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Virgin tight?

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This thread is weird and filled with unhealthy sexual attitudes on both sides of the argument. Sex isn't an accomplishment, but it is a pretty integral part of being a well adjusted adult. I'm not going to say that there is some kind of point where you should give up on life if you are a virgin because that's idiotic. However, experiencing the joy and intimacy associated with being in a sexual relationship is a wonderful thing, and a hardwired part of our biology. You can argue that it's not possible to miss something you've never had, but we're talking about a primary biological imperative here, not a brand of chocolate you've never eaten or a drug you've never taken. If you are an adult and you haven't experienced it then you probably do miss it without even knowing it.
 
This thread is weird and filled with unhealthy sexual attitudes on both sides of the argument. Sex isn't an accomplishment, but it is a pretty integral part of being a well adjusted adult. I'm not going to say that there is some kind of point where you should give up on life if you are a virgin because that's idiotic. However, experiencing the joy and intimacy associated with being in a sexual relationship is a wonderful thing, and a hardwired part of our biology. You can argue that it's not possible to miss something you've never had, but we're talking about a primary biological imperative here, not a brand of chocolate you've never eaten or a drug you've never taken. If you are an adult and you haven't experienced it then you probably do miss it without even knowing it.

Pretty much, I don't know what's so hard to grasp about this.
 
This thread is weird and filled with unhealthy sexual attitudes on both sides of the argument. Sex isn't an accomplishment, but it is a pretty integral part of being a well adjusted adult. I'm not going to say that there is some kind of point where you should give up on life if you are a virgin because that's idiotic. However, experiencing the joy and intimacy associated with being in a sexual relationship is a wonderful thing, and a hardwired part of our biology. You can argue that it's not possible to miss something you've never had, but we're talking about a primary biological imperative here, not a brand of chocolate you've never eaten or a drug you've never taken. If you are an adult and you haven't experienced it then you probably do miss it without even knowing it.
The problem with citing biological imperative is that you can use that as an excuse for anything that isn't out of social norms. It we aren't "hard wired" to let women have jobs, we aren't "hard wired" to accept homosexuality. These are absolute false equivalents, but that type of argument doesn't necessarily hold a lot of weight since there isn't a firm scientific interpretation saying "your brain says you MUST, in all circumstances, have sex or you're broken".

There is absolutely the potential for a healthy, well-adjusted person with a low sex drive (either due to biology or private past experiences) that would still fit most people's definition of "normal". Handsome and successful Tim Gunn isn't a bad choice to use as an example.

Of course, and I know this is probably your point, someone who isn't forming physical and emotional bonds with another person, yet wants to and is suffering because for whatever reason they cannot, and as a defense mechanism decides to "give up", seems to be caught in a a psychologically unhealthy mindset. Unfortunately some minor internet bullying or well-intended arguments in this thread probably don't accomplish much, and professional help might be the better route to uncover and deal with what some of the underlying issues would be (if they stem from more than just the poor choice to buy a fedora).

Also jeez, how do you meet people in general? Some people meet significant others through college, bars, okcupid dates, but then some people are stuck in very small towns where they feel like an outsider, or they're at a phase in their life where they're working in an office with four other people and their spin class is mostly people 20 years old than them. Sex is the easy part, finding an appropriate person to share it with is hard.
 
A girl didn't tell me she was one time, I found out when I looked down at my bed and realized I murdered some one...

I was terrible then so I just flipped over my bed...ahh immaturity
 
This thread is weird and filled with unhealthy sexual attitudes on both sides of the argument. Sex isn't an accomplishment, but it is a pretty integral part of being a well adjusted adult. I'm not going to say that there is some kind of point where you should give up on life if you are a virgin because that's idiotic. However, experiencing the joy and intimacy associated with being in a sexual relationship is a wonderful thing, and a hardwired part of our biology. You can argue that it's not possible to miss something you've never had, but we're talking about a primary biological imperative here, not a brand of chocolate you've never eaten or a drug you've never taken. If you are an adult and you haven't experienced it then you probably do miss it without even knowing it.
I agree with almost everything you said, but I find it a bit difficult to believe people are hardwired to miss it. In my experience the only time I've 'missed' sex is when I'm reminded of its existence by other people, which seems more like societal pressures rather than a biological drive. IMO it's not like basic social interaction (which a lack of can cause serious psychological issues, eg, solitary confinement) and someone can be relatively healthy as long as it's not brought to their attention regularly, though of course that's not the case in reality unless you isolate yourself from society.
 
