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Brit-Gaf: [Threads should be SFW and inviting.]

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Ultimately it comes down to the fact that there's too much riff-raff in here, and not enough gentlemen of good parentage, manners, and class. It's sort of like providing the opulent settings in Brideshead Revisited (aka my thread), and filling it with the characters from Shameless, and that guy in Doctors who looks like Smoky Dave.
 

Hixx

Member
Apart from the few people who saw it in the NotW thread how many people even know this topic exists/
 

OMG Aero

Member
UnblessedSoul said:
Ahahaha this thread is dead, clearly we aren't as good as other national GAFs
One of the main things about being British is our self-depreciation.
It's only right that this thread is the same way.
 
radioheadrule83 said:
Come, come my Anatidaean friend... enjoying the finer things in life, such as the occasionally hot BBC news reader, is surely not a crime for this thread! I daresay we should encourage it.

Which of you are on Google+ by the way? I have a whopping great big NeoGAF circle, but it'd be nice if I could filter that down a little to just UK GAFfers

I'm on G+. Do have a few gaffers but not sure who's who on it.
 
Any recommendations for a cheap place to stay while in London. My friend and I will be there in November and we're going to start looking for places now. We don't want to do a hostel but we do want to do something on the cheap.

This could be a precursor to me moving to Britain in a year. I haven't been there since I was a kid.

Also, while my friend visits his girlfriend, I'm going to have a couple of days alone to do as I please. Exploring London alone sounds like a shit load of fun. Anywhere you'd recommend I check out that might be off the tourist path?
 

SteveWD40

Member
DoctorWho said:
Any recommendations for a cheap place to stay while in London. My friend and I will be there in November and we're going to start looking for places now. We don't want to do a hostel but we do want to do something on the cheap.

This could be a precursor to me moving to Britain in a year. I haven't been there since I was a kid.

Also, while my friend visits his girlfriend, I'm going to have a couple of days alone to do as I please. Exploring London alone sounds like a shit load of fun. Anywhere you'd recommend I check out that might be off the tourist path?

Try Gumtree, put an add up for / search for people looking for short term lets. I did it when I went to Melbourne and rented a couples flat while they travelled for a few months, all inc it was about £700 for the whole 2 months.

As for exploring alone, it is awesome, I have done it a few times and loved it, just wombling about outside of rush hour in London ftw. I would recommend just starting in a place around the centre and going where your internal compass takes you, for night-life the centre can be shit but during the day it's great, some stunning architecture.
 
SteveWD40 said:
Try Gumtree, put an add up for / search for people looking for short term lets. I did it when I went to Melbourne and rented a couples flat while they travelled for a few months, all inc it was about £700 for the whole 2 months.

As for exploring alone, it is awesome, I have done it a few times and loved it, just wombling about outside of rush hour in London ftw. I would recommend just starting in a place around the centre and going where your internal compass takes you, for night-life the centre can be shit but during the day it's great, some stunning architecture.

Thanks.

There's some good stuff worth taking a look at on Gumtree.
 

Number45

Member
Added myself, will create a circle when we have a few more people in there. :)

EDIT: Ha, edited the spreadsheet before your edit. :p
 

Chinner

Banned
okay guys real talk, what would you do if some bloke came up to and was like "for 2 grand i'll cum on your face and nobody has to know" WHAT DO YOU DO
 
If enough of us are sad and drunk enough one night, we can do a UK GAF video hangout type thing!

BTW, I missed these awesome posts last time I visited the thread:

SmokyDave said:
TK Maxx is a fucking car boot sale with a roof.

Pookmunki said:
Anyone got any jokes to lighten my mood?

Meadows said:
Bromsgrove

SmokyDave said:
When I was a teen I made it a habit to 'date' girls that worked in Burger King and McDonalds. They were greasy chicks, even the hot ones. Smelled like sausage, potato & shame.

I worked in one for a few months when I was in Uni... I remember being particularly highly strung and stressed out with other things at the time, so doing horrible bog-cleaning and stuff for minimum wage was the last thing I wanted to be doing. We were closing up one night and this complete dick of a manager started shouting at me to hurry up and clean the upstairs lobby faster. I'd just been mopping the bogs... and to hasten my cleaning, I kind of um... mopped the table tops with the same mop! Unless your from west lancashire, you probably didn't eat there the next day, don't worry. When he kept shouting at me, I kicked the mop bucket down the stairs and just fucked off home. I actually got a phone call the next day saying it would be okay for me to go back if I wanted... I was certain that I'd have been fired... they must have been desperate to avoid the churn of staff turnover.

