North Korea is one of my fascinations. I love watching documentaries on it.
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BritGAF |OT6| Dark Souls? More like Arse Holes
- Thread starter JonathanEx
- Start date
North Korea is one of my fascinations. I love watching documentaries on it.
I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. There have been times where I feel I spend way too much time on NeoGAF, but the thing is, despite being mocked and ridiculed on a daily basis, I have nothing but love for the BritGAF community. Sometimes I care too much about what people here think of me. I like to think that during my time here, I've been somewhat accepted. But, yeah. Meh.
Anyhoo, it will be a shame to see you go, even if it is only for a short while.
Me too. That and Scientology.
On DPRK - I've read a few books on it before and a graphic novel about it. At first it was curiosity and bemusement and now it's turning into anger. I am fascinated by any type of personality cult though. I find it interesting that Kim Il-Sung is deified and I do like hearing about how when Kim Jong-il was born there was a double rainbow, etc.
The famine and torture though...and of course Russian and Chinese support. All very wholesome.
I think one of the problems is that like me, you use the thread as a bit of a blog / vent when you feel down. Which is fine occasionally but then you come to rely on it a bit as a way of getting out of your system (I think it's partially that it is kind of uplifting that someone, even an Internet stranger, is reading / acknowledging that a fellow human feels like poop) and its - in your case - seems to invite trolling - and in my case - becomes an emotional crutch for me because it's like people saying "hey sploat! Away from social nervousness etc, Actual person doesn't mind you that much! Even if you are mentally unstable! Etc" which is nice but becomes unhealthy if you're mentally unstable.
Very solipsistic, I know, and bad grammar too. But you get the gist. I can sympathise with posters who don't want it to become an emo diary and I hate that I can indulge that! (Not asking for validation in this case - I genuinely hate half of my posts here).
So I think it's a bad thing really. I really love this thread and the community but when you feel in your gut that you're becoming a bit much and that you're going on about yourself, it's can be a bit intrusive on folks who just want to be daft and use thread for that . Which is something I hate, and so I want to just stop Gaffing for a while and chill out. When you're almost in tears because some random dude says /pat pat or you're going home thinking "oh man I hope Ninj didn't think I was having a dig" for like 5 hours, it's time to take a few breaths and say, I am a GAF addict and I want to go back to fresh air and not games occasionally.
NinjaBoiX
Member
I don't read books, I should but I don't. I can probably count the books I've read outside of academic obligation on one hand, without a hint of exaggeration.
It's probably why I have such a tenuous grasp on the English language.
Rubbish King
The gift that keeps on giving
I made a thread and people are having a healthy debate and I like that
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
Tash: Confederacy of Dunces is a brilliant read. Very, very funny.
That's a favourite of mine. Operation: Snowwhite being particularly fascinating.
That's a favourite of mine. Operation: Snowwhite being particularly fascinating.
dapperbandit
Banned
I want to a join a cult, sounds like fun. My uncle is a Freemason so I might make inquiries.
Nerdkiller
Membeur
What is up with that owl's beak?
Did I miss something? I only went away to calm myself down.
I decided that I was being a Danny Downer here. I'll use this thread for being a cunt and posting any old bollocks and if I want to vent I'll just pm someone or go for a walk and calm myself down. This thread's meant to be for playful cuntish shenanigans innit?
I decided that I was being a Danny Downer here. I'll use this thread for being a cunt and posting any old bollocks and if I want to vent I'll just pm someone or go for a walk and calm myself down. This thread's meant to be for playful cuntish shenanigans innit?
Oh god I just said innit didn't I?
Rubbish King
The gift that keeps on giving
doritos, math and neogaf
productive day, but im really cold now so it's time for beer and pool
productive day, but im really cold now so it's time for beer and pool
Absolutely. I'm a little bit obsessed (yup!) with the Super Power Building. The idea of enabling humans to physically achieve transcendence via the type of apparatus astronauts use for pre-flight training is just incredible.
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
YOURE ONE OF THEM
Watch it or I'll have you declared SP.
COB has already said that lamprey eels are PTS. Next time I'm at Flag for auditing I'm going to ask Tom Cruise to jump from a cliff onto your head.
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
Back in The Hole I go...
