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April Wrasslin' |OT2| The Coronation of The King of Swing

Sblargh

Banned
You know what's amazing? Ted Dibiase was pretty much THE heel for years in WWF and he never won the main title much less the IC title.

I'm not sure if I'm pissed he didn't get it or if I'm amazed at how good the booking was that he could stay as a main eventer without relying on a title run. And also, as much as people shit on WWE's midcard and praise the Golden Era, you have to remember. The midcard in WWF was so good because the main event was SO bad. It was 'Hogan and whoever Hogan's feuding with this week.' At least now you've got John Cena and whoever John Cena's feuding with and Daniel Bryan and whoever Daniel Bryan's feuding with

That's actually worse, because there's not enough heels to feed both the kid's champion and the smarks champion. Bray was growing steadly, the feud with Bryan put a rocket on his back and now Cena is destroying him. But those long months ago are over, now Bryan is the champion, but Cena still is the merchandising champion, by a lot apparently, so he will not be touched or turned or lose his spot or made interesting whatsoever. He will stay there, that big cloud of poison just, you know, there, eating the heels other people build and leaving scraps to the actual champion. Extreme Rules, Bryan is the champion, he won't lose the belt, it's the perfect moment to do a good match against a midcard heel, of winning a hard fought battle against someone who will survive another day, but the only ones left are the ones who were there before Cena existed, i.e., Kane and Triple H; Bryan could be going against Sandow or Ryback or Bray round 2 or even the Miz due to their backstory, but there's no one in the middle of the road between humiliated and in shambles or too hot for a lower ppv like Extreme Rules.

Cena is a problem, I think, without a solution at the moment. You can't do stuff to him that would be good in terms of storyline without the risk of it being a horrible busisness decision. I wish I could say "he probably knows that", but if he knew he wouldn't be such an asshole in these feuds knowing full well what it does to other people's careers.
 

Data West

coaches in the WNBA
Hulk Hogan had the respect to address Ted Dibiase as multi-million dollar man.

Cena would say YOU'RE NOT RICH ITS A GIMMICK WWE PAYS FOR IT

Hulk Hogan is better than Cena, and I find it incredible that there are people still think Cena's not worse than Hogan.
 

Seraphis Cain

bad gameplay lol
After years of trying to remember, I finally figured out what the first episode of Raw I ever saw was. May 19, 1997:

Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/ Chyna) defeated Crush in a King Of The Ring 1997 First Round Match

Bob Holly defeated Owen Hart

Scott Taylor defeated Leif Cassidy

Rockabilly (w/ The Honky Tonk Man) defeated Goldust by DQ

Faarooq defeated Rocky Maivia

Steve Austin defeated Jim Neidhart by DQ (1:51)

Dark Match: Steve Austin & The Legion Of Doom (Road Warrior Animal & Road Warrior Hawk) defeated The Hart Foundation (Brian Pillman, Owen Hart & The British Bulldog)

Dark Match: The Undertaker (c) defeated Mankind to retain the WWF Championship

Holy shit. When I started watching wrestling, Al Snow was still Leif Cassidy. Billy Gunn was still Rockabilly. Trips was still Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Scott Taylor wasn't Scotty 2 Hotty yet. Lawler wasn't garbage on commentary yet. Chyna hadn't gotten her boob job yet. Fuck.

Also holy shit those dark matches. Better than anything on the televised card.
 

mouserat

Neo Member
here's a hypothetical for you guys: you're granted full creative control over John Cena in WWE. what do you do with the guy?

my rationale is that the dude has to stay face. no-one at the company has any long term confidence in Daniel Bryan as 'the guy' and there is no-one ready to step into that role. the dude makes five times more merch money than the #2 guy (CM Punk still?) and the demand for his wish-granting is unbelievably high. turning Cena heel and losing the Little Jimmy money and good publicity is suicide really. so, I'd look for a way to get John Cena over with smart fans. historically the E have approached this by affiliating him with whoever is popular and trying to have him leech their positive reaction, but we all see through that and know it won't work. the only thing I can think to do with John Cena is ask him to bulk down a little (which he would never do), put in some extra time expanding his moveset and working on his wrestling (which he would never do) and asking him to publicly put over younger talent by losing to them —in particular next time there's a young heel with a submission finisher the whole angle is built around it and CENA FUCKING TAPS— and taking them seriously in storyline (which he would never do).

but seriously, the guy is unmanageable at this stage. it's like you buy a really nice house, but you realise the foundations are built out of uranium, and you're going to get radition poisoning by staying there, but if you remove it the entire house crumbles. how do you solve a problem like John Cena
 

BHZ Mayor

Member
Cena is a problem, I think, without a solution at the moment. You can't do stuff to him that would be good in terms of storyline without the risk of it being a horrible busisness decision. I wish I could say "he probably knows that", but if he knew he wouldn't be such an asshole in these feuds knowing full well what it does to other people's careers.

Or maybe he does know that, and he just doesn't care.
 

