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Anyone over the age of 20 and still a virgin??
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Sex and sexuality are such profound aspects of people's lives and mature relationships that at least for me personally (I'm a few years older) I'd be very wary of being in a relationship with a virgin. The only parallel I can draw is getting married to someone who has never been in a long-term relationship. It's a big red flag, IMO. That doesn't mean I can't respect, on an intellectual level, someone "saving themselves" for marriage, although even that gives me pause. On a very basic level, there is the question of whether you two are even compatable, sexually. Sometimes it's just not there, regardless of how much you like each other. For me at least, that's something I'd like to have a handle on before I walked down the aisle. Having a healthy sex life is essential to long-term relationships, such as in marriage, and IMO/IME it's more likely to happen when both partners have a healthy relationship with, and experience with, having sex. Even just having realistic expectations and being in touch with your own needs is much easier after having had a few sexual partners; these are basic requirements for having a healthy sex life.
Sex is important. I mean, in a very real way it's one of the most important things, I don't mean to discount that. But what is more important, long-term? Giving your future spouse your virginity is a one-time act; really being fully prepared and really bringing the best, most experienced, most-worked-out you there can be, that's something that helps the two of you from day one to forever.
Sex is important. I mean, in a very real way it's one of the most important things, I don't mean to discount that. But what is more important, long-term? Giving your future spouse your virginity is a one-time act; really being fully prepared and really bringing the best, most experienced, most-worked-out you there can be, that's something that helps the two of you from day one to forever.
videogamer
Banned
Shush! They're saving ourselves for marriage.xsarien said:
Anyways, since this thread hasn't turned into a jokefest:
In high school=Socially inept (thought I was too good to pretend to be nice to others) + Didn't care much for my looks + Shy + Lack of enough interest
College=The problems in high school have been largely remedied. I learned that my career plans can be helped by networking and a presentable look.
The group of people I spend time with and I are pretty comfortable with our status. It's not a big deal at all really. We just have other things to worry about. Either that or the prospect of investing time and money seems like a waste considering how the success rate is not 100%. Getting a girl is never really up on the list. When I have a career, maybe then I will take time to start a family. Right now, I'd rather play video games than actually go look for someone to marry.
Demon: Have you tried going to grad school? A lot of grad students seem to be close to each other. It's not suprising considering how much time they spend together. The same thing with medical and pharmacy students.
I haven't been seriously considering it. I already sorta have money troubles, and just getting in would be a bitch--my undergrad grades were shit, my letter of recommendation situation is kinda shit, and just the thought of preparing for and taking the GRE makes me nervous on top of all that. And besides, I have literally no idea what I would want to go to grad school for. I really have absolutely zero direction at this point, and I really can't seriously devote myself to something intense if it's not something that interests me and doesn't motivate me. That's one of the reasons I didn't do well in college....most of the classes didn't hold my interest one bit. If I went to grad school just for the sake of going to grad school, unless it by some chance ended up being for a subject that really interested me, it would be a waste of money.
Hammy said:
I doubt it's not just me, but I'm not looking for someone to marry when it comes to girls. Just looking for a connection and the qualities of someone I may like to marry in the future, but I'll worry about that last step when I get there.
I'm convinced demon and I are seperated twins.
Someone said doing in during star wars. Try doing it during supersize me!
And my first time was all in all rather crap. About 30 min with the foreplay, and about 30 min with the 'up and at em'. Couldnt even reach that holy grail on my first time. That night led me to believe that condoms are the devil and that headjobs > everything.
What an odd night that was. Maybe it was her fucken dog that kept jumping up on the bed.. i wanted to kick that little bastard over the fence..
And my first time was all in all rather crap. About 30 min with the foreplay, and about 30 min with the 'up and at em'. Couldnt even reach that holy grail on my first time. That night led me to believe that condoms are the devil and that headjobs > everything.
What an odd night that was. Maybe it was her fucken dog that kept jumping up on the bed.. i wanted to kick that little bastard over the fence..
:lol :lol :lolCanadian Psycho said:
I'm 17 and a virgin, and neither have I ever kissed. I'm definately not ever going to be ashamed or something of my virginity. I'm just going to be honest. There basically is no difference between being a 16-year old virgin and a 26-year old virgin. The thing is, is that the opportunity just has to present itself. What's there to be ashamed of when it hasn't in your life?