I'm curious..if a women was a virgin and was 22 years old..why would she be seen as normal/not strange...but if a guy was, than that's somehow a failure of his manhood?
 
I'm curious..if a women was a virgin and was 22 years old..why would she be seen as normal/not strange...but if a guy was, than that's somehow a failure of his manhood?
Because of sexism and double standards.
BTW you should totally nail that cougar.
 
The problem with citing biological imperative is that you can use that as an excuse for anything that isn't out of social norms. It we aren't "hard wired" to let women have jobs, we aren't "hard wired" to accept homosexuality. These are absolute false equivalents, but that type of argument doesn't necessarily hold a lot of weight since there isn't a firm scientific interpretation saying "your brain says you MUST, in all circumstances, have sex or you're broken".

There is absolutely the potential for a healthy, well-adjusted person with a low sex drive (either due to biology or private past experiences) that would still fit most people's definition of "normal". Handsome and successful Tim Gunn isn't a bad choice to use as an example.

Of course, and I know this is probably your point, someone who isn't forming physical and emotional bonds with another person, yet wants to and is suffering because for whatever reason they cannot, and as a defense mechanism decides to "give up", seems to be caught in a a psychologically unhealthy mindset. Unfortunately some minor internet bullying or well-intended arguments in this thread probably don't accomplish much, and professional help might be the better route to uncover and deal with what some of the underlying issues would be (if they stem from more than just the poor choice to buy a fedora).

Also jeez, how do you meet people in general? Some people meet significant others through college, bars, okcupid dates, but then some people are stuck in very small towns where they feel like an outsider, or they're at a phase in their life where they're working in an office with four other people and their spin class is mostly people 20 years old than them. Sex is the easy part, finding an appropriate person to share it with is hard.

To be honest I generally disagree with the notion that behaviour can be explained biologically, but this is the exception. Sex is a prime motivator, as animals we more or less exist to procreate from an instinctual perspective so we are driven at a very basic level to get bizzy. The desire to do the horizontal fandango informs, both directly and indirectly, most of the things we do from the moment we become aware of our gonads.

Calling people maladjusted was actually more condescending than I intended, it's just hard to properly articulate. And you're spot on about how to go about resolving the issue, a lot of people in this thread are being needlessly cruel which is probably more of a comment on their insecurities than anything else.

As far as where to meet people? I am not the right guy to ask. It took travelling to the other side of the planet then getting stuck in a hurricane to meet my girl.
 
I'm a 21 year old virgin, currently looking for a partner. I'm not too concerned with losing my virginity as soon as I can but rather looking for a meaningful relationship, sex would come at some point in the relationship but I'm in no hurry.

Having social anxiety for as long as I can remember it is quite difficult to form relationships of any kind, let alone a sexual one. I have been making progress in terms of solving these anxiety issues over the past year or so but currently I am still a socially anxious gamer/anime fan that rarely leaves the house, lately I've been looking on online dating sites but I'm not sure I'm ready to start dating but then again not dating isn't going to make it any easier.

See. I don't fucking get people like this. So what if someone is a virgin in their early twenties? I was. I've probably slept with a few girls since then. What's the big deal? Not everyone in this world can get girls to sleep with them like you do, or have the sheer amount of confidence to get any girl they want. Some people are unlucky. And because of that.... Are you trying to insinuate something here? Fuck. It's people like you that make being a virgin in their twenties difficult. Grow up.
If I were gay I'd let you have my virginity. <3 Actually, probably not; I wouldn't be that easy. ;P
 
I'm curious..if a women was a virgin and was 22 years old..why would she be seen as normal/not strange...but if a guy was, than that's somehow a failure of his manhood?

It's believed that if a girl wants to get laid, she can easier than a guy can in the same position. A woman who is a virgin at that point is believed to be doing so by choice. I have some female acquaintances who have said as much - one set were talking about how depressingly easy it is to get laid, another told their friend that the fact she's a virgin is impressive, as guys have tried... and they have, I've seen't it. Though with the latter group, both the girl in question and her friends were saying that "only sluts give blowjobs." I stopped short of responding - why bother? But that is a sentiment that JokerOfSpades cannot co-sign. Sound like some dumb shit to me.
 
For those who say "I am a virgin and only want sex within a meaningfull relationship" and are in your mid twenties and have just fought off the worst social anxiety... don't. Don't make this a rule.
Unless you like to blink and find yourself in you mid thirties, ready to join the "Absolute Beginners" self help group.

