AbortedWalrusFetus
Member
Sort of a "do unto others" moment. If your wife was cheating on you, and someone you knew found out, would you want them to tell you? I sure as hell would.
A very good friend of mine is cheating on her husband and I don't know what to do...
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Sort of a "do unto others" moment. If your wife was cheating on you, and someone you knew found out, would you want them to tell you? I sure as hell would.
Why do you give a shit about cheaters?
crimzonflame
Member
Its not snitching if you're not part of the game.
shinobi602
Member
I'd be a terrible fucking human being for doing something like that, which I wouldn't, if I did, I would deserve it.
First of all, she's a terrible person who deserves to get shit over this.
Secondly, all these mind your own business posts are making me sick. Don't let her get away with this, the husband deserves to know.
That said, don't go in unprepared. Confront her, first of all. Tell her to come clean or else, jada jada. Actually talk to her about it. Record that shit. Same thing with the other co-worker. Now, if she still tries shit, tell her about the recordings you have, and try to make her confess again. If she doesn't, go to the husband. Tell him and, if necessary, show him. Anonymously, if you want.
Oh, and if possible, get both of the cheaters fired.
Secondly, all these mind your own business posts are making me sick. Don't let her get away with this, the husband deserves to know.
That said, don't go in unprepared. Confront her, first of all. Tell her to come clean or else, jada jada. Actually talk to her about it. Record that shit. Same thing with the other co-worker. Now, if she still tries shit, tell her about the recordings you have, and try to make her confess again. If she doesn't, go to the husband. Tell him and, if necessary, show him. Anonymously, if you want.
Oh, and if possible, get both of the cheaters fired.
It sounded like a great plan in my head
That's a tough one, but it really comes with what you can bear to live with. It's impossible for us on a forum to know how close you are to these people, so it really depends on that.
If you can live with a clear conscience then let it just dislove into the background of life but if you love these people you may have to get involved but only do it if you absolutely must. The only plus side is you can wait right before you head off to India and can avoid someone getting really mad and trying to physically hurt you.
If you can live with a clear conscience then let it just dislove into the background of life but if you love these people you may have to get involved but only do it if you absolutely must. The only plus side is you can wait right before you head off to India and can avoid someone getting really mad and trying to physically hurt you.
I would confront the cheaters. Tell them they're being stupidly obvious and they're putting you in a fucked up situation considering your close ties to everyone involved. It becomes your business when it affects your quality of life, which it obviously is, since this is something you're forced to be around both in and out of work.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
Fuck all of you "mind your own business" people. Let him know, somehow, OP.
SwiftDeath
Member
I would confront her about it and her reaction would likely dictate my further action
It became your business when she made it obvious to you she was cheating
I'm sorry but it's her fault OP knows
Still you should give her a chance to explain although I doubt it would mean much
What happened exactly?
It became your business when she made it obvious to you she was cheating
I'm sorry but it's her fault OP knows
Still you should give her a chance to explain although I doubt it would mean much
What happened exactly?
The OP could get into a fuck load of drama if he gets involved. Plus he doesn't have solid, irrefutable evidence that she is cheating. More so, he could cause so much drama, to the point, it would effect his job. Fuck that.
So yeah. Mind your damn business. Hey, one reason why I have virtually no stress is because I don't deal with anyone else's bullshit. I got more important shit to deal with
So yeah. Mind your damn business. Hey, one reason why I have virtually no stress is because I don't deal with anyone else's bullshit. I got more important shit to deal with
EatinOlives
Member
Exactly. The "mind your own business" folks are ignoring the effect this is having on OP. You're forced to work with them and see them, you know their kids and are hurt about it, you've stopped playing poker with the husband, and it's affecting you personally. Cheating on spouses just doesn't happen in a vacuum.
Though I have to reiterate you have to be 100% absolute sure they're cheating. If you only have the day they ditched you to go by, you're not 100% sure and shouldn't act on it.
Bingo.
Yup. I'd definitely want to know too. He's wasting his time with someone who's cheating on him. The earlier he finds out, the earlier he can move on to someone who hopefully cares more about him. Or maybe they can work it out, who knows. But he should have the information and decide for himself.
creationtheory
Member
She sounds like a terrible person and she deserves to have her life ruined. Tell him anonymously.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
"Lol have fun with your STDs I could've possibly prevented but didnt cause I DONT WANT NO DRAMA LOL"
OP already said he is leaving this job soonish.
Kano on the Phone
Member
Many people (in the neighborhood of 25-50 percent depending on the study) cheat in long term relationships and not all cheating is bad. Why should every cheater immediately be persecuted? Most of them aren't cheating on you.
It puts the onus on the cheating couple to get their shit straight and come clean themselves rather than having the OP rat them out to the husband.
creationtheory
Member
WTF... I don't understand some people.
Shao Kahn on the Lawn
Member
Its even more important than that.
Letting him know gives him the opportunity to start divorce proceedings as the aggrieved party should he feel like pursuing it. There's a good chance that she'll file for divorce eventually. He could end up paying a substantial amount of alimony and child-support if he doesn't initiate proceedings first.
