And less testicles.
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50 Shades of Grey- The movie: Reviews
- Thread starter alfredofroylan
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I think we've already discussed this in the thread.
Also, my fantasies are my own.
Monocle
Member
Fantasies are fantasies: imaginary scenarios you have complete control over. There's absolutely nothing wrong with someone enjoying a fantasy in the privacy of their own mind, where real world consequences and issues of consent are totally immaterial. No one has a right shame someone else for how they use their imagination, or what kinds of fictional scenarios they choose to share with a trusted partner. I mean, where's the harm?
Scarecrow
Member
But more boobs, right??
plasmawave
Banned
Messofanego
Banned
I'm sorry but that is not possible.
I never heard Optimus go on and on about his inner goddess.
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
Member
Its really,really bad. I didn't think a movie could be as bad as that, but its even worse than my already low expectations.
At least it would give him a personality. The only personality Autobots have, if you can call it that, is that they're the good guys.
Secret Fawful
Member
I stared in shock at the movie screen when the ending happened, then all I could do was blurt out "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?"
The worst ending I have ever seen. Then my wife revealed she took me to this just to troll me, because of the ending.
The entire movie is such a weird experience. It was like I was watching something with blockbuster production value, but the dialogue and actions on screen were those of a bad fan fiction. "Holy cow." Holy waste of my fucking time. The movie is two hours of building up to nothing. Plus, almost condoning child molestation by barely arguing against it was so "lovely"...and by lovely I mean disgusting and upsetting. Twilight: New fucking Moon was a better movie, and that one nearly put me to sleep. And here I thought this movie may have been salvaged. Never getting fooled again. The positive reviews are full of shit. That problematic portrayal of bondage too.
The worst ending I have ever seen. Then my wife revealed she took me to this just to troll me, because of the ending.
The entire movie is such a weird experience. It was like I was watching something with blockbuster production value, but the dialogue and actions on screen were those of a bad fan fiction. "Holy cow." Holy waste of my fucking time. The movie is two hours of building up to nothing. Plus, almost condoning child molestation by barely arguing against it was so "lovely"...and by lovely I mean disgusting and upsetting. Twilight: New fucking Moon was a better movie, and that one nearly put me to sleep. And here I thought this movie may have been salvaged. Never getting fooled again. The positive reviews are full of shit. That problematic portrayal of bondage too.
That's because Bad Fanfiction is literally what this is. Bad Twilight Fanfiction.
OK, stop it guys, you're making me want to watch it now. It'll be hilarious.
The dialogue goes against every action Optimus makes. He is one of the most fucked up 'heroes' in cinematic history. Dialogue only works if the long-term plan is Optimus as a genocidal, self-deluded supervillain.
Rebel Leader
THE POWER OF BUTTERSCOTCH BOTTOMS
....seriously?
You Know Nothing
Member
Jamie Dornan's already shown his goods in a fashion spread.
I suppose he's not comfortable doing it here because it's a major mainstream movie. But still, I'm pretty pressed about it.
Sho_Nuff82
Member
The ending of this movie had half the theater (I'm guessing we were the half that didn't read the books) going "wtf?"
There's barely any plot as it is, and the first movie didn't have a resolution so much as it just says, "see you next year!"
Overall the movie was better than it had any right to be considering how paper thin the source material is. The side characters are just window dressing; you're introduced to both character's families, and they don't do or say anything to advance the plot or change the characters in any real way. Same with Ana's roommate and Christian's driver. Ana herself hasn't evolved at all from her Bella source material. The only notable part of her personality is that she likes English lit; otherwise you're left to fill in the blanks on her. Perfect blank slate for audience insertion, no pun intended.
The plot boils down to:
Ana: Christian I love you and want to be with you like a normal couple!
Christian: I'll do couply stuff just enough to keep you around, but I need to beat the shit out of you because reasons.
There are literally 4 to 5 episodes of this playing out over the last 60 minutes of run time. The reason the movie is surprisingly decent is the cinematography. The sex is actually quite classy and the actress actually sells being really into it. I was expecting it to be far more risqué, at least to Sharon Stone levels, but it was just kinky enough to elicit a few "damn"s from me. The complete omission of Ana's embarrassing internal monologue really, really helps. Christian showing off his expensive rides also did a good job of capturing the beauty of the pacific northwest.
Now as to the real reason I went to see this... I'm not going to say that this movie got me laid, but I will say that the lady in question got super freaky mid-session and basically begged me to screw her as hard as I could. So mission accomplished I guess.
All in all, doesntmatterhadsex/10.