I promise if you feel this is an issue (easy ident: porn yes, sex no), this will really hurt your mind over time.
 
Lost mine when I was 15. We stopped having sex when he got his first girlfriend. Those times were my first and last. Still was ashamed of being gay and it took me a long while to get comfortable enough with it. Although I'm still trying to find my place. 23 now. Can't say being in the closet during high school and college did wonders for my self esteem, the opposite really. Flat out hated myself for a while. Last year has been good though. It's just going slow. Right now it's more medical things making me hesistant to have sex then anything else. Can't cure things with just your will though.
 
I'm curious..if a women was a virgin and was 22 years old..why would she be seen as normal/not strange...but if a guy was, than that's somehow a failure of his manhood?

I would see it as just as strange. It's not normal where i live.

But sure, it is a double standard. Because everyone knows that she could lose it in 2 minutes if she wanted, so everyone would assume it was by choice. As for males, the assumption would be that it's not by choice and thus a "failure".
 
Lost mine when I was 15. We stopped having sex when he got his first girlfriend. Those times were my first and last. Still was ashamed of being gay and it took me a long while to get comfortable enough with it.
If it's any consolation whatsoever, I'm pretty sure 99% of both the supportive or dismissive arguments in this entire thread go out the window in regards to queer relationships.

Other than the much smaller dating pool and the amount of stigma is depending on whatever town you're in, there are so many tragic anecdotal examples where someone can only express that side of himself when he's drunk, because it "doesn't count."

It's little solace that things are better in that regard then ten years ago, and ten years before that. If you're lucky enough to live in a major city, there are support groups and organizations like "gay for good" which does charity work and enables queer men to meet one another without the immediate pressure of a blind date.

I would never want to presume anything when you mentioned a medical issue, but I am surprised and always a little happy when I see therapists or psychologists mention that they part of their practice includes helping dealing with sexual identity issues. Help like that has probably been exponentially harder to find the further back you go.

Regardless, I wish you the best of luck.

But sure, it is a double standard. Because everyone knows that she could lose it in 2 minutes if she wanted, so everyone would assume it was by choice. As for males, the assumption would be that it's not by choice and thus a "failure".
If you take okcupid as a microcosm of the gender politics of dating, a woman of average attraction can make a profile and be bombarded with requests from people who's usernames are along the lines of "fatal cumsh0t", whereas a man of average attractiveness would rarely get a message, and instead has to be the one sending out requests to the ethereal female inboxes.

I don't really think there's anything more to read into that other than that gender divide is entirely a social construct, but thems the tricky breaks, and probably why there's a bigger stigma for a male when his v-card is unstamped.
 
I don't really think there's anything more to read into that other than that gender divide is entirely a social construct, but thems the tricky breaks, and probably why there's a bigger stigma for a male when his v-card is unstamped.

This is not about gender, it's about sex.
 
For those who say "I am a virgin and only want sex within a meaningfull relationship" and are in your mid twenties and have just fought off the worst social anxiety... don't. Don't make this a rule.
Unless you like to blink and find yourself in you mid thirties, ready to join the "Absolute Beginners" self help group.

I promise if you feel this is an issue (easy ident: porn yes, sex no), this will really hurt your mind over time.
I'm willing to take that risk.
 
My first time was this awkward mish mash of genitals.

Plenty of "Are you in yet?" "That doesn't count." "I expected more."

I then married her just so I could hear it everyday.

Then I woke up stuck to my bed, ashamed... and slightly lighter.
 
Randomly lost it to a Mexican prostitute last night. Was drinking with my friend at a couple bars and he got pretty drunk since I was the one driving. We were heading back to his place and he was like "Dude, do you wanna get laid tonight? Alrighty man, don't tell anyone but..." and yada yada he gets me a prostitute in a hotel within the hour and pays for me to boot (I will pay him back of course)

She was definitely a 7/10, with certain aspects of her steering closer to 6/10. She provided the condoms (we went through a couple). We got down to business pretty quickly and I proceeded to clumsily pound away for 40 minutes or so in a few different positions. I had drank a good bit too, and while I was able to maintain a raging boner, I couldn't cum for the life of my hypothetical future first-born child. It was extremely late too so I kept on falling asleep here and there. I was in no shape to smang it but I swear I gave it everything I had and managed to really pound it a couple times. She started giving me a handjob and massaged my ball sack. Ate her out too (didn't like the taste but hey I got EXP). Then when it was clear that my boner would not go away we spent like 40 minutes cuddling and making out while whispering sweet nothings into each others ears. She's actually a pretty cool girl who's trying to learn English so she can go to school in the states. My spanish is extremely limited so we spent a lot of time laughing at trying to understand what the fuck we were saying to one another.