There's an actual CoS in Manchester centre. I always want to go in and have a nosey, but I don't think I'd ever come out. It looks pretty low budget tbh. Lots of office furniture and bookshelves full of LRH materials. Posters in the window with LRH's 21 precepts for happiness and something about the Dynamics. It's all low-rent pseudophilosophy, obviously, but the level of conviction to it is what really fascinates me. It must be liberating to give up all free thought and get yoked to someone else's thoughts on life, the universe and everything.
I really need to get back to work.
show me your skeleton
Member
love all this stuff. i remember being asked if i wanted a personality test by some scientologists whilst in australia. i couldn't understand them much over their constant bbq-ing and slurping from cans of fosters.
i used to walk past the freemason's building in brighton every day and imagined them all sat there, busy puppeteering obama, hiding evidence of extraterrestrials and disallowing women from membership.
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
I dunno, seems quite the opposite to me! I find that level of blind conviction quite threatening, if I'm honest. "Only the madman is absolutely sure" after all.
I was doing training in Bromley and outside was this lovely old school brass band under an anti-drugs banner. They had these pamphlets, which I'm an absolute sucker for (Chick Tracts in particular). I nabbed a load and read through them, fairly stoned and chortling to myself. By the end, I was horrified at all the bollocks. Checked out who it was by and found out it was these sneaky Scientology folk. Ended up spending most of the rest of the week reading up on them.
They really do represent everything I hate about people.
STEAM SALE WOO WOO!
Is Metal Gear Solid V worth it?
Do you like MGS?
I know we've never seen eye-to-eye but, honestly, you are one of my favourite posters within the BritGAF community. You always have something worthwhile to contribute and, really, I see a lot of me in you. There was a time when I'd just have to walk away from the laptop because something someone had said had genuinely upset me. At the beginning of 2014, I was going through a really rough patch and I took to NeoGAF for support. It was horrible. I didn't get the support. Instead, I got ridicule and a flurry of 'man up lol' posts. It hit me hard. I turned to self-harm, to drink, to drugs. None of it helped.
So I took some time away from the forum. I needed to find myself. I needed to take a step back and evaluate my life. I deleted all social media, too. I cut myself off from everyone and started afresh. I laid the foundations and slowly rebuilt my life. New friends, new work, new outlook, etc. It worked. It took time, sure, but I got there. And now I'm here, a completely different man to what I was nine months ago. There is the odd blip now and then where I let something someone says to me get to me, but it's nothing compared to last year.
The general consensus regarding me and my Tumblr-lite posts is split. Some like it, some don't, the others care neither way. But, eh, you know what? I just try to let it go over my head. Some members get to me, no names mentioned, eh, banofypie - but I'm still on that 'journey' to learning to stop caring altogether. I'll get there eventually.
I truly hope you are OK, Beth. If you feel like dropping me a PM, feel free. I always have time for someone who wishes to vent. Try not to let everything get on top of you/let it get to you. And again, I hope you and E have a fantastic Christmas together. Hope to see you soon, sploat.
Rubbish King
The gift that keeps on giving
I just post like a wild card because that's what i am
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
Been meaning to ask you. You coming down to Devon for Christmas?
I'm afraid that's complete bollocks. The amount of effort people put into helping you (especially on whatsapp) was pretty substantial considering they were strangers on the internet. You decided to cunt everybody off and flounce out.
If you've got it together now, I'm happy for you but I couldn't let that shit slide.
Mannn it was pretty epic, don't typically use that word. That said, I hadn't listened to Animals As Leaders newest album from this year or a bunch of the newer Devin Townsend stuff so I didn't recognize a lot. Was hoping AAL would play On Impulse, they didn't, or hear some songs from Addicted! but didn't hear any. Still a fun energetic show. Oh and no Anneke unfortunately.
I didn't know they had another opener called Monuments playing. They were damn good, tons of energy and got the crowd really into it.
Rubbish King
The gift that keeps on giving
No, me and dad decided I would come back after my math exam in jan xx
I missed this, Cyanide if you truly think that not one of us tried to help you, you can fuck right off. I, whilst on 2.68 an hour offered you money when I had one to myself when you couldn't afford your secret santa gift and even once you left GAF still continued to check up on you and offer my very humble advice, right until you blocked me from life.
seriously, I mean this in the most serious manner when I tell you to go fuck yourself.