Maybe he watched Breaking Bad and sympathized with Skyler.
SwiftDeath
Member
Right so we should all do nothing because eventually the world or someone else will do it for us?
I think not
Sitting on one's thumbs does not solve problems
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Kitty_Genovese
He's right though. There are many marriages in this world where the man cheats and keeps it on the DL away from his family. Everything moves along fine and everyone gets provided for. This is an arrangement that has gone on for centuries in many parts of the world and at some level is even socially acceptable.
There's even marriages where this isn't acceptable, but the two people involved work through it and still remain together despite it. But they work through it together on their own terms.
But, in this case, the tables are turned and it's the woman who is allegedly cheating and now she needs to be shamed and 'brought to justice'. It's a fucked up, immature outlook.
Fuck off. You want to fuck other people? Sack up and float the idea of an open relationship. They're not into it? Then fuck right right off.
The problem is that people get off on deception. It's exciting as fuck, but in the end it's reprehensible.
I don't know why I keep coming into these threads. Bunch of fucking assholes always defending cheaters.
Snkfanatic
Banned
What in the....
Exactly. Would anyone actually be upset with a friend for informing you that you were being cheated on? I understand the "mind your own business" mindset to an extent, but if I found out that my SO was cheating on me and my friends knew about it but said nothing, I would be extremely pissed at them.
But as others have said, if you decide to speak up, be absolutely sure that you are right about what's going on.
Wow, someone is really projecting their own pain up in here.
Who was the mean girl that hurt you?
The thing is.....I was the the dude in the middle.
Good job on the lame dig attempt though.
Comfort Jones
Banned
In what way does this logic make any fucking sense?
Imagine if you said this for any other immoral activity. MOST OF THEM AREN'T KILLING YOU.
The hell is going on in this thread? You guys go get cheated on by the one you love and come back to me talking about this MIND YOUR BUSINESS shit.
SwiftDeath
Member
What how the hell do you come to that decision?
If the husband is unaware of the cheating then how can you just assume that it's one of those cases where cheating "isn't bad"?
Your making wild assumptions just so you can say "she needs to be shamed and 'brought to justice'. It's a fucked up, immature outlook."
Really?
Husband needs to know that much is obvious
BananaBomb
Member
Are you really belittling someone for being upset about the idea of cheating? Is this the newest wave of social justice or something?
He always does that shit in these cheating threads.
Damn son, turn off the projection screen.
Also, the fact that any emotionally stable male would 'leave his job' because some co-worker is cheating is ridiculous. Major red flag.
Dude is either jealous and in love with the wife, or just completely unhinged altogether.
Kano on the Phone
Member
So ending a long term relationship is preferable to a discreet affair? I think it's tragic when people value sex over love like that.
No one's life is ending by getting cheated on, and if they don't find out they're never hurt at all, so that's about as false of an equivalency as you can get, People get more "burn them at the stake!" about cheating than they do about things like physical assault, it's weird.
So if a person can get away with cheating, its okay? What the hell are you talking about?
BananaBomb
Member
it's like that episode of friends (sorry) where joey finds out his mom knows his dad is cheating and is ok with it because she just wants to see her husband happy.
SwiftDeath
Member
Honesty is preferred to lying in most cases, relationship especially
Some people value trust and honesty
Clearly others do not
Perhaps the fact that someone cheated on you changes the value of that long term relationship?
As it would appear the person you're in it with doesn't feel the same about you
I can't believe that mentality
This threads are terrible
Trust...how does it work?
jadedm17
Member
Brofist.
I'd want to know, and you said you would too, so I say tell him.
First tell her you're going to tell him to give her a chance, then do it if she won't.
That's what I'd want and that's what I'd do*.
Hopefully, if I knew them. I admit I'd seen cheating in a social circle I was part of for a while and did nothing a few years ago.
There is no proof of cheating going on. Only that she has lied to her husband on the phone a few times. Nothing has been presented in this thread to suggest it happened except for the OP's 'feeling'.
Also, it seems pretty clear that the OP has had strong feelings for this girl and now feels jilted and this could be effecting his judgement. (So much so, that he is thinking about returning home and leaving his job that he seems to be very good at)
If the husband was a close friend, I would agree with you. He would need to know everything. But he's not, so there's no need to get involved in speculation.
I'm saying it's not your business because your not fucking either of them and they are not related nor are they your close friends (anymore).
The only people that would get involved are doing it out of spite or some kind of distorted morality. If you want to be that kind of person .. fine, but it doesn't make you a 'decent human being'.
This woman has no character.
Kano on the Phone
Member
Fulfilling a sexual need doesn't always mean that you love the person you're fulfilling it with. Having sex with one person doesn't turn a switch that makes you not love someone else. We aren't digital creatures.
Trust can be rebuilt, and never lost if discretion is exercised.
BananaBomb
Member
If someone came to you and told you your wife was lying about being busy with clients to hang out with a male co-worker you would be 99.9% sure she was cheating.
Discretion...as an excuse for mending trust over cheating? That's rich.
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