Sephzilla

Member
here's a hypothetical for you guys: you're granted full creative control over John Cena in WWE. what do you do with the guy?

Heel turn Cena immediately, and then put some new babyface in his spot and have that person come out in new merchandise all the time and watch him rocket to the top of the merchandise ladder. Just to prove that Cena is entirely a manufactured product that can be replicated.
 
D

Deleted member 47027

Unconfirmed Member
If I were in control of John Cena I would work a retirement angle where he still can sell his merch after, still do Make-A-Wish, and give him a spot on the Raw show (not GM though...well, mayyyybe) and have his body heal, he still does his shithead promos people hate, but only get in the ring for limited appearances to help put over new talent. Make him a real avatar of "justice" and what's right. Keep the merch sales. Make him special.
 

Sephzilla

Member
If I were in control of John Cena I would work a retirement angle where he still can sell his merch after, still do Make-A-Wish, and give him a spot on the Raw show (not GM though...well, mayyyybe) and have his body heal, he still does his shithead promos people hate, but only get in the ring for limited appearances to help put over new talent. Make him a real avatar of "justice" and what's right. Keep the merch sales. Make him special.

CM-Punk-laughing-at-Stephanie.gif
 

Data West

coaches in the WNBA
I'd release him. Company survived without Hogan, they can survive without Cena. ESPECIALLY with no competition.

Sorry to hurt John Cena's feelings, but they could give his push to anybody and make them top merch sales. Cheeky babyface that is over by sheer attrition. Hell, I'd give it to a masked guy and then we get mask sales AND babyface sales.

Aside: The Valentine/Garvin feud in WWF is REALLY out of place in 80s WWF. It looks like an AWA feud but it's surrounded by WWF guys who are ridiculous and over the top.
 

somedevil

Member
Some News:

- WWE pay-per-view advances are looking strong right now. Extreme Rules on May 4th is set up for 14,000 fans and is almost sold out. Payback on June 1st is set up for 11,000 and is almost sold out as well. Money in the Bank on June 29th has sold 10,000 tickets with just 2,000 still available.

- We noted yesterday that John Cena has been selling 5 times the merchandise of the #2 seller in WWE lately. With CM Punk gone, that #2 seller is Daniel Bryan

WWE scout Gerald Brisco’s blue chip recruit this year is University of Minnesota heavyweight Tony Nelson, who won NCAA titles in 2012 and 2013, but lost in the finals this year. Nelson also has some offers from NFL teams. Brisco praised Nelson and said he could be in the main event of WrestleMania in four years. Apparently WWE needed an answer from Nelson on Wednesday of this week.

So I wonder if he said yes or no

Also here seems to be the final card for Extreme Rules. Which match will be on the preshow?

Bryan vs Kane "extreme rules match"
Evolution vs Shield
Bray vs Cena "cage match"
Usos vs Rybaxel
Tamina vs Paige
Big E vs
BNB
Rusev vs R-truth and Xavier Woods
Cesaro vs
RVD vs Swagger
 

jred2k

Member
Hulk Hogan had the respect to address Ted Dibiase as multi-million dollar man.

Cena would say YOU'RE NOT RICH ITS A GIMMICK WWE PAYS FOR IT

Hulk Hogan is better than Cena, and I find it incredible that there are people still think Cena's not worse than Hogan.

The worst part is his head-in-the-sand "aww shucks I just do as I'm told" mentality. Someone being in the business that long and not understanding how him just sticking to the script ruins an entire roster is complete lunacy. He probably sees no reason to start moving down the card now because he'd got another 8-13 years in him.
 

Sephzilla

Member
Also here seems to be the final card for Extreme Rules. Which match will be on the preshow?

Bryan vs Kane "extreme rules match"
Evolution vs Shield
Bray vs Cena "cage match"
Usos vs Rybaxel
Tamina vs Paige
Big E vs
BNB
Rusev vs R-truth and Xavier Woods
Cesaro vs
RVD vs Swagger

My money is either on Usos vs Rybaxel or Rusev vs jobbers
 

Sephzilla

Member
Hey, I got creative control, 100%. He doesn't have to like it.

Well, if we're talking 100% full creative control I'd have Cena lose to 60 year old Hulk Hogan completely clean, just so Cena knows how it feels to be on the receiving end of the shit he's been doing the last few years.
 

Hasney

Member
Well, if we're talking 100% full creative control I'd have Cena lose to 60 year old Hulk Hogan completely clean, just so Cena knows how it feels to be on the receiving end of the shit he's been doing the last few years.

Damn, he'd have to endure a huge payday from that match too. You MONSTER!
 

Sephzilla

Member
Damn, he'd have to endure a huge payday from that match too. You MONSTER!

Oh, I'd make sure all of the money goes to Hogan, too.

"Sorry John, I want to pay you more for this. But it cost a lot of money to get Hogan here. Plus, historically Hulkamania sells a lot more than you"
 

Sblargh

Banned
Now brothers, now is the moment our hero needs us the most. Everyone needs to buy at least five Daniel Bryan shirts. And one coffee mug.
 

