I wonder what Detective GAF's opinion is on this matter.
Oh, man, I would love this thread to turn into Detective-GAF at work.
I wonder what Detective GAF's opinion is on this matter.
The OP calls him "A very good friend" in the thread title
A very good friend of mine, who is also a co-worker is cheating on her husband
OP you need to listen to me and no one else. You are leaving anyways. You have the perfect opportunity to experience a grudge fuck. Go for that. Don't say anything. Just take a to a cheap hotel, leave some kids in her vagina, and then hop on a plane back to your mother land.
I hate the whole "snitches get stitches" culture.
That being said, do NOT tell the husband. You don't know what the deal is. You may think you do but you don't. You could be destroying lives and families for no reason. Not worth it. So she's maybe fucking some other dude? So what? It's not like she's being abusive or making off with the family finances or anything, she's just having sex with someone else. Sure it sucks, but it's not so life-threatening that you need to butt in.
I'm also getting a kind of skeezy white knight vibe off of your story as well.
Tell the husband anonymously. If my wife was cheating I would hope somebody would fucking tell me instead of "minding their own business".
In all my years on the internet I have never seen a woman, who have options aplenty when it comes to dating, make this type of thread. The OPs always sound jealous. If she were throwing it at OP, he wouldn't be saying anything.That's kind of my take on it. Either he had feelings for this person at one time, which has turned into distaste because he is disappointed in her or he has some kind of warped morality that compels him.
From OP:
Fuck no lol
This is what I would do.Tell your friend. You don't want to be a culpable party in the lie. He deserves to know, even though he might not want to hear it initially.
The mind your business reasoning sounds so selfish to me.
Taking a situation about the lives of others and making it all about yourself... ignoring it entirely because you're worried about creating a messy situation and being collateral damage. It's like ignoring someone being physically attacked because you're too concerned with your own safety.
That's not to say there's a specific, one size fits all answer for these situations, like with most situations. But ignoring it entirely isn't it.
Both of those examples are infinitely worse than cheating, in my very subjective opinion.What in the world is this shit?
No reason not to tell him, specially if he's a good friend of yours. This is what friends do.
Fuck that, "tell him" is teh definitation of selfishness. It si bothering you so you going to shit up other people's lives? Without a whole picture? You don't know what kind of deals they got in teh bedroom? And unnless you are going to be there to pick up the pieces you should just keep your mouth shot.
What in the world is this shit?
Fuck that, "tell him" is teh definitation of selfishness. It si bothering you so you going to shit up other people's lives? Without a whole picture? You don't know what kind of deals they got in teh bedroom? And unnless you are going to be there to pick up the pieces you should just keep your mouth shot.
Both of those examples are infinitely worse than cheating, in my very subjective opinion.
Worth putting it in perspective that it's a tragedy for the family perhaps indicative of something not working in their relationship, but if you take away the empathy and identifying with the husband, there's any number of worse things she could be doing to her husband that probably wouldn't inspire nearly an emotional outrage.
Fuck that, "tell him" is teh definitation of selfishness. It si bothering you so you going to shit up other people's lives? Without a whole picture? You don't know what kind of deals they got in teh bedroom? And unnless you are going to be there to pick up the pieces you should just keep your mouth shot.
The marriage is already ruined if she's cheating. Hiding it from him is actually making his life worse, because he's wasting time with someone that doesn't love him and he could be using this time to find someone that does. It will also give him the opportunity to get tested.
If the relationship is open, nothing bad will happen because he already knows. No harm done.
That being said, do NOT tell the husband. You don't know what the deal is. You may think you do but you don't. You could be destroying lives and families for no reason. Not worth it. So she's maybe fucking some other dude? So what? It's not like she's being abusive or making off with the family finances or anything, she's just having sex with someone else. Sure it sucks, but it's not so life-threatening that you need to butt in.
If your wife was cheating on you, would you want to know?
She gave me her phone to fix something and yea, I saw the text messages. Guilty, but that made me 100% sure. On top of that, during this happy hour, the guy straight up asked her if he was wearing "Come Fuck Me" shoes, offered to undo her bra, they exchanged text messages in front of me (she told me she was on facebook, but I could see her phone's screen and that was a lie).
Anyways, if she is already poisoning your reputation at work, she's already doing the same with her husband, too.
So by the time you present this 'information' to him, he's going to think you're just some crazy, jealous guy that is trying to bully her and ruin her life. His protective instincts are going to kick in and he's going to be pissed at you instead of thanking you.
This is why you don't get involved.
Ya why not..gotta talk to her to make sure she's at least using protection and won't give me STDs.
How bout not having an affair. What a fucked up scenario you propose.
OP, you should absolutely talk to someone about this. If you don't feel comfortable going to the husband directly, then talk to one or both of the participants and tell them you're going to talk to the husband if they continue things.
I'm not saying I'd have an affair, but I do understand why it happens. And face it, it does happen. Again, we don't know what's going on. Maybe they are on the verge of a divorce and this affair is what's keeping one of them in the relationship which is more beneficial for the kids.
Telling the OP to tell the husband is the absolutely wrong thing to do. If he feels uncomfortable with the situation he should move on and find new friends to play with that share his moral altitude. And that's what everyone here that's advocating telling the husband needs to do.
Just go all "So, Samatha, I've had a chat with your husband and I think he knows" and see how that goes.
If she's not named Samatha, I'm fresh out.