidence issues, approach anxiety
- STD phobia
- social anxiety / issues with social skills. this is a whole other can of worms that itself can have probably dozens and dozens of reasons. usually needs to be worked through with a mental health professional.
- problems during high school. issues forming friendships.
- not an active focus in their life (not to be confused with asexuality). a person may be concentrating on work, study, family problems. A person may not like the idea of sex outside of a relationship, yet also has no time or interest in a relationship.
I can't tell if this is a sincere question or a pot shot...
Yes please
I tried that last year. Men have no problem telling me how ugly I am haha.
So yes I do have it all figured out for me. And I like my plan
Agent Icebeezy
Welcome beautful toddler, Madison Elizabeth, to the horde!
My first GF knew I was a virgin. She would tell me that she couldn't wait to be alone so she could take my v card. She did and it was awesome.
Virginity seems so important until you lose it. Then you're left wondering what all the damn fuss was about.
To answer the original question, my first time I did tell my partner that I was a virgin. Now that I'm older, I'll still inform partners that I'm new to some things because it's better to be open and communicative than to lie or mislead.
Unless it's like a one night stand, in which case who cares. You're not going to answer their calls afterwards anyway.
To answer the original question, my first time I did tell my partner that I was a virgin. Now that I'm older, I'll still inform partners that I'm new to some things because it's better to be open and communicative than to lie or mislead.
Unless it's like a one night stand, in which case who cares. You're not going to answer their calls afterwards anyway.
Where the fuck do you live, seriously. I have never seen a girl get called ugly by a guy, especially multiple times.
Is that you in your avatar, btw?
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