Marvel

could never
Hollywood Hulk Hogan is still my favorite look for a wrestler. Would love to see Cena eat the boot and leg drop.
 

Sephzilla

Member
Now brothers, now is the moment our hero needs us the most. Everyone needs to buy at least five Daniel Bryan shirts. And one coffee mug.

I was actually thinking about this yesterday. I get paid next week, maybe I should buy a Bryan shirt.
Girlfriend wants a BOLIEVE shirt
.
 

ggnoobIGN

Banned
Some News:





So I wonder if he said yes or no

Also here seems to be the final card for Extreme Rules. Which match will be on the preshow?

Bryan vs Kane "extreme rules match"
Evolution vs Shield
Bray vs Cena "cage match"
Usos vs Rybaxel
Tamina vs Paige
Big E vs
BNB
Rusev vs R-truth and Xavier Woods
Cesaro vs
RVD vs Swagger
They shouldn't put the tag match on there twice in a row. The match at WM was great and should have been on the main card.

That said it makes the most sense because who cares about Rybaxel.

Can't put Rusev there since it's a squash. Can't see Cesaro there either. Hopefully it's the women's match.
 

Sephzilla

Member
The womens match isn't going on the pre-show. They need their in-show bathroom break match.

That, and I think they're at least somewhat trying to make the womens division matter again. Thus why there are no Total Divas involved.
 

Sblargh

Banned
They shouldn't put the tag match on there twice in a row. The match at WM was great and should have been on the main card.

That said it makes the most sense because who cares about Rybaxel.

Can't put Rusev there since it's a squash. Can't see Cesaro there either. Hopefully it's the women's match.

If they put Paige on the pre show, the Internet, me included, will riot. Put Rusev there, a squash against two non comedy faces can be longer, just book it so they go down fighting to their last breath despiste being obviously futile.
 

Data West

coaches in the WNBA
Devitt should have done the Macho Man hangman move when he turned heel. He's got the athletic ability for it, and it's a great heel show off move.
 
I hope WWE does right by Emma vs Paige's first encounter on the main roster. I think she needs to get away from Santino first though and, if Emma ever gives page a Pink Sock then the Diva Division is ruined again.
 

Sblargh

Banned
I actually liked the last Rusev match because it hinted at what I said. Xavier Woods and r-truth were really into the thing of trying to save each other, but just being unable to stop the monster. Book it like a horror movie where we feel sorry for those who at least try to fight back and you're good to go.
I think people got so used to ignore these squashes that they missed how the squashed are actually doing a good job. Or I just have bad taste.
 

Hasney

Member
I can't imagine being an ECW fan back then, knowing Raven was formerly Johnny Polo, and still trying to take him seriously.

Johnny Polo was actually part of his gimmick.

On January 7, 1995, now bulked-up to approximately 230 lb (104 kg), Levy debuted in Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW). Ostensibly appearing as Johnny Polo, he instead debuted under a new gimmick, the Raven (a reference to the poem by Edgar Allan Poe). Between leaving the WWF and joining ECW, Polo's state of mind was said to have drastically changed, and he became a depressed, sociopathic, nihilistic misanthrope with a grunge-inspired wardrobe (which continues to this day).
 

jred2k

Member
I actually liked the last Rusev match because it hinted at what I said. Xavier Woods and r-truth were really into the thing of trying to save each other, but just being unable to stop the monster. Book it like a horror movie where we feel sorry for those who at least try to fight back and you're good to go.
I think people got so used to ignore these squashes that they missed how the squashed are actually doing a good job. Or I just have bad taste.

I don't know if it's so much that squashes get ignored, but I've never been given a reason to cheer for Woods or R-Truth. They have no character so it really makes it hard to want to see them get revenge of any sort.

WHATS UP?
 

Data West

coaches in the WNBA
Yo, Dibiase just transitioned from a Million Dollar Dream to one of those Brock Lesnar submissions in this Survivor Series 89 match before MMA even existed.

It's fucking brutal looking too.
100704ufc_116_f_012.jpg

This move
 
I don't know if it's so much that squashes get ignored, but I've never been given a reason to cheer for Woods or R-Truth. They have no character so it really makes it hard to want to see them get revenge of any sort.

WHATS UP?
I think Xavier Woods is worse than El Torito, he really brings nothing to the table. I don't see him ever reaching Santino type status as a comedy jobber.
 
D

Deleted member 47027

Unconfirmed Member
Today's 3-Panel-Jiff

This one is titled:
Vince McMahon is hungry

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ikbmbQ7IZ2lUA.gif
 

radcliff

Member
- WWE pay-per-view advances are looking strong right now. Extreme Rules on May 4th is set up for 14,000 fans and is almost sold out. Payback on June 1st is set up for 11,000 and is almost sold out as well. Money in the Bank on June 29th has sold 10,000 tickets with just 2,000 still available.

MITB is being held at the Boston Garden. It can certainly hold more than 12,000 people.
 
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