WrathOfOtaibah
Banned
I was a virgin until 19. Its been a year but for most people I knew, I was one of the very last. The reason? In HS, I was a social retard who went to parties and had girls interested in me, but having 0 clue on how to actually act on that. A girl would approach me and show various signs of interest and I missed them all. The whole time, I was sure that all girls hated me and wanted me away from them. Ah, youth.
Then I went to college. Like most puds my age, I thought that getting laid in college was as easy as snapping your fingers. Boy, was I in a shock. In fact, it was tougher. At least in HS, I was with the popular crowd. Here I was a Freshmen n00b and had nothing to back me up. Add that to my growing weight (gained about a pound a week...of fat) and I was certain that it wouldn't be until Teh Kao age until I got some (30s).
Finally I was able to drop the weight and started paying more attention to what women did. I also became more aggressive with girls and that only paid off for me.
To all those who are waiting, as long as you are honest with yourself. There are some men that have such wall of defenses up that they are lying to themselves. I remember I did the whole, "Its probably not worth it" thing and guess what? It didn't benefit me. All it did was set me behind the curve. I suppose if you are at least dating because when you are in your 20s, girls will probably expect that you've had sex or at least kissed. Waiting for the right person here is almost a mistake because you're going to suck and can be a huge disappointment.
Then I went to college. Like most puds my age, I thought that getting laid in college was as easy as snapping your fingers. Boy, was I in a shock. In fact, it was tougher. At least in HS, I was with the popular crowd. Here I was a Freshmen n00b and had nothing to back me up. Add that to my growing weight (gained about a pound a week...of fat) and I was certain that it wouldn't be until Teh Kao age until I got some (30s).
Finally I was able to drop the weight and started paying more attention to what women did. I also became more aggressive with girls and that only paid off for me.
To all those who are waiting, as long as you are honest with yourself. There are some men that have such wall of defenses up that they are lying to themselves. I remember I did the whole, "Its probably not worth it" thing and guess what? It didn't benefit me. All it did was set me behind the curve. I suppose if you are at least dating because when you are in your 20s, girls will probably expect that you've had sex or at least kissed. Waiting for the right person here is almost a mistake because you're going to suck and can be a huge disappointment.
Ruzbeh said:
ah me neither
wow I'm 17 in September jeez =/
Anyway I'm not sure if I'm saving myself for marriage or what...at this point I know that if the opportunity presented itself I'd say no. Not sure what exactly the reasoning is behind this...probably a combination of religion/family values/those pro-abstinence school programs. =/
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
Another 26 year-old virgin here, pure as fresh snow.
I can chalk it up to a wonderful array of things: very shy and awkward, not many close friends, strong dislike of my phsyical appearance, all of which blossomed into pretty deep self esteem and confidence issues. After almost overcoming it in my late teens, these problems returned and have gotten progressively worse over the past several years (nicely timed with my attempts to come to terms with being gay), now culminating in near-crippling social anxiety and depression. Now I feel almost entirely closed off from other people, really only feeling comfortable around a handful of friends that I've known for most of my life.
On the plus side, if you could even call it that, I don't have much interest in sex or even companionship (though this being the result of my problems is entirely possible) so it doesn't cross my mind it too often. ::shrug::
I can chalk it up to a wonderful array of things: very shy and awkward, not many close friends, strong dislike of my phsyical appearance, all of which blossomed into pretty deep self esteem and confidence issues. After almost overcoming it in my late teens, these problems returned and have gotten progressively worse over the past several years (nicely timed with my attempts to come to terms with being gay), now culminating in near-crippling social anxiety and depression. Now I feel almost entirely closed off from other people, really only feeling comfortable around a handful of friends that I've known for most of my life.
On the plus side, if you could even call it that, I don't have much interest in sex or even companionship (though this being the result of my problems is entirely possible) so it doesn't cross my mind it too often. ::shrug::
Trizten Dareeque
Member
But if you insist.
Forgotten_Taco
Member
Trizten Dareeque said:
I myself am up to 273. Don't worry, you'll get there.
Musashi Wins!
FLAWLESS VICTOLY!
APF said:
This is very right on.