I aint even mad, you're just an ungrateful, disillusioned bastard for that comment.
show me your skeleton
Member
oh.
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
zomgbbqftw
Banned
Clearly one of your problems is poor decision making.
roundabout
Banned
I've been thinking about this today, thinking "why does everyone dogpile poor Cy" and so here is my take:
Have you seen Parks and Rec? You're Jerry (or Larry if we're on season six).
I can go deeper in this: every community, be it real or otherwise has a set of social dynamics, people find their places etc. your temperament, posting style and personality have marked you, however unfortunately, as a group scapegoat. You see it happen on forums all the time. What I think is particularly interesting about it is that you're not an unintelligent man. You're aware of this, I think sometimes you enjoy the notoriety of your position. For better or worse, you're as much a staple of this thread as anyone else. NinjaBoiX, sploatee, Sadetar, Mikeside, all of the various characters who make up this soap opera and their various roles and functions inside that. But I think that also, your personality means that the joshing will inevitably go too far, or you'll be drunk or it's an off day and you will actually take offence and respond in kind. It happens like, twice a week. The thing is, that's what makes you special. Your genuine pained reactions are entertaining, it's like emotional slapstick. If you're too aware and in on the joke, it's not funny, and so you'll get someone like banofypie who will take the piss harder and THEN you'll bite and then it's funny again. Basically, Brit GAF uses you as a punchline and that's ok, it's what makes you special.
And that's why Jerry is the best character on Parks and Rec
Larry
I would say "Oh fuck you..." but you do have an exam so I guess I can let you off.
See, this is where I'm shit at getting my point across. I know several of you - you, Musha, Ninj, Jimbor, to name a few - tried helping me, and I appreciate that, but the general consensus from NeoGAF (this isn't BritGAF-centric) was that I need to man up and grow a pair. You think I don't feel shitty about not being able to buy an SS? Or that I still fucking owe Dave money? That's really pissed me off that you think I'm ungrateful to those who have supported me. Those people KNOW I love them for their support. And blocked you from life? Mate, you were one of the first people I texted when I went back on radar. You ignored me.
Fuck you, man.
Yeah, what jim said. Cy, I faced down some pretty hard demons to try and help you and opened up about things I really wasn't comfortable talking about to show you that it's ok to open up and be yourself so long as you're honest.
You're a compulsive liar and a massive attention seeker. I would really like it if you would go away and think about why everyone thinks you're a cunt, then change your attitude, but I know you won't.
This is the last time you get my attention. I suggest anyone feeling the way I do about CyanideStrike just completely ignore him as I plan to. He's not worth the strain on your eyes to read his posts.
JonathanEx
Member
Oh man, do I have to bust out the radio voice again?
HEYITSZANELOWEWHOSEONBOARDYEAHWEGOTTHEHOTTESTRECORDINTHEWORRLDRIGHTNOWYEAH
HEYITSZANELOWEWHOSEONBOARDYEAHWEGOTTHEHOTTESTRECORDINTHEWORRLDRIGHTNOWYEAH
Any plans this weekend folks? I've got a pretty busy one, seeing some family Saturday, then a new bar/arcade that opened in the city, then some work Sunday and packing for my flight to family Monday.
edit: I'm just an onlooker in all of this but your hostility and quickness to jump on people, especially those who apparently have been reaching out, is a serious issue that you need to work on.
This, this right here, is why people are upset with you. If Tushy did as much as he did to try to look out for you, and you tell him fuck you because you wrote a vague post labeling NeoGAF as unhelpful, then you can go sit somewhere off of the internet and digest why so many people are upset with you. Maybe it will be clearer.
edit: I'm just an onlooker in all of this but your hostility and quickness to jump on people, especially those who apparently have been reaching out, is a serious issue that you need to work on.
JonathanEx
Member
Well, tomorrow is the office Christmas party. We're going to some masquerade ball. Soooo Saturday = hungover and maybe deal with some shit in the afternoon. Then on Sunday, meeting up with some friends from university for the fifth annual Gammon Illuminati night. In which we go to a carvery and celebrate meat, in particular, gammon.
We had ours on Tuesday. Didn't stop the wine flowing. Luckily I'm pretty good at not waking up with a hangover the next day.