ECW on TNN 2/4/00
Joel got the ECW crowd to chant "SEND THEM BACK" in regards to Elian Gonzalez. He then said to shove all of Cuba up Castro's ass, which was cut to go to Cyrus talking about the Network and how this stuff is going to end. RVD walked past Cyrus to go to Awesome's locker room. A no smoking sign got a "too late" from RVD. He attacks the champ and they brawl. He's the angriest pot head I've ever seen. Spike Dudley also attacked Da Judge. Cyrus closes the door, says the Network won't condone any of this, and to roll the opening.
Tommy Dreamer/Dusty Rhodes vs Rhino/Steve Corino
They do ring intros and then...
TO THE BACK. Raven bitches to James Mitchell. Paul E. shows up and tells Mitchell to get the fuck out of there and then tries to give Raven a pep talk.
Dusty and Corino start it out. Dusty offers him a free punch, Corino takes a headlock, then tags Rhino. Dusty puts Rhino in a Miz worthy figure four because he can't get his bow legs to actually lock the hold on. Dreamer puts Victory in one and Francine puts one on Corino. Figure 12! All of the sudden, Corino is bleeding on the stage with Dusty. Rhino and Dreamer are on the other side of the arena. Dusty and Corino are back in the ring. I guess Steve got busted open from punches. Tommy Dreamer does the bionic elbow! Makes sense since he's got a FAAATT ASSSS. Match turns around after Dreamer takes some ball related offense. Rhino hits a superfly splash. He tries again, gets crotched and superplexed. Again, broken back Dreamer does shit like this every match and it makes no sense to me. Hot tag to Dusty. Double ten count punches, but then a double Irish whip turns into a GORE.
via Imgflip GIF Generator
Dusty misses the elbow! Dusty eats a clothesline in his hardest bump in 10 years. Dreamer hits a DDT on a chair on Rhino, while Dusty hits the bionic elbow on Corino for the win.
TO THE HOT TUB. The Impact Players are just hanging out together in a hot tub, with their titles, and Dawn Marie looking hot in her bikini. You couldn't pay me enough money to get in a hot tub with Justin Credible. Doring and Roadkill respond somewhere else. Who gives a fuck? Elektra tries to rip Doring's dick off and then does her disgusting pec flex. There isn't a thing attractive about that.
via Imgflip GIF Generator
Joel says it's like they are already married. And much like other terrible relationships, like ECW and TNN. That's what happens when you have one over bearing, unappreciative spouse. Subtle, Paul.
TO THE BACK. Mikey Whipwreck is headbutting a mirror saying he's not a baby. He's going to win the TV Championship tonight.
RVD vs Mikey Whipwreck ECW TV Championship
Mikey attacks during RVD's Undertaker-lengthed entrance. Mikey's been back for 2-3 months and I think this is his second match. He puts RVD in the ropes and does an elbow.
via Imgflip GIF Generator
Flying LARIATOOOO. Rob comes back with all of his normal offense. I wonder why ECW fans never game him a "same old shit" chant. Corkscrew guillotine leg drop with Mikey on the guardrail and a chair on top of him.
via Imgflip GIF Generator
Rolling Thunder, also assisted with a chair. Mikey comes back with a German suplex on a chair.
via Imgflip GIF Generator
Pedigree on a chair! "The pedigree not enough to pin Rob Van Dam!" "No matter who applies it!" Lol, I believe that is covers at least 3 forms of irony. Van Daminator and 5 Star Frog Splash for the win.
TO THE BACK. Mike Awesome is outside of an ambulance where Judge Jones is being taken away. If he's not okay, Mike is going to break the fucking backs of Spike and RVD. He's gonna fuck them up!
LATE BREAKING NEWS. Rob Van Dam suffers broken leg! Full discussion and the ramifications of this event will be made on next week's episode.