Anyway, on the topic of girls who work in McDonalds, they weren't always greasy in our one... maybe I'm remembering them more fondly than I should, but I remember working with a couple of hotties. Plus those pants on the uniform had a nice nack of going right up a girls crack. Not nice for me as a guy working there, but it looked good on the girls.
 
Chinner said:
okay guys real talk, what would you do if some bloke came up to and was like "for 2 grand i'll cum on your face and nobody has to know" WHAT DO YOU DO

Can I mandate that no ropes of semen are allowed to stream across my lips or up my nose?
I think that would probably be my main concern. I could really do with 2 grand y'see.

With that shameful response posted... I've actually just read the phrasing of that question more closely -- would we be paying him to cum on our faces?
 
Chinner said:
okay guys real talk, what would you do if some bloke came up to and was like "for 2 grand i'll cum on your face and nobody has to know" WHAT DO YOU DO

I came in here to ask if anyone knew how long Newsnight was off for, & I see this is the level of discourse in the thread.
As I'm unemployed, shamefully the answer is yes
 

Number45

Member
Chinner said:
okay guys real talk, what would you do if some bloke came up to and was like "for 2 grand i'll cum on your face and nobody has to know" WHAT DO YOU DO
I'm not sure what my breaking point would be, but 2k ain't it. I'm fairly sure there would be a breaking point if the price is right though.

Cerebral Assassin said:
I came in here to ask if anyone knew how long Newsnight was off for, & I see this is the level of discourse in the thread.
As I'm unemployed, shamefully the answer is yes
Obviously I'm in the middle of writing up the notes from my quantum physics research, but I couldn't resist answering.
 

Meadows

Banned
Cerebral Assassin said:
I came in here to ask if anyone knew how long Newsnight was off for, & I see this is the level of discourse in the thread.
As I'm unemployed, shamefully the answer is yes

PMd
 

Murkas

Member
I just saw this thread so hello.

Regarding this Doctor Who talk I have never actually seen an episode so I can't comment on it. Soap operas on the other hand...

It's eye cancer. eastenders, corronation road, hollyoaks (this is the one with the tits right). I hate them all so much. Poison on TV this is...
 
Murkas said:
I just saw this thread so hello.

Regarding this Doctor Who talk I have never actually seen an episode so I can't comment on it. Soap operas on the other hand...

It's eye cancer. eastenders, corronation road, hollyoaks (this is the one with the tits right). I hate them all so much. Poison on TV this is...
I've always been impressed that they can keep going, surely they must reguritate plots on such a frequent basis considering that the bigger ones get like 2-3 episodes a week perhaps?
That's all the credit they are getting from me, if someone enjoys them that's fine but soap operas aren't up my alley* that's for sure, there isn't much I fear more than forgetting to turn over from Channel 4 after a hopefully good Simpsons episode and encountering a brief snippet of Hollyoaks which is indeed the one with the tits judging from about 10 seconds of the stuff.
I do consider most reality tv shows much worse though.

*= except for wrasslin, oh the hypocrisy of it all!
 

Meadows

Banned
I used to watch Neighbours about 5 years ago for a year. It's quite nice to be into a soap, it gives you consistent, assured entertainment for half an hour a day.
 

Reknoc

Member
Meadows said:
I used to watch Neighbours about 5 years ago for a year. It's quite nice to be into a soap, it gives you consistent, assured entertainment for half an hour a day.

Neighbours is pretty dull. Home and Away is the best, every time I catch it while flicking through channels or read what's going on when I'm so bored I pick up a TV Mag, there seems to be some sort of arsonist/mad bomber/cultist/serial killer that arrives at the bay.
 
At least Neighbours and Home & Away have hotties in and don't always revolve around miserable storylines. The dude who plays Dr Karl Kennedy is the man btw... he played my Uni with his band a few years ago and played near where I live more recently, he's a really nice bloke. I remember his character was nobbing that Sarah Beaumont girl on neighbours, his daughter Libby had great knockers, and he lived in the same street as Sky Mangel - who also needed a reet good cock-choking. Home and Away was at its best when it had hotness like Melissa George in it.

