You see a woman crying in the parking lot, do you ask her if she's ok?

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Stinkles said:
Awkward social thing:

Ever coincidentally walked behind or near a lone woman at night? I have. I always try to make some distance so she's not scared, like, crossing the road and then overtaking so you are neither near nor behind.

Of course the irony is that now she is LESS safe than she was while a normal non-murdery person was "following" her.

Used to happen to me a lot during college years. Never failed to feel awkward.
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Dude, this stuff doesn't even cross my mind.

I think there is some weird mental stuff going on if when you coincidentally walk near a lone woman at night your first thought and instinct is to modify your behavior to try to signal to her that you AREN'T going to rape her.

Jesus.
 
Stinkles said:
Awkward social thing:

Ever coincidentally walked behind or near a lone woman at night? I have. I always try to make some distance so she's not scared, like, crossing the road and then overtaking so you are neither near nor behind.

Of course the irony is that now she is LESS safe than she was while a normal non-murdery person was "following" her.

Used to happen to me a lot during college years. Never failed to feel awkward.
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Still happens to me, a lot. It doesn't help that I'm growing a beard and not taking good care of it. It also doesn't help that I tend to walk really fast. But I also get off the sidewalk and give them a wide berth so that (I think) they'll feel "safe".
youngwerther said:
Dude, this stuff doesn't even cross my mind.

I think there is some weird mental stuff going on if when you coincidentally walk near a lone woman at night your first thought and instinct is to modify your behavior to try to signal to her that you AREN'T going to rape her.

Jesus.
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Eh, perhaps it's never happened to you but I can see some women getting nervous that there's a guy that's walking behind, gaining ground on them. So no, it's not "some weird mental stuff".
 
If she was crying face-in-palms I'd probably just continue on my way, I'd assume she's dealing with something on her own. If she's face up and like wiping tears away I assume it'd probably be more of a "I'm lost/someone's lost/I'm overwhelmed an need help" kind of situation, so I'd probably stop at that point.
 
I'm not going to approach a vulnerable stranger in a parking lot. Lots of room for misinterpretation of my intentions i.e. mace to the face. If I were crying in a parking lot I'd be grateful if everyone kept their distance.
 
Of course I would, what kind of question is that?

FunkyPajamas said:
Still happens to me, a lot. It doesn't help that I'm growing a beard and not taking good care of it. It also doesn't help that I tend to walk really fast. But I also get off the sidewalk and give them a wide berth so that (I think) they'll feel "safe".
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Well, to be honest, you do look a little like a complete fucking degenerate.

I try to cough really loud so they are aware of my presence and gain sympathy so they dont mace me. :(
 
I did this several weeks back when we had the ice storm in Dallas. This girl was upset because her friend ditched her and took her stuff (cell phone, purse) so she couldn't get ahold of anyone to get her. Gave her a ride home. If she would've said no, I wouldn't have been offended or anything; it's understandable but I figured I might as well offer.
 
Stinkles said:
Awkward social thing:

Ever coincidentally walked behind or near a lone woman at night? I have. I always try to make some distance so she's not scared, like, crossing the road and then overtaking so you are neither near nor behind.

Of course the irony is that now she is LESS safe than she was while a normal non-murdery person was "following" her.

Used to happen to me a lot during college years. Never failed to feel awkward.
Click to expand...

Used to do a lot of night jogging when I was younger. I've come to the conclusion that people don't like strangers running up behind them in the dark.
 
Is it a nice neighborhood? Is it day or night? How old is she? Am I alone?

These are just a few of the many variables that would affect my decision.
 
Bite her butt, and she'll be totes OK.
It's super simple stuff.


The one time I tried to help I got slapped because I looked like her ex.
 
nah i wouldnt care unless i knew her or if shes hurt physically or something

otherwise who cares everyone has a bad day suck it up
 
Sure I do. It's all part of the rich tapestry of human life and all that.

Same if it's a man, same if they're bleeding/crying/in whatever trouble.

Why on earth not?
 
If I thought they needed help I would ask, but otherwise, no. A woman crying in a parking lot doesn't necessarily mean they need or want a man to come pet them. The whole hypothetical sounds more like a fantasy considering how often I've encountered it in my life (zero times).
 
No, I've been threatened by mace at least twice just by walking behind different women heading to my car. I mean I can somewhat understand if I was following them, but they came to my side of the road(which I actively tried avoiding being on the same side to not make them feel threatened).

No, I'm not going to try to comfort a distraught person, I might ask from 10 feet away if they need help or something, but fuck getting maced.
 
Crying, no. People cry for a lot of reasons a lot of the time, and there's a very good chance they don't want to be interrupted. I know I wouldn't.

It's not like I'm entirely neutral noninterventionist, though. If someone say, vomited, or was bleeding, or something like that, I'd definitely get involved. But emotional turmoil is a very personal thing, and I don't think I can in good conscience get involved like that.
 
Unless she's setting you up to be robbed or something, there is absolutely no risk that can come from simply checking on her to see if there is something that you can do to help. Hell I would do that for anyone, man or woman.
 
besada said:
If I see a human in a parking lot crying, I'll stop and ask them if they're okay.
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This. I don't mind helping others in need (if I can of course). Not everyone has a perfect life so it's always good to have someone to listen you.

Asking if someone is ok doesn't hurt. They might find it annoying but I prefer them saying they don't need help to my face than doing nothing and walk away. But that's just me.
 
I don't know, a guy crying seems more likely to go bad. Guy with raised emotions getting confronted while crying, who knows what he'll do. At least where I live it wouldn't be unreasonable for someone to try to fight you just to make themselves feel like more of a man after crying.
 
youngwerther said:
Dude, this stuff doesn't even cross my mind.

I think there is some weird mental stuff going on if when you coincidentally walk near a lone woman at night your first thought and instinct is to modify your behavior to try to signal to her that you AREN'T going to rape her.

Jesus.
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Are you literally using that information to speculate on my mental wellbeing?

Have you ever considered, even while typing this, how a lone woman would feel being followed at night?
 
It's possible, yeah. I've asked what was wrong when I saw some girl in my dorm that looked dejected.

I may do the same thing for a guy.
 
PaulExcellent said:
Bite her butt, and she'll be totes OK.
It's super simple stuff.


The one time I tried to help I got slapped because I looked like her ex.
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You're ok in my book.

also original avatar quote.
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Liquidsnake said:
What has happened to help and take care of your fellow mankind?

What would stop you from asking her if she is ok? Are you afraid she would be instantly scared of you because you are a stranger?


I wish we cared for one another more than we do now.
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Heck yes. Done it plenty of times. Made their day better because of it (they stopped crying and said I made their day better). Made a couple of nice friends that way too.
 
BobTheFork said:
I assume it means that if you would check on a woman's well being but not a man's, it's sexist...which is a fair point.
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It's not a good point, though.

Just say you would check on anyone or you wouldn't at all. Not sure why people are trying to turn this into a sexist debate.
 
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