There's barely any plot as it is, and the first movie didn't have a resolution so much as it just says, "see you next year!"
Overall the movie was better than it had any right to be considering how paper thin the source material is. The side characters are just window dressing; you're introduced to both character's families, and they don't do or say anything to advance the plot or change the characters in any real way. Same with Ana's roommate and Christian's driver. Ana herself hasn't evolved at all from her Bella source material. The only notable part of her personality is that she likes English lit; otherwise you're left to fill in the blanks on her. Perfect blank slate for audience insertion, no pun intended.
The plot boils down to:
Ana: Christian I love you and want to be with you like a normal couple!
Christian: I'll do couply stuff just enough to keep you around, but I need to beat the shit out of you because reasons.
There are literally 4 to 5 episodes of this playing out over the last 60 minutes of run time. The reason the movie is surprisingly decent is the cinematography. The sex is actually quite classy and the actress actually sells being really into it. I was expecting it to be far more risqué, at least to Sharon Stone levels, but it was just kinky enough to elicit a few "damn"s from me. The complete omission of Ana's embarrassing internal monologue really, really helps. Christian showing off his expensive rides also did a good job of capturing the beauty of the pacific northwest.
Now as to the real reason I went to see this... I'm not going to say that this movie got me laid, but I will say that the lady in question got super freaky mid-session and basically begged me to screw her as hard as I could. So mission accomplished I guess.
All in all, doesntmatterhadsex/10.
Well, I've just come out of the screening...my brain dump:
1. As a film qua film, it's a bit of a non-entity. It felt extraordinarily sanitised.
2. There's very little actual sex in it and the sex scenes were very, very tame.
3. Consent and abuse are just irrelevant. The film belabours the consensual nature of their relationship. In fact, it forms the majority of what little plot there is.
Overall, I don't think it deserves the amount of fuss we've given it in this thread. I understand that the book is far more explicit. This felt very, very safe and Hollywood-y.
On the plus side, Jamie Dornan is hot and has a very sexy body.
1. As a film qua film, it's a bit of a non-entity. It felt extraordinarily sanitised.
2. There's very little actual sex in it and the sex scenes were very, very tame.
3. Consent and abuse are just irrelevant. The film belabours the consensual nature of their relationship. In fact, it forms the majority of what little plot there is.
Overall, I don't think it deserves the amount of fuss we've given it in this thread. I understand that the book is far more explicit. This felt very, very safe and Hollywood-y.
On the plus side, Jamie Dornan is hot and has a very sexy body.
HolyBaikal
Banned
I agree, Fifty Shades of Grey is misogynistic and awful. I haven't read it... and I won't read it... because it would be painful.. But everything I know about it is bad.. I know more than I would like to..
But then again... I'm a kink critical feminist. I guess I'm a radical feminist in many ways..
But then again... I'm a kink critical feminist. I guess I'm a radical feminist in many ways..
There was absolutely nothing misogynistic about the film. Don't get your knickers in a twist unnecessarily. It was just romantic fluff with a tiny bit of consensual spanking.
Oh God the prize pack...
Sho_Nuff82
Member
Just wanted to quote this. I haven't read the novel except for a few blurbs, but the "no consent" thing is completely untrue about the movie. Consent is one of the biggest themes of the film, and there is a critical scene where the two mains discuss at length what she is willing and unwilling to consent to. And yes, they use safe words.
This criticism is unwarranted from what I saw.
Edit: I see sploatee came to the same conclusion. For those that have experienced both, is this drastically different from the novel version? Or are people judging this based on hearsay?
Heh, agreed here. My wife has never watched porn (and that's fine) but she had a similar reaction to when I used to watch porn with previous women.
Count Dookkake
Member
If you want some sexy, funny and cute kink, check out Duke of Burgundy.
So I saw Kingsmen and this Friday, paid for Kingsmen, hopped to this once King was done and fuck, this movie was boring, not even Dakota's nakedness made this worth sitting though. Dorman has the emotion as a rock and everything else feels really fucked up.
Just watch Secretary.
Just watch Secretary.
Yes, it's just a non-point.
My partner said the sex in the novel was far, far more explicit and there was far more of it. She also said the novel also went out of its way to emphasise consent.
I can't stress it enough really - those who are anxious about the film's depiction of consent and/or abuse are just worrying about nothing. More concerning to me was why we got quite a lot of boob and very little willy!
Amen to all of this, especially the Outlander rec.
I really wish people would stop making judgements about anything that they haven't experienced at all. Your second sentence completely invalidates your first one. Use your own brain to form your own opinions and please stop regurgitating what other people (who probably haven't read the material either) say. What is the point?