The best storylines were the most ridiculous as well: the olympic torch coming to Summer Bay, Paul robinsons twin sons in neighbours - one who was good and one who was evil, toady having a hot girlfriend, harold and lou carpenter's 'comedy' moments together... the amazing chemical weapon / terrorist thing in home and away

Eastenders, Coronation Street, Emmerdale and Hollyoaks should be obliterated from the airwaves. Whiny bollocks!
 
I'm proper late here, but fuck it.

Gamertag/PSN/Steam ID: GT: Mark Mclovin Steam ID: Wigsta PSN:Wigsta78
Age: 33
Hometown: Barry Town
Current residence: Barry Town
Occupation: Wintel server monkey boy
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University (Past/Present/Future): University of Glamorgan
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So what's up my fellow country motherfuckers?
 

SteveWD40

Member
radioheadrule83 said:
At least Neighbours and Home & Away have hotties in and don't always revolve around miserable storylines. The dude who plays Dr Karl Kennedy is the man btw... he played my Uni with his band a few years ago and played near where I live more recently, he's a really nice bloke. I remember his character was nobbing that Sarah Beaumont girl on neighbours, his daughter Libby had great knockers, and he lived in the same street as Sky Mangel - who also needed a reet good cock-choking. Home and Away was at its best when it had hotness like Melissa George in it.

The best storylines were the most ridiculous as well: the olympic torch coming to Summer Bay, Paul robinsons twin sons in neighbours - one who was good and one who was evil, toady having a hot girlfriend, harold and lou carpenter's 'comedy' moments together... the amazing chemical weapon / terrorist thing in home and away

Eastenders, Coronation Street, Emmerdale and Hollyoaks should be obliterated from the airwaves. Whiny bollocks!

The cut of your jib, I like it.

I remember Libby and her spectacular norks pretty well, I always had a thing for Katie Ritchie as well, mainly as she featured in one of the first sex tapes ever.

To be fair though Hollyoaks is now just as ridiculous as aussie soap land, storylines are mental, characters are all young, attractive and well dressed and it's always nice weather.

Never seen a fat guy in a kappa tracksuit with an Asda carrier bag once...
 
SteveWD40 said:
The cut of your jib, I like it.

I remember Libby and her spectacular norks pretty well, I always had a thing for Katie Ritchie as well, mainly as she featured in one of the first sex tapes ever.

To be fair though Hollyoaks is now just as ridiculous as aussie soap land, storylines are mental, characters are all young, attractive and well dressed and it's always nice weather.

Never seen a fat guy in a kappa tracksuit with an Asda carrier bag once...

She was Sally on home and away right? Why have I not seen this tape?!
TO THE INTERNET!... ahh but I'm in work :(

There are a few nice girls on Hollyoaks, I posted that Jorgie Porter for example earlier in the thread, but for the most part I just can't get past the bad quality of it, the way as you say, it doesn't really represent the reality of the youth of Chester or the North West in general... I've been on nights out where some of the cast were out in Liverpool and everyone was like "there's so-n'so off hollyoaks" and just thinking I wish people would just ignore them! I do like the way they're sometimes inventive with their intros, set to a song etc. That's a nice gimmick.

I like the word norks. My group of friends in Liverpool used to sometimes call them chebs. I only recently did some research and found out that the term harks from Scotland, and is a colloquialism for chest bollocks. Which made the word seem even more genius!
 

SmokyDave

Member
Aaaaaargh! I keep forgetting this thread exists.

I only found it now because someone mentioned Neighbours hotties and they left out Sarah Vandenberg and Kimberley Davies.

What sort of topics go into a 'regional' thread? It'd seem odd posting news in here. I'm not grumbling though, I think this thread will serve well as a smoke-filled little boozer just off the main strip.

Should we have a 'best picture of a tramp drinking cider' competition or something?
 

SteveWD40

Member
radioheadrule83 said:
She was Sally on home and away right? Why have I not seen this tape?!
TO THE INTERNET!... ahh but I'm in work :(

I won't post a link as it's the new Disney Gaf, but it's out there (PM me if you get stuck). She is indeed Sally and has grown into somewhat the hottie if you like curvy brunettes.