God's Hand
Banned
I'm not a e-virgin, that's for sure.
videogamer
Banned
If you aim for a well funded field, you might not even have to TA much for a stipend.demon said:
A couple does not have to like each other to marry. Historically, among other reasons, marriage has been used as a way to obtain a higher standard of living and develop connections between families. Sometimes I wish my family were Indian so that getting an arranged marriage might happen.FoneBone said:
About the posts suggesting that the virgins not wait for "the one": it seems almost wrong to to date someone they don't see as "the one". Are you guys suggesting that the virgins date "meh" or less-than-ideal people just so that they develop dating skills? I've seen posts about losing virginity just so that the virgin can be a better kisser or be better in bed. How do you think the other person would feel if they were only just kissing or sex practice? "I don't really like you that much, but I need to make sure I can sexually satisfy 'the one'. Thanks for the practice though."
Trizten Dareeque
Member
Some of you people live in a fantasy world.
evil solrac v3.0
Member
APF said:
so i guess virgins are useless? red flags? please. there is more to people than how well they can perform in bed. there IS more to a relationship than that you know.
MrPing1000
Member
I've maintained my Involuntary Celibacy for nearly 19 years. Go me!
I'm 21 and I am one by choice. It's nothing to do with religion. I'm agnostic. I really don't see the "morals" behind forcing virginity before marriage.
I just have never seen it as a priority in my life. So I've never pursued it. But if the opportunity came to me, I'd accept it if I were interested.
I've been hit on by a few girls. One I was interested in but she was drunk, and I don't mess with that kind of stuff. The other two weren't attractive to me.
I'm not going to be one of those people that blames society or something like that for it. I just haven't acted. I haven't seen it as something important.
However, now that I'm a senior in my BS Comp Eng degree in college, I'm beginning to see the need to because my biggest priority in life is to have a healthy family.
I just have never seen it as a priority in my life. So I've never pursued it. But if the opportunity came to me, I'd accept it if I were interested.
I've been hit on by a few girls. One I was interested in but she was drunk, and I don't mess with that kind of stuff. The other two weren't attractive to me.
I'm not going to be one of those people that blames society or something like that for it. I just haven't acted. I haven't seen it as something important.
However, now that I'm a senior in my BS Comp Eng degree in college, I'm beginning to see the need to because my biggest priority in life is to have a healthy family.
typhonsentra
Banned
This topic makes me feel a little better about being a virgin at 20. I dunno why, maybe partially looks, with a combination of a lack of effort and no social grace.
Escape Goat
Member
J2 Cool said:Nope. She couldn't take the wait, she was all like
:lol :lol
It reminds me of when Trinity dies. Shes squirming all over.
D
Deleted member 1235
Unconfirmed Member
Mejilan said:Hey, whaddya know? That girl I was talking about? Her Yahoo email apparently is still valid. At the very least, I haven't gotten a bounce back message in the past hour or so. Cool.
Email her dude, after reading your story, it read as one of those 'I'll regret this and wonder about it for the rest of my life' kind of stories.
First sexual contact(read:blowjob):18yo
Penetration:19yo
23yo now
I had no illusions about sex...I knew for myself, I didn't want to get caught up in the "wait until i'm in a relationship" thing...I didn't want to infuse it with such mysticism and wonder as to blow it completely out of proportion. I had a friend who mindset at the time was the "I want it to be this, i want it to be that, I want it to perfect". In other words, he was Tara Reid in American Pie, and I was Natasha Lyone. Anywho, the person wasn't a complete stranger...we met prior to the meeting that lead to "teh sex". There were no expectations on either end. I was nervous of course, but aside from that, it was what I wanted...I guess I just wanted it to be serviceable, to kill the curiousity, so that the curiousity wouldn't lead to "sex" being deified and worshipped. The experience certainly wasn't "clean up and get out"...I didn't feel like I regretted it or there was any weirdness. In fact, in a way you could say it was "perfect", at least in terms of how I wanted it to be.
With that out of the way and the curiousity satisfied I was free to be a lot more selective...at this phase in my life, i'm more companionship oriented than relationship oriented...a lot of things need to stablize in my life first before I consider a relationship...it kills me that so many young people spend so much energy "looking for a relationship"...like it's a bag or a pair of shoes or something. They would be much better off working on themselves first. Likewise the idea of someone else "completing" them...while I understand the sentiment, you really shouldn't need someone else to complete you. Two whole people(not perfect, just self-aware) coming together stands a greater chance of staying together IMO than two halves trying to fill in their own flaws with the other person(dependency).