Exactly! It really truly was just a pass-the-time "chick-flick". It was nice to just to watch Jamie Dornan do his thing. Whether you love it or hate it as a film, there is simply nothing there to get so het up about. Especially if you're haven't even seen the bloody thing!
what?, there's more?
There's 3 books and there's no way they won't do a 2 Part Movie for the last one.
HolyBaikal
Banned
You can know a lot about something.. without having watched it.
I know more than I would like and I'm very much not going to read or watch it.
I know more than I would like and I'm very much not going to read or watch it.
To some extent, we should be able to rely on others' experiences and reviews to inform ourselves. Reading some excerpts and some solid reviews and analyses should really be enough.
Exactly, because everything else boils down to a "were you there" argument.
But in this case, you probably shouldn't extrapolate from the books to the film.
Femmeworth
Banned
The only way I could watch it is VOD but that is only through cable. :\
Messofanego
Banned
Got a ticket to see that on 20th.
Other women have pointed that out hehe http://m.neogaf.com/showpost.php?p=152008982
I think it's because of stupid MPAA rules.
pauljeremiah
Gold Member
There is a scene in 50 Shades Of Grey where Christian dances with Ana to a Frank Sinatra song, which makes sense, whenever I have been alone with someone and wanted to set the mood right, I would turn on some Frank Sinatra. I was just so bored watching this scene (and film) that I asked myself, "When Frank was entertaining a woman, who would he turn on?"
BeforeU
Oft hope is born when all is forlorn.
omg, went to see this with my gf today. I have never seen such a boring, pointless, lameass, cheesy piece of shit in a theater. IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
seriously what the fuck was that. Ending made me wish if I can get my money back. Saw it in UltraAVX fucking 16$.
Nothing in this movie makes any sense what so ever.
Oh I am virgin, but since you are a billionaire , you can fuck me.
No character development and actions are not justified what so ever. That ending man, elevator scene lmao.
seriously what the fuck was that. Ending made me wish if I can get my money back. Saw it in UltraAVX fucking 16$.
Nothing in this movie makes any sense what so ever.
Oh I am virgin, but since you are a billionaire , you can fuck me.
No character development and actions are not justified what so ever. That ending man, elevator scene lmao.
It was the woman who turned Frank on, entertainment would then follow.
pauljeremiah
Gold Member
Nicely put
I think it's perfectly reasonable to use other peoples' opinions to decide for yourself if you want to consume some form of media or entertainment (or anything really).
My problem is people stating as an absolute fact that this is "misogynistic and awful" or whatever even though they are only basing this off of someone else's opinions. Just saying it's awful, even though millions of women and men have read the books and for whatever reason enjoyed them, should never be accepted especially when it is such a minor thing to read the book and form your own thoughts.
And if you don't want to read it (or watch it in this case), stop talking about it and certainly stop saying that no one should like it because of someone told you it was bad.
That's really all I can say about it. So many of the posts in this thread are from people who didn't even read the book and have no intention of watching the movie but have made very strong opinions about it based off of what? Someone else.
Saw it with the girlfriend, it was pretty shit.
However, a couple of things.
1. The whole thing about "She said stop/the safeword and he kept going" wasn't in the movie. I dunno if that came from the books or something (I didn't read them) but people lodging that complaint at it need to do their research. There's definitely nothing rapey as far as the movie goes.
2. The whole thing was just so dumb, Dakota Johnson was hot, okay, I can get behind that.
3. Going into point 2, maybe I just missed something, but (spoilers for the end):
My two cents. We both expected it to be bad, and weren't disappointed as far as that went.
However, a couple of things.
1. The whole thing about "She said stop/the safeword and he kept going" wasn't in the movie. I dunno if that came from the books or something (I didn't read them) but people lodging that complaint at it need to do their research. There's definitely nothing rapey as far as the movie goes.
2. The whole thing was just so dumb, Dakota Johnson was hot, okay, I can get behind that.
3. Going into point 2, maybe I just missed something, but (spoilers for the end):
She freaks out about him wanting to "punish" her by whipping her, which is that not what they just did like three times before in the movie?
My two cents. We both expected it to be bad, and weren't disappointed as far as that went.
Sho_Nuff82
Member
I think the difference was, in the previous sessions he did some light whipping or spanking to tease or punish her. It was all still very sensual. She asked him to do the worst thing he could think of, and he actually hurt her, it wasn't fun or kinky, and she's finally like, "why would you do that?" She looked like Kunta Kinte on that table.
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