Also, the tape isn't bad, it was filmed by her then BF from his closet, it was a bit of a scandal at the time and she really had no idea, but you get to see her go through a pretty good repertoire on a waterbed.
 
Chinner said:
okay real talk part 2, what would you rather be a rapist or a child molester?

I'd rather be dead than either really, but with a gun forced to my head I might consider raping or molesting myself via time travel - if that's allowed as an option. Actually, on second thought -- nope. I'd still rather be dead.

SmokyDave said:
Aaaaaargh! I keep forgetting this thread exists.

I only found it now because someone mentioned Neighbours hotties and they left out Sarah Vandenberg and Kimberley Davies.

What sort of topics go into a 'regional' thread? It'd seem odd posting news in here. I'm not grumbling though, I think this thread will serve well as a smoke-filled little boozer just off the main strip.

Should we have a 'best picture of a tramp drinking cider' competition or something?

Good GOD @ Kimberley Davies
 

SteveWD40

Member
Chinner said:
okay real talk part 2, what would you rather be a rapist or a child molester?

Can't rape, need a partner to be "in the zone" for me to get wood, not into kids, so same, won't get hard.

I could be both but would be shit at either as I wouldn't be able to get it up.
 

Murkas

Member
Chinner said:
okay real talk part 2, what would you rather be a rapist or a child molester?

Would I qualify as a child molester if I had consensual sex with a 13-14 year old?

Because some year 9's these days...
 
You'd be an ephebophile and statutory rapist I believe. Depending on how old you are yourself, you'd probably end up on an offenders register of some sort, but I don't think you'd technically be a child molester. Your local community might take another view of course!
 
radioheadrule83 said:
You'd be an ephebophile and statutory rapist I believe. Depending on how old you are yourself, you'd probably end up on an offenders register of some sort, but I don't think you'd technically be a child molester. Your local community might take another view of course!

When your having to say your technically not a paedo, you know you're splitting hairs (no pun intended).
 
Semantics I know. It's pretty clear he'd be a slot badger. A two pin DIN plug. A bush dodger. A small bean regarder. A Uni-bummer. A nut administrator. A bent ref. The Crazy World of Arthur Brown. A fence foal. A free willy. A chimney bottler. A bunty man. A shrub rocketeer...
 

SmokyDave

Member
Murkas said:
I'd rather be a shrub rocketeer than a rapist, that's for sure.
Not sure if I would. I could always be a polite and charming rapist, I've no idea what a shrub-rocketeer is. For all I know I might find myself fired out of a cannon atop a flaming privet.
 

Meadows

Banned
I'm pretty sure one of the main three political leaders is gay. Set me gaydar off ever since I first saw him on TV. I'll give you a clue, it isn't Clegg and it isn't Cameron.

Plus if all of this relationship problem malarkey is to be believed then that could be a reason. I'd probably have a bit more respect for Miliband if he came out, it'd give him more character.
 

Murkas

Member
I don't know if I could take part in public dogging. I'd be the guy who watches then gets distracted and starts paying attention to other random things 5 minutes later.

Unless I'm hiding in a bush. Different story then.
 

SmokyDave

Member
There's an odd series of dogging videos on the streaming sites. They came to my attention because one of them featured one of my favourite starlets. The odd thing about these videos is the narrator. Ee's reet narthurn and his accent is the single biggest boner killer since... well.... huh, nobody ever killed my boner before. He's that bad. I'd include some sort of clue as to how to find these vids but I'm nowhere near my iPorn iPad.

SteveWD40 said:
It can be.

As long as I can watch.
Wouldn't be able to peak without you.
 
How did I miss this thread?????

Ok here goes

Gamertag/PSN/Steam ID: PSN:Musha_Soturi
Age: 29
Hometown: Cwmbran
Current residence: London
Occupation: Client Accountant in commercial property management
Favourite place to eat, and what to order there: Any Italian, Carbonara
University (Past/Present/Future): Ebbw Vale college
Favourite TV Show: South Park
Post picture of your favourite british guy (fixed):

Dan20Atherton.jpg



So, when are we going to arrange a British-Gaf meet up?
 
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