It's really not a big deal either way. I'm not a different person, for better or worse. I had a hell of a good time though, especially for $120. She was extremely surprised when I told her she took my virginity lol

She said I could come see her again but I think I'm gonna steer clear. If I was a millionaire I'd probably give her a few thousand so she could...do something else with her life. Hopefully I don't come back to this thread in a few weeks and update with "hey bad news guys apparently I got herpes". But hey I crossed one off the bucket list.

I came out of the hotel 2 and a half hours from when I went in, my hair was a mess, I was still extremely buzzed on alcohol, I was fucking tired, but I walked back to my car knowing that the day was seized. Maybe not in the most dignified way possible, but the day was mine.

1871013_o.gif
 
Bro you went down on a Mexican prostitute.

A Mexican Prostitute.

I hope you washed your mouth out with bleach this morning.
 
we spent like 40 minutes cuddling and making out while whispering sweet nothings into each others ears.

Yeah she was actually mocking you in Spanish btw.
 
The cuddling really is the best part.

It really was. Everything else was basically assisted masturbation.

The sheer silliness of the whole matter combined with my inability to cum combined with the language barrier combined with the alcohol made for one strange, memorable, fun night. Somehow thrusting my penis into a girl wasn't as fun as exchanging dumb laughs and holding hands (which we totally did). It was like we went from fucking to some strange escort companionship fetish.

As for the cunnilingus, so far so good this morning. No cold sores or sore throat or any strange sensations. I still have the faintest taste of Robitussin on my tongue, though.

My idiocy aside, I assume I should get screened?

Yeah she was actually mocking you in Spanish btw.

Claro que si.
 
She was definitely a 7/10, with certain aspects of her steering closer to 6/10.

I need some clarification on this. As far as I know you're not allowed to break a girl's number down in to sub-numbers. she's either premium quality or she isn't.
 
I remember once, I was fucking an ex for like, an hour. We were both obviously getting a bit bored, she wasn't as, um, lubed as she was, and I was flying at half mast.

Anyway, it was brought to a swift end, when I leaned forward, and glanced passed her at the tv behind.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Well, the game starts in 5 minutes."

She didn't talk to me for a few hours.

Which was nice, I got to watch the whole match in peace!
 
I like the guys judging someone who went down on a prostitute when most/all of you will lick asshole at some point in your life.
 
Randomly lost it to a Mexican prostitute last night. Was drinking with my friend at a couple bars and he got pretty drunk since I was the one driving. We were heading back to his place and he was like "Dude, do you wanna get laid tonight? Alrighty man, don't tell anyone but..." and yada yada he gets me a prostitute in a hotel within the hour and pays for me to boot (I will pay him back of course)

She was definitely a 7/10, with certain aspects of her steering closer to 6/10. She provided the condoms (we went through a couple). We got down to business pretty quickly and I proceeded to clumsily pound away for 40 minutes or so in a few different positions. I had drank a good bit too, and while I was able to maintain a raging boner, I couldn't cum for the life of my hypothetical future first-born child. It was extremely late too so I kept on falling asleep here and there. I was in no shape to smang it but I swear I gave it everything I had and managed to really pound it a couple times. She started giving me a handjob and massaged my ball sack. Ate her out too (didn't like the taste but hey I got EXP). Then when it was clear that my boner would not go away we spent like 40 minutes cuddling and making out while whispering sweet nothings into each others ears. She's actually a pretty cool girl who's trying to learn English so she can go to school in the states. My spanish is extremely limited so we spent a lot of time laughing at trying to understand what the fuck we were saying to one another.

It's really not a big deal either way. I'm not a different person, for better or worse. I had a hell of a good time though, especially for $120. She was extremely surprised when I told her she took my virginity lol

She said I could come see her again but I think I'm gonna steer clear. If I was a millionaire I'd probably give her a few thousand so she could...do something else with her life. Hopefully I don't come back to this thread in a few weeks and update with "hey bad news guys apparently I got herpes". But hey I crossed one off the bucket list.

I came out of the hotel 2 and a half hours from when I went in, my hair was a mess, I was still extremely buzzed on alcohol, I was fucking tired, but I walked back to my car knowing that the day was seized. Maybe not in the most dignified way possible, but the day was mine.

1871013_o.gif

How old are you?
 
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