Penetration:19yo
23yo now
I had no illusions about sex...I knew for myself, I didn't want to get caught up in the "wait until i'm in a relationship" thing...I didn't want to infuse it with such mysticism and wonder as to blow it completely out of proportion. I had a friend who mindset at the time was the "I want it to be this, i want it to be that, I want it to perfect". In other words, he was Tara Reid in American Pie, and I was Natasha Lyone. Anywho, the person wasn't a complete stranger...we met prior to the meeting that lead to "teh sex". There were no expectations on either end. I was nervous of course, but aside from that, it was what I wanted...I guess I just wanted it to be serviceable, to kill the curiousity, so that the curiousity wouldn't lead to "sex" being deified and worshipped. The experience certainly wasn't "clean up and get out"...I didn't feel like I regretted it or there was any weirdness. In fact, in a way you could say it was "perfect", at least in terms of how I wanted it to be.
With that out of the way and the curiousity satisfied I was free to be a lot more selective...at this phase in my life, i'm more companionship oriented than relationship oriented...a lot of things need to stablize in my life first before I consider a relationship...it kills me that so many young people spend so much energy "looking for a relationship"...like it's a bag or a pair of shoes or something. They would be much better off working on themselves first. Likewise the idea of someone else "completing" them...while I understand the sentiment, you really shouldn't need someone else to complete you. Two whole people(not perfect, just self-aware) coming together stands a greater chance of staying together IMO than two halves trying to fill in their own flaws with the other person(dependency).
evil solrac v3.0
Member
Macam said:
oh goody. as far as i see it, virgins are incomplete people? help a brother out. i understand his choice but to say that you cant be in a relationship with a virgin beacuse they may not be compatible or such ois a little short sighted. but that's just me.
D
Deleted member 1235
Unconfirmed Member
To be honest, saving yourself for marriage if you are a dude, in fact just being a virgin far past 20, I don't see how it can't lead to an incredibly built up and consequently nervous first time. Anyone tried to crack a boner when they are incredibly nervous? I predict your body will betray you.
Unresponsive Bee Victim
Member
:lol
Good thread, the best thread here ever was the one about taking a girls virginity. That had me rolling.
As for me I'm 14, and really High School blows, too much sex involved, really its best too stay away from it until college, then what happens, happens.
Good thread, the best thread here ever was the one about taking a girls virginity. That had me rolling.
As for me I'm 14, and really High School blows, too much sex involved, really its best too stay away from it until college, then what happens, happens.
evil solrac v3.0
Member
catfish said:
eh..... not always.
D
Deleted member 1235
Unconfirmed Member
evil solrac v3.0 said:
I'm just sayin though. The onion headline I read once rang true.
The Onion said:
evil solrac v3.0
Member
catfish said:
well, i dont disagree. but i just dont think it's always true. especially if the people care about each other and are into each other.
22 and haven't touched a boobie here. Throughout high school there were a couple of girls I'd have gone out with but I was to fucking shy to approach them and when I did it was a pathetic sort of wishy washy garbage attempt. There was also the money thing were I just figured it'd be a waste of money to bother with a girlfriend. The biggest influence since I graduated 4 years ago was seeing what girlfreinds did to my friends. Up until very recently every relationship I've witnessed my friends in has ended in abysmall failure and even the 1 positive relationship I've laid witness to seems to involve fighting all the time, if only verbally. I just decided that unless a girl could meet every obscene qualification I had in my mind that I wouldn't even bother , atleast 1 girl has met those qualifactions but she was allready dating someone. Apparently she's single now but the other half of this whole lack of nookie debacle is my socially recessive nature. I'm not fond of meeting new people like I used to be and instead would rather sit on the internet or hang around the same friends I've had for the past 6+ years then go out to a bar.
The final part of the equation is that I can't help but want a relationship if only to have sex and again, another friend of mine got in a relationship for exactly that and became a total mess and was eventually dumped after a year and a half. So that roads a definete no go.
Maybe I need to lower my standards or change my mind on what I want in a girlfriend idono. I go over this whole list mentally every now and then and then I just decide upon the road of apathy.
The final part of the equation is that I can't help but want a relationship if only to have sex and again, another friend of mine got in a relationship for exactly that and became a total mess and was eventually dumped after a year and a half. So that roads a definete no go.
Maybe I need to lower my standards or change my mind on what I want in a girlfriend idono. I go over this whole list mentally every now and then and then I just decide upon the